Jokes of the day

downbound123

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2017
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Ok, a “friend” told me this one:

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: He wiped his ass!

(Trigger warning: This joke might not be for everyone, so if you’re offended take your phone and call someone who cares)
Do you hear about the Cannibal, who went out for a walk and passed his friend in the woods.
 
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thirdcup

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2005
1,340
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Directly above the center of the earth
I'm proud of myself.

I finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.
The box said 2-4 years.
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
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Cabbagetown
I'm proud of myself.

I finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.
The box said 2-4 years.
Ummm... post #215, page 11. You even gave me a like for it.
Two blonde girls are working on a jigsaw puzzle. When they put the last piece in place, they high five each other, and say "Thirty-seven days!". A guy asks them why they said thirty-seven days, and one blonde says "We finished that puzzle in only thirty-seven days, and on the box it says 3-5 years!".
Joke squirrel.
 
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thirdcup

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2005
1,340
113
63
Directly above the center of the earth

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,620
17,446
113
Cabbagetown
When I used to do file sharing/ trading on WinMX in the early 2000's, one of the files in my library, small enough that the queued download request would start automatically, was this pic, which had filename "Guy with huge cock.jpg"

rooster.jpg
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,620
17,446
113
Cabbagetown
A golfer goes into the 19th hole with a big purple 'mouse' on his forehead. He orders a double scotch, neat. The bartender says "What happened, did you get hit with a ball?" The golfer says, "No, much worse. I made my tee shot on 17, and sliced the ball way off to the left, into the farmer's field. I looked for that ball for twenty minutes; I had a chance to break 80, and I couldn't afford to lose the strokes. Then this cow walked by, her tail went up, and I see a golf ball lodged in the cow's vagina. I go over and take a look, and it's a Dunlop 65. I'm shooting a Titleist 2. Then this lady comes over, and says she lost her ball, too. I asked her what she was shooting, and she says 'a Dunlop 65'. So I went up to the cow, lifted up her tail, and said 'this one looks like yours, lady'. She hit me with a five iron".
 
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Ashley Madison
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