Jokes of the day

[onomatopoeia]

 

[thirdcup]

Why don't stupid women use vibrators?



......It chips their teeth.

 

[onomatopoeia]

 

[onomatopoeia]

Three drunk guys are fishing from a boat in the middle of a lake at night. Jim stands up to walk over to the beer cooler, loses his balance, topples overboard and sinks underwater. The other two guys have a good laugh, but when the water calms, they realize that Jim hasn't come up for air. Ed convinces Bill to dive in, and search for Jim underwater. Bill dives in, and in about 30 seconds, returns to the surface, dragging a body behind him. The body is pulled into the boat, but there is no sound of breathing. Ed convinces Bill to try mouth to mouth resuscitation. Bill blows air into the body's mouth, then starts coughing. "Jesus Christ, Jim", says Bill. "Your breath could gag a maggot. And when did you find time to change into that snowmobile suit down there?".

 

[bemeup]

Why is the reverse cowgirl position illegal in Alabama? Because you don’t turn your back on family.

 

[thirdcup]

Do midgets get paid under the table?

 

[thirdcup]

People keep saying "Nothing is Impossible", but I do nothing most days...

So you're saying nothing IS possible. And I agree.
Something like people who say "I will stop at nothing." Therefore, do nothing, and those people will stop.

 

[onomatopoeia]

I like to do things that no one else can. Just yesterday, I denied that he's a jolly good fellow.

 

[Robert Mugabe]

So you're saying nothing IS possible. And I agree.
Something like people who say "I will stop at nothing." Therefore, do nothing, and those people will stop.

Steve Martin said "it's the least I can do. And that's what I'm shooting for".