The night before the marriage of Prince Charles to Lady Diana, Charles goes out for a stag night with his friends and his brothers and gets absolutely shit-faced drunk.
The next morning he has no memory of what happened, but he has a raging hangover. Suddenly, he remembers he's supposed to be at Westminster Abbey for his wedding.
He rushes around getting on his coat and tails, but he can’t find his shoes anywhere. Then, suddenly, he spots Prince Edward’s shoes, so he grabs those quickly and puts them on. Edward’s shoes are two sizes too small and they are crushing his feet, but he has no choice: he rushes to get the car and go to the service to marry Lady Diana.
Well, the service is agony for him. He is severely hungover and wearing shoes two sizes too small. But he limps through the ceremony, and he limps through the reception, and finally they get to the end of the day and he retires to Kensington Palace with his new bride at the end of the day.
Princess Diana goes into the bathroom to make herself ready for her big night, and Charles finally has a moment to himself.
Unbeknownst to Charles, the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh have their concerns to make sure that Charles does his royal duty on his wedding night. So they go to the room next door and listen intently at the wall.
At this exact moment Charles is trying to pull off the first one of Edward’s shoes.
“Oh, Jesus Christ, I cannot believe how tight that is -- bloody hell, arrrrrrrrrgggggghhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. that’s better.”
The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh look at each other, and then the Queen smiles regally. “You see, Philip, I told you she was a virgin!”
Then Charles starts working on the other shoe.
“Shit, OH MY GOD, I don’t believe it. This one is even tighter!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh look at each other again, and Philip cackles: “That’s my boy! Once a sailor, always a sailor!!!!!”