Easter atheist joke
the last words of Jesus on the cross were "forgive them father for they know not what they do"
Little known fact were his second last words
"I can see my house from here"
It's the end of rush week at the Iota Eta Psi frat house, (they're no longer allowed to sell the "I ought ta eat a pussy" sweatshirts online). The chapter president says to the remaining five candidates: "Listen up, you pieces of shit! Only one of you will be joining us, and that one will be the first of you to return to this room with a used condom that smells like pussy. GO!". Four guys run out the door, tripping over each other. One guy walks calmly into the kitchen, and looks in the utensils drawer. Then he opens a pantry cupboard door, then he walks into the bathroom. Five minutes later, he walks into the living room, drops a used condom on the table, and says "Which room is mine? And I owe somebody a can of tuna".