SO gaining weight :(

[freedom3]

That’s great advice if you want your marriage to go to shit. Making her insecure might make her lose weight...sure...but once she does, other men will notice. Men who she won’t associate with feeling like crap. That might encourage her eye to wander, too. Playing games never solves anything. It’s the refuge of the emotionally stunted.

Her feeling secure in the relationship is what is causing her to feel okay about gaining weight. Here is how it works:

She feels secure in the relationship (ie. marriage with no pre-nup or marriage with kids) = gaining weight = not in the mood for sex.

She feels she needs to keep him in the relationship = thin = always in the mood.

Ask any married man about sex pre-marriage and sex post-marriage.

 

[Ffm_BV]

Her feeling secure in the relationship is what is causing her to feel okay about gaining weight. Here is how it works:

She feels secure in the relationship (ie. marriage with no pre-nup or marriage with kids) = gaining weight = not in the mood for sex.

She feels she needs to keep him in the relationship = thin = always in the mood.

Ask any married man about sex pre-marriage and sex post-marriage.

I could ask any married man but then I’d be asking those who are not equipped to deal with marital struggles in a productive manner. The divorce stats are pretty robust and often times things go to shit because of poor communication. Rather than being patient and productively working through issues, most people take the quick fix which often means playing games or trying to manipulate a partner into doing what they want.

Making his wife insecure can have one of two consequences. Either she’s put off by his wandering eye and (instead of losing weight) she gains more to spite him and becomes a huge bitch to him due to resentment. Either that or she’ll lose the weight and become a huge bitch to him because he made her feel bad when she was chubby. She’ll still resent him and she’ll validate her attractiveness to herself by basking in the attention of other men. In either case, I doubt that’s the outcome OP is looking for. He’s already said he likes everything else about his wife. Why soil the parts of his relationship that he enjoys?

Women don’t gain weight due to feeling secure. That might happen with a small weight gain like 5-10lbs here and there. A 40lb weight gain is a cry for help. That’s a woman who already feels insecure and has no incentive to make things better. She needs support, reassurance and patience. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m just saying that’s the positive way to fix that problem which won’t ruin the rest of the marriage.

 

[malata]

like saying "would you still love your wife if she became disabled" or "her face became so disfigured beyond recognition due to an accident or disease", would you still love her?

if you fell in love with her because of her internal qualities, then nothing else matters in the end...

 

[deezed]

With all do respect to the other gents who have posted - fat loss is all diet , the gym is great for muscle tone and health . My brother went from 320 to 195 in 2yrs following my strict diet and watching TV .It is a very tough strict diet designed by trainer (competitive,champion bodybuilder)

 

[Robert Mugabe]

That’s great advice if you want your marriage to go to shit. Making her insecure might make her lose weight...sure...but once she does, other men will notice. Men who she won’t associate with feeling like crap. That might encourage her eye to wander, too. Playing games never solves anything. It’s the refuge of the emotionally stunted.

I thought this place was the refuge of the emotionally stunted. Seems like one of us doesn't get the hang of it.

 

[Ffm_BV]

I thought this place was the refuge of the emotionally stunted. Seems like one of us doesn't get the hang of it.

:yo: touché.

 

[freedom3]

I could ask any married man but then I’d be asking those who are not equipped to deal with marital struggles in a productive manner. The divorce stats are pretty robust and often times things go to shit because of poor communication. Rather than being patient and productively working through issues, most people take the quick fix which often means playing games or trying to manipulate a partner into doing what they want.

Making his wife insecure can have one of two consequences. Either she’s put off by his wandering eye and (instead of losing weight) she gains more to spite him and becomes a huge bitch to him due to resentment. Either that or she’ll lose the weight and become a huge bitch to him because he made her feel bad when she was chubby. She’ll still resent him and she’ll validate her attractiveness to herself by basking in the attention of other men. In either case, I doubt that’s the outcome OP is looking for. He’s already said he likes everything else about his wife. Why soil the parts of his relationship that he enjoys?

Women don’t gain weight due to feeling secure. That might happen with a small weight gain like 5-10lbs here and there. A 40lb weight gain is a cry for help. That’s a woman who already feels insecure and has no incentive to make things better. She needs support, reassurance and patience. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m just saying that’s the positive way to fix that problem which won’t ruin the rest of the marriage.

So what are you suggesting? He say to her: "I don't want to have sex with you because you are getting chunky." I predict massive tears and strained relations from then on. On the plus size (no pun intended), it will definitely shut down her pestering him for sex.

 

[probyn]

With all do respect to the other gents who have posted - fat loss is all diet , the gym is great for muscle tone and health . My brother went from 320 to 195 in 2yrs following my strict diet and watching TV .It is a very tough strict diet designed by trainer (competitive,champion bodybuilder)

deezed. Would you please tell me where I can find this diet? Or maybe PM me the details. Thanks.

 

[blixa]

She could be having thyroid issues.

 

[Ffm_BV]

So what are you suggesting? He say to her: "I don't want to have sex with you because you are getting chunky." I predict massive tears and strained relations from then on. On the plus size (no pun intended), it will definitely shut down her pestering him for sex.

What? No. I think I was very clear in my comments to the OP about how to handle this situation productively.

 

[Conil]

Low carb diet, cut the sugar and flour and it melts off.

https://www.thestar.com/life/2018/02/19/sugar-addiction-not-so-sweetly-simple.html

 

[freedom3]

What? No. I think I was very clear in my comments to the OP about how to handle this situation productively.

I just read your previous post. I hope the OP gives your suggestion a try. To me, it will be rewarding bad behaviour. If anything, she will think he likes the chunky look because he is treating her so well and she will truly not care about how much weight she gains. However, you might be right. OP: please give this a try and report back.

 

[Goodoer]

I think the thread sort of derailed when we all chirped in with our comments...

To the OP: Your only concern listed is the weight gain of your SO.
1. If it is a little bit and she falls within the healthy BMI charts, then you're probably too picky.
2. If she's become "overweight", then try the gentle approach by getting the both of you out and moving around and eating better. It'll probably be a good move anyways for the both of you. Keep on fuckin' away as it'll help.
3. If it is a shit-tonne and she's obese and needs two chairs to sit on, then be blunt, my man as you've fucked up enough missing #2. If it is due to laziness and eating Cheetos, then tell her so. Regardless, she has to go to a doctor to figure out what is wrong with her (ie. mental, diet, thyroid) and she has to commit to getting better. Stop fucking immediately. Don't have kids either as it'll get even worse.

Further comments: Unless either one of you have a weight fetish, you should (relatively) match your SO in terms of fitness level. If you have a beer gut, chill out on the expectations. A curvy chick is great - I'm assuming your SO is in this category as she seems to be full of energy (see #2)

 

[frankcastle]

If you think you can get her to lose weight good luck.

Not only does the person need to exercise they also need to eat properly. So unless you are taking over her life good luck.

Decide.... do you want to or have to stay with her. If not leave.

But think carefully.... how the rest of the relationship? If the other aspects are good maybe stick around.

Keep in mind how's your body, hair line and dick performing these days? Are you still the "catch" that you began as?

 

[rachel2016]

Relationship advise from a hooker. Classic.

This isn't a board solely for clients, and the fact of the matter is that paying advertisers (aka "hookers", aka the woman who posted that advice) are the only reason this site is up and running. Hookers are the only reason you're able to post your shitty opinions all over this board.

Also, hookers have relationships too. Some are married, some are commonlaw, some are poly. Why shouldn't sex workers be allowed to give relationship advice? Hookers spend hours saving marriages and listening to clients' relationship woes. It gives a unique perspective and you're lucky to have a chance to have read that advice, and for free, no less.

 

[Kirby2006]

Relationship advise from a hooker. Classic.

Silence is golden when you have nothing to add to the discussion except disdain for the ladies in this profession and women in general.

 

[Dick Ford]

Relationship advise from a hooker. Classic.

So the guy who is seeking advice in an escort review forum about how hard it is to deal with his wife's weight gain is better served by other men who see escorts (hence, single or not likely happily married, or at least not having sex with their SO) than by an actual escort who deals with married men on a regular basis? Judging by the advice given in this thread, I think I'll listen to the "hooker" instead.

Also, isn't the OP likely already seeing a provider, seeing as he's a member here? So hasn't he solved his own problem?

 

[shack]

Relationship advise from a hooker. Classic.

At first glance it is a shitty thing to say.

It may not have been his intent but it may have been said in a sense of irony. That is, it is ironic that the person a married guy goes to to be unfaithful is the one giving advice about a relationship, not that she is not qualified to give said advice.

Not making excuses or defending, just speculating.

 

[Mr.lover]

Personally I don't like skinny chicks. I like my women with some meat and curves to them. Not obese but women with a bit of tummy doesn't throw me. I am a face person and a sexual appeal is tops. If a woman oozes sex appeal that is the best. Personally I don't find hard bodies appealing, neither obese. Somewhere in between, like the Latin chicks.

 

[Smallcock]

If you do convince her to lose weight, understand that once the weight is gone, her sex drive will decrease substantially. It seems just the way life works. Can never seem to have it all for long.