Jokes of the day
- Thread starter thirdcup
- Start date
- Jun 15, 2004
- 8,336
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The boss answers the phone at work early one morning. “Boss, it’s Joe here. I’m sorry, I feel like crap today, there’s no way I can come to work.” Boss says “Joe, I really need you today. Why don’t you try something I do when I wake up feeling like crap. I have anal sex with my wife. There’s something about anal that invigorates me.” Joe says “ ok boss, I’ll give it a try.” One hour later the phone rings, Joe says “you were right boss, I feel a lot better.I’ll be at work in a half hour. Oh, and by the way boss, you have a nice house.”
An old man shuffles into a brothel and asks the receptionist how much for one of their models.
The receptionist replies 400 dollars.
The old man with sticker shock, replies, you are putting me on!
The receptionist replies that that is an extra 50 dollars.
The receptionist replies 400 dollars.
The old man with sticker shock, replies, you are putting me on!
The receptionist replies that that is an extra 50 dollars.
Reminds me of the time Herve Villechaize had sex with Naomi Campbell. Someone put him up to it.
Got away with Geronimo, so I'll try another ethnic joke:
A young woman is visiting a new gynecologist. He has her up in the stirrups performing the examination and asks:
"Have you had a checkup here before?"
To which she replied:
"I don't think so, my boyfriend is Polish"...
A young woman is visiting a new gynecologist. He has her up in the stirrups performing the examination and asks:
"Have you had a checkup here before?"
To which she replied:
"I don't think so, my boyfriend is Polish"...
Oh. To the person who ripped off my prescription antidepressants, I hope you're happy!
Guy#1 says to guy#2, "Hypothetical question, If we went camping and one morning you woke up with your pants down to your ankles and a used condom sticking out of your ass, would you tell anyone?"
Guy#2 replies "uhhh, NO!"
Guy#1then says "Good, let's go camping!!!"
Guy#2 replies "uhhh, NO!"
Guy#1then says "Good, let's go camping!!!"
Spike Milligan's crossword puzzle for idiots.
Attachments
And when they were nose to nose
his toes was in it
and when they were toes to toes
his nose was in it.
A teacher, a lawyer and a priest were standing on the deck of the Titanic as it started to take on water. The teacher shouted “ save the children, save the children”, the lawyer shouted “Fuck the children “ and the priest called out “is there time?”
