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Infatuation / Falling Hard for an SP ...
- Thread starter TheWheel
- Start date
I wasn't going to add to this thread because I already added a lot over to the years in the other "dating an escort" threads but I do want to add this:
I can understand Alexa's comments about "guys looking for freebies" because I'm sure it happens. Hell, guys are always looking to get laid without it costing us dearly.
But, here's another angle to it: I'm a carpenter/cabinet maker. I often do "freebies" for people that are special to me and even customers that I want to keep long term. It's part of customer service. Even taking that out of the equation there is one lady in particular who I am as close to as a man and woman can be without having sex. I do stuff free for her all the time because I just don't like taking her money. I'm glad to do the stuff for her in fact for the most part, I feel really bad for taking her money and if I don't, she feels bad for NOT giving me money.
It is funny, now that I am writing this there is also an sp who has said those same words to me (she feels bad for taking my money). She said to me that "she enjoys herself so much with me so much that she feels guilty...". The proof will be if she ever opts to not charge me, that will determine just how much she enjoys my company.
Anyhow, my advice to the OP is that go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If she doesn't share the same feelings for you? Move onwards and upwards. I find that too many people (especially in North America) think it is somehow wrong to meet someone, like them, and express those feelings to them. (I know many women who would run for the hills if a guy dared express himself this way...which is crazy in my mind but hey, my mind is a terrible thing to waste lol).
I can understand Alexa's comments about "guys looking for freebies" because I'm sure it happens. Hell, guys are always looking to get laid without it costing us dearly.
But, here's another angle to it: I'm a carpenter/cabinet maker. I often do "freebies" for people that are special to me and even customers that I want to keep long term. It's part of customer service. Even taking that out of the equation there is one lady in particular who I am as close to as a man and woman can be without having sex. I do stuff free for her all the time because I just don't like taking her money. I'm glad to do the stuff for her in fact for the most part, I feel really bad for taking her money and if I don't, she feels bad for NOT giving me money.
It is funny, now that I am writing this there is also an sp who has said those same words to me (she feels bad for taking my money). She said to me that "she enjoys herself so much with me so much that she feels guilty...". The proof will be if she ever opts to not charge me, that will determine just how much she enjoys my company.
Anyhow, my advice to the OP is that go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. If she doesn't share the same feelings for you? Move onwards and upwards. I find that too many people (especially in North America) think it is somehow wrong to meet someone, like them, and express those feelings to them. (I know many women who would run for the hills if a guy dared express himself this way...which is crazy in my mind but hey, my mind is a terrible thing to waste lol).
OK so I am an SP and have been for over 3yrs now. I have come across my fair share of men who say "they love me". "want to move me in and save me from this life" and unfortunately, I wasn't feeling it in return. If I had wanted a serious relationship I would have been in one and not working as an SP(my personal feelings on this, no offense to those who are married/in relationship and 'working' 
. I never did lie to those guys though because any -regular- client I have had, I have respected and enjoyed, therefore, why lead them on? This can be a pain because when not reciprocated, most men will move on and you lose their business. It's too bad!
I can also ad here...I did fall for ONE of my clients...
good luck
. I never did lie to those guys though because any -regular- client I have had, I have respected and enjoyed, therefore, why lead them on? This can be a pain because when not reciprocated, most men will move on and you lose their business. It's too bad!I can also ad here...I did fall for ONE of my clients...
good luck
Your heart wants her and perhaps her heart wants the same. As I've learned in my life there are very very very few people in this world that make you feel almost 'high' when you are around them and that you crave when you are apart.
This was very well written and thought out. I have had 2 sps I got to know well fall for me. For the 1st one I did not share her feelings outside our hour together and told her so and stopped seeing her. You may mind this is the case for you when you let her know your feelings. For the 2nd one I was totally shocked that this hot women would think of me as more than a favorite customer. I had gotten to know what she was like as a "person outside the business" over the time we saw each other as sp and customer. Discovering that she had emotional feeling towards me allowed me to assess feelings I might have for her, not something I would ever allow myself to do with an sp given the nature of the relationship. I had feelings towards her and we decided to explore them. She insisted on terminating her part time sp work due to our relationship. So far, so good. She makes me feel "high" when she is around and I crave her when she is not around. She has "unconditional" love for me, which is gratifying but also scary. I am so lucky to have connected with this wonderful person and I am glad that she took the bold step to discuss possible feelings for each other. We don't share with our friends how we met, nor do we care, we are just glad that we did meet given the results. She is my soulmate, inspiration and good friend. Good luck, but take small steps and remember that not all will be as fortunate as I was.
This was very well written and thought out. I have had 2 sps I got to know well fall for me. For the 1st one I did not share her feelings outside our hour together and told her so and stopped seeing her. You may mind this is the case for you when you let her know your feelings. For the 2nd one I was totally shocked that this hot women would think of me as more than a favorite customer. I had gotten to know what she was like as a "person outside the business" over the time we saw each other as sp and customer. Discovering that she had emotional feeling towards me allowed me to assess feelings I might have for her, not something I would ever allow myself to do with an sp given the nature of the relationship. I had feelings towards her and we decided to explore them. She insisted on terminating her part time sp work due to our relationship. So far, so good. She makes me feel "high" when she is around and I crave her when she is not around. She has "unconditional" love for me, which is gratifying but also scary. I am so lucky to have connected with this wonderful person and I am glad that she took the bold step to discuss possible feelings for each other. We don't share with our friends how we met, nor do we care, we are just glad that we did meet given the results. She is my soulmate, inspiration and good friend. Good luck, but take small steps and remember that not all will be as fortunate as I was.
Why, because it's true? When is the last time you saw a normal woman going after a guy simply because she likes sex?Alexa Taylor said:
Too often you hear women say things like
"Why buy the cow if he gets the milk for free?"
"He is a jerk, he is cut off for the next 3 weeks"
And, the best example:
The lack of interest in sex by mostly the wife after getting married (not before).
So, women know how to play a guy using sex. It's been like that for ages.
The Wheel,
I'm concerned when you say this woman is a chance to complete you. You only know her work personna. Are you the same at work as you are at home? I know that I'm not and while the core person is the same there is a lot you might not know about her that could change how you feel about her.
Slow down you are going to scare the shit out of her regardless of whether she might feel anything for you. I hope you get a chance to go out on a date with her but treat it as just that.... a date.
I'm concerned when you say this woman is a chance to complete you. You only know her work personna. Are you the same at work as you are at home? I know that I'm not and while the core person is the same there is a lot you might not know about her that could change how you feel about her.
Slow down you are going to scare the shit out of her regardless of whether she might feel anything for you. I hope you get a chance to go out on a date with her but treat it as just that.... a date.
Nah, I bet most guys who fall for escorts are married. If you fuck the same woman enough times, and she's pretty, and the sex is good, and she's fun to be around, there's a pretty good chance you'll develop some feelings. It's human nature, it's wired into our biology. Worse, we're programmed to become all irrational when it happens, which means it's real easy to miss the blindingly obvious, like, "she doesn't give a fuck about me at all".solitaria said:
Which is why I switch around and never see the same escort twice in a month, less often if I can help it. Certainly never twice in a row. Screwing a couple of other women is a great cure for the biological irrationality that afflicts us sometimes.
I've got too much stuff to do in my life to waste time falling for escorts, but I'm as human as everyone else, so I avoid putting myself into that situation.
F
Repeat after me...in the eyes of the pros, you are just another statistics. You are a "dairy cow" to whom she can milk the money of her own choosing.
She may play the part of the 30-60 mins GF as she values your business but she has no obligation to "baby sit" you or be your "shrink/counsellor".
Some will manipulate you to the extent that they will be adequately compensated, while others will be "ethical" by giving a warning of addition/infacturation to you to think twice before you do further damage/something stupid. The latter group of pros doing this is rare, but not uncommon.
You could spend additional money on gifts as appreciation to her service if budget allows but don't expect she loves/likes you in return . Count yourself lucky, maybe unlucky if she has the same feeling as you do.
One ultimate litmus test....when she says the following,
"If you really love me, mind to get a supplementary card for me ?"
J/K
She may play the part of the 30-60 mins GF as she values your business but she has no obligation to "baby sit" you or be your "shrink/counsellor".
Some will manipulate you to the extent that they will be adequately compensated, while others will be "ethical" by giving a warning of addition/infacturation to you to think twice before you do further damage/something stupid. The latter group of pros doing this is rare, but not uncommon.
You could spend additional money on gifts as appreciation to her service if budget allows but don't expect she loves/likes you in return . Count yourself lucky, maybe unlucky if she has the same feeling as you do.
One ultimate litmus test....when she says the following,
"If you really love me, mind to get a supplementary card for me
?"J/K
Most guys that are married, if they are anything like me, are worried about how not to get caught.fuji said:
If you really are married and have trouble not falling in love with beautiful women of whom you are paying to fuck you must be an incredibly needy person.
Why date her when you could just fuck her? The rest is just emotional neediness and ego tripping.
KWI: you are just perpetuating the stigma of that "old school" way of thinking. I personally know and have known a few women who like to fuck and never once thought of them as sluts because of it. I know many of my buddies did too (do too? didn't also? whatever).
Now if you want to see what many consider to be a slut, watch some of those girls gone wild videos where chicks basically get naked in the street for a bunch of horny frat boys, now IMO they are sluts.
Another good example how this isn't necessarily the case is the Pam Anderson or Paris Hilton video tapes. I didn't read one line from any legit publication calling them tramps/sluts/whores.
Alexa: Women CAN have sex without feelings of shame. But honestly, giving a guy a blowjob in the can of some nightclub isn't the most classiest act wouldn't you agree? But if a woman meets a guy, goes home with him and boinks his brains out then grabs a cab later, more power to her for getting what she wants when she wants it. Nothing wrong with "no strings sex".
I think most of the guys on here have to be some of the most open minded individuals around. Now you may get differing opinions if you went on the Christian Saints web site and posted the same thread....
Now if you want to see what many consider to be a slut, watch some of those girls gone wild videos where chicks basically get naked in the street for a bunch of horny frat boys, now IMO they are sluts.
Another good example how this isn't necessarily the case is the Pam Anderson or Paris Hilton video tapes. I didn't read one line from any legit publication calling them tramps/sluts/whores.
Alexa: Women CAN have sex without feelings of shame. But honestly, giving a guy a blowjob in the can of some nightclub isn't the most classiest act wouldn't you agree? But if a woman meets a guy, goes home with him and boinks his brains out then grabs a cab later, more power to her for getting what she wants when she wants it. Nothing wrong with "no strings sex".
I think most of the guys on here have to be some of the most open minded individuals around. Now you may get differing opinions if you went on the Christian Saints web site and posted the same thread....
Because, dude, people aren't machines. Maybe you're Odo from Star Trek, but the rest of us are biological creatures with hardwired instincts. See the part where I said we're hardwired to become irrational in these situations.solitaria said:
I never said it was a good idea. I avoid it.
I think women can have sex without feeling guilt or shame but not in the same situations or for the same reasons as men. I think biology matters here far more than people would like to admit. We like to think we are in control of our lives in some rational way. We don't like to think that sometimes biology and instincts control us the way it controls chickens and dogs. But it does.Alexa Taylor said:
For a few million years sex was a more expensive proposition for women than for men. Not anymore, now that we have condoms and the pill, but that's where we came from. Both badly need it to replicate and perpetuate, but the woman HAS to be far more choosey than the man does: A guy can get 3-4 different women pregnant in one day, a woman gets to choose one a year. Simple economics, natural selection, whatever, mean women are pickier. When they DO find a partner they want they'll enjoy it, but the rest of the time, no-but men will always enjoy it in almost any situation.
So in very many species, including ours, females are really, really choosey about who they have sex with, and men will fuck any female they can. It's biology.
Sure these days we've got birth control, but your instincts and your biology don't know that. They're operating according to rules that were developed over the last million years, and they are not just some external urge you can control or direct, they form your conscious being.
In the modern world that means that men are willing to have sex with just any woman, and want it a lot more than women do, hence, men pay and women sell.
There are also jealousy issues that you have to deal with.
Following the Ethan Allan's story.
4. Her cell phone rings, she has a quick conversation, and a few minutes later there is a knock at the door. She jumps up, drops her robe, and now seems all happy and excited as she goes to the door to greet some guy and affectionately walk him into the bedroom. A minute later she comes back and tells you she will only be an hour. Enjoy your burnt toast and rubbery eggs.
Think of how you will feel sitting there eating your toast as she is in the bedroom showing some other guy the time of his life. Can you deal with it?
Following the Ethan Allan's story.
4. Her cell phone rings, she has a quick conversation, and a few minutes later there is a knock at the door. She jumps up, drops her robe, and now seems all happy and excited as she goes to the door to greet some guy and affectionately walk him into the bedroom. A minute later she comes back and tells you she will only be an hour. Enjoy your burnt toast and rubbery eggs.
Think of how you will feel sitting there eating your toast as she is in the bedroom showing some other guy the time of his life. Can you deal with it?
You know, for a second there I thought you had some class but yet again, you prove me wrong.
You don't see a difference between a woman meeting a guy and having a no strings sexual encounter and getting naked in the street in front of 25 horny frat boys while someone else videotapes it? Or giving a blow job in a men's bathroom stall to a total stranger? IF you don't see the difference then you really ought to start taking your meds again......
And as for perpetuating the "old school" way of thinking, you do that by repeating that way of thinking, that is called P E R P E T U A T I N G.
Now obviously you agree with it else why would you be repeating it? To directly quote you: "No, because they are sluts and whores. " that isn't a question, you didn't qualify it by saying "because mainstream society thinks they are all...." you stated it....EOS and as for talking out of my ass? You must really like my ass because you keep referring to it.....
You don't see a difference between a woman meeting a guy and having a no strings sexual encounter and getting naked in the street in front of 25 horny frat boys while someone else videotapes it? Or giving a blow job in a men's bathroom stall to a total stranger? IF you don't see the difference then you really ought to start taking your meds again......
And as for perpetuating the "old school" way of thinking, you do that by repeating that way of thinking, that is called P E R P E T U A T I N G.
Now obviously you agree with it else why would you be repeating it? To directly quote you: "No, because they are sluts and whores. " that isn't a question, you didn't qualify it by saying "because mainstream society thinks they are all...." you stated it....EOS and as for talking out of my ass? You must really like my ass because you keep referring to it.....
So basically KWI, you're saying that if anyone likes to do something, then NO one else should have an opinion on it? That society in general has no right to think hey, that's wrong?
I hate to break it to you but society DOES have a right to say "it's wrong" and DOES exercise that right. How? By passing laws against acts they oppose. For eg: a woman getting naked and dancing for a group of frat boys in the middle of the street is illegal. Giving or getting a blow job in a washroom is illegal. Picking up a guy and going back to his or her place ISN'T illegal. See the difference?
As for the guy getting the blow job in the bathroom being a 'stud'...you're mistaken. I know many that would think the guy is a no class asshole.
So, let me ask you something seriously: Do you think that women who give blow jobs in men's bathrooms helps diminish the hypocrasy you've described or reinforces it?
And as for your first paragraph: Aren't you guilty of the same thing? If I disagree or don't totally agree with what YOU have posted according to you "I'm talking out of my ass"??? Now isn't that the pot calling the kettle black........
I hate to break it to you but society DOES have a right to say "it's wrong" and DOES exercise that right. How? By passing laws against acts they oppose. For eg: a woman getting naked and dancing for a group of frat boys in the middle of the street is illegal. Giving or getting a blow job in a washroom is illegal. Picking up a guy and going back to his or her place ISN'T illegal. See the difference?
As for the guy getting the blow job in the bathroom being a 'stud'...you're mistaken. I know many that would think the guy is a no class asshole.
So, let me ask you something seriously: Do you think that women who give blow jobs in men's bathrooms helps diminish the hypocrasy you've described or reinforces it?
And as for your first paragraph: Aren't you guilty of the same thing? If I disagree or don't totally agree with what YOU have posted according to you "I'm talking out of my ass"??? Now isn't that the pot calling the kettle black........
LOL well, see, it doesn't matter whether you like me or not, or whether you want my opinion or not, because, this is a site dedicated to everyone being able to post their own opinion whether you agree or disagree or ???.
So, like I said to Hunter the other day: if you don't like what I post, don't read them! Better yet: if you don't like what I post, block me and you won't ever have to read my posts again!
So, like I said to Hunter the other day: if you don't like what I post, don't read them! Better yet: if you don't like what I post, block me and you won't ever have to read my posts again!
Come on dude. Everyone has a need to be loved but thinking you are in love with the escort you are fucking because she feels good on your dick and looks hot is silly. It shows that you are lacking something meaningful which is a real relationship and are desperate to find love but don't have the emotional willpower to look for it and do what it takes to find it. Therefore what ends up happening is that since it is easy to pay a beautiful girl to like you it because a substitute for love/companionship for those people who haven't learned to interact with women (or have forgot) and can only exist in fantasy land. Fantasy is great but keep it apart from reality - you need both. It is the height of stupidity to proclaim that you are in love with an escort. The truth is that the Wheel desperately needs to work on developing himself and then a relationship with a woman that isn't a cash transaction.fuji said:
Solitaria:
I think you're being a little harsh but that's your perogative.
Just as many others have posted in this thread (and the many others) is that sex is a very intimate act and often that act brings people together who normally wouldn't. One doesn't consciously "decide" who they are going to meet and what their interaction will be like.
Like that old saying goes "you never know when love will hit you and it often hits you when you are least expecting it....".
I think you're being a little harsh but that's your perogative.
Just as many others have posted in this thread (and the many others) is that sex is a very intimate act and often that act brings people together who normally wouldn't. One doesn't consciously "decide" who they are going to meet and what their interaction will be like.
Like that old saying goes "you never know when love will hit you and it often hits you when you are least expecting it....".
