Infatuation / Falling Hard for an SP ...

[Master Muse]

Falling in Love with SP

I have a lovely sugar lady: tall - 5'11" - slender, long haired, educated, 34, lots of easy fun and games. I see her a couple of times per month for a few days each trip in different places around the US as I travel on business.

I fall in love as I get to the airport to visit her; I fall out of love when I get to the airport to come home.

Thus do I have it both ways or so it seems.

Mine is not an SP in the sense of almost any guy who walks in the door but, I pay her an allowance monthly, so it's form over substance. Were I to tell her I was broke, I have no doubt she'd be gone forever.

Try it; fall in love on your way over; out of love on your way bak.

Cheers....

 

[SupahotGavin]

it's probably not love

I have been seeing an SP for quite I while who I really, really like. She's is great in bed, an interesting conversationalist, and has a kind heart. If circumstances were different and I wasn't paying her to be with me I could see me developing more serious feelings for her. But... I am paying her and as a result I am able to realize that this is all somewhat a fanasty world and not real life. It sounds like you haven't been able to make that seperation between what is real and what is not.

At the end of the day I do care about her but I'm not (nor could be given the circumstances) in love.



Gavin.

 

[petitelover]

......and I wasn't paying her to be with me I could see me developing more serious feelings for her. But... I am paying her and as a result I am able to realize that this is all somewhat a fanasty world and not real life.

Gavin.

I think I'll quote from Aristotle, no Plato, no Nietzche, no Kant - - the best philosopher of them all - Sheik - "when money is involved, it ain't love baby" Thanks Sheik - I'll always remember that one!!

 

[ed_v]

Has anyone ever fell completely, and unabashedly, in LOVE with an SP ?

Is it love or is it lust? I think it's very natural to have feelings for someone who gives the attention you crave. It could be your doctor, oral hygenist, massage therapist, house keeper, MPA or SP. I believe that men in general crave attention and confuse attention for attraction. I have seen MPAs and SPs that have left me thinking that they would be open to a relationship with me just because they were affectionate and caring. I have even told them that if I were younger and single I would love to have them as a girlfriend. The answer is always the same, "me too baby". It's all part of the fantasy. But if you feel strongly about it and want to take action, then go for it. Worse case scenario is that she says no, and you move on.

 

[TheWheel]

Guys, Gals ...
I really appreciate the effort a few of you made to reply, honestly, to my question.

Sifting through all the past discussions on this topic, (can you say 'extensive'? - I knew you could) actually helped bide my time ... as I stated, I am completely, and unabashedly in love with this women.

I can also appreciate some of the backhanded pieces of advice I received, in that it reminded me of mistakes I made in the past. Many of the sentiments you guys expressed were true - in the past.

My 'addiction to love' is something I am acutely aware of. As such, I am being perfectly honest with this person, about everything. She is being treated like the heroin(e) she is to my addiction - I am being extremely cautious and careful - emotionally, to not overdose on her. As she is fully aware of her effect on me, she, too, is treating this very carefully.

The short story is, that, with the help of some of the stuff I read here ... I was able to create a situation whereby she called me. In this phone call we made arrangements to meet in the near future.

I am the happiest kid in Canada right now. More than anything in this world, I have learned to believe in the power of love - which may go a long way to explaining my addiction to it ...

But I am also getting to an age, and stage of my life where I have begun to really learn my lessons. Lessons I never took the time to, truly, integrate into my world view. Things like honesty, trust, and faith.

Let all reading this know, without any misconception or misunderstanding - I am looking at this women as my last chance at 'completion', and happiness.

Please, spare the ridicule and negativity and try to find a little courage to wish me well !!

 

[luv4lust]

best wishes i hope it works out for you

 

[gdurham]

if you find an SP that makes you really happy then I am not sure whether it is infatuation rather than love. love is, to me, a very very strong term.

I have seen one particular SP 5-6 times, and I am infatuated with her. she is a wonderful lady and to me seeing her is like a drug. a very good drug. but it is NOT love. I do not really know her at all. Under different circumstances perhaps I would have the oppourtunity to get to know this person, and maybe, just maybe, from there it would form some kind of special relationship. but really, we all have to make sure we understand that lust is not love.

ok, maybe I have had 1 too many drinks for tonight....lol...

 

[Mcluhan]

I've got my own question ....

Has anyone ever fell completely, and unabashedly, in LOVE with an SP ?
Has the infatuation been so severe as to incompacitate you ?

Did you act on it ?

What about SP's ... have you ever had a client succumb to the overwhelming feeling of your presence ? Ever reciprocated ? What are the rules ?

Yes, it has happened to me ... there is an SP whom I have become completely, and unabashedly Infatuated with. I even tell myself I love her ... it is really fucking with my head !

This could actually be a good thread. No, it has never happened to me, but I'm not saying it couldn't happen. SP's of course have a wall around them emotionally, and she sees you as a client. This is far from romantic. Does she look like Julia Roberts by any chance? Do you make her laugh? Send her some flowers..take her out for dinner and a harbour tour boat ride on a full moon night. Get to know her out of character. Stop sleeping with her. See where it goes. You'll have to eventually pop the question... ' Is there someone for you?'

 

[petitelover]

...... I believe that men in general crave attention and confuse attention for attraction. ........... I would love to have them as a girlfriend. The answer is always the same, "me too baby". It's all part of the fantasy. But if you feel strongly about it and want to take action, then go for it. Worse case scenario is that she says no, and you move on.

Well, I must respectfully disagree. Worse case scenario is you spent a lot of money, become emotionally attached and she dumps you when you can't pay her anymore and you become mentally distraught. I agree men love and crave attention from a girl, especially an attractive one. It is about fantasy. That is the key here but you are asking to transition the fantasy world over into the real world. It rarely happens. SP's are about money, plain and simple. To think otherwise is naive. Your last post wants us to wish you well and I do but make certain you have been warned about the pitfalls of falling for a SP. Keep your wallet close in tow and don't lose yourself. If you do, you might not be able to recover.

 

[petitelover]

"I have no intention of meeting any client on the side because just as a client fears the SP is just out for money, I don't want to be used for freebies."

Alexa raises some interesting and honest points. Kudos to her for telling it how it is. Wake up folks, it is a business and SP's are out for money. To be fair, it is no different than anyone's business - it is about the money. The rub here is theirs is a business of emotions and feelings, that is the difference.

Alexa, it is about the money otherwise you would be giving freebies.

 

[jjkrszd]

...Sure, one can fall in love with an escort and she can reciprocate but it's like winning the lottery.

Look. There's an easy solution to all this "falling for an escort" stuff. It goes like this:

1. Take any escort (any one of them) and put them in a pair of fuzzy pink slippers, and a house-coat; tell them not to wear any make-up, and not to fuss over their hair before you arrive...Oh, also -- make sure they do not wear thong underwear, but regular waist highs and a regular bra, and no fake nails, and no pedicure.
   
2. Sit down with them in a kitchen -- not the bedroom -- and have them burn your toast and break the yoke in your egg, as they place your food on a plate (helps if they burn the coffee too).
   
3. Then...have them yak endlessly at you, while you try and eat, about the fact that you don't go out to dinner any more, you never listen to them, and (this is the killer) that they plan to go to Ethan Allan's with the credit card while you're at work -- but, they're not sure yet what they're going to buy!

Buddy, if you still think you love her after that routine...then, frankly -- you do!

 

[Meister]

I was just trying to make a comparison where in the real world, an escort may pretend to like a client to get more $$$ out him aside from just seeing him for an hour once a month or once a year and a client may pretend to want to be involved with an escort in order to get free sex. You don't think clients attempt that?

Why does it always seem that women give it up for a man either as a freebie or in exchange for money, gifts, ....

Why can't we live in a society where women actually want to have sex for the simple reason that it feels good, no secondary motive, no repressed feelings of guilt or shame. I think I'm dreaming again, back to work.

 

[TheWheel]

Hey all, I just lost about 700 words of a reply I had made to many of the helpful comments and insights in this thread ... I hate it when that happens !

I have not the time or patience to re-type it right now, so I'll just thank you again for some of the helpful coments and insights.

Suffice to say, this is a complicated situation with alot of potentialities, both positive and disasterous ... the eternal optimist in me remains resolved to give this a chance ... I hope to have some good news to share in the future.


Thanks again, all.

 

[goalie000]

I've got my own question ....

Has anyone ever fell completely, and unabashedly, in LOVE with an SP ?
Has the infatuation been so severe as to incompacitate you ?

Did you act on it ?

What about SP's ... have you ever had a client succumb to the overwhelming feeling of your presence ? Ever reciprocated ? What are the rules ?

Yes, it has happened to me ... there is an SP whom I have become completely, and unabashedly Infatuated with. I even tell myself I love her ... it is really fucking with my head !

Been there, done that, Got the T shirt, and STILL am seeing the Lady.

 

[fuji]

it is about the money otherwise you would be giving freebies.

Sort of. Nothing is as clear cut as that in real life.

A client who lets his feelings get involved with an SP is probably going to get taken, it's probably just about the money, and the SP is probably just going to clean him out.

An SP who lets her feelings get involved with a client is probably going to get used. He's probably just trying to trick her into giving it away for free and doesn't care about her at all.

That makes it REALLY HARD for either side to trust the other at first, because PROBABLY they're going to get hurt.

On the other hand, every now and then, it's rare, but it happens that the two people really honestly have feelings for one another and there's a real viable relationship possibility. How do you know when it happens? HARD.

After that there are still more issues to sort out, even years later, which are hard to deal with. Some thoughts that will cross minds over the years:

"I could have done better than him, I only settled because at the time I was an SP and it's hard to find a guy who accepts that. Now that I'm not one, I could do better."

"He picked me up when I was an SP. He's willing to date any kind of garbage that looks at him twice."

"She picked me up when I was a john. She's willing to date any kind of garbage that looks at her twice."

"She's not a very good person, she was willing to work as an SP, and that explains why she's doing X today."

"He's not a very good person, he buys sex for money, and that explains why he's doing X today."

"That guy gave her a funny look, I wonder if he fucked her."

"That guy gave me a funny look. I wonder if I fucked him."

"So and so at work knows X, who knows Y, who might know that she used to be an SP, maybe we should avoid that party."

"When I met him he was buying sex from SP's like me... I bet he still is."

"When I met her she was selling sex for money, I wonder if she still is doing that on the side."

I'm sure there's more.

So even if you get past the TOTAL lack of trust at the beginning, you have a hornets nest of issues to deal with. The deck is stacked against you and the dice are loaded.

Still, some people make it, and go on to have happy lives, just because something is hard, unlikely, and probably painful does not mean it doesn't happen.

 

[stang]

Your heart wants her and perhaps her heart wants the same. As I've learned in my life there are very very very few people in this world that make you feel almost 'high' when you are around them and that you crave when you are apart.

To find that is really special and something to be savoured and cherished. Be cautious of course - but to be more cliche without taking a risk ... there can be no reward.

Robynn

Well said.

Hard choice sometimes to take a bold step and possibly loose what you currently have, though in hindsight it may not really be much.

 

[petitelover]

.....I think you will have to clarify the statement you made above: "Wake up folks, it is a business and SP's are out for money." Of course it's a business but the latter statement isn't fair. Out for money in their business or when some of them are pretending to lead clients on? Why should SPs have to apologize for wanting or admitting that they wish to make money? Sometimes I wonder if this is why some escorts lead guys on because maybe they're afraid to admit this? I won't be apologizing for wanting to provide a service and make money anytime soon.

For those who know me, I don't sugarcoat things and I provide a good service to my clients but I am not interested in getting involved personally. I have actually had something good with a client once upon a time where no money was involved and have no regrets about it since he's a great guy. I just won't be doing it again.


I have to respectfully disagree. This is a business of fantasy and eroticism. Not emotions and feelings. That's like confusing love and sex. If a client has to question their emotions and feelings every single time they visit an escort then they are looking for love in all the wrong places. Sure, one can fall in love with an escort and she can reciprocate but it's like winning the lottery.

You asked me to clarify my statement but you got it and I agree with your answer.

Your last comment about fantasy and eroticism versus emotions and feelings is right on point. I stand corrected but submit many gentlemen don't know the difference and confuse what they are supposed to feel.

Alexa, it appears for the most part you and I are on the same page. Thanks for being so honest and telling us guys what SP's really think.

 

[petitelover]

Sort of. Nothing is as clear cut as that in real life.

A client who lets his feelings get involved with an SP is probably going to get taken, it's probably just about the money, and the SP is probably just going to clean him out.

An SP who lets her feelings get involved with a client is probably going to get used. He's probably just trying to trick her into giving it away for free and doesn't care about her at all.

That makes it REALLY HARD for either side to trust the other at first, because PROBABLY they're going to get hurt.

On the other hand, every now and then, it's rare, but it happens that the two people really honestly have feelings for one another and there's a real viable relationship possibility. How do you know when it happens? HARD.

After that there are still more issues to sort out, even years later, which are hard to deal with. Some thoughts that will cross minds over the years:

"I could have done better than him, I only settled because at the time I was an SP and it's hard to find a guy who accepts that. Now that I'm not one, I could do better."

"He picked me up when I was an SP. He's willing to date any kind of garbage that looks at him twice."

"She picked me up when I was a john. She's willing to date any kind of garbage that looks at her twice."

"She's not a very good person, she was willing to work as an SP, and that explains why she's doing X today."

"He's not a very good person, he buys sex for money, and that explains why he's doing X today."

"That guy gave her a funny look, I wonder if he fucked her."

"That guy gave me a funny look. I wonder if I fucked him."

"So and so at work knows X, who knows Y, who might know that she used to be an SP, maybe we should avoid that party."

"When I met him he was buying sex from SP's like me... I bet he still is."

"When I met her she was selling sex for money, I wonder if she still is doing that on the side."

I'm sure there's more.

So even if you get past the TOTAL lack of trust at the beginning, you have a hornets nest of issues to deal with. The deck is stacked against you and the dice are loaded.

Still, some people make it, and go on to have happy lives, just because something is hard, unlikely, and probably painful does not mean it doesn't happen.

All very valid points! My, don't we have a lot of smart people on TERB!

 

[moviefan]

And yet - sometimes - it all works out.

> Dangerous Liaisons - On Relationships in the Industry

Many of the links above seem to be focused on dating or marrying a dancer.

I`m too lazy to look for the links, but there were also some threads at about this time last year on dating/marrying an SP. The threads were started after Janda announced her retirement and marriage plans.

As in many of the links above, the threads on dating or marrying an SP had some cautionary tales, along with some examples where everything had worked out OK.

 

[luv4lust]

Thanks for being so honest and telling us guys what SP's really think.

i don't think she was speaking for all sp's,
for one i can speak for my self. I have dated a client in fact i had to tell him it was ok not to leave me money hidden in my room or pocket.
To each their own if it works out for them great if not i hope they can at least stay friends.
Life is nothing but chances we take if you sit back and don't take them you will most likely end up a lonely bitter person.
If you do take them you might get a few bumps and bruises, but at least you will have lived an adventure and not have to think {what if ?}