Infatuation / Falling Hard for an SP ...

[solitaria]

Welcome to Being Human 101, no need to take notes, since hand outs will be provided. Lesson One: Instinctual Behavior trumps Rationality, or, Why Most People Get Together.

Buddy, instinctual behavior is what gives us the urge to fuck not fall in love. Most people with an ounce of common sense know the difference. Reading your posts you would think that every girl I fucked I would have to fall in love with and that I don't have the intellectual capacity to differentiate between an orgasm and love.

"Real", "meaningful", sound like blinded ideology. By "real" you presumably mean something loaded up with all sorts of value judgements, by "meaningful" you mean something that fits a certain ideological standard. Well I prefer to pay attention to the actual world, rather than the "real" one.

By real I mean you at least know her first name. It's silly to proclaim your love for someone you don't even know. How can you love someone if all the experience you have had with them is her servicing you sexually in a paid for environment? These guys that think they are so in love with escorts have no idea who it is that they are falling in love with.

Here are some ugly facts that beat up on your beautiful theory of relationships: It is possible to be in love with more than one woman. Most relationships that last start out as irrational lust. It is possible to have close, intimate companionship with someone while cheating on them.

Sure it is possible to be in love with more than one woman. I'm saying it is silly to think you are in love with a beautiful woman whom you don't even know that fucks you for money.

Essentially you're saying it's impossible to fall in love with someone if you already have a "real" relationship, and that is sewage. People who are in real relationship fall in love with other people every day.

No that is not what I am saying. I am saying any guy that has a real relationship or has dated at all would probably have the judgemental skills to know that you can't love someone without even knowing the first thing about them and they would probably also understand that the environment that you fuck an escort in is contrived and phoney where she puts up a sexual facade for you to have your fantasy. Basically if you think that is an intimate situation or that it is love it is because your sense of reality has become warped because you have not had enough intimacy in real life situations with women.

We can't help it. We're human,

Yes you can. You can't help having the biological urge to want to fuck beautiful women but that doesn't mean you don't have the ability to ground yourself in reality and deconstruct your feelings to understand on a deeper level what they mean afterwards. Basically it is not that hard to understand being "in love" with a beautiful woman that you only know on a paid for sexual level is infatuation not love.

Developing feelings towards the person you are fucking is the product of a few million years of evolution. You can control yourself when it happens, you can avoid situations that cause it. You can see it coming and dodge the bullet, but you can't help that it will happen sometimes.

You make it sound like love is just a biological instinct. You keep mistaking love for the biological imperative to procreate.

I am not going to respond to the rest because it is just you playing rank amateur psychologist and being defensive probably because you have thought you were in love with a million escorts too.

 

[LordLoki]

LOL and you see nothing insulting about someone saying "you're talking out of your ass"???

Well I guess there are two levels to that question.

1) I see a huge distinction between some one saying you comment are being blown out of your ass and saying she has no class etc. One is about the comments, one is about the person.

2) Based on your tag line ‘rezident smartass’ and some of your posts I can only assume you are either posting things for effect, or you are much less intelligent than you appear. Either way how can you possibly take offence when someone notices a given comment has been blown from your ass?

 

[jjkrszd]

I hope you're not speaking from *direct* experience...

Why?

 

[james t kirk]

You were smart enough to quit. Unfortunately, a lot of guys get in over their heads and want to keep it up. Mortgage the house, car, whatever until they are in way over their head. As I said, this is a business for these women and the more of a spell they can cast upon guys the better it is for their bank account. As cold as that is, it is reality and to think otherwise will only get you in trouble. I concede not all SP's would do this but I would argue most do.

Maybe, but I would argue it's what the guys want.

If you read these boards, a lot of guys are looking for the GFE. Well, if that's what you want, then she is just providing what you are asking for.

As to the topic of the thread, I would think that it is quite possible for 2 people to fall in love as a result of meeting in a professional sense, however, I think that if it were going to happen, that it would happen, that it would be mutual.

I'm not so sure about "announcing" your feelings to her. There would need to be some sort of signs that she is interested in YOU in terms of a full time relationship. Merely announcing, "hey, by the way, I love you" might shock the hell out of her. If she's into you, she's going to be dropping you hints as well - it's human nature. If there's only the session between you two, then odds are good that she's not into you as far as being her BF goes.

It may simply be that she thinks of you as strictly her client and if she was going to have a BF, she would prefer to find one who was never a client, a guy who had NO IDEA that she was in the biz and she would never tell him. On the other hand, that's a dangerous game on her part because it's a small world and eventually, he would find out I am SURE either through the people around her, a chance encounter with a past client, a feeling, or a tearful confession. From that ponit of view, it would make a lot more sense for her to find a guy that already knew what she did and was cool with it. I dunno which would be better for her to tell you the truth.

And then, say she is into you, then what then? Do you demand that she quit the biz because she's with you now? Do you let her continue to work and handle it? That's a tricky road, especially if it's her only form of employment. Do you even have the right since you met her through the biz?

 

[petitelover]

............ It's silly to proclaim your love for someone you don't even know. How can you love someone if all the experience you have had with them is her servicing you sexually in a paid for environment? These guys that think they are so in love with escorts have no idea who it is that they are falling in love with.

I think everyone is getting off topic. Wheel - Solitaria echoes what many are saying. Loki - I hope I don't take this one out of context!

 

[petitelover]

Maybe, but I would argue it's what the guys want.

If you read these boards, a lot of guys are looking for the GFE. Well, if that's what you want, then she is just providing what you are asking for.

As to the topic of the thread, I would think that it is quite possible for 2 people to fall in love as a result of meeting in a professional sense, however, I think that if it were going to happen, that it would happen, that it would be mutual.

I'm not so sure about "announcing" your feelings to her. There would need to be some sort of signs that she is interested in YOU in terms of a full time relationship. Merely announcing, "hey, by the way, I love you" might shock the hell out of her. If she's into you, she's going to be dropping you hints as well - it's human nature. If there's only the session between you two, then odds are good that she's not into you as far as being her BF goes.

It may simply be that she thinks of you as strictly her client and if she was going to have a BF, she would prefer to find one who was never a client, a guy who had NO IDEA that she was in the biz and she would never tell him. On the other hand, that's a dangerous game on her part because it's a small world and eventually, he would find out I am SURE either through the people around her, a chance encounter with a past client, a feeling, or a tearful confession. From that ponit of view, it would make a lot more sense for her to find a guy that already knew what she did and was cool with it. I dunno which would be better for her to tell you the truth.

And then, say she is into you, then what then? Do you demand that she quit the biz because she's with you now? Do you let her continue to work and handle it? That's a tricky road, especially if it's her only form of employment. Do you even have the right since you met her through the biz?

Captain - It is what the guy wants but the same analogy can be made for the drunk who wants more alcohol. It is what he wants but he is going to wake up with a BIG headache! Better to think about it before the need for mega amounts of Advil.

Can't disagree with your other comments. I would like to add most SP's I talk with say they would never date a client. A dancer who I bumped into at Starbucks many many months ago told me she thought guys that go to SC's are losers. I wonder what SP's really think?! I posted a thread if you want to read it.

 

[james t kirk]

Guys, Gals ...
I really appreciate the effort a few of you made to reply, honestly, to my question.

Sifting through all the past discussions on this topic, (can you say 'extensive'? - I knew you could) actually helped bide my time ... as I stated, I am completely, and unabashedly in love with this women.

I can also appreciate some of the backhanded pieces of advice I received, in that it reminded me of mistakes I made in the past. Many of the sentiments you guys expressed were true - in the past.

My 'addiction to love' is something I am acutely aware of. As such, I am being perfectly honest with this person, about everything. She is being treated like the heroin(e) she is to my addiction - I am being extremely cautious and careful - emotionally, to not overdose on her. As she is fully aware of her effect on me, she, too, is treating this very carefully.

The short story is, that, with the help of some of the stuff I read here ... I was able to create a situation whereby she called me. In this phone call we made arrangements to meet in the near future.

I am the happiest kid in Canada right now. More than anything in this world, I have learned to believe in the power of love - which may go a long way to explaining my addiction to it ...

But I am also getting to an age, and stage of my life where I have begun to really learn my lessons. Lessons I never took the time to, truly, integrate into my world view. Things like honesty, trust, and faith.

Let all reading this know, without any misconception or misunderstanding - I am looking at this women as my last chance at 'completion', and happiness.

Please, spare the ridicule and negativity and try to find a little courage to wish me well !!

Look at the bright side buddy, you are capable of love.

SOOO many men out there are not even capable of it. I have a friend whose been married twice. I'll never forget; just before he got married I was riding iwth him in his car and I wasn't getting the warm fuzzy from him, so I asked him point blank, "Do you love her?"

He sort of squirmed a bit in his seat and avoided the question, but I persisted and asked him again, "Do you love her?"

"Yeah, I really like her", was his answer.

"Yeah, but do you love her"

"Fuck man, I love golf" was his shut the fuck up answer I remember.

 

[RTRD]

I read all that...

Guys, Gals ...
I really appreciate the effort a few of you made to reply, honestly, to my question.

Sifting through all the past discussions on this topic, (can you say 'extensive'? - I knew you could) actually helped bide my time ... as I stated, I am completely, and unabashedly in love with this women.

I can also appreciate some of the backhanded pieces of advice I received, in that it reminded me of mistakes I made in the past. Many of the sentiments you guys expressed were true - in the past.

My 'addiction to love' is something I am acutely aware of. As such, I am being perfectly honest with this person, about everything. She is being treated like the heroin(e) she is to my addiction - I am being extremely cautious and careful - emotionally, to not overdose on her. As she is fully aware of her effect on me, she, too, is treating this very carefully.

The short story is, that, with the help of some of the stuff I read here ... I was able to create a situation whereby she called me. In this phone call we made arrangements to meet in the near future.

I am the happiest kid in Canada right now. More than anything in this world, I have learned to believe in the power of love - which may go a long way to explaining my addiction to it ...

But I am also getting to an age, and stage of my life where I have begun to really learn my lessons. Lessons I never took the time to, truly, integrate into my world view. Things like honesty, trust, and faith.

Let all reading this know, without any misconception or misunderstanding - I am looking at this women as my last chance at 'completion', and happiness.

Please, spare the ridicule and negativity and try to find a little courage to wish me well !!

...and I didn't see the part where he said money has stopped changing hands.

 

[james t kirk]

A dancer who I bumped into at Starbucks many many months ago told me she thought guys that go to SC's are losers. I wonder what SP's really think?!

That's just a defence mechanism on her part frankly in relation to what she is doing.

 

[RTRD]

We do...

Why can't we live in a society where women actually want to have sex for the simple reason that it feels good, no secondary motive, no repressed feelings of guilt or shame. I think I'm dreaming again, back to work.

...but such women just (typically) aren't sex workers, and don't hang out on TERB.

I am dating two of them now in fact...

NOTE: This does assume by "secondary motive" you are not including "like you a lot and want to continue to spend time with you".

 

[petitelover]

That`s just a defence mechanism on her part frankly in relation to what she is doing.

https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=103637

It was more than a many months ago - 12/2005 - wow, time goes by fast.

 

[rip_hymen]

I've never fallen in love with an SP but I did begin to develop feelings for one.

 

[RTRD]

The difference between these scnerios...

I see a huge confusion here between cash flow and love. So let me make it even more confusing. Here are 2 questions that might generate some interesting conversations….

1) I have a friend whose wife has been diagnosed as terminal. Looks like he will spend a few hundred thousand a year for the next little while with 24/7 home nursing, specialists, etc. Of course the old social medical system would take care of her, but just not in an acceptable way. So simply put… he is paying a lot of $ for her. Granted sex may not be an issue, but money is flowing. So since money is flowing, does that mean love is impossible?

2) Another friend took in a foster child and eventually paid her way through university, even gave her an allowance. Granted sex may not be an issue, but money is flowing. . So since money is flowing, does that mean love is impossible?

3) So if you accept a longish term relationship with a SP, and subsidize her living expenses, even paying her way through school….. Would seem money is really not the primary issue. So what is?

...is "need" versus "want", and the ability to provide for oneself.

Example 1) is someone who NEEDS that support

Example 2) is someone who probably could not provide that suppor to themselves

Example 3) Is someone who simply found an easier way to do something they could do for themselves more than likely...

Now, that does NOT mean the persons from example 3) do not love each other...it just means it is unlikely as hell, given the initial nature of the relationship

 

[canada-man]

since this thread is about falling in love with escorts

one i regularly visit buy me stuff this week i am planning to give her something. and i have feelings for her

 

[enduser1]

...but such women just (typically) aren't sex workers, and don't hang out on TERB.

I am dating two of them now in fact...

Hi MLAM,

It is good to see a real cocksman posting once again on TERB.

EU

 

[LordLoki]

I think everyone is getting off topic. Wheel - Solitaria echoes what many are saying. Loki - I hope I don't take this one out of context!

Nope agree completely. Would even go so far as saying

1) if only 1 of the 2 people in a relationship is in love it will be a huge failure. And a guy loving a woman is nice but only a small part of the equation.

2) you cannot even tell if you actually have deap feelings towards a woman until you wake up with her beside you a few times, share at least some of their dreams, go shopping for clothing with them, visit a hardware store with them, and see them in running shoes without make up and still think they are cute and adorable. Of course that is just a personal opinion.

3) I am not sure about the previous post on fuzzy slippers. I find the image oddly disturbing.

 

[canada-man]

since this thread is about falling in love with escorts

one i regularly visit buy me stuff this week i am planning to give her something. and i have feelings for her

and we were talking about me taking her out(we already have each other's cell phone #)

 

[LordLoki]

and we were talking about me taking her out(we already have each other's cell phone #)

Well having feelings is a good thing. Based on the survey earlier this month it seems that about 1/3 of the people responding to the survey wish to see one special woman all or most of the time. That translates as having feelings.

Secret in life is to walk in with your eyes wide open. So far I have only met a few of TERB’s ladies, but they have impressed me. Must admit I am becoming very fond of one of them. So welcome to the “I have feelings” club.

 

[canada-man]

Get real !

To think that an SP/MP would fall in love with a client I don't think is possible. Never pay for a womans attention if you are looking for love/friendship /marriage/hand job.etc.

Who cares if the cashier at a coffee shop or the grocery is hot ! Let them do thier job. Thank you have a nice day. Thats what they are bieng PAYED for. Isn't it ?

Nothing personal, its just business.

what if the SP buy you gifts?

 

[LordLoki]

the chameleon factor

what if the SP buy you gifts?

gifts can be bread thrown on the water, or 'thank you's either way enjoy them.

The lady I am seeing is an incredibly gifted chameleon and I am certain that every man she is with sees a different creature. What is she thinking? How much is motivated by $ and how much by genuine affection? Hey I like her because she is a chameleon. I can barely read civilians. If I read her to well it might ruin a lovely experience.

Obviously I know she is an SP but she is also an incredibly bright and fun lady. I rather enjoy the idea that our relationship is business + a little. I see no reason to assume it is not.

I know it is exceptionally rewarding for me, and I hope she is having a little fun as well. Life is good. Why worry?

If you are having a similar experience, enjoy. Best set a monthly budget before you get to involved and carve that amount into a few stones in your back yard though. I can see how easily this could get out of hand.

If she gives you little some things to show you are more than just a pure client great. I suspect SPs have a right to like a few of us. Some sort of a clause in the giant SP bible/handbook.

Surprise surprise they are people first and SPs second.

On the other hand, until she hands you back the envelope and say “This is not required” I suspect you can assume it is required.

When I was a young my grandfather had a pet wolf. Well semi pet / semi wild. It would run in from the forest every day at noon to be fed. Grandfather was incredibly consistent in the feeding. Would interrupt almost anything to feed it. I asked once about why he did that. He said having a wolf as a friend was wonderful. But all wonderful things came with a cost. Grandfather had an accident eventually. Was in the hospital for a few weeks. Wolf came every day at noon but no one was there to feed him. When he came back he could not walk but would sit in a chair on the porch. Took a while till grandfather could feed him again, but wolf still came just to visit. After a while I asked him about the wolf again.

He said having a wolf as a friend was wonderful, and maybe having a man as a friend was wonderful But all wonderful things came with a cost. He just was not sure what the cost was anymore.

I think maybe I can understand feeling that way towards an SP. Do I really care where business ends and friendship starts? Of course some people do not want a wolf as a friend.

So if all you want is a fuck, more power to you. If you want to pretend the wolf’s visit has nothing to do with the food, more power to you. If you want to invest time and energy and are worthy to turn a wolf into a friend, more power to you.

See what happens when I drink cognac? I get philosophical!

But I do like my wolf.