I called the...

Called my IT specialist re frozen screen, he gave me a re boot.
 
Called the septic tank pumping company, told me I was full of shit.
 
Called the window glass repair company told him I needed a front window replaced, his eyes glazed over.
 
Bought a new Maytag refrigerator. Had some problems with it. Called the repair centre and the guy asked me if the refrigerator was running. I took a look and told him "no, its still in the same corner its always been in".
 
Whats that..I cu*t hear you, got a fucktion problem with my ear, tits alright though but bear ass me again
 
Called the meteorologist, asked if the weather would be good for a wedding. He said the forecast calls for pain.
 
Called City Hall, asked to speak with the mayor.

They put a clown on the phone.