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God is my friend - He made me Pope.

All right. Let me straighten out this whole thing. First, I granted your PM an indulgence to do what he did. Secondly, I instructed the priest to "deconsecrate" the host that was given to the PM, so the corpus christi was never desecrated. The whole point of this exercise was to get people...

No - anything the Big Guy has to say passes through my office.

All true. But the beauty of our strategy is that no one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition.

I just love it when everyone is talking about ME !!! I never thought being Pope would be this much fun.

I'm Catholic. It's kind of hard being Pope without being Catholic. I partake in the 7 holy sacraments (lap dance, Breast sucking, HJ, BJ, DATY, FS, Climax) as often as I can. I grant myself absolution every time I log off of terb.

You'll have to book in advance; and pay my fee.

The secret will be out soon enough anyway. I might as well give terb members advance notice. The Vatican pulls ALL the strings. Every last one of them. Bow before Rome.

Yes that is how it works. But the fun part is that I get to decide when I'm speaking "ex-cathedra".

Polish babes are outstanding. JPII and I used to shoot the shit about his time in Poland. He could have any babe he wanted. In those days the priest was a babe magnet, not only for his power and influence, but after doing the deed he could give the girl absolution on the spot. If she shagged her...

If you're OK with celibacy, and aren't into buggering boys, we're accepting applications. And you get free bread and wine on the job.

The buggery issue has been solved. No more buggery; no more buggers. No one has really used the infallibility powers for a long time. I certainly haven't. Infallibility only extends to matters of faith and morals while speaking ex cathedra. Since doctrine is pretty much settled, the power...

That's the problem with you Americans. You should forget about the Reverend Wright and the Reverend Jesse Jackson and the Reverend Al Sharpton and John Hagee and all of the other reverends. You should be listening to me instead; or if I'm too foreign, we have a few archbishops in the USA you...

Ha! Who do you think is sending thost faxes from "Jesus"?? :)

Back in the 1960s we used the subs, but we're more sophisticated now. We use Opus Dei today. Opus Dei is in the GOP, the Democratic Party, and even here on Terb. You can run but you can't hide. I'm everywhere.

I just keep mine in the Papal vaults. Perhaps a safety deposit box would suit your needs. Or else you could rent a garden plot and bury the envelope.

I work in Rome (the Vatican actually), where I'm head of a large religious/political organization. I get to wear funny clothes and hats. I can travel the world. People listen to what I have to say. It's a little hard to hobby incognito. I can't quit or retire until I die.

The former Cardinal wears many faces, speaks many tongues and reserves many surprises.

Infallibility only attaches when speaking ex cathedra. To date posts on TERB are not ex cathedra. May you find fulfilment and attain your goal.

Ever hear of the Panzer Cardinal?