Very Ominous

[thumper18474]

I was bored last night ...so I called Best Western Hotel..and when they answered and said
Best Western...I said Fist full of Dollars with Clint Eastwood......and hung up

 

[SchlongConery]

I just heard a woodpecker call me paranoid in morse code.

 

[thumper18474]

Scientists got bored watching the earth go around for 24 hrs....
So they called it a day

 

[SchlongConery]

To start a Zoo..
You need
2 pandas
1grizzly
And 3 polars..
That's the bear minimum

Speaking of zoos. I went to a Miniature Dog Zoo.

It was a shitzu

 

[thumper18474]

Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler
So the neighbors think I'm a stud when they hear her breathing heavy and yelling..
GIVE IT TO ME!

 

[thumper18474]

This morning I decided to be more active in my life..
So I ran around the block 5 times before breakfast..then I picked it up and put it back in the toy box before someone stepped on it...

 

[SchlongConery]

I eat more pussy than a Haitian immigrant!

 

[SchlongConery]

I always said Haitians make the best hot dogs!

 

[thumper18474]

I accidently sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning..Now when I talk I have a weird
Axe scent!

 

[thumper18474]

Before Mount Rushmore was carved
It's beauty was unpresidented

 

[NHFL]

Before Mount Rushmore was carved
It's beauty was unpresidented

Let's hope its beauty is never Trumped.

 

[SchlongConery]

There’s a guy I hate and whose mother is a mathematician. A real sum of a bitch.

 

[SchlongConery]

I thought I was onto a winner when the Mrs got dressed up in her dominatrix gear. She said "tell me what a bad boy you've been"

I said "I've been fucking your sister"

Anyway, I'm writing this from the ER….

 

[NHFL]

There’s a guy I hate and whose mother is a mathematician. A real sum of a bitch.

Sounds like you and he are bitter exponents.

 

[countd]

I started a night club for men with erectile dysfunction. It was a total flop, nobody came!

 

[thumper18474]

Is it true..that people who bleach their buttholes are changing their ring tones?

 

[kherg007]

Sounds like you and he are bitter exponents.

Hmm that pun didn't add up.

 

[NHFL]

Hmm that pun didn't add up.

It was a calculated risk

 

[kherg007]

It was a calculated risk

I reckon that comment sums it up.

 

[NHFL]

I reckon that comment sums it up.

Indeed, it sums up in equality.