Time for some laughter? Please share yours...
- Thread starter Kusa
- Start date
A wife texts her husband on a cold winter morning, “Windows frozen, won’t open.” The husband texts back, “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and tap the edges with a hammer.” The wife texts back five minutes later, “Computer really messed up now.”
She: “Honey, I don’t like you with the new glasses on.”
He: “But sweetheart, I don’t wear any glasses.”
She: “True, but I do.”
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Honey bee!
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a beer!
Police Inspector: Why didn’t you report your stolen credit card?
Husband: The thief was spending less than my wife.
Inspector: Then why are you reporting it now?
Husband: I think now the thief’s wife has started using it
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes. She fantasizes about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
She: “Honey, I don’t like you with the new glasses on.”
He: “But sweetheart, I don’t wear any glasses.”
She: “True, but I do.”
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Honey bee!
Honey bee who?
Honey bee a dear and get me a beer!
Police Inspector: Why didn’t you report your stolen credit card?
Husband: The thief was spending less than my wife.
Inspector: Then why are you reporting it now?
Husband: I think now the thief’s wife has started using it
I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me. She said yes. She fantasizes about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
That's not even that wrong.
The orignial logo is a mermaid holding her "fins" wide like that.
I make computer fonts as a hobby.
This hobby costs me nothing to do. I can do it without leaving the house. I can do it at any time of the day or night. I can do it for fifteen minutes when I have nothing better to do, or I can do it for fifteen hours in a row. I can stop doing it for an extended period of time, then resume right where I left off. I only need to use one hand to do it. I could also make some money, if I post my finished work online.
The only other hobby that I can think of which meets all of those conditions is rubbing one out.
This hobby costs me nothing to do. I can do it without leaving the house. I can do it at any time of the day or night. I can do it for fifteen minutes when I have nothing better to do, or I can do it for fifteen hours in a row. I can stop doing it for an extended period of time, then resume right where I left off. I only need to use one hand to do it. I could also make some money, if I post my finished work online.
The only other hobby that I can think of which meets all of those conditions is rubbing one out.
It's really difficult to have a conversation with an Escort when she's giving you a blow job, because she can only say things like "glug" and "kuh", and you're not going to understand, unless you're a dentist.
OMFG! This uncle and nephew are so fucking hilarious! The nephew's laugh is so infectious and the wit and lip of his uncle is so fucking sharp!
I'm going to post a few of their shorts but you really gotta check out their channel!
I'm going to post a few of their shorts but you really gotta check out their channel!
Left-click the link to watch online. Right-click -> 'save link as...' to download.
This story was told to me by Wayne Vansant, a comic book artist who specializes in war comics.
Wayne was driving on a dirt road in rural Georgia, looking for the home of a friend of his. He spotted a local, and asked for directions to so-and-so's home. The man told him to continue on the road for about a mile, then turn left just past a tire he would see by the side of the road.
Wayne drove for five miles, but didn't see a tire, so he turned around, and drove back. After about four miles, he noticed a water tower beside the road, and he turned right just before it, and was at his friend's house in about a minute.
On the way back home, he saw the local man again, thanked him for the directions, but told him that he had been looking for a tower, not a tire, and Wayne pointed to one of the tires on his car. The local became very angry, and told Wayne "Ah dident say tar !".
Wayne was driving on a dirt road in rural Georgia, looking for the home of a friend of his. He spotted a local, and asked for directions to so-and-so's home. The man told him to continue on the road for about a mile, then turn left just past a tire he would see by the side of the road.
Wayne drove for five miles, but didn't see a tire, so he turned around, and drove back. After about four miles, he noticed a water tower beside the road, and he turned right just before it, and was at his friend's house in about a minute.
On the way back home, he saw the local man again, thanked him for the directions, but told him that he had been looking for a tower, not a tire, and Wayne pointed to one of the tires on his car. The local became very angry, and told Wayne "Ah dident say tar !".
