men in toronto do not pick up enough

[The Houdini]

LOL yeah, which is why I said go after the A list hotties because if you're going to get turned down by someone like I described, then you might as well get shot down by someone out of your league lol

i don't agree with that concept at all. Go for some c's and see the reaction. If you always go for A's you're bound to have your ego bashed. And that's when you don't have the mojo to approach any female.

It's all about confidence at the end of the day.

 

[tboy]

i don't agree with that concept at all. Go for some c's and see the reaction. If you always go for A's you're bound to have your ego bashed. And that's when you don't have the mojo to approach any female.

It's all about confidence at the end of the day.

Well, believe me my friend, I have and frankly, the A list hotties are often more polite than the D E F notties........

 

[RTRD]

There

ok... so guys are tired of Toronto women and their bullshit so they dont bother...and women are tired of waiting for local guys to approach them?


I tell ya theres a disconnect somewhere....

...absolutely is.

Here is the disconnect:

1) Many...if not most (and certainly within a population sample of men who value physicality so much they are prepared to pay for it) men have a distorted idea of how attractive they are. Not just genetics...which actually women tend to care less about than men. Just how they carry themselves. Accordingly, they play out of their league. THEY think that at age 47, 27 year old females should still think them hot. Newsflash - they don't.

2) These same guys, even when they play in their league, have an attitude that reeks of both condescension and misogyny. They think women of their same demographic age and looks wise should be GRATEFUL that they approach them...or, as some have suggested, these women should do the approaching. They feel like they needed do anything to make themselves more appealing...not dress more fashionably, not learn how to speak to women, not even bother to learn how to manage a date. They believe since they have a penis, and the woman they are speaking to is heterosexual, the connection should just HAPPEN. They think women are picky - yet these are the same guys who find flaw in 80% of women they see. her butt is too big. Her tits are to small. She is 15 lbs overweight. She has wrinkles (like many 40 year old women don't).

Combine these two things and you have a lot of men who simply sit on the sidelines with a sense of entitlement, totally amazed that women aren't killing themselves to hook up with them. Add the distortion of "the hobby", where men find themselves having sex with women who in the real world wouldn't even notice they are alive, and there you go...one side thinks all Toronto women are stuck up, while the other side has to juggle women.

 

[RTRD]

Not to EVEN want to start any shit...

I agree...I have no problem giving subtle hints - a smile or a couple of seconds of eye contact. For fear of sounding conceited, I get approached a LOT. But I think it's because when I'm out (whether it's at a bar or the grocery store), I'm very friendly - I smile a lot and talk to people and thus I'm probably viewed as very approachable.

To Maya, I'm no expert, but I think a lot of women subconsciously send out "don't approach me" vibes despite the fact that they want to be approached. Maybe they don't want to appear 'easy' or as a flirt. Maybe you are unknowingly doing this? Or maybe there's somthing about you that intimidates guys...who knows?

...but didn't you recently complain that you also were approached more frequently than you'd like by men who assumed you were a sex worker?

Me thinks the two are related....

 

[Aardvark154]

The guys that women mostly settle down with are usually the nice and genuine guys who have been introduced via friends, coworkers or ?? Not the random pickup.

You're absolutely right and part of that is that he doesn't have to break the ice with a total stranger who's looking at him through the lenses of "is this guy some type of sexual predator/looser" and whom he knows is looking at him through those lenses.

 

[RTRD]

I know you meant that as a joke...

What I say to Maya and all the other ladies who complain about men not approaching them is tell us where you'll be and we'll show up to talk to you. Right Terbites!

...but at its core, this is the problem. Many of you guys want a short cut.

THERE IS NONE.

Unless your shit does not stink, you will face rejection. GET OVER IT.

If every woman you passed on the street approached you, you'd probably reject at least 50% as well. I do agree that women are probably more picky than men...but only slightly so. The real issue is that men dont' understand or accept that women just simply thinking differently. For you, it is nothing more really than how she looks. For her, it is in the approach. That doesn't mean you have to be a pick up artist...it just means you have to be personable, and have confidence. And if it doesn't go well...it doesn't. No big deal.

Fuck...sigh...I do it all the time. I will see a woman...someone who'd be my type (and in the spirit of full disclosure...my type might be different than most of you guys...I HATE the young and skinny and perfect hair / make up / bag / shoes look. HATE IT) and I just strike up a conversation. Sometimes I do it JUST to show the guys I am with that it is possible. Grocery store....IKEA...bookstore....waitress....bank tellers. Just say HELLO!

 

[RTRD]

Then...

See that's the difference: there's first impressions then there's lasting impressions. One can't be both. Women tend to go with FIRST impressions.....and then complain cuz they don't last.......

...learn to make better first impressions and stop bitching and moaning...

Like guys don't' go with first impressions...as in "I'd like to impress my cock between her thighs"

Women value things different than men do. That is the way it is. Either deal with it, or continue to overcome that gap in expectations with money...

 

[rama putri]

why is it you men don't make a move more often?

Toronto men are use to Toronto women. Toronto women are some of the most unfriendly, cold and cautious women in the world. That's why.

 

[tboy]

...learn to make better first impressions and stop bitching and moaning...

Like guys don't' go with first impressions...as in "I'd like to impress my cock between her thighs"

Women value things different than men do. That is the way it is. Either deal with it, or continue to overcome that gap in expectations with money...

Hmmm so let me ask you: if you're all that and a bag of chips and have the answer to everything, what are you doing here?

Is it that you get off paying for something that you can get for free?

I've been pretty polite through this whole thread, might you be the same?

For the record: I'm not bitching and moaning, just discussing the facts of dating life in toronto from my perspective.

 

[tboy]

Toronto men are use to Toronto women. Toronto women are some of the most unfriendly, cold and cautious women in the world. That's why.

Be careful, Mlam is going to come down on you for Bitching and moaning....

(I still wonder why he's on an escort board if he's all that and a bag of chips?)

 

[RTRD]

I'm here...

Hmmm so let me ask you: if you're all that and a bag of chips and have the answer to everything, what are you doing here?

Is it that you get off paying for something that you can get for free?

I've been pretty polite through this whole thread, might you be the same?

For the record: I'm not bitching and moaning, just discussing the facts of dating life in toronto from my perspective.

...because I like to call you on your shit. Because it amuses me.

And...technically speaking...lol...(gawd...I bet you guys would LOVE to hear the story) I STILL haven't paid for it....at least not all of it.

And yes, you are DEFINITELY bitching and moaning....all of TERB knows you have an axe to grind with women, and are just so beside yourself that they don't approach you, especially given that you are an amazing example of all that any woman would desire....

 

[Mongrel4u]

I think your a little one sided here

...absolutely is.

Here is the disconnect:

1) Many...if not most (and certainly within a population sample of men who value physicality so much they are prepared to pay for it) men have a distorted idea of how attractive they are. Not just genetics...which actually women tend to care less about than men. Just how they carry themselves. Accordingly, they play out of their league. THEY think that at age 47, 27 year old females should still think them hot. Newsflash - they don't.

Sure some guys may be like this... but I believe this is more of a female problem. Many and I mean many women walk up and down as if they are hotter than they are...more so than men from what I've seen. .... women that are barely passable (from a looks AND attitude standpoint) behave like they are the cats ass ....Its almost comical

2) These same guys, even when they play in their league, have an attitude that reeks of both condescension and misogyny. They think women of their same demographic age and looks wise should be GRATEFUL that they approach them...or, as some have suggested, these women should do the approaching. They feel like they needed do anything to make themselves more appealing...not dress more fashionably, not learn how to speak to women, not even bother to learn how to manage a date. They believe since they have a penis, and the woman they are speaking to is heterosexual, the connection should just HAPPEN. They think women are picky - yet these are the same guys who find flaw in 80% of women they see. her butt is too big. Her tits are to small. She is 15 lbs overweight. She has wrinkles (like many 40 year old women don't).

Now this one I really dont agree with.

Yes few men may be misogynistic. But the women are the ones that are winning this "gender war" not us. A male even thinks of coming off like that and hes out in the cold with nobody to defend him (not that I think he should be defended)...we are the ones that have to tip toe around every little thing with women...not the other way around.

And because of that Women are the ones that try to play off this "its a privilege to even be seen with me attitude"...combine that with the fact that alot of silly guys will conform to this silly belief and you get a monster on your hands...its gone straight to their head.

 

[RTRD]

Response(s)

Many and I mean many women walk up and down as if they are hotter than they are...

Agreed. I don't bother with them. Like I said, I don't do the whole perfect make up / purse / shoes / hair with a little rat ass excuse for a dog on leash thing. I deal with WOMEN...not "girls".

Yes few men may be misogynistic. But the women are the ones that are winning this "gender war" not us.

There is no war. If you think there is, that could be the problem.

People...all people...with exceptions individually...want to be liked, and spend time with someone nice. Just because that person doesn't think YOU are the one doesn't make them bad..

And because of that Women are the ones that try to play off this "its a privilege to even be seen with me attitude"...

Again, I agree some are like this. I don't' bother with them.

Some guys are like this too, BTW...

 

[rama putri]

Be careful, Mlam is going to come down on you for Bitching and moaning....

I'm not bitching and moaning, I'm just telling as I see it as an explanation to the original question.

 

[Noir]

I too have the same question Maya! I know that I don't walk around with a huge smile on my face (only because I never used to smile a lot when I was in my teens - bad teeth lol..) but I know that I am very friendly and courteous when people do talk to me. I always have a smile (unless they are scary) and I'm very animated because it doesn't happen very often! Haha... I know that I don't have a frightening appearance - heck, plenty of older ladies approach me to ask me for directions, or for help with bags or just to strike up a conversation so, what the hell is wrong with men in this city? I always have old black men, 14 year olds, high-rastafari, or 'Be-My-African-Goddess' types approaching me - I kid you not. I have to beat them off with a stick

I am old fashioned as well, and do very well when men approach me however, the thought of me approaching a guy is.... frightening almost? lol.... I am quite shy and really would have no damned idea what to say when I approach a guy. Heck, when I read Tboy's post about approaching guys, I tried to replicate a conversation in my head in which I would approach a guy.

Noir: "Hi, I'm Noir nice to meet you"
Man: "Hi, how are you Noir?"
Noir: "Not too shabby, yourself?"
Man: "I'm having a lovely day."
DEAD PAN AWKWARD SILENCE
Noir: "Ah...well... it was nice meeting you" *Sweating with nervous smile*

I have no damned idea what to say! lol.... (Approaching ladies is a different story. ^_-)

So to conclude my rant...Please men of Toronto - I'm begging you! Chat it up with the single ladies! Some of them need you too.

 

[rama putri]

Another problem is men and women don't date in Toronto. It's right away to BF and GF or nothing at all. No one gets the concept.

And what is it with groups?

Plus Toronto men are cheap as dirt. This leads to Toronto women being cautious and pessimistic.

Lots of conflicting factors.

 

[tboy]

...because I like to call you on your shit. Because it amuses me.

And...technically speaking...lol...(gawd...I bet you guys would LOVE to hear the story) I STILL haven't paid for it....at least not all of it.

And yes, you are DEFINITELY bitching and moaning....all of TERB knows you have an axe to grind with women, and are just so beside yourself that they don't approach you, especially given that you are an amazing example of all that any woman would desire....

So you just admitted that other than your rants and tirades you really haven't and don't contribute to the general premise of this site?

And yeah, simple minds are amused easily aren't they?

 

[Noir]

If you want the goods on women, go to the source, cab drivers, I've gotton to know one quite well and he says women will spill everything to him, ask him where they can meet guys, some are desperate.

*shudder*

That just reminded me of this VERY persistent cab driver that I had a while back. He was asking me for my phone number and I kept politely declining through out the drive. We arrived at where I needed to be, and I paid my fare. At this point he was still asking me for my number, withholding my change and kept the doors locked. I really didn't need the aggravation or the change so I was still politely declining and gathering up all of my belongings and started to unlock the door. He locked it and starting BEGGING me to give him a chance to give him my number or to take his down so that we could go on a date. This situation went on for another 45 secs (I'd unlock, he'd lock....) or so till I managed to unlock the door and open it before he could lock the door again. THE NERVE of that cabby!

 

[Mongrel4u]

There is no war. If you think there is, that could be the problem.

I dont think theres a war either...thats why I put it in quotations.... but there is definitely a shift.

Just because that person doesn't think YOU are the one doesn't make them bad..

No it doesnt... but the unnecessary rude attitude does; and that I have seen many times

 

[Blue_eyes_TO]

As someone who has met Celest in a public setting, not only in her private setting, i would say that she would be fairly intimidating to walk up to. Maybe it is just me, but i don't think i could walk up to her and start talking.
She is very striking. I haven't seen Maya or Sierra but if your style is anything like Celest and you were all out walking...i would stare, but just watch you all walk by...LOL Way to intimidating. Even 1 - 1 it was intimadating, but with the 3 of you....never.