Lend your advice please.

[Elmore Scruggs]

Don't blame escorts for not being open about their occupation, they're making an honest living within the existing hypocritical structure of society.
Don't expect them to tell boyfriends about their secret lives. This could easily backfire on them even if he's a nice guy - all for what might be a short-term career choice.

 

[TeasePlease]

You have to be kidding me. Where did I say that all sex workers share my opinion? I said to LISTEN TO THE ONES IN THIS THREAD.

You are framing this later in the thread as though you need to warn your good pal about this safety hazard of a sex working girlfriend he has. If this was a good friend of yours, you wouldn't be thinking about "PLUGGING" the sex worker you found out was his girlfriend.

LMAO. That is true. Friends don't plug friend's GF? LOL.

Obviously we can't generalize. As I said, one of my closest friends was outed herself...yet her immediate reaction in this situation was that she would tell the guy. I've known MPAs who kept their jobs completely secret from their SOs, and I've known MPAs who quit their job when they met someone special because they couldn't bear to work in the biz while in a relationship. Whatever allows you to sleep at night....

 

[GPIDEAL]

Keep an open mind GPI is a long time friend of Muse/MPA.

it all makes sense

No gentlemen. You're not paying attention, and making up silly excuses for not understanding my POV. I saw the boss' son's long time GF with another guy but kept my mouth shut based an another buddy's advice. He said we don't know what's going on and better to MYOB. As it turned out, that was the right decision.

Besides, I don't necessarily agree with Emily that it's "just a job" all of the time. Another point perhaps that's made if not implied, is that it's sex and not love. However, that may be too much for most male egos. Personally, I'm not sure if I could take being attached to an SP or sex worker even though I'm pretty open-minded and have been to swinger clubs and shared the women I was with.

I'm not saying you guys are wrong BUT based on my own experience, MYOB was the right choice.

 

[TeasePlease]

Don't blame escorts for not being open about their occupation, they're making an honest living within the existing hypocritical structure of society.
Don't expect them to tell boyfriends about their secret lives. This could easily backfire on them even if he's a nice guy - all for what might be a short-term career choice.

Completely disagree. If its a choice you freely make, you should also accept full responsibility for the consequences. It's called being an adult.

 

[Elmore Scruggs]

Completely disagree. If its a choice you freely make, you should also accept full responsibility for the consequences. It's called being an adult.

When should an escort tell a new boyfriend about her career choice? On the first date?

 

[GPIDEAL]

You have to be kidding me. Where did I say that all sex workers share my opinion? I said to LISTEN TO THE ONES IN THIS THREAD.

You are framing this later in the thread as though you need to warn your good pal about this safety hazard of a sex working girlfriend he has. If this was a good friend of yours, you wouldn't be thinking about "PLUGGING" the sex worker you found out was his girlfriend.

Touche. There's an unwritten rule that a guy should never 'plug' his friend's SO or GF, no matter how much she wants him to. Apparently, the OP applies a different standard to call girls. Judgmental perhaps.

 

[TeasePlease]

When should an escort tell a new boyfriend about her career choice? On the first date?

It depends. If he takes her for lobster, yes. KFC, no.

Assuming that he does not become her "boyfriend" on the first date, obviously not. But it's a difficult question and I don't have an answer.

 

[sheri.valente]

I have a guy I know, knowingly beats up on girls. ... big time piece of shit. some rumors of rape too that I don't doubt.

You can be sure that I've let any and all girl(friends) I know that I've seen him with, to watch out.

I'd welcome him wanting to fight me buy that's another story. I've called people out I know yeah if it involves the safety of others.

I care about the overall well being of people..

That's the issue. I care for the girls well being too, and my friends. My friend a little more so, but that doesn't mean I want to start shit in the girls life.

Okay, and that's admirable...but again, that involves the guy doing something wrong. In an exact 1:1 scenario, with the genders switched and the friend's partner instead being a client...would you out him?

 

[TeasePlease]

Okay, and that's admirable...but again, that involves the guy doing something wrong.

Can we agree that not everyone believes that prostitution is ok? If so, would you agree that each person should be allowed to make his/her own decision in terms of what is and is not acceptable?

 

[sheri.valente]

Can we agree that not everyone believes that prostitution is ok? If so, would you agree that each person should be allowed to make his/her own decision in terms of what is and is not acceptable?

I don't agree that prostitution (either as an SP or a client) is anywhere on the same level as beating up women and rape. Everyone seems to be avoiding the question - if it were the EXACT SAME SCENARIO, but with a client instead of an SP, would you even consider saying anything?

 

[Elmore Scruggs]

Can we agree that not everyone believes that prostitution is ok? If so, would you agree that each person should be allowed to make his/her own decision in terms of what is and is not acceptable?

Yes, and that's why you should allow an escort to make their own decision on when or who she confides about her career. It's not up to anyone else. Don't say she isn't an adult for choosing to remain private.

 

[GPIDEAL]

LMAO. That is true. Friends don't plug friend's GF? LOL.

Obviously we can't generalize. As I said, one of my closest friends was outed herself...yet her immediate reaction in this situation was that she would tell the guy. I've known MPAs who kept their jobs completely secret from their SOs, and I've known MPAs who quit their job when they met someone special because they couldn't bear to work in the biz while in a relationship. Whatever allows you to sleep at night....

I agree.

I know an SP who's unhappily married but won't be the one to leave. She's happy with a client but he doesn't get too close because she remains attached. At the end of the day, it's not fair to her hubby nor to herself, but she's afraid of any negative image or worse, being outed.

However, I believe that she understates what she does so as not to hurt him, and not out of spite.

 

[GPIDEAL]

Okay, and that's admirable...but again, that involves the guy doing something wrong. In an exact 1:1 scenario, with the genders switched and the friend's partner instead being a client...would you out him?

You mean like Jessica's first real life example?

 

[sheri.valente]

You mean like Jessica's first real life example?

Sure, if you want. I haven't seen anyone answering that either.

 

[Nathan Drake]

Okay, and that's admirable...but again, that involves the guy doing something wrong. In an exact 1:1 scenario, with the genders switched and the friend's partner instead being a client...would you out him?

So a girlfriend I know begins to date a guy I don't know, who is prolific in the lifestyle?

I think I'd still be in the same position...but to be honest I feel less remorse for the guy and I'd probably warn the girl a lot easier.

If they were serious and I knew he was playing her...I'd say it one time and it's up to her to decide.

If I knew them both...maybe a different story.

Apples with apples. I don't know the guy, and I know the girl...you betcha

And not in a tattle tail I'm telling on you screaming it out kinda way.

This reminds me of something that happened to me years ago.

Girl sitting on the edge of a bridge. We seen this driving in by a car. We stop. My friend gets out first, and tried to talk this girl off the edge. Did she not jump off right in front of us. Crazy. Still, something had to be said, and I feel we did the right thing. Hard to sleep a couple weeks...

A friend of mine committed suicide on NYE maybe three weeks ago. For all the stuff we did see, and figured it's normal growing pains...I wish I said something.

Life has brought me to a place of not fearing the consequences of directions your heart tells you to go.

I may not have the best ability of textually expressing my complete thoughts to you all here...but I don't think people would want to read something so long anyways.

The point of sayin 'plug' her was to try include all facets of the situation...and get as many people responding.

Plus I'm a bit of a dirty minded boy.

 

[GPIDEAL]

The point of sayin 'plug' her was to try include all facets of the situation...and get as many people responding.

Plus I'm a bit of a dirty minded boy.

It crosses all our minds but keep it as a benign thought instead of act on it.

 

[TeasePlease]

I don't agree that prostitution (either as an SP or a client) is anywhere on the same level as beating up women and rape. Everyone seems to be avoiding the question - if it were the EXACT SAME SCENARIO, but with a client instead of an SP, would you even consider saying anything?

1. I know what you mean about degree of severity, but that's also inherently a value judgment.


2. No one has avoided the alternative scenario. Some would call the guy out, some wouldn't. No one WANTS to get busted. But, some guys have said that they would accept the consequences if they did. It's part of the game we play.

Yes, and that's why you should allow an escort to make their own decision on when or who she confides about her career. It's not up to anyone else. Don't say she isn't an adult for choosing to remain private.

I wouldn't accuse her of not being an adult. I can understand why she would. But do you not see the inherent conflict of not allowing her partner to make his own decision? Is that not-so-subtle distinction so difficult to grasp?

 

[Nathan Drake]

I agree with this poster. It is none of your business, and you wanting to see her is creepy. Your not much of a "Buddy" are you? In my opinion (which I value highly) people TELL other people not to help them, to hurt them, make them squirm, then they feel bigger and better then them. The only time anyone should tell, is if someone's life is in danger and/or children are involved. I also agree with TeasePlease's quote "Every village has an idiot"!

You remind me of an old joke.

The one of the 600 foot dinosaur....I'd tell you but it's way over your head.

I'm glad you value your own opinion.

Now back to the village.

 

[IM469]

The only time anyone should tell, is if someone's life is in danger and/or children are involved.

So now you are making a judgement call. So am I. If my close friend is dating an active SP and is not aware or might not be aware - I'm going to bring it up. I am not going to judge and we have a close enough friendship that it will not affect his relationship if he already knows. Why, because I am his friend and we look out for each other - that is what friendship is about.

I can't imagine a GF that I am dating and introducing to my friends & family is an active SP - how can she possibly hold any respect for our relationship if she can engage in her 'work' without my knowledge ? If my close friend knows my GF is is also an active SP and let's me continue the relationship knowing I'm being deceived - I'd be pissed. No real friend let's you fall like that.

I'm still amazed how many 'close friends' would throw their buddy under a car to protect a deceitful GF and how many SP's actually would continue their activities while lying to someone that they supposedly care about.

 

[TeasePlease]

One more thing.

I never understood why some one who was supposedly intelligent would come on a public forum and say ex:

Hi Gang
I feel like punching my buddy in the gut today, what do you think?

DUH!

You're right. Ignorance is bliss. Perpetual ignorance as a life goal. Kudos.

So now you are making a judgement call.

Exactly. Yet, that is the greatest irony of all here. The decision to NOT tell is itself a value judgment. For reasons I don't quite understand, i should trust those who believe that I am better off not knowing, not being told, or that I don't deserve to know.