I called the...

[Art Mann]

called my skiing buddy ... she's really gone downhill.....

Called the T-Bar operator, said I needed a lift. Got the bum rush.

 

[rgkv]

I tried sking...man was that a uphill battle

 

[rgkv]

I complained about all the snow this year, I was called a flake

 

[rgkv]

took the boat to Newfoundland, asked a guy where the poop deck was....he laughted, said go home boy, we don't poop off the deck here

 

[thumper18474]

Years ago..I thought about being a cardiologist..but my heart wasnt in it...
Thought maybe a gynacologist instead..took one look... and said...FUCK THAT...

 

[rgkv]

tried jerking off last night.....it was hard on me

 

[SchlongConery]

I called my boss and said: "I won't be in today, I've caught something."

"A cold?" he asked.

"Nah, a big Muskie" I replied, "it's going to take a while to land it

 

[thumper18474]

Called my proctologist the other day...
Asked him...why are you so Anal about your job?

 

[rgkv]

went to the MPer yesterday, girl said "ok times up" I said "I thought I would get a happy ending"...Oh OK she said, take ten bucks off

 

[great bear]

Called CAA and told them I had run out of gas. They suggested eating burriotos would help.

 

[Art Mann]

Called the golf pro shop, asked how to improve my drive. They said my problem was a little putter

 

[great bear]

Called the golf pro shop, asked how to improve my drive. They said my problem was a little putter

My GF did the nearly the same thing. She asked about improving her drive and the golf pro asked her what kind of balls she had.

 

[Art Mann]

Called the computer shop with a question about floppy discs. They said I need a hard drive.

 

[Art Mann]

Called for a tow truck, said I rammed another driver in the ass. They said "rectum." I said "damn near killed him."

 

[thumper18474]

When I'm out with the guys....
I squat down..
keep my knees together...
And wrap my arms around them....cus...

THATS HOW I ROLL...

 

[thumper18474]

Did poop patrol in my backyard yesterday...3 months...2 dogs..healthy appetites...
what a shitty job that was.....No seriously...it was !!!!!!

 

[Art Mann]

Called AA, asked how to get there. They said 12 steps.

 

[Art Mann]

Called Algonquin Park to ask about back country camping. They told me to take a hike.

 

[SoftHands813]

I just called my local Community College to sign up for a class in geology. I've always wanted to rock enroll.

 

[Art Mann]

Called the fire department with a burning question. They poured cold water all over it.