Falsely accused by ugly female colleague of inappropriate staring

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xyphy

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Oct 2, 2001
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All you have to do is convince her you're gay
This is actually something I considered.
My Rebuttal to the accusation of harassment, seriously, was that I was going to tell them that I am Gay and I found her obscenely ignorant and would consider legal action if the matter wasn't dropped.
How can anyone refute that.
Sadly (and thankfully), this was 20 years ago when you couldn't be cancelled. no social media, plus they had more expensive lawyers than me.
 

Paprika

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Jan 1, 2020
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This is actually something I considered.
My Rebuttal to the accusation of harassment, seriously, was that I was going to tell them that I am Gay and I found her obscenely ignorant and would consider legal action if the matter wasn't dropped.
How can anyone refute that.
Sadly (and thankfully), this was 20 years ago when you couldn't be cancelled. no social media, plus they had more expensive lawyers than me.
Except it's very easy to figure out you're lying by simply asking your coworkers if you ever mentioned liking a pair of tits, and being in a place where there are a lot of men, there's a lot of locker room talk.
 

AL67

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Mar 21, 2023
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“I don’t even talk to this person”

Followed by

“She started ghosting me”

Add all that to the fact that you’re calling her ugly (you are still fully capable at staring at ugly people btw)… you sound very hurt and bitter. It sounds like you care A LOT.

Just avoid her and stop staring. Problem solved. Also try writing in a diary or talking to a therapist. Incel speech and behaviour is not healthy bro.
 

Terminator2000

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Jun 16, 2007
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about 20 years ago I had a client that I was friendly with accuse me of sexual harassment. It was a completely messed up situation because she was the one who actually did the harassment to me.
I was getting rid of some furniture that she knew about and wanted some of the items. Told her the price we were asking and she asked if there were ways that she could lower the price.
I didn't bite, kept saying the price we were asking, but would give her a little bit of a deal. she kept at it with the vague comments "...is there anything I could do to get a better price?..." kind of talk. little flirty giggles and that eye blinking look while asking.
she just kept at it.
"there are things that I could do to you if you could give me a better price..." the crazy thing is that she was doing this in front of my team members. making it a joke and kept at it all day.
again, I would answer with, well. you could arrange for the mover or courier to help with moving the stuff. I just didn't want to go down that road. this was a good client that she worked for. I know my boundaries.
finally one of her colleagues just said "...I think she's offering you a blow job!".
rolling my eyes, i was truthfully just shrugging it off. laughed and let the day go forward.
2 days later, I get a meeting request with the president of the company and go to his office and there are about 4 other people in there, lawyers. they tell me that they had a sexual harassment complaint against me and they were terminating our relationship.
Talk about being found guilty without a trial.
they just wanted distance. I get it, but I was floored. It still bothers me to this day. I truly was the one being harassed.
found out later that she used it as an excuse to be put on a different account, wanted to move up the ladder more quickly etc.
Just sharing this because it's the one making the complaint that will win every time.
how is it sexual harassment when she's the one saying she wants to do something sexual with you? meanwhile the witnesses even state she's the one making the suggestion. not you.
 

Jenesis

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Jul 14, 2020
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No there isn't.
Maybe he will answer you then - how did she ghost him? What was the context of the ghosting? Because usually that is reserved for some type of romantic gesture.

If it was work related, he would have explained that considering the way he has been laying out the details.
 

JohnnyWishbone

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May 7, 2019
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about 20 years ago I had a client that I was friendly with accuse me of sexual harassment. It was a completely messed up situation because she was the one who actually did the harassment to me.
In 1996 something similar happened to my buddy (he definitely won't read this here LOL). He was working for Rogers or one of the smaller cable tv companies that Rogers bought out and was dealing with a cable tv issue at an apartment where some woman lived. According to him a group of women were there and he was getting on well with one of them, flirting etc. but he sensed a boundary (she was married and didn't want to cheat) but her fat friend took a liking to my friend who wasn't interested in her and she was pissed off at him for not responding positively to her advances. Turns out there was a murder of a woman in the area around the same time my buddy was doing his house call and a few weeks later the Police called him in stating someone said his behavior was suspicious (Or something like that) and wanted him to prove all his steps during that week. A contact in management told him that the Police had called into the office to confirm if he went to the address of the woman/fat friend and was in the area so he put 2 and 2 together and figured out it was the fat lady who took a liking to him was out for revenge for spurning her advances
 
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Darts

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Jan 15, 2017
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Years ago my company sent me in to do some audit work on a client. It was a small insurance broker business. The partners were 4 males and one female. One of the products they sold was called a deferred annuity (since killed by the Liberals).

Anyway, the female partner took a liking (no surprise) me. I liked the deferred annuity. So, I asked the female partner if she could rebate the 10% commission to me? Without batting an eyelash she said "yes, of course".

This gender thing cuts both ways.
 
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xyphy

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Oct 2, 2001
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how is it sexual harassment when she's the one saying she wants to do something sexual with you? meanwhile the witnesses even state she's the one making the suggestion. not you.
that's harassment (towards me)...doesn't matter if it's a woman saying it to a guy or vice versa..
 

xyphy

Active member
Oct 2, 2001
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Except it's very easy to figure out you're lying by simply asking your coworkers if you ever mentioned liking a pair of tits, and being in a place where there are a lot of men, there's a lot of locker room talk.
I was the supplier. nobody from my team would have been interviewed.
Also, in today's climate, it doesn't matter.
gender fluidity and all that BS. I can now say I believe I am a woman, cat, spirit whatever...
 
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Paprika

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Jan 1, 2020
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Well I guess to fill in some holes I will explain a bit furthur, I said "unknown reason" earlier because I didn't want to be too specific.

1. When my direct supervisor had a heated argument with another team member months ago, I defended my supervisor, and after the meeting butterface made a comment directly at me saying "hey, next time don't side with management", I told her she should be grateful because the supervisor was the person that got her the job, she insisted on the fact she got hired because of her "20 years of experience", which was a lie cos she had maybe 5-6 years tops. Later she went to my department manager to say I didn't respect her experience, and I apologized to her for what I said and supposedly "we were good". After that, I cut off all small talks and any non-work related communication, due the the fact I didn't appreciate her style of going beyond her ranks to complain.

2. After that at some point, I got questioned about my time management by the direct supervisor regarding a job, I considered it a double standard, and complained about excessive cellphone usage by other members, which includes butterface. After that, cellphone usage declined but butterface started to look at me in a hateful manner, sometimes walking right past me without saying "Good Morning".

3. First day after I came back from a monthly business trip and made some serious OT, and said Good Morning to butterface, she never responded. I tried that for a couple of weeks, she responded maybe 3-4 times. After that, it became a nod. Then just completely ignoring. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire so I let her work out her own shit.

4. I was away on Thursday for medical reasons, I used my own vacation day, and apparently somebody thought it was the perfect opportunity to ambush me, and on Friday, I got called at the end of the day to a meeting with the department manager to discuss this allegation of harassment aka "staring".
 
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