You clearly missed some of the responses in this thread, the ones calling single moms the plague for example... but leave it to you to throw other women under the bus.
Are Single Moms Worth Your Time?
- Thread starter ExoticSpirit
- Start date
How am I throwing other women under the bus with the 4 examples I gave? They would apply to any single parent and are all factual. I was not rude or offensive in any way.
Do I agree with comments like calling them a plaque, of course not. But if you can recognize that I may have missed those post, why get all passive aggressive with it. Clearly I missed those. I denounce them now that I know but what I wrote was not about that.
I’m sorry your sensitivity about this subject made my post seem offensive to you but that was not the case at all. I did not through anyone under the bus.
I personally will not date a single father for many of the same reasons. I have preference of what I would want in a relationship. I also don’t want anyone who drinks. That is another preference. People shouldn’t take it as such a personal rejection.
These are great and although some of these points are relaxed a bit for cases where the kids are adult age, many of the responsibilities and commitments stay forever, ie., once a responsibly mom, always a responsible mom no matter what age the kids are. And with some adult kids out there not able to financially fend for themselves still living at home with moms, the financial equation still might come into play for those who might want to date single moms with these types of adult kids. In any case, the baggage in various states is real once a lady becomes a single mom and I think for this reason, many of us guys would not be suitable good mates for them -- not necessarily any fault with the women though. It's just the way it is and the responses from most of the guys here kind of confirm it.
Whatever the opinions were, thanks to everyone who participated in this thread so far.
What if mom is still getting payments from father of child? I'm pretty sure you can't collect on both.
I dunno regarding coffee shop.. in this city, they're still picky from my understanding, or will have high demands. If you're a guy with a stable White collar job, living on your own (super bonus with own property), basic hygiene and communications, sense of humour is a bonus, then you'll be a catch for any 35-40+ women who's looking for a partner, especially with a child.If you in your late 50's and she's in her early 40's and her kids are at least age of majority, that sounds like a very good deal. It is when these twenty-something or thirty-something women have kids under 18. You're definitely wading into legally enforced parental responsibility territory. And you might be on the hook for paying for some other guy's seed to go to University. Yah, that is messed up. But it is the law. And if you were in the relationship long enough, you will still be on the hook even after you have ended the relationship (common-law marriage or official marriage).
Still better to hunt at Starbucks for those lonely coffee drinkers on a Saturday morning. It is like shooting fish in a barrel. (Just don't be too picky. Remember, she won't look her best because she's depressed she is drinking coffee alone again. Remember, if she looks healthy, she will taste good.)
BUT, mostly I've seen is if you're single by then, you're likely set in your ways and hard to actually really get together. Fling, sex, casual, etc., sure, I guess that can happen easily depending on your game.
Regarding common-law, if you move in, pay for the child, live like a real husband with real child caring upbringing, that is possible regarding longer-term obligations. But it's covered under a different act so I think the burden of proof by mother is higher. I suppose a single mom could get child support from birth father, and have 5 common law-relationships and hence collect on 6 child support payments and hence buy a prime property in Toronto.
This is a mom and her daughter ....
so yes, I think I could be openminded about the idea.
That picture really captures why I would have nothing to do with either one of them. I feel bad for the daughter though. I bet she doesn't have much if any relationship with her father.This is a mom and her daughter ....
so yes, I think I could be openminded about the idea.
A MPA I visited regularly in my early days of hobbying became
a single grandma at the age of 36 when her 16 year old daughter
in high school was impregnated and kept the baby. The thought
of dating her at the time was tempting. I can't imagine how life
would have ended up had I gone ahead.
a single grandma at the age of 36 when her 16 year old daughter
in high school was impregnated and kept the baby. The thought
of dating her at the time was tempting. I can't imagine how life
would have ended up had I gone ahead.
Last edited:
a mom can have multiple sources of child support from people who have been in a significant relationship with the child as per my lawyer. so by that rational a live in boyfriend can be responsible for support. if a man has relationship with a child support can be sought.
so essentially mom lives with a man breaks up and gets support. has another live in boyfriend breaks up and can get support. wash rinse and repeat. this also applies to anyone who has a significant relationship with the child.
its a great way to ensure financial stability at the cost of another person.
gents. spend an hour with a family law attorney and bring a list of questions. its worth the money and will give you clear answers to any of your questions prior to entering into a relationship with a sm.
Part of the payment in the brief romps is for them to go away.This is a mom and her daughter ....
so yes, I think I could be openminded about the idea.
Depends what you're looking for. Single mothers are indeed often starved for sex. The single mother I'm currently dating may be the most sexual woman I ever have! She literally claws me inside the door and mauls me on the way to the bedroom. Or living room. Or kitchen counter.
She always makes herself look good for me, and enjoys dressing up for my visits. And actually shows appreciation for the small things I do for her (many other women just see that as their due and take it for granted). They're lower maintenance, and will often reciprocate small kindnesses. For instance, I occasionally bring her and the kids dinner so she won't have to cook when I know she's had a long day. Similarly, she'll bring me lunch at work when she knows I'm swamped. Just one example, there are many.
There are caveats, of course. If you're not going to recognize, and accommodate the fact, that her kids will be central to her world, then you should stay clear. Otherwise, you're an asshole. Seriously. You're messing with important things there. You have to recognize there are hooks there that you can't just walk away from without doing damage.
With that said, saying that "you'll always come second to her children" isn't necessarily true. I think many single mothers are tired of only being seen as single mothers. Show her you see more of her than that (extol her talents, tell her how sexy she is), and she'll make you a focus.
She always makes herself look good for me, and enjoys dressing up for my visits. And actually shows appreciation for the small things I do for her (many other women just see that as their due and take it for granted). They're lower maintenance, and will often reciprocate small kindnesses. For instance, I occasionally bring her and the kids dinner so she won't have to cook when I know she's had a long day. Similarly, she'll bring me lunch at work when she knows I'm swamped. Just one example, there are many.
There are caveats, of course. If you're not going to recognize, and accommodate the fact, that her kids will be central to her world, then you should stay clear. Otherwise, you're an asshole. Seriously. You're messing with important things there. You have to recognize there are hooks there that you can't just walk away from without doing damage.
With that said, saying that "you'll always come second to her children" isn't necessarily true. I think many single mothers are tired of only being seen as single mothers. Show her you see more of her than that (extol her talents, tell her how sexy she is), and she'll make you a focus.
There are two support payments in the picture here. First is child support and the second is spousal support.
Child support is required from the parent who doesn’t have custody until the child is 18 years of age. If the kid is yours, it’s only right that you provide for your offspring. The “new” spouse would likely also provide support if he/she is in a full time relationship with the mom. Ie buying groceries, clothing, Xmas presents, movies, etc.
Spousal support is provided by the ex-spouse who had the greater income to maintain a similar or same standard of living to the lower income spouse. This can go both ways. If the mom was the breadwinner and the father was a stay home dad, then she would pay him spousal support at separation. If and when the spouse receiving spousal support re-marry or is in a common law relationship, then the spouse providing spousal support can apply to end support payments.
I wasn't sure but it sounds like you and her still live in separate residences. But when it comes to a point when either of you want to progress the relationship to something more serious involving either you moving in with her or her (and her kids) moving in with you, then what? And from the other comments here, this is when the financial picture can get quite messy.
You are correct, we still live in separate residences, and that's unlikely to change in the near future. I'm not as a father to her kids, but more an uncle. If she were to move in with me, it would only be if I decided for that to change.
Started out as friends in February, but there was a whole lot of sexual tension that boiled over in March. Worked out quite nicely with the pandemic taking hold and mostly putting my hobbying on hiatus.
There is a phenomenon, particularly in large metropolitan cities, where women who earn more money and have acquired advanced education believe they deserve a higher value man because of it. Many 35-40+ women fall in this camp. Their education and earnings go up with age (these women have masters, law degrees, probably earning at or near the 95th percentile+), while their fertility and beauty deteriorates. For men, the upper echelons (lets say the 1% top earners) have their pick of women, and they generally want younger women, as they don't care about the women's earnings. So it's difficult for these women to find suitable partners where they can feel that they are marrying "up". It's a big thing in the black community in the US, where black women are becoming highly educated and high earners, but only 1 in 4 black women will marry in their lifetimes. I suspect that whites and other races are starting to follow this trend. One thing I have learned is that if you are ever dating a woman and she feels she could do better than you, the relationship is doomed.
correct. however....
for my situation I was temporarily renting a room from a single mom friend. if I was significant(buying things, trips, spending time together, supervise) person in the childs life it could be argued that I provided support(doesnt necessarily mean $) to the child and would be required to pay $. while staying there I had a daily diary to document while I was living there as proof of the zero relationship with the kid.
the spousal support was not an issue for me as long as we did not do couple things together, which we did not.
You make great observational points there. A couple points a have a different spin on like successful educated career women feel they "deserve" a higher value men. The truth is a high value man is what female instinct desires period. Women don't want to be the mans rock. They want him as THEIR rock. Another is that it's the 1% top earners of men that don't care about women's money. I'm no 1% earner and I don't care about a woman's money because from my experience most aren't sharing their pot of gold with you anyway. From my experience most woman subscribe to the belief your money's our money and mine's my own. To save myself some time I'm going to cut and paste two "commandments" from an essay I read online just the other day actually called The Sixteen Commandments of Poon. It's easy to find if you do an online search.
III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority
Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.
IV. Don’t play by her rules
If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable
Last edited:
