Again, it would seem the baggage seems to be on the men. Some men had bad experiences (and it sounds like unrealistic expectations to be "everything" to their GF which is nuts) and thus all single mothers are a risk? This sounds incel-ish. Women are not the enemy, mothers or otherwise.
Are women with jobs or friends also a bad idea because they cant drop everything on whim when you want them?
Should we also be barefoot and in the kitchen?
I don’t think that is what men are saying.
I think, and I get it, they are saying;
1. You will never come first because her kids always will. Which these men seem to understand and accept. But I get it. I want to be first in someone’s life. That is why I would date. They want attention they understand is not available for a valid reason. Doesn’t mean they have to accept that for themselves. So they move on to someone without kids who can pay that attention.
2. Men can be on the hook for child support of a child that is not theirs if the relationship goes a certain way. I get this too. I would not want to pay for another persons child and becoming “loco parentis” is a very real thing. It would be a concern, a “con” to dating a single mom.
3. Not being able to discipline the child. Again a very real thing. I wouldn’t want some guy disciplining my child when they were young. That is my job. But I have been around people who’s kids need some immediate discipline and I get annoyed when a parent doesn’t do and I can’t either. I get this issue.
4. Time. Time revolves around the kids. Again, I get that. It is the way it should be. But if you are the type who has an already bad schedule or has to be more in control of their schedule or can’t meet the schedule of a typical “kid” schedule then I get it. If you want to see the women every weekend but can only see her every other weekend when the kids are gone to their dads, that would suck for you. You would understand but it would suck. Would it not be better to find a non single mom who didn’t have those types of schedule issues? It is not saying their is a fault against the women, just that schedules and wants don’t line up.
Single parents come with a certain type of baggage. This is not to say that people in general don’t, of course they do. Single moms just have baggage that can be seen before even getting into the relationship and that can make a determination for men before hand.
If I was able to see a man had the baggage of alcoholism, narcissistic personality, and an abusive nature I never would have dated the last guy I was with.
Guys get to see that baggage before hand. Does this mean men could be losing out on amazing women? Yup. But women lose out on amazing guys because they want Brad Pitt types only. So we are no different. Just have different things we want in terms of a partner.
But I don’t think these guys here are trying to tear down single moms and put them back in the kitchen. They are just talking some truths.
It’s funny how females get upset when men apply the same forethought and strategies as they do for determining whether someone is worth being in a relationship with. Something they have done for thousands of years btw
Men do the same thing. Complain all the time about how women choose their partners. Have you read some of the shit on this board? It is full of upset men who complain about women.
Shit, they complain if a woman doesn’t smile back at them. Because somehow we owe them a smile.
So before laughing at upset women, take a look around and see your fellow man doing the same thing.