Oh I've already found my guy, he cried on my shoulder and I cried on his. We laughed, and share everything with each other. It works for us. We have each others back at every turn. He never judged me and I never judged him. We are now together 7 years, and I've been out of the business for 6. Dated him for a year while I was working and then he helped me get out. My story had a happy ending. I will say, I'm 40 and I'm with a mature man who didn't want to run when I opened up to him and vice-versa. For me, it worked.I find this generation of women aren't too interested in witnessing vulnerability. Least not too early in the courting scene. Being guarded in the beginning actually promotes a bit of mystery. But if your like an open book in the beginning the women tend to start walking out the door and looking for someone else almost immediately.
Ideologically it would be great for a man to just let their guard down and put their feet up but in today's world, women see it as a sign of weakness. Or that your a loon. I'm not saying a man can't do it but later on, not in the courting stage.
Women on the other hand want to be able to gab and for that suitor to LISTEN. If you start to complain about your problems to her so early BA-BYE. She will lose interest FAST. It's a case of Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. AJ I'm not going to tell you the ideological, I'm telling you the REAL reactions so you can succeed on your journey.
I'm glad Sophie, really and truly. Your situation is a rarity - a hidden gem. Let's hope we can all be as lucky.Oh I've already found my guy, he cried on my shoulder and I cried on his. It worked for us. We have each others back at every turn. He never judged me and I never judged him. We are now together 7 years, and I've been out of the business for 6. My story had a happy ending. I will say, I'm 40 and I'm with a mature man who didn't want to run when I opened up to him or I him. For me, it worked.
I know right, thanks. I must have done something really good in life to be so lucky. I wish the same for everyone back. It's a very happy place to be in.I'm glad Sophie, really and truly. Your situation is a rarity - a hidden gem. Let's hope we can all be as lucky.
I can tell your a good person , so it's well deserved.I know right, thanks. I must have done something really good in life to be so lucky. I wish the same for everyone back. It's a very happy place to be in.
Thanks.This is old news
I'm shredded. I eat a slow carb diet/low gylcemic index foods, 4 meals per day, primarily plant-based, organic, and high in protein, I take a number of naturopathic supplements (prescribed to me via my naturopathic doctor), and I drink about three litres of water per day. I lift heavy weights once a week, I do high intensity interval training twice a week (one ten minute session, and one twenty six minute session), and I practice yoga four times a week. I also plank for seven minutes per day no matter what, I do the yoga pose known as downward dog for two minutes per day no matter what, I do eight minutes of hip-opening stretches everyday no matter what, in addition to other physical habits and routines, none of which include steroids.5'8 and 193 lbs? No fucking way your body fat is less than 12% Probably more like 22% Unless you are completely shredded like Franco Columbu.
Your like my brotha from anotha motha. Next up is HIIT and we're good.I'm shredded. I eat a slow carb diet/low gylcemic index foods, 4 meals per day, primarily plant-based, organic, and high in protein, I take a number of naturopathic supplements (prescribed to me via my naturopathic doctor), and I drink about three litres of water per day. I lift heavy weights once a week, I do high intensity interval training twice a week (one ten minute session, and one twenty six minute session), and I practice yoga four times a week. I also plank for seven minutes per day no matter what, I do the yoga pose known as downward dog for two minutes per day no matter what, I do eight minutes of hip-opening stretches everyday no matter what, in addition to other physical habits and routines, none of which include steroids.
I'm a former athlete, and a former personal trainer.
After I saw the escort last night, I made a joke that she should have paid me, but I was half joking.
I appreciate the fact that my story resonates with you, but based on the therapy that I have undergone, the deep friendships that I have (including friendships with awesome women), my family, and others, I completely disagree with your statement about never telling any woman my fears or insecurities. I think that, within the context of a healthy relationship, whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, sharing fears and insecurities are necessary, within reason, and gradually, as the relationship evolves.Interesting thread. OP, I think we have a lot in common. I suffered extreme anxiety and shyness in my early 20's after a pretty traumatic childhood, and struggled with booze and drugs to medicate myself. I started seeing escorts because I didn't know how to get a date and had never had a girlfriend. I quit seeing them about 5 years ago. It was a combination of guilt, and I had a steady girlfriend at the time. As for sti's, you at least have some kind of HPV, it's impossible not to get (even without all the BBBJ's). Been there, done that. This hobby doesn't do much for your perceptions of women or real relationships. It basically teaches you to treat women as sex dispensing machines. Civilian sex is basically just a women letting you go to the bathroom inside of her in exchange for emotional currency. If you can manipulate her emotions, you get the cookie. After a number of failed relationships, I don't think I can ever have a real emotional connection with a woman, but more importantly I'm experienced enough to know that you can't trust them anyways. I also feel ashamed that I lost my virginity to an escort, any woman would black ball me if she ever knew that. I have learned one thing about relationships though, if you want to keep a woman happy, learn how to lie about your true feelings. Also, never tell any woman your fears or insecurities. She will leave you for someone who appears emotionally stronger. I know this will all come across as very cynical, but at your age you might as well be brutally realistic about relationships.
In terms of the discipline within my physical routine, the amount of time, energy, and concentration that I invest towards my psychological and intellectual faculties far exceed the resources that I invest towards developing myself physically. I read for at least 2 hours a day, I own 2 companies, which involves a lot of reading, learning, and human interactions, and I am constantly learning about all of the skills and subjects that I believe will enrich all aspects of my life, through books, podcasts, YouTube videos, Vimeo videos, forums, and so on.I'm no psychologist, but it sounds like you're very outcome or end-goal oriented, which may be the cause of some of the anxiety you are feeling. IMO, you should try to be more process oriented and "get outside of your head" in the dating game and in life in general. Try as we may, there are things that are outside of our control. It's wonderful that you have immense self discipline in your physical routine, but learn to let the routine go from time to time and I don't mean go on a crazy junk food, alcohol, sex, etc. binge. Everything in moderation as they say.
I've been to CODA. Once you've been there long enough, and seen what the relationships of the members are like, you'll probably just want to stay single. Also, the program encourages a level of emotional and communicative awareness that most people are uncomfortable with, unless you are with another 12-stepper.I appreciate the fact that my story resonates with you, but based on the therapy that I have undergone, the deep friendships that I have (including friendships with awesome women), my family, and others, I completely disagree with your statement about never telling any woman my fears or insecurities. I think that, within the context of a healthy relationship, whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, sharing fears and insecurities are necessary, within reason, and gradually, as the relationship evolves.
I want to be in a romantic relationship with an interesting, psychologically integrated woman that knows herself as well as I know myself, that accepts me for who I am (insecurities and all), and that enjoys my company, interests, and other aspects of my life.
I don't lie about my feelings -- not to myself, or to others. I am authentic, I am honest, I am direct, and working with a therapist, and being part of the Codependents Anonymous fellowship, and having a number of meaningful friendships has helped me in that regard.
I definitely have anxiety, I have had depression, and my dating life has yet to flourish, but you seem a lot more cynical than me, and your perspectives on women, and your experiences with them, outside of the escorting world, are far different than mine, at least from my perspective.
Furthermore, I did not lose my virginity to an escort, and I have dated many women, even though being in a long-term relationship with a woman for more than four months has been a challenge, due to my own insecurities. I am ready to move forward though.
In terms of HPV, have you been tested for it?
I've been going to CoDA for two years, and while I appreciate being single, I do want a relationship with the level of emotional and communicative awareness that you've described.I've been to CODA. Once you've been there long enough, and seen what the relationships of the members are like, you'll probably just want to stay single. Also, the program encourages a level of emotional and communicative awareness that most people are uncomfortable with, unless you are with another 12-stepper.
HPV isn't detectable by blood tests. I went to the sti clinic, and was told it's only confirmed by symptoms (ie: genital warts), which only show up in a fraction of the people carrying the virus.
Sex with escorts is the only fun that you have in life?This entire thread is nuts. I love ladies. Why be afraid of having a nice time.
Plain and simple. If it were not for these wonderful woman, I would have no fun in life, and jerking off does not cut it. Not in my world.
