you know you are ugly when

[bobistheowl]

when you knock on the Escort's door, she gives you Halloween candy, and sends you on your way.

 

[sasemohan123]

When you throw a boomerang, it doesn't come back.

When you realized you are NOT asian, or even Asian lover BUT...

 

[FatOne]

When your mother has a C Section, just to avoid you getting any access to vagina.

 

[wigglee]

Who says Henny Youngman is dead?

 

[richaceg]

when everyone you meet on the streets makes the sign of the cross...

 

[Bella Italiana]

when you go into a haunted house and come out with an application.

 

[Bella Italiana]

when you sit in the sand the cats try to bury you.

 

[Bella Italiana]

when you make onions cry.

 

[red]

you have to trick or treat by phone

 

[Curious36]

When trying to impress, it's better to shave your ass and learn to walk backwards....

 

[GPIDEAL]

When you're GF or wife hobbies.

 

[versitile1]

As a kid, your mom had to tie a pork chop around your neck so the dog would play with you.

 

[versitile1]

In the supermarket check-out line, a man is having his groceries rung in. "Two frozen pizzas, 12 pack of coke cans, pack of hot dogs," says the cashier, who is an attractive, young woman. "Three cans of beans, frozen hamburgers, and a bottle of ketchup. That'll be $35 please." She then asks, "so you're single, huh?". To which the man answers sarcastically,
"Gee, how'd you guess?".
She replies, "Because you're fuckin ugly."

 

[Mr Deeds]

You know your ugly when
you have to sneak up on a mirror
when you can make onions cry
when you try ti jerk off and you hand tries to fall asleep

 

[milehigh]

You can scare the dogs off a meat truck.

 

[mynameisearl11]

...on halloween kids asked you where you get your mask from...

 

[IM469]

You have to Trick or Treat by phone.

Every time your mother looks at you she says to herself, "Damn, I should have just given head."

When yo'' mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering!

 

[K Douglas]

Your mom used to feed you as a baby with a sling shot

Your mother gets morning sickness..........after you are born

You need two bags during sex, one for your head and one for hers........just in case yours falls off.

 

[fuji]

... after you read all the punch lines in this thread you wished people would treat you with that much kindness.

 

[night ride]

You don't bother to clean your mirrors are home.