Good point. Really don't understand so many guys being so judgmental about other giving gifts to sp.what do you care? Maybe some guys aren't the selfish, self centred, cheap assholes others are. Or as one guy said....he gives gifts because he can! Kindness and class goes a long way....don't understand why some so strongly object to gifts for sp with the same vigour as an NRA guy talking about the right to shoot assault rifles. Posts like this make me realize getting out of the hobby a year ago was best decision I ever made.
Why do clients patronize SWs with gifts?
- Thread starter Tashki
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Good point. Really don't understand so many guys being so judgmental about other giving gifts to sp.what do you care? Maybe some guys aren't the selfish, self centred, cheap assholes others are. Or as one guy said....he gives gifts because he can! Kindness and class goes a long way....don't understand why some so strongly object to gifts for sp with the same vigour as an NRA guy talking about the right to shoot assault rifles. Posts like this make me realize getting out of the hobby a year ago was best decision I ever made.
Of course it's an extreme example because it's a lavish gift. As stated I personally don't have issues with inexpensive gifts like wine, chocolate, a book, etc. In that same region is your example of coffee and a donut, and I highly doubt the guys questioning the gifting would begrudge a donut and coffee. We are generally talking about decent/lavish gifts, frequent gifts, or the combo of both. And you might be one of the few guys that ensures his activity doesn't affect his finances/family. Pretty sure a bunch of guys don't think/budget properly. Some will state they have a limit/budget, but there will always be a rainy day around the corner which is why savings are never a bad thing.
I bet some guys are envious or jealous. They feel that the guys who buy gifts are ruining it for them, maybe? I say, just be yourself and good to the ladies (and not cheap). If you can't afford to pay for gifts (includes money), that's okay.
Any gift, even a small one, is a nice gesture. Like they say, it's the thought that counts. And it makes a provider's day merrier. (I don't think it's easy being an SP, even if they make it feel easy).
Any gift, even a small one, is a nice gesture. Like they say, it's the thought that counts. And it makes a provider's day merrier. (I don't think it's easy being an SP, even if they make it feel easy).
I recently saw a woman for the first time and based upon the session and our conversation afterwards, we found out a few things about each other and she told me one detail that made me decide on my next visit (a few days later), that I would bring her something. Well I did (it was under $25) and her reaction made it all worthwhile. For such a small thing (relatively thinking), to her it was a grand gesture and it made her very happy to receive what I had given her. She said many times that she was so happy. But she also told me not to bring her something each time because it is expensive to do so. Again she really meant it. She told me just occasionally to which I agreed. Whether you are a man or a woman, to receive something out of the blue from a client or provider and in any aspect of your lives, is an act that should be thought of as something special, whether big or small. Many, many guys give gifts/tips but just as many and maybe more don't. For those that don't, no need to &$it on those that do.
Personally, I have been given some very nice and expensive gifts from some of the women I have seen over the years. I am sure many guys have received gifts as well, big and small. The most precious gifts I have ever received however has been time. This is what I cherish the most for the unforgettable memories and friendships that they have provided.
Many posts ago, I said this was a stupid and asinine thread to start. Well based upon the responses, thank you to those who have proved me right, again.
Personally, I have been given some very nice and expensive gifts from some of the women I have seen over the years. I am sure many guys have received gifts as well, big and small. The most precious gifts I have ever received however has been time. This is what I cherish the most for the unforgettable memories and friendships that they have provided.
Many posts ago, I said this was a stupid and asinine thread to start. Well based upon the responses, thank you to those who have proved me right, again.
The biggest reason, he simply wants to leave a good impression because he values her. This applies to clients who bring gifts even on first visits.
There is rarely some dark motive to it...
There is rarely some dark motive to it...
I find it completely irrational and fallicous for those who use the “Because I can.” as a justifiable argument.
Within the context of that kind of reasoning it still doesn’t explain the end-goal nor the purpose of why one does what they do so therefore it technically it doesn’t answer the question in a logical concluding manner.
Within the context of that kind of reasoning it still doesn’t explain the end-goal nor the purpose of why one does what they do so therefore it technically it doesn’t answer the question in a logical concluding manner.
Are you a Vulcan or an android?
Gift giving is an emotional behavior not a logical one and does not always have an end goal. People are irrational beings not cold, logical robots. Based on logic alone, gift giving serves no purpose other than spending money. Yet many people choose to stress themselves out every year buying Christmas gifts. If you don't understand why someone would want to give a gift to an SP, then don't do it. You're under no obligation to give a gift.Why do you donate to charity? Why do you buy a $200 piece of clothing when a $50 that's functional and looks the same is available? Why do you go to see certain movies in theatre when there's no "theatre experience" needed e.g. comedy? There's a whole bunch of things people do and one of the reasons is because you can. I've had a fridge full of food but decided to eat out.
There are probably some underlying and understated reasons for any of these. I think there's enough info (either through common sense or other's replies) that gifiting is done because the person is generous, thinks it makes the relationship feel more personal, they like making the other person happy above/beyond the money, they hope for something more/extra, some gifts set the tone (E.g. outfit, food to be eaten during), or some other reason that comes from giving somebody else something. I 100% agree that there is no requirement to gift and some guys I'm sure have been in long term relationships with SP's where money is the only thing exchanging hands. But if someone chooses to gift it's ultimately their decision and I think because they can is a fair overall reason.
I don't think the OP mentioned the cost of gifts or frequency of gift giving. Besides, what qualifies as an expensive or inexpensive gift will vary wildly between people. A $200 gift could be expensive for a mid-income family man with 3 kids, but insignificant to a high-income executive with none. Then again, the high-income executive could also be in debt to his eyeballs because of peer pressure to live a certain lifestyle.
I do agree with you that people should limit spending on non-essentials especially hobbying. That being said, not everyone shares those values and that's their choice.
Correct, the OP did not mention those specifically but it's implied IMO. Patronage can refer to frequency and again, nobody would bat an eye at a small token gift so it's more likely the OP is questioning more lavish gifts.
I base the term expensive on the cost - the income of the person is irrelevant. Bill Gates buying a Rolls Royce doesn't make a Rolls Royce inexpensive.
Many people have undergone huge and unexpected hardship and in quite a few cases, it simply comes down to spending and budgeting. There's a show that used to be on TV (can't recall the name) where the host goes over the finances/spending habits of people and provides a financial plan. Some people would spend $1000/month on eating out for example. No problem if they're rich but these people were not. So it's not necessarily about values/choice but sometimes purely about economics. If I have $300 that I am going to spend, either on food, drink, sports tickets, or hobbying, that choice is my own and what I value. But if I am taking $300 out of the rent budget to spend on hobbying, just because I value hobbying, that's clearly the wrong choice.
^^^ This.Are you a Vulcan or an android?
I give gifts because I actually enjoy giving gifts. I don't think I have an end goal beyond that.
Why does showing appreciation for another human being in the form of a gift require any explanation or further "end goal"?
As much as it's a job, sex work is unique in that it has a much higher chance of leading to intimate and personal connections than any other job. Do I shower my auto mechanic with gifts? No... But I have one SP who I see regularly, and while I'm sure she wouldn't see me any less frequently if I didn't tip or give her gifts, it gives me pleasure to seek out and buy things that I think she'd like. Does that make me psychologically damaged in some way? So be it if it does. I'm happy, she's happy... Where's the harm?
https://twitter.com/FindomChristine
https://twitter.com/GoddessAliciax
https://twitter.com/GoddessJuliette
https://twitter.com/goddesskaylaxo
FinDoms listed on Twitter, just for FYI.
https://twitter.com/GoddessAliciax
https://twitter.com/GoddessJuliette
https://twitter.com/goddesskaylaxo
FinDoms listed on Twitter, just for FYI.
Been away for a year or so and things seem to have gotten a whole lot more toxic. This reminds me of a thread about how some guys giving tips and booking girls for longer sessions was ruining the “market” for everyone else.. It’s like the gay marriage debate - it really doesn’t impact their lives at all but people can’t get over their own lived experience.
And geez, is no one here friendly with the other service providers in their lives? Do people not tip their maids? Hairstylists? Basically anyone that provides a “service” ? Even restaurant tips are 20% these days..
What is it with "slaves" and "pay pigs"? Just get a wife. She'll do all the things a findom does, and more, 24/7. No sex, boot to the nuts, verbal abuse, and so on.
Imagine being a fly on the wall on these sessions. The emotional roller coaster of wanting to laugh and puke would be overwhelming.
I wouldn't say dark, more just unhealthy/delusional. I feel that a client who gifts a laptop, for instance, isn't thinking, "hey I appreciate you so here's a laptop". That seems absurd.
I'm not against small gestures, tips, etc. As I said, it's when you go above and beyond what is normal for you in your everyday experiences. If you are normally giving and generous, and that carries over, but doesn't go above and beyond then fine. If you're frugal but start unloading all your cash on an SP, there's a problem. If you don't have the funds, don't usually believe in giving just to give, aren't the type to treat your friends, and so on, then why give extra to a SP? It has already been said it won't get you anything extra, and we're all appreciated alike, so why would someone give extra if they aren't naturally generous, which I've already accounted for?
Edit to add: until he no longer has to pay you for your time, I don't believe an SP can put herself in the same category as friend even. So if he wouldn't gift another person who provides him with a paid service in a similar fashion, then I believe it's not from a healthy place. So perhaps even more stringent criteria than above/previous.
Helping those less fortunate feels good. Status. There is a theatre experience and mood is contagious, i.e. everyone laughing makes it that much better. Convenience, can't cook it at home, etc. None need to be "because I can".
"Because I can" lost it's validity when you stepped out of the sand box. People who lack introspection and accountability use that "argument"; it's a knee jerk reaction to a challenge/question you don't want to, or can't, meet/answer. Fine. But realize why you're using that argument and accept it. Just my opinion, as always.
How about we wait until the OP states exactly what he means before we jump to that conclusion?
The 'cost' of a product is absolute. 'Expensive' and 'inexpensive' are relative terms and are based on your emotions. A brand new Rolls Royce would be 'expensive' to most of us because its purchase price are relatively high versus our income and liquid assets. The exact same Rolls Royce is 'inexpensive' to the Sultan of Brunei or Bill Gates since the purchase price is relatively low versus their income and liquid assets. The monetary 'cost' of the car is exactly the same in either case.
