She will go, on average, about 2 weeks with staying inside. She will only shower once every 5 days, and she usually wont even get dressed. The longest she has stayed inside is 35 days straight.
Unhappy wife 100% of the time
- Thread starter freedomlover
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Fourteen years? Man, get out. I ain't judging, I hung in for 15. I know it can seem like leaving is worse...it isn't. You'll go through a tough bit, but it gets better, especially if you have a goo plan to make it better. Go for it.
oh my. and the counseling question? Might she be open to it, or might she hit you with a frying pan for even suggesting it?
Have you considered going yourself, for advice on how to help her?
Does she have any family or friends close by you can enlist to help?
Thanks man, I hear what you're saying. I feel like I want to give it one more shot. It's been two years now since we have been apart and I want to see if maybe we might be able to start fresh... just start spending time together. I miss having the whole family together.
I'm probably setting myself for a huge let down, and will get depressed about it, but I want to give it one last shot. I know it sounds crazy but maybe this time apart was something we needed.
Freedomlover, I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. However, given the caveat that I'm not a psychiatrist, this isn't normal behaviour at all.
I don't know but perhaps a conversation with first your family physician and if they agree with her relatives leading to some sort of intervention?
I truly am very sorry to learn this.
I don't know but perhaps a conversation with first your family physician and if they agree with her relatives leading to some sort of intervention?
I truly am very sorry to learn this.
She has severe mental health issues. 14 years proves it isn't just a passing mood. Tell her you'll dissappear if nothing changes (and be prepared to back it up). Walking out that door will be the hardest part, but use whatever support network you have to fall back on. Deal with the legalities later, just leave.
If she wont take ownership of her problem - and it is her problem, you're just in the crossfire - then you have to get out.
I've dealt with a parent with mental illness and it took me a long time to realize they were ill and not just extremely difficult. The big mistake is trying to be rational with someone who is not rational, who cannot see anyone else's point of view but their own skewed one. They will point the finger everywhere but at themselves. You'll jump through hoops forever and get nowhere and find yourself always humoring them and doing their will and compromising your life out of an unfair sense of guilt and obligation. When it is someone that close to you, they will take you down with them if you let them.
Repeat: Get out.
I've dealt with a parent with mental illness and it took me a long time to realize they were ill and not just extremely difficult. The big mistake is trying to be rational with someone who is not rational, who cannot see anyone else's point of view but their own skewed one. They will point the finger everywhere but at themselves. You'll jump through hoops forever and get nowhere and find yourself always humoring them and doing their will and compromising your life out of an unfair sense of guilt and obligation. When it is someone that close to you, they will take you down with them if you let them.
Repeat: Get out.
How much did the divorce cost you?
When it comes to relationships sexual loyalty only sets a guy up for a rude awakening years down the road.
There is an old saying.. "Nothing changes if nothing changes" Meaning that you have to start doing somethign different with how you talk to her or treat her in order to see any changes.. lol.. but i guess this is why all married people say "never get married" lol.
No divorce, since we had a common law relationship, we simply separated. We had separate bank accounts. So, nothing really, lucky for me.
I'm in a similar situation with my spouse. We get along 50% of the time but we have major disagreements the rest. She's a hard worker, not a sloucher or slacker but we've had no sex since Jun 2012. It was just way too much work and I always felt like I was asking her for a big favour to have sex or make love. When I tried to get close, she would remind me of some argument or something I said and it would destroy the mood....so she uses sex as a form of punishment. She says she doesn't like to have "sex", she wants to "make love".....Christ!....sometimes I just want to fuck and at other times make love......does it always have to be romantic? She always wears long tights to sleep saying that she is cold. It is such an unbelievable chore to coax her to remove them. She Has nice lingerie but never wears it. Tried counselling, that didn't work. That's when I gave up trying and started hobbying. I was loyal to her before that point last year and loved having sex (sorry, making love) with her. Once we went to the Old Mill for New Years and it was one of the best sex I've had.....she rode me CG and when we woke up in the morning discovered the bed had come away from the wall by over one foot! LOL....I've I've seen a lawyer and he said stay in the house (since it was paid for with all my money) but you can serve her to get her out. All I want right now is a post nuptial marriage contract but she didn't even respond to my request to do this by July this year. I'm considering the lawyer's suggestion. In retrospect, I would never have married this woman and I'm envious of those who are still single. Sorry for my rambling, just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.
move out. divorce lawyer. get a younger hotter gf/wife.
Here's my beef about women (esp the ones who stay at home and still act like bitches) theyre getting a free ride and dont even know it. Some of us girls are working really hard to try to make life comfortable for ourselves. Get rid of her. Let her go be a psycho in the real world and see how long that lasts. You may put up w her violence but other people wont.
Here's my beef about women (esp the ones who stay at home and still act like bitches) theyre getting a free ride and dont even know it. Some of us girls are working really hard to try to make life comfortable for ourselves. Get rid of her. Let her go be a psycho in the real world and see how long that lasts. You may put up w her violence but other people wont.
I don't understand any of this. Where is the balls to simply say fuck off with your bullshit. To me it sounds like she starts to bitch and he simply says "ok" I don't think I could ever be with such a passive man.
Go to a lawyer, find out your rights regarding house, kids, etc. Take everything that you can away from her. If it is your money, and she has access to it, stop that. Joint acct? Open a new single acct just for you. Keep all your own money. Buy only the basics in the house. Tell her you don't want to be with her anymore cause she is an angry violent selfish person. Treat her like the roommate that never leaves. She will get the message and either change her shit or find a new man online to move on to. Either way, be done with her. But you have to have the balls to do it.
Sorry if that is cruel but I never understood this with men.
Go to a lawyer, find out your rights regarding house, kids, etc. Take everything that you can away from her. If it is your money, and she has access to it, stop that. Joint acct? Open a new single acct just for you. Keep all your own money. Buy only the basics in the house. Tell her you don't want to be with her anymore cause she is an angry violent selfish person. Treat her like the roommate that never leaves. She will get the message and either change her shit or find a new man online to move on to. Either way, be done with her. But you have to have the balls to do it.
Sorry if that is cruel but I never understood this with men.
