told to change

[rgkv]

Can you not take critisism ? I have no idea what change she needs so I can’t be more specific on ways to approach other than divorce as you’re indicating.

Critisism I can take, and something I can deal with.. Being TOLD to change is another thing.. Not married, just building what I thought was going to be a relationship

 

[rgkv]

But you very much CAN.
this saying was said by a man who was stubborn and unwilling to tame his ego to save his relation.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the first dog trainer
was a woman and was inspired by this over quoted phrase.
you are a human man. Not a dog.
we are smarter than a dog and we are conscious.
that’s enough of an answer.

let me know if you feel the same about changing your ways when your in your 70's

 

[RZG]

dobbies are my hobbies.. and thats what I said " tough shit"

For clarities sake, you mean gardening or smoking joints? Doobies? Can`t see any woman getting pissy about planting hostas.

 

[RZG]

When you are 70+ one cannot change. My dad is 76 and you can tell him something a 1000 times, and he won't change. You have to accept at that point, not tell them to change. We'd be the same way at 70. It's just how it is. IMO.

I`m 66, not a chance I`d change anything for a woman. Keep my sovereignty, keep my wealth. I know about a dozen people 70+, all of `em are as flexible as a foot of #14 rebar.

 

[Sonic Temple]

and thats why i decided single is for me

 

[xmontrealer]

Grammatical correction : what “were” you before you met her?

Actually I had cleaned it up a bit grammatically.

The first time I heard it, with a bit of a Yiddish, accent was: "Vut vas you befoe you met 'er? Betta off!"

 

[rgkv]

For clarities sake, you mean gardening or smoking joints? Doobies? Can`t see any woman getting pissy about planting hostas.

well both really, I grow it in my garden, i roll it into dobbies... clear enough LOL

 

[y2kmark]

I knew it.. After being single for 20 years now, after meeting someone who I thought I was going to finnish out life with, it happens.. "You need to change"..she said to this 70+ man... who just happens to have a pretty good life, retired, finacialy secure and now remaing single

Assuming the subject wasn't your underwear !

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

Critisism I can take, and something I can deal with.. Being TOLD to change is another thing.. Not married, just building what I thought was going to be a relationship

Well has she asked you to change and you let it go through the ears ? Did you agree to begin with? were these what she clearly laid out as being her limits for a relationship? Everyone has their own set of nice to haves and must haves. Their own ethical and moral outlines and everyone in every relationship- personal and professional - need to decide where to give and take.

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

Assuming the subject wasn't your underwear !

If so , he could be the man who used a
sp towel to wipe his dirty butt and flush it (story found somewhere in the lounge forum)

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

let me know if you feel the same about changing your ways when your in your 70's

I’m very into the self improvement realm and work for a health company ….
no one said it would be easy- you evolve /adapt or you die (quicker/different than imagined (Ie alone?)

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

Actually I had cleaned it up a bit grammatically.

The first time I heard it, with a bit of a Yiddish, accent was: "Vut vas you befoe you met 'er? Betta off!"

Thanks bubby

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

Ah, to stay 10 for
34 years !

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

I`m 66, not a chance I`d change anything for a woman. Keep my sovereignty, keep my wealth. I know about a dozen people 70+, all of `em are as flexible as a foot of #14 rebar.

But would you change for a man?

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

Reminds of the Red Green man’s prayer:

I‘m a man
But I can change
If I have to…
I guess…

Just add

”On second thought…nah.”

try the serenity prayer instead

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

well both really, I grow it in my garden, i roll it into dobbies... clear enough LOL

it wasn’t clear …

 

[Muchadoaboutnothing]

When you are 70+ one cannot change. My dad is 76 and you can tell him something a 1000 times, and he won't change. You have to accept at that point, not tell them to change. We'd be the same way at 70. It's just how it is. IMO.

Maybe he needs hearing aids ? Men and women start to have different abilities to hear the opposite sex tone of voice so
this could help
it’s only that way because we allow it to be.
the change starts with me and you

 

[rgkv]

WOW!!! just goes to show you.. I sent my friend an email telling her I would drop off next week some garments she had left at my place.. also mentioned the word US, " THERE IS NO US, NEVER WAS< I AM MOVING ON BY MYSELF. please drop my stuff off next weekend" I said ok but next weekend I am off on a dive trip for a week..Something I booked the day after NO US.. "WHAT!! she said, why didnt you tell me, I could have gone with you" Blow my mind

 

[Nickelodeon]

Let me do a bit of parsing here. Based on the last post, she still wants you and would go diving. That's pretty cool if you're into each other.

The other issue is the "dobbie". As a long time reformed doper, now that's it legal, I find the smell of marijuana everywhere and it triggers the same reaction in me as tobacco smoke... I personally find it a disgusting odor/aroma...whatever. So I can see how others might have the same reaction. Smelly second hand smoke.

But if it's an important part of your lifestyle, identity, health benefits, etc. this might be irreconcilable.

 

[Ponderling]

Just switch to THC/CBD drinks and gummies.
And get the same buzz, but no doobie smell or smoke that chides your lady pal.

Then ask her what she is prepared to give up/change that irks you.
That will be the most definitive test of if there is a long term relationship here.