I suspect that most relationships evolve into a committed one well after there's already been lots of fucking.
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Realizations after seeing your first SP?
- Thread starter Orangebook
- Start date
I'm sorry you haven't had the experience of being in a committed and loving relationship....some people stay in the cave and never see what's on the outside.
So you have waited months, maybe even a year before having sex. That is the minimum amount of time at the very least before one can say they are in love and committed.
Anything else just lust in the honeymoon period.
No one said anything about waiting to have sex. And can we really set a minimum amount of time before people are in a loving and committed relationship? I can count too many people I know in "relationships" that they seem to hate and kills their energy. You can be in a relationship for 10 years + and feel like your trapped the whole time....those aren't loving and committed relationships.
So if you like anal and your wife doesn’t, are you in a loving relationship if you get it elsewhere or refrain or pressure the wife to just do it?
Then you missed what he said. He said that sex happens first.
Being into anal but your partner not enjoying it does not mean you are not in a loving relationship. Loving relationships usually entail solid communication...I have not met someone that considers themselves as not being in a loving relationship for the sole reason that their partner does not enjoy anal (most woman don't ENJOY it tbh).
If you are in a loving relationship, would you really pressure your partner into doing it when you know full well they don't enjoy it? I would assume most would just refrain from doing it altogether or make some sort of compromise to get their needs met without making their partner feel comfortable. I've been in a couple committed and loving relationships in my life where my partner didn't enjoy certain acts. It's never crossed my mind that I was not in a loving relationship by the fact that I liked doing X when she did not....these relationships are SOO much more than specific sexual acts.
if someone's sexual impulses are so strong/extreme that they cannot get any sexual satisfaction from their partner if they don't do anal, I don't have an answer for that. But I would never draw a conclusion about a relationship strictly based on what sexual acts take place vs. those that don't.
But if he gets anal from an escort, the sex could end up being so much better. Because sexually he is getting what he needs. His relationship has nothing to do with it.
You're saying if the sex is better then he is not in a loving relationship. You are being judgmental and quite frankly, wrong I think personally.
No I'm not. The OP asked people if they had any breakthroughs after seeing an escort. I was describing the feedback I had from my experience...not that my experience was universal and is the "right" answer. I'm not saying anything you are suggesting at all. I was only saying sex with an escort will never match the quality of sex in a loving and committed relationship based on my experience. If there are people who are in loving relationships (based on their construction of what that looks like) and think having sex with escorts is better, there is nothing wrong with that experience, it just doesn't match mine.
Have you ever been in a loving relationship? What did it look like? But this time, try answering without the ad hominem attacks.
So only people who remain in that relationship for the rest of their lives are loving and committed. People can be in love and committed for 10 years but then break up because they fall out of love and feel trapped after those 10 years, which according to you disqualifies them. And what kind of moron would stay in a relationship for 10 years feeling trapped the whole time.
You're now 2 for 2 for ridiculous comments.
Hey dumbass, stop reading into my posts. I never said anything you are suggesting. Where did I say people have to remain in a relationship for the rest of their lives for it to be loving and committed? When did I define what a loving relationship actually is? It sounds like you have some unresolved trauma. I only wish that things improve and you start to think more optimistically. In my experience, a loving relationship helps. But if you prefer to see an escort so that she helps you "feel" like you are in love or to obtain sexual gratification, then go right ahead.
Yet you told someone you are sorry they have never experienced a loving relationship.....
Based on his opinion. So Sorry but I call bullshit on not being judgmental
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Try that again in english? I responded to the OPs post with my feedback after seeing an escort. It's clear you didn't like my response; who's the one being judgemental? The post was never about you, for you, or asked for your feedback (unless you have something to share about YOU seeing an escort).
I attacked your comment, not your character. That's exact opposite of an ad hominen attack. I said that your comment was ridiculous.
Ad hominem
adverb:
in a way that is directed against a person rather than the position they are maintaining.
And your assumption that because I enjoy sex with escorts and SBs (people that I hardly know) more than you do means that I've never been in a loving and committed relationship is probably more of a ridiculous comment and assumption than your previous one, bordering on being an outright stupid assumption because you have no basis for it other than your personal preference of whom to have sex with. You know absolutely nothing about me. Not everybody has the same tastes. If you like blondes and somebody else likes brunettes what assumptions do you make about them and their personal history. That's what you did with me. (Please note, once again I attacked your comment, not the substance of who you are.)
I'll be more than happy to politely and unsarcastically address your query upon reception of an apology for you accusing me of something that I proved does not apply. But it's not my fault that you are so sensitive that you took it as a personal attack because I disagreed with your opinion. People like that are called snowflakes. (Now there, simply for your education, is an ad hominem attack. Do you see the difference?)
Awaiting your apology, not that I'm expecting one.
Blah blah blah.
It is a public thread. I'm allowed to comment whether you like it or not. You TOLD someone that they must not have had a loving and committed relationship because he thinks that you can have better sex with a stranger then a partner. That was judgmental.
It is not about liking or disliking your post. It simply about calling out judgment on the board. There should be none on this forum regarding people's feelings on seeing escorts. This is suppose to be a safe space and you are being judgmental. Period.
and if you really want me to relate this back to me, I have saved a lot loving relationships because I’m available for amazing sex with strangers.
You edited your initial comment on my post to change the context, which is what opened up this whole can of worms. No, you won't receive an apology from me, you dumbass (no, I will not apologize for saying that either)! Stick to the forum topic!
