So, I'm in the PotatoHead Pub watching the Vegas game and getting chummy with nude server Vicky. Once again she mentioned "service under the table". She said "rent the private room and feel free to bring a few friends."
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Oh shit. One of the suspects was giving my assistant a hard time. So he called in the outside expert. The dude off screen is ex-KBG.
SWAT arrived but they held back until they thought it was safe to go in ("the Uvalde Principle"). I refused to wait and ran in and neutralized the rifle person. My lawyer said I am not allowed to say rifleperson's ethnicity and/or gender other than rifleperson is a human being.
The media is calling me a hero. I'm not a hero. Just an overworked, underpaid mall cop doing his job. The mayor called and said I will be given the key to the city. The owner of the mall wants to see me and thank me personally. MLSE gave me season's tickets for one year but not including playoffs. The PotatoHead Pub offering me free drinks for a year. The spa offering me free massages for a year. All Thrills grocery store offering me free groceries for a year.
I am presently in the PotatoHead Pub chatting up Miss Vicky.
Now that the gun person has been apprehended (although will probably be out on bail soon) and no innocent people were hurt, life at the mall has returned to "normal".
Took a walk around the parking lot earlier this morning. Saw this woman get out of her car.
Me: Ma'am, why you naked?
Naked woman: Don't ask.
Me: Ok, but you should cover up.
Took a walk around the parking lot earlier this morning. Saw this woman get out of her car.
Me: Ma'am, why you naked?
Naked woman: Don't ask.
Me: Ok, but you should cover up.
Just finished interviewing Selena for the security guard job. She is ex-LE. Speaks Spanish which should come in handy when interacting with our growing Latino population.
My last interview for the day is with Ashley a 21 year old college student who thinks it's fun to be an MPA until she goes back to school in September. She came to the interview with her mom.
Me: Are you comfortable working naked?
Ashley: Absolutely.
Me: Do you have any experience with HJ?
Ashley: A bit.
Me: Do you have any experience with BBBJ?
Ashley: A bit. The MP told me no experience necessary.
Me: Are you comfortable working naked?
Ashley: Absolutely.
Me: Do you have any experience with HJ?
Ashley: A bit.
Me: Do you have any experience with BBBJ?
Ashley: A bit. The MP told me no experience necessary.
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I'm going to Aiden's place to watch the Vegas game to-night. On the way I saw a hitchhiker and offered her a lift.
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Got to Aiden's place a few minutes before the game started.
Aiden: You're a bit late. That's ok. I'm running late as well, that's why I'm not dressed yet.
Me: I offered a lift to a hitchhiker. You're fine. Don't bother getting dressed.
Aiden: You're a bit late. That's ok. I'm running late as well, that's why I'm not dressed yet.
Me: I offered a lift to a hitchhiker. You're fine. Don't bother getting dressed.
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Interviewed Emily for the MPA job earlier this morning.
Me: Are you ok doing HJ and/or BBBJ?
Emily: Yes, allow me to show you.
Me: Are you ok doing HJ and/or BBBJ?
Emily: Yes, allow me to show you.
No NHL playoff games to-night. I'm hanging out in the PotatoHead Pub flirting with Vicky. She said her shift ends at 9:30PM and would like to meet me in my office afterwards since there's no one around at that time of night.
True to her word, Vicky showed up in my office a bit after 9:30PM.
Me: Glad you made it.
Vicky: I said I was coming.
Me: So, what next?
Vicky: The "inevitable"
(After the "inevitable", I drove Vicky home being the perfect gentleman.).
Me: Glad you made it.
Vicky: I said I was coming.
Me: So, what next?
Vicky: The "inevitable"
(After the "inevitable", I drove Vicky home being the perfect gentleman.).
I gave this hitchhiker a lift on my way in this morning. Always willing to help a damsel needing help.
Took a walk around the parking lot. Had to tell this young lady "no peeing on mall property".
