I have always believed the person that made the invitation should pay, if I suggest a date then I should pay and if he invites me then he should pay. I generally won't go on a second date with someone that splits the bill, I find sitting there calculating each individuals costs ruins a perfectly good evening. It's also important to me that my date allow me to pick up the cheque at times, if we are looking towards building a relationship then it should start with the two of us being contributing members.
While the above is perfectly logical , and I certainly agree that life is way too short to be splitting bills, the difficulty arises when the woman suggests the date. Few are as forward thinking as you I'm guessing and a majority still expect to be treated.
As far as the Adenalines question ( which didn't mention internet dating - a whole other ball of wax) I'll be blunt. Unless it has been expressly discussed before you should pay the bill. Otherwise you come across as cheap or worse.
I still believe that if the woman invites the man out she should be expected to pick up the cheque, I realize this may not always happen but at that point it's up to you to decide if this is someone you are interested in pursuing further.
I agree internet dating is a whole different thing, if you are meeting someone online and this is a first meet then suggest an interesting activity that might not cost a lot, something where you will enjoy yourself even if you don't click romantically, eg. walking your dog together, going for a bike ride, volunteering with a charity; basically something that you enjoy anyway and that you might enjoy sharing with someone else.
By splitting the bill, I mean splitting it in 2, not calculating what each person ordered, that's a bit ridiculous.
Also, going on a date is mutual, both parties agreed to go out, so if you suggest to a guy that you should go out, you shouldn't be paying for him. I'd never let a woman pay for my meal, even if I'm not into her. I'd gladly let her pay for herself, but definitely wouldn't mooch off of her and let her pay for me.
In general I find the whole "you owe" this much isn't much of a team builder, there is no partnership in the idea of this is yours and this is mine. Rather I find it much better to just allow one person, male or female, to pick up the tab and then for it to be reciprocated on the next meal/date/outing. No it doesn't always work out even but if you are in a relationship and keeping score on how much one person spends vs. the other then you are likely to have further issues down the line with who contributes what.
If you think in corporate terms a date is like team building, you are more likely to be helpful and engaging when you feel your contributions are valued and that is easiest to do by "treating" one person and saying thanks.
If one person ends the date with "please let me get this, I really enjoyed my night and just wanted to say thanks for coming with me" the next person feels important and appreciated. In turn the other person can either say "you're welcome and I had a great time too, if you'd like to do this again let me take you out" or perhaps "I am really enjoying our night as well, if you would like to please let me take you for a drink elsewhere". This way both parties are contributing but as a team rather than by saying this is yours and this is mine.
In my experience always splitting down the middle ends up leaving one partner keeping score, either because they feel under-appreciated, that they are always paying a larger portion than they wanted or that the person that selects the venue doesn't take into account the budget restrictions of the other party. If you invite someone out then you can tailor the date to your budget and pick up the tab, then allow them to do the same where they select something appropriate to their interests and budget.
