NSNC What’s going on in Ottawa/Gatineau region. A provider point of view.

[asspirate]

There are many great viewpoints and thought out alternatives written herein.

We are all well aware that there is never a solution that pleases absolutely everyone. It is the same here in this thread.

From what I've read here, the solution of providing either a deposit (in whichever form suits both parties) OR a referral would seem to offer a solution to all but the newest of the new punters or those reluctant to provide either.

I say this because it would expose the scammers demanding only a deposit. If they will not accept a referral, then odds are quite good that they are simply scamming for the sake of the deposit.

As stated above, no solution is perfect, so, of course, there will be some SW's that only accept a deposit as an option, so this could alienate a few. Perhaps, they can adjust?

I still believe, if we can expose the scammers, everyone will be better off in the longer run.

Maybe one reason why there will never be a solution is because the majority of clients and SWs are not aware there are problems and people trying to find a solution.

A possible solution could be that clients willing to pay deposits can book any escorts. But clients that are not willing to pay a deposit only book escorts that don't require deposits?

 

[asspirate]

I mentioned in my first post as well as Ruby, that gift cards (Uber, Amazon etc) can be sent anonymously to our email address for discretion. Or at a very last resort the client can obtain a gift card from shoppers or a gas station and send us a photo of the code presented on the back of the card to input into our Amazon account. Many are happy to send us gift cards as an alternative for email transfers.

My comment was for your comments on references. I do appreciate your suggestions

 

[withpassion]

Maybe one reason why there will never be a solution is because the majority of clients and SWs are aware there are problems and people try to find a solution.

A possible solution could be that clients willing to pay deposits can book any escorts. But clients that are not willing to pay a deposit only book escorts that don't require deposits?

First, I did say that I love your site name! It makes me chuckle every time I see it! I mean that in a very good way!

Second, I did not want to reiterate everything written in this thread. Yes, the bottom line is that there are a multitude of variations.

Seeing escorts that do not require a deposit (or a referral) is a given as an alternative and, really, they would be more affected by the NSNC perspective.

 

[asspirate]

First, I did say that I love your site name! It makes me chuckle every time I see it! I mean that in a very good way!

Second, I did not want to reiterate everything written in this thread. Yes, the bottom line is that there are a multitude of variations.

Seeing escorts that do not require a deposit (or a referral) is a given as an alternative and, really, they would be more affected by the NSNC perspective.

Sorry I quoted just in continuation. I wasn't trying to tell you.

And my ex used to call me like that, that's where it's from

 

[withpassion]

Sorry I quoted just in continuation. I wasn't trying to tell you.

And my ex used to call me like that, that's where it's from

Got it and love it! Haha!

An ex who calls you that is very cool in my books!

 

[gibarian]

Back off!
I've spoken with itd about this. He doesn't want to go any further. Leave it alone.

If he continues to post unverified and unconvincing tales of being ripped off by unidentified sex workers (and does so with the express purpose of calling into question the validity of the practice of collecting deposits) I will continue to challenge him. I couldn't care less what the two of you gossip about in private.

Incidentally, here's another apparent cry of wolf (with -- as expected -- no receipts and no attribution):

https://terb.cc/xenforo/threads/money-saved.732450/#post-6896917

Great response StillROAMing!.

I really cannot understand the constant venom.

I've explained my position clearly, and it's a simple position: when a client comes into a thread about NSNC and posts a tall tale about being ripped off, with the express purpose of causing damage to the idea that sending deposits is a safe practice, they deserve to be pressed for details.

The short answer to your question is to protect myself. That's the only answer I'm going to give on a public review board. Anyone who knows this business can fairly easily understand where I am coming from. The fact that you can't makes me question your agenda - and I'm far from the first person to do that.

If you or anyone else chooses not to believe me, go ahead, that's your choice. As you point out, my 700+ posts provide a track record so others can easily evaluate where I'm coming from.

I'm not sure why I would make this up. When providers come on here and start a thread, I try to contribute meaningfully. I gave my honest experience and thoughts on the topic and did my best to add to the conversation. Up until your post, I thought this thread was quite civil and useful - sadly rather rare on terb. I wish providers would come on here more often but I think what often stops them is how threads degenerate into toxicity too quickly. Let's not degenerate another thread.

You could post screenshots of the conversations that led to your supposed robberies with names edited out, and there would be no chance of blowback. You could post a general description of what happened to you (something that amounts to a more credible telling than "Damn boys, I sent several thousand dollars in deposits and they were all stolen!! The end."). The fact that you can't do these things makes you an unreliable source of information.

The motivation for a person to make something like that up or to exaggerate would be to contribute to the anti-deposit discourse. That's not a stretch. People signal boost the things they believe in or the things they want to happen all the time.

And to your last point, I think providers would find this board much more tolerable if every thread like this didn't result in clients like you trying to talk over their concerns and make immediate counterpoints. Instead of simply empathizing with someone suffering from NSNC's and leaving it at that, someone always has to come in squawking "Well, we suffer tooooooo!". Even if your story is true, which I obviously question, do you honestly think it's worth sharing, or applicable to the vast majority of people engaged in sending and/or receiving deposits? I sent more in deposits during 2020 than you "lost," and they all led to successful, enjoyable bookings. That's what usually happens when a companion collects deposits.

 

[dynomyte]

Gibarian,
The OP said clearly in the first line of her post that she was seeking the client perspective on this issue. These guys are giving the OP what she sought. For you to say that they are talking over the SWers concerns is flat out wrong for this thread as they are specifically addressing it.

What happened to Allison is horrible and should never happen but the thread, as presented by Allison, was to get the client perspective on the issue. That some will undoubtedly empathize with her situation, she seemed to be seeking an honest perspective first and foremost.

What I am getting from this thread is that there are some who do not mind sending a deposit and others who refuse to do so. Any SWer is well within their rights to request or even require a deposit and any client has the right to refuse to send one. If the two sides are on the same page then good for them. However, if they are not, then they move on and find someone who is. NSNC is a scumbag move as is ghosting and double booking. Most seem to agree with that. But both of these moves have lead to a response from people. Some SWers require a deposit as a result and some clients refuse to send them.

It's about trust IMO and it is hard to trust someone you have not met or have only met a few times. It is even harder to trust people when you have some in this industry NSNC or ghosting maliciously.

 

[Taraparker]

My comment was for your comments on references. I do appreciate your suggestions

This is a complete non issue. You’re contacting a sex worker, she doesn’t care if you see other sex workers, and if she does she shouldn’t be an escort

Having a reference is to verify if you’re a safe and reliable client you’re not applying for a job. A reference check is a method of screening that is a compromise to sending us your real world ID, which many opt for by the way.

 

[asspirate]

This is a complete non issue. You’re contacting a sex worker, she doesn’t care if you see other sex workers, and if she does she shouldn’t be an escort

Having a reference is to verify if you’re a safe and reliable client you’re not applying for a job. A reference check is a method of screening that is a compromise to sending us your real world ID, which many opt for by the way.

Non issue to you.
You're looking at it only from a SW point of view.
Read what I wrote again
"I think many GUYS don't want to be known as guys that see many SWs."
There's also being identified by association that comes in play.

 

[Taraparker]

Non issue to you.
You're looking at it only from a SW point of view.
Read what I wrote again
"I think many GUYS don't want to be known as guys that see many SWs."
There's also being identified by association that comes in play.

I’m confused. You’re worried that escorts are going to judge you for seeing their colleagues? We actually do not care who you see and how many of us you see. I think we are more concerned on what type of person you are in session and if you are safe. It’s more of a red flag when you refuse to screen, or lie and say it’s your first time. We are still discreet when we are asking for references we don’t go in to detail and are respectful. Usually the reference goes ‘Joe was great. He was on time, hygienic, and respectful. I would not hesitate to see him again’. Super vague and I don’t see what the problem is with the reference route unless you’re a problem client and have something to worry about.

 

[kennedy1963]

Have never NSNC.
I think the 1 hour before should be mandatory; add 2-4 hrs if appt made days earlier. Approx location need be known to adjust driving time.
Wish approx location was in all ads
Generally don't expect exact location until very close
So 1 hr confirm, then 5-10 min before for exact details.
I don't have a problem providing any security check I'm asked for. I only see respected well known local ladies
Thanks Ali for bringing this subject forward.

 

[source]

No-show is something that I really don't want in my report card. It's happened that I had to cancel bookings at a MP, but even if I knew that I was more or less incognito, I made a point in calling asap the spa to cancel. I always received sincere thanks from the receptionist, manager or whoever.

Once I had time scheduled with an escort and my phone rang as I was just a few minutes from her incall place. I had to turn around, but as soon as I could, I called her to apologize. No need to give an excuse, I'm sure she has heard every excuse imaginable from others in the past and won't really care about mine.

When things did settle down at my end and I had time, I sent her half of the agreed amount, apologizing for her loss. She replied by email thanking me and she will simply apply the amount on a future session.

I'm doing my best to be OK with ladies in the industry, and it cheeses me off a that I may have to pay in advance because of some disrespectful morons. It may even make me think twice before booking.

 

[gharamlifter]

Have any of the girls ITT mentioned that some of the NSNC's are trolling from their rivals?

many SPs have told me that some girls do this.

 

[gibarian]

Gibarian,
The OP said clearly in the first line of her post that she was seeking the client perspective on this issue. These guys are giving the OP what she sought. For you to say that they are talking over the SWers concerns is flat out wrong for this thread as they are specifically addressing it.

What happened to Allison is horrible and should never happen but the thread, as presented by Allison, was to get the client perspective on the issue. That some will undoubtedly empathize with her situation, she seemed to be seeking an honest perspective first and foremost.

What I am getting from this thread is that there are some who do not mind sending a deposit and others who refuse to do so. Any SWer is well within their rights to request or even require a deposit and any client has the right to refuse to send one. If the two sides are on the same page then good for them. However, if they are not, then they move on and find someone who is. NSNC is a scumbag move as is ghosting and double booking. Most seem to agree with that. But both of these moves have lead to a response from people. Some SWers require a deposit as a result and some clients refuse to send them.

It's about trust IMO and it is hard to trust someone you have not met or have only met a few times. It is even harder to trust people when you have some in this industry NSNC or ghosting maliciously.

Yeah, but "I've been ripped off by people who ask for deposits" isn't a perspective on NSNC. It's a perspective on deposits. And, as usual, someone turned up to interject that they don't like deposits, and turned the thread into yet another conversation about that.

Have any of the girls ITT mentioned that some of the NSNC's are trolling from their rivals?

many SPs have told me that some girls do this.

Probably insignificant compared to the number of actual clients who are doing it.

A lot of providers ignore messages from texting apps, so in order for someone to do what you're suggesting they'd have to have a legitimate separate phone number (that would only work once, before getting blocked for being a NSNC).

 

[TigerFlex5]

Yeah, but "I've been ripped off by people who ask for deposits" isn't a perspective on NSNC. It's a perspective on deposits. And, as usual, someone turned up to interject that they don't like deposits, and turned the thread into yet another conversation about that.

Respectfully, I desagree with your statement, the 2 perspectives are related. The deposit had been put in place by providers mostly because of the NSNC and timewasters. So if you want to make a conversation about one, you must address the other one too.

Probably insignificant compared to the number of actual clients who are doing it.

A lot of providers ignore messages from texting apps, so in order for someone to do what you're suggesting they'd have to have a legitimate separate phone number (that would only work once, before getting blocked for being a NSNC).

Honestly, you would be surprise, the number of girls that do that. I recently had a good conversation about it with 2 MA in a spa, talking about other girls that do that... That's why that whole dimension of NSNC is very frustrating because honnest clients have to pay for the assholes clients AND the girls who want a revenge for whatever problems they can have with other providers.

 

[boomboom]

Have any of the girls ITT mentioned that some of the NSNC's are trolling from their rivals?

many SPs have told me that some girls do this.

yes, I have heard the same.... 1 showed me a couple of ghost bookings that were other SP who advt on LL & not on TERB.
also to the comment from theredmilf, I heard the same that a couple of SP's no longer travel to ottawa because of ghosting.

 

[dynomyte]

Yeah, but "I've been ripped off by people who ask for deposits" isn't a perspective on NSNC. It's a perspective on deposits. And, as usual, someone turned up to interject that they don't like deposits, and turned the thread into yet another conversation about

You really seem to want to control where this conversation goes for some reason, but the OP acknowledges that NSNC, screening, and deposits are all interconnected deposits and she acknowledged that deposits are often a results of providers dealing with NSNC. The OP brought the topic up so why do you get to come in and hijack the thread to tell people what they can and cannot talk about?

In my opinion, the entire discussion ( with the exception of addressing what can and cannot be discussed in this thread) is informative and helpful. Both sides (SWers and clients) have an opportunity it to express themselves and understand each other on a significant issue in this industry. Most are offering perspective and clarity and have been rather respectful. For me, this has been one of the better uses of this forum.

 

[Taraparker]

There are different kinds of screening so you'd have to ask me what kind of screening you're talking about. For some girls screening is "send me a copy of your gov't issued ID" - no way. For some it's "show me you're Linked In page" - I don't have one. I used to and came to the conclusion that Linked In was a silly idea. For some, it's "give me a reference from another escort." Sure. I'd do that if I were interested in seeing someone and that was their screening method. For some, it's something as simple as looking at a guy's terb account. Here it is.

Tara, I fully understand the challenges you girls face in this business and I understand why some want deposits and or other kinds of screening. One of my best friends (sadly, we've lost contact for a couple of years now) was a girl I met as part of an escort-client relationship that budded into a very close (not romantic or intimate) real-life friendship. She told me lots about this industry. I learned a lot from her about how tough this business can be. One of my best friends now is a woman who used to be involved in this business and who may be going back into it. She's shared a lot with me. Plus I've been involved as a client for 20+ years so I kind of know the industry from both sides. As I said, I don't begrudge any girl who decides she needs deposits or strict screening. It's just that for personal comfort level and discretion I'm not interested in sending electronic deposits or certain types of screening information. I prefer to be anonymous and any type of screening that involves my bank account and/or credit cards is a no go for me, as is screening that would actually divulge too much personal information.

I saw Allison's post on Twitter as well (it was retweeted by someone I follow) and one of the responses from a guy was "if you want this to be cash only go after street walkers" or something like that. Which is ridiculous, and it's a part of the industry I have never and would never indulge in. No judgment on the girls that do it but there's too much potential that they're being forced into it and controlled or that they're underage and I would be sickened if I found out that I had taken part in that. So my choices have always been reputable indies or agency girls - in recent years almost always agency girls because most indies want deposits or screening. That would actually make "give a reference" tough because most agency girls don't do that as far as I know, although I've never asked.

Good luck to you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 2021's gotta be better than 2020! Peace!

I specifically asked if you have a glowing reference, not your identification or your terb handle. Since you’ve only seen agency girls I guess you don’t have a reference? But you would see independents if you did? Also it’s the other way around independents don’t take references from agency girls. Anyway I am a bit confused with your reply.

Also, you mention that you are not interested with sending money from your personal bank account as reason to not send a deposit. In my post that you commented on I mentioned gift cards. Gift cards are anonymous, sent my email, haven’t had many problems yet. So now that there’s anonymous ways to send a deposit would you consider it?

 

[JohnnyFever]

It's a discretion issue for me, not money, but the gift card idea is a good one. I tend to be a last minute booker because I never want to have to cancel an appointment last minute, but I'll use that option if it's available.

 

[Taraparker]

What you said was "May I ask if you screen? Do you have glowing references available for providers to perhaps ease their apprehension?" As I said the first question ("if I screen") is a general question which I answered in general terms. It would depend on the kind of screening. As to "glowing references" I wouldn't have one for you based on your criteria. For more than two years I've seen one girl. I see her regularly. She's an agency girl. I treat her well; she treats me well. I have no interest in seeing anyone else. As for gift cards, if you looked at the very next post you'd have seen me thanking you for mentioning a way I could do a gift card while using only cash. I don't understand your confusion. If my answers don't relate to your personal screening requirements, that's likely because I'm not really addressing your requirements specifically. I'm engaging the thread and I've been trying to be as respectful and as detailed as possible in response to you to engage the subject matter of the thread. Sorry if it doesn't come across that way. No harm intended, and if I somehow offended you I apologize. I'll bow out. Again - Marry Christmas and Happy New Year!

not offended, was just trying to understand your post better. Miscommunication is all.

Merry Christmas to you as well!