NSNC What’s going on in Ottawa/Gatineau region. A provider point of view.

gibarian

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2019
266
375
63
Look at this thread, it was going great until you decided to start picking bones. Every off topic post (and it’s true some made about you were inappropriate) was a result of what you started. Had you never posted on this thread, there would have been no problems. Members who have been on this board for awhile have seen this patten with you over and over. We are well aware of the number of threads that have been deleted once you get involved.
There would have been no problems from your perspective, sure. From my perspective you would have gotten away with gaslighting Alison about the viability of moving to a deposit-based system. Go back and look at the first page, where you make the bizarre claim that the moderators are deleting posts that speak negatively about deposits (implying that there's this enormous silent majority of clients unable to speak their mind about being anti-deposit). And then going on to tell your story (the moral of which was clearly intended to be that a client can't trust anyone with their deposit, not even the most popular companion in Ontario).

Second, it’s not just what you do, it’s how you do it. Take a look through your posting history and look at how you speak to people. You are often unnecessarily abrasive, condescending and dismissive. It’s true, others have been rude to you, but it’s a result of what you start - usually when others get tired and annoyed by your inability to let things go, and finally take a shot back at you.

You portray yourself as this “pro SP” good guy and the rest of us as the opposite. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s insulting to see you go on about how great you are and imply the rest of us are disrespectful of providers, etc. It’s true there have been jerks on here over the years but that definitely isn’t everyone. Many of us are very supportive and appreciative of providers.
I don't "portray" myself as anything -- I discuss specific practices that I support, based on secondhand knowledge gained from listening to sex workers explain the value of those practices. If you believe that supporting those practices makes somebody a good guy, maybe you should consider supporting them too.

Also, let's get something straight -- the jerks and misogynists you've mentioned are the same people I was getting into bitter arguments with. They're the people I was abrasive to. Most of you tolerated them for years before the board decided to crack down on their toxicity (which TERB only did after being called out over and over again by providers on Twitter). And while I was arguing with those now-banned misogynists (and developing this reputation you're now trying to throw in my face) most of you stood by chuckling alongside them and taking the same stances they did.

Don't try to retcon the history of the last year and act like this was a friendly, pro-SW board where everybody got along. It wasn't until people got "abrasive" that the garbage got taken out.
 

KTDoy

Active member
Oct 29, 2006
108
83
28
I didn't know so many politicians are on this board :) :) Give it a rest fellows. It is a hobby and you should enjoy it as opposed to letting it ruining your life.
 
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itd131

Active member
Sep 16, 2006
798
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From my perspective you would have gotten away with gaslighting Alison
I don’t think you know what gaslighting is. BTW, at the time I spoke with Alison privately and provided more context.
Alison - if you have any issue with anything I have said, please let me know and I will delete it.

Go back and look at the first page, where you make the bizarre claim that the moderators are deleting posts that speak negatively about deposits
It’s not a bizarre claim, it’s forum rule #11. You can easily ask a mod for clarification.

Also, let's get something straight -- the jerks and misogynists you've mentioned are the same people I was getting into bitter arguments with.
Can’t agree - I’m not a jerk or misogynist and you are arguing bitterly with me.

Most of you tolerated them for years before the board decided to crack down on their toxicity (which TERB only did after being called out over and over again by providers on Twitter). And while I was arguing with those now-banned misogynists (and developing this reputation you're now trying to throw in my face) most of you stood by chuckling alongside them and taking the same stances they did.Don't try to retcon the history of the last year and act like this was a friendly, pro-SW board where everybody got along. It wasn't until people got "abrasive" that the garbage got taken out.
I'm not saying this board is perfect lol (I have been vocal in the past about poor behaviour on here) but let's not pretend this is about you taking on a few bad apples!

KTDoy - I'm sorry, I couldn't resist standing up for myself but I will take your advice. I promise I am done. Thanks for being a voice of reason.
 
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Nesbot

Well-known member
Jan 25, 2016
2,086
1,152
113
I apologize for engaging as well. Sometimes I can’t keep quiet if I see something is unfair.

I truly value the perspective of the providers here and would really encourage more.

For example - Tara spoke of a way to provide gift cards anonymously. I would definitely be open to that idea given a rapport and trust with an SP. if there are truly anonymous ways of doing this, I would definitely welcome it, if it allowed me to open up my options of companions.

If it would also help SPs mitigate the risk of NCNS, then it’s a win-win in my book.
 

Theredmilf

Ruby Lust, The Red MILF
Dec 9, 2016
583
1,092
93
Ottawa / Gatineau
Have any of the girls ITT mentioned that some of the NSNC's are trolling from their rivals?

many SPs have told me that some girls do this.
This is sadly true, a percentage of fake bookers are coming from either spas or other SWs. Most are supporting one another but there are those competitive individuals & agencies who treat this industry as more of a hustle or game where cheating is OK rather than a legit & professional business.

Those with a little experience under our belts can easily spot these industry fake inquiries though, they’re not particularly clever and set off red flags. I can’t speak for Alison, but I suspect she’s able to weed out those fake bookers for the most part and so we’re talking here about clients who no-show and how to craft policies to reduce these without putting off the clients we want to see.

My perspective, having worked different models and observed how others do things, is that asking for deposits increases reliability for both the client & the provider. It’s just easier to manage a schedule knowing who is coming & when ahead of time. If I only take walk-ins with a certain number flaking, I’d have to ensure a steady lineup which means the potential for screwups, double-bookings, delays (especially as so many are late) and all the corollary stress. It also means, if you want to be financially successful, working a riskier lower-pricing / high-volume business and having more bad dates. I’ve done it and this business model is, although profitable, also truly a nightmare of coordination leading to brain aneurism.

On the flip side, having scheduled prebookings with deposits means I’m more likely to be 100% reliable & on point for our session. And I just never get no shows now. Tara is right, without a deposit we deal with bullshit excuses like dog illnesses that magically evaporate with even a small gift card. There’s no more question of whether a booking is firm or not, expectations of followup reconfirmations and when that needs to happen. It’s all very clear for both sides and everyone is on time.

I know some are saying we’re leaving a lot of money on the table but I’m normally pretty booked precisely because my clients know they can count on me. Many are willing to pay a little more and ahead to ensure they have a great session with a discrete, consistently-reliable lady in a nice location. If I have time to fill, I might take a chance without a deposit on the odd same-day, but often I just take a regular who’s already demonstrated they’re trustworthy with prior behaviour & deposits. That’s were a willingness to bend pays off, you get on my A list and guess who I’m going to choose last-minute to see and maybe just waive the deposit. Just like any business, smart ladies focus on the best business and ones we jive with the most.

It’s really up to you guys who you want to see and where to spend your money but it does seem like a lot are choosing potentially dodgy and flakey situations rather than try and find a generally safe middle-ground. Why not dramatically reduce your chances of getting scammed, assaulted or being received with a bad attitude by seeing those who have a proven track-record? Yes, you might have to give a gift card or small deposit or screening the first time or until we know you’re reliable too. But you’re likely to avoid a lot of drama & dangerous situations. And in the end you’ll get to a nice place (like MikeO and others) where everyone will see you because you’re reputation is so solid there’s no question.

I know Alison well enough I would trust her with my own wallet. You should trust her too. In fact, I would personally make up the time to you for free if it ever happened. That’s how confident I am. So let’s stop fighting (save that for marriage) and find a peaceful middle-ground. Hugs & namaste.
 
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westcityside

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2020
541
514
93
Sending gift cards by email from a "hobbiest email account" as a deposit would be a very good norm to set for those who providers that require a deposit. The hobbiest can pay cash for the card and avoid any potential for ID leaks. The provider gets their deposit and loses the risk for time lost. I'm among the many who would never give my personal info to any provider, but I would consider this route. Ultimately, it's up to providers how they chose to run their business and it's up to hobbiests to chose what services they chose to consume. Business models change and savvy business owners will always be the ones who chose to change along with the times, to be one step ahead.
 

NadiaLovechanko

Well-known member
Jul 21, 2020
438
917
93
The NSNC is huge in Ottawa, I used to travel to Montreal all the time and never had an issue. It’s been so bad before covid I was seriously looking at moving away to Toronto. I have since placed screening (I am aware it’s not popular on this board) but I have almost none since.
Sadly with daycares and schools there will be a lot more last minute cancellations & people who might feel slightly under the weather wanting to play it safe. (I know I have cancled a lot more than normally this past year for the reasons above)

I find personally that screening has helped me feel safer during these times, almost no NSNC and keeps my turn over rate lower.

Everyone is different but I know most of my friends have left Ottawa to work elsewhere or people elsewhere refuse to tour here...
 

KTDoy

Active member
Oct 29, 2006
108
83
28
Sending gift cards by email from a "hobbiest email account" as a deposit would be a very good norm to set for those who providers that require a deposit. The hobbiest can pay cash for the card and avoid any potential for ID leaks. The provider gets their deposit and loses the risk for time lost. I'm among the many who would never give my personal info to any provider, but I would consider this route. Ultimately, it's up to providers how they chose to run their business and it's up to hobbiests to chose what services they chose to consume. Business models change and savvy business owners will always be the ones who chose to change along with the times, to be one step ahead.
^^^^ This.

As the owner of the business, you can employ whatever techniques you like to attract (or deter) the clients. There is no such things as fair business.
Personally I have used the gift card/pre-paid credit cards to pay for other stuffs on the Internet. It requires some leap of faith and big risk by the sender.
It is not about the email id , but how can you track down the scammers if they walk away with your hard earned $$. It's almost impossible.

I would not use it with touring SPs/MAs but will not have issues with local "established providers" if some ask. The key is the "established" and hence why we have this great forum to lean on. However, it will be one of the deciding factors whether I would pay a visit along with prices/location/services etc. Everyone makes their own call.
 

Nesbot

Well-known member
Jan 25, 2016
2,086
1,152
113
I would think it would be a great idea for a sticky or pinned topic or maybe just a regular post. Maybe somebody (with more time than me) can post a tutorial on anonymous gift cards/credit cards to send to providers as deposits.

There definitely IS a market for this in Ottawa. I am one who NEVER would have considered it, but now that an anonymous option is available I would. I work in the "IT sector" and you would be surprised by how much information is retained from regular online transactions. But this, seems viable to me. If I am open to it, I'm sure many Ottawa men are as well. And that may help to curb the NCNS issue that the providers have made known is prevalent in our city.

Just a thought. I'm an idea and logistics guy in civilian life. I hire the "doers" though. So suffice to say, it's something I would be down to contribute to if need be.
 

KittyCaterina

Kingston Gem
May 17, 2019
525
1,396
93
Kingston
www.kittycaterinaxo.com
The NSNC is huge in Ottawa, I used to travel to Montreal all the time and never had an issue. It’s been so bad before covid I was seriously looking at moving away to Toronto. I have since placed screening (I am aware it’s not popular on this board) but I have almost none since.
Sadly with daycares and schools there will be a lot more last minute cancellations & people who might feel slightly under the weather wanting to play it safe. (I know I have cancled a lot more than normally this past year for the reasons above)

I find personally that screening has helped me feel safer during these times, almost no NSNC and keeps my turn over rate lower.

Everyone is different but I know most of my friends have left Ottawa to work elsewhere or people elsewhere refuse to tour here...
Agreed.

I am from Ottawa and now work in Kingston and the GTA.

I have been back to Ottawa twice in 2020 and will likely not come back for work again.

Never have I experienced so many no shows, last minute cancellations and such fuckery in a city in my entire career.

It is a shame as I met some great people, but just not worth it.
 

KittyCaterina

Kingston Gem
May 17, 2019
525
1,396
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Kingston
www.kittycaterinaxo.com
I would also like to mention that with e transfer deposits, most if not all banks allow you to change your name to a nickname and add multiple email addresses that you can transfer from.

When I etransfer, my name shows up as Kitty and comes from my work email even though my account is tied to my real name and personal email.
 

Stdoug

Member
Dec 28, 2018
34
19
8
I have to admit sending a deposit to someone especially before even meeting is something I'm not too comfortable with. I'd be more than happy to email a gift visa or something similar as a form of deposit if the lady was okay with it. I like to give a tip or gift of some kind anyway so it would just end up being a gift in advance.
 

Sagsuper

South to North
Aug 10, 2020
21
19
3
Great topic and way too hot one with lots of engaging conversations! My experience is no show by regulars should be fined $50 or so and I agree to the norm of asking deposit from newbies (like me) when booking with an established provider, I mean if one is sure to book and see, why not pay the deposit, it make sense and value an SPs time!

I have little experience in Ottawa as I moved from States and use to see SP from agencies as well as Independent SPs der!

SPs, as to deposit, if its gift card, I think you will see more acceptance than bank transfer or epayments.

Sorry to hear about no shows and last minute cancellations, with Covid, I know its not easy to pass it! Hope for a better year, Happy New Year!
 

hoffa68

Member
Mar 18, 2013
495
20
18
I would also like to mention that with e transfer deposits, most if not all banks allow you to change your name to a nickname and add multiple email addresses that you can transfer from.

When I etransfer, my name shows up as Kitty and comes from my work email even though my account is tied to my real name and personal email.
Not all banks allow this. I have 2 bank accounts, CIBC and TD Canada trust. I can change my name/email on the CIBC account but can't change my name on TD. Or at least I've never found where you can do this. There have been similar posts about this and most seem to indicate that most banks don't allow this but I can only confirm this for 2 of them.

I've used the CIBC account to send deposits before. I have to feel really comfortable with the SW to do so
 

KittyCaterina

Kingston Gem
May 17, 2019
525
1,396
93
Kingston
www.kittycaterinaxo.com
Not all banks allow this. I have 2 bank accounts, CIBC and TD Canada trust. I can change my name/email on the CIBC account but can't change my name on TD. Or at least I've never found where you can do this. There have been similar posts about this and most seem to indicate that most banks don't allow this but I can only confirm this for 2 of them.

I've used the CIBC account to send deposits before. I have to feel really comfortable with the SW to do so
I have accounts with CIBC, Simplii (previously PC Financial) and BMO, and all allow what I spoke about above.

Those are three major banking institutions here in Canada.

As for TD and others like RBC or ScotiaBank, I am not sure. I will look into it.

Edit: Just confirmed that RBC also offers the nickname and separate email option.
 
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fibrewax

Seriously ?
Sep 25, 2015
320
110
43
This industry has its gives and takes for both the SP and the paying customer.

Speaking as a customer, (who has been burned more than once), I don't think it is wise to pre-pay a SP.

Other people's comfort levels in potentially risking their anonymity and loss of money may differ from mine.

To each their own.
 

asspirate

Member
Dec 22, 2020
28
27
18
This industry has its gives and takes for both the SP and the paying customer.

Speaking as a customer, (who has been burned more than once), I don't think it is wise to pre-pay a SP.

Other people's comfort levels in potentially risking their anonymity and loss of money may differ from mine.

To each their own.
I'd be more on the side of paying after the services has been received. A lot of people like to compare SWs to restaurants. I like it. But restaurant are legal for both parties. Sex Work is only legal for the SWers.
 

Roger"verbal"Kint

Well-known member
Oct 5, 2020
414
544
93
I really appreciate the contribution this thread has made and applaud everyone, both providers and clients, who shared their experiences and offered constructive suggestions. I'm new to this, but I am serious and have never NSNC. I have, however, been concerned about privacy issues related to deposits. I usually politely decline and move on if a provider asks for a deposit. But Tara and Ruby and others have greatly eased my concern with the suggestion of anonymous gift cards. So I am now willing to make a deposit that way, and that should help me expand my options and hopefully reduce the NSNC for amazing women such as Tara, Ruby, Allison, Nadia, Kitty and others. Of course, there is always the possibility of being ghosted after making a deposit (sometimes for legit reasons and sometimes for a scam; sometimes with well known providers or TOFTT) but being ghosted is always a possibility whether you make a deposit or not. So as long as the deposit is a reasonable amount, I'm willing to take my chances with any of the professional, reputable women in Ottawa (if they ever ghosted a client I'm sure they'd have a good reason and even return the deposit or pay it forward to a future visit). So, all that to say, I appreciate that this thread has contributed to hopefully resolving a serious issue in the Ottawa scene. It seems to me that's the exact intent of this forum: to create discussion amongst a community of interest to resolve common challenges. Thanks again to everyone who made positive contributions.
 
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westcityside

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2020
541
514
93
People are inherently cheap, there's very little chance that someone would fakebook an SP and confirm the booking, anonymously via email, with even a ten dollar giftcard. It's a complicated process that involves taking the time to set up a new email account and it involves giving away YOUR money to someone you're trying to take money FROM, it's not going to happen. Call it the Ten Dollar Insurance Policy, I'd love to hear what results any SPs get from this.
 

KittyCaterina

Kingston Gem
May 17, 2019
525
1,396
93
Kingston
www.kittycaterinaxo.com
And now that I think of it, is Paypal not a good option for deposits?

Paypal allows for anonymity on both sides. You can register with and link it to any email you wish and any nickname you wish.

There are many options for loading money onto your Paypal account, or it can be tied to your online banking and/or credit card.
 
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