Need help: Knocked a girl up, need to know my rights

[digdoo]

What if this happened as a result of a paid tranaction? What if this was client and working girl?

 

[digdoo]

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DEMAND A CHILD NOT BE BORN

The one who has to pay for it because a woman sees a payday.

 

[daty]

MichaelZzzz deserves a reward for ......

MichaelZzzz deserves a reward for ...... bringing sanity to TERB

I agree with the legal answer provided by oagre.
I would add, that if you refuse to submit a sample for a DNA test, the court will draw an adverse inference and presume that you are the father.

As for a non-legal answer, I think you are the luckiest guy in the world no matter what happens, your view of the situation needs to shift a little bit.

If she has an abortion – you are in the clear, done and finished, give thanks to the good lord for getting you out of that.

If she has the child and DNA proves it is not yours - you are in the clear, done and finished, give thanks to the good lord for getting you out of that.

If she has the child, and it is healthy and DNA proves that it is yours – then you are blessed with a son or daughter that you can love, care for beyond anything you have yet imagined was possible, help that child grow into a wonderful man or woman that will speak your praises long after you have left this earth.

If she has the child, and it is not healthy and DNA proves that it is yours – then you are going to learn more about love and compassion then you ever dreamed of, if there is the smallest bit of humanity in you, your life will be powerfully changed for the better in ways you cannot yet imagine.

On the other hand, you could, and I’m just talking out loud here, you could, just tell her “o.k. I’ll be the Dad don’t bother with the DNA test at all.”

I don't think ANYONE could have said it better ...THANK YOU SIR

​

.

 

[digdoo]

Like I said a WAAAAAY back in post #10... As a society we really need to STOP talking about "RIGHTS" and START talking about taking responsibilities for ones actions!



If the child is yours BE A MAN ABOUT IT, and by that I don't mean be a typical man... BE A REAL MAN! In other wards take example from A 1 Player and Master Muse...

(Is that what "man up" means?)

No one cared in post 10 no one cares now.

 

[great bear]

Just a perspective from someone who has been around the block a few times: Getting into an "emotional war" with her, will in all probability end up wilth her having the baby, for no other reason that to get back at you.

Pregnancy for a woman is a period of emotional turmoil. You adding to the turmoil will be of no benefit to you. Attempt to build a bond with the girl. A genuine bond. If reason and rational does not work then you can use as a last resort the "big stick" approach. I sincerely hope that both of you come out of this with the proper respect for each other. GB

 

[LateComer]

If your realy want her to abort and your well off, and dont want a kid, offer her a contract for just that- 10 k or some such. A nice number ot make it worht her while.

I thought the exact same thing right down to the amount.

 

[Don]

All MTT wants is some legal advice on his sticky situation... not advice on what is the moral thing to do.

MTT - oagre have you some good advice so I'd follow up with that and ignore the rest of the rambling unless you are enjoying it.

 

[Asterix]

Well this is interesting topic which is sure to inflame many people, but here's my very politically unpopular belief:

I have no fucking say in whether she has the child, even though we both made the same mistake. Is that right?

Pretty much, if she has made up her mind. This has only dawned on you now? Course, if you really were Mao that would be different. Fucker knocked up all kinds of girls and got away with it.

 

[fuji]

It's fair that you have no say in whether she has the child or not, you're not the one that has to give birth.

It is patently unfair that you will have so few rights once the child is born. In my view a father's responsibility goes far beyond writing a cheque and except under extreme circumstances no child should be denied the benefit of close contact with his or her father. The horrendous story a1player wrote upthread illustrates just how unfair it can be.

Fathers rights, which in my view are really the child's right to know their father, need some significant strengthening in Canada.

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

If your realy want her to abort and your well off, and dont want a kid, offer her a contract for just that- 10 k or some such. A nice number ot make it worht her while.[/QUOTE

If that works it says a lot of more about both of their characters than I care to think about.

 

[wet_suit_one]

Wow, what an incredible thread!

The humanity of this thread is great. The high, the low, the desires, the debate, the drives.

Fuck man, this shit is intense.

Almost Shakespearean!

Carry on...

(In case you didn't notice, I have nothing intelligent to add, but I did want to applaud all the participants for their input and making this such an educational thread. This thread should almost be taught to adolescents and young adults (probably not children) about how things actually work in the real world when they go sideways and your fuck up doesn't just slide on by...)

 

[solitaria]

MTT,

You can't get a vasectomy, because you don't want to give up the possibility of having children in your future even though you don't want one now but you expect the woman, whom you fucked without a condom, to give up the possibility of the child she is now pregnant with and seems to want.

The best was when you expected everyone to have sympathy with you after you stated you wanted to shame her into getting an abortion.

You can't fuck women bareback and not expect to be paying child support payments sooner or later. That's just a fact of life.

 

[phail]

mao i gotta say that you RELINQUISHED your right to the "lifestyle you enjoy and have become accustomed to" when you made the irresponsible mistake of having unprotected sex and getting her pregnant (if it ends up being yours). you wont like to but you have to accept that as a truth. period. full stop.
if you have an ounce of morality and ethics inside you, you will gradually figure that out and you will do the right thing by taking full responsibility for the child. it will take time to come to this full realization...

 

[fuji]

do the right thing by taking full responsibility for the child

Assuming he is given any opportunity to do that. Note that "full responsibility" implies more than writing cheques. Dads are not often given by the courts an opportunity to take full responsibility.

 

[alexmst]

Assuming he is given any opportunity to do that. Note that "full responsibility" implies more than writing cheques. Dads are not often given by the courts an opportunity to take full responsibility.

True. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I dated a girl who only saw her father once when she was 15. He did take responsibility in that he sent the cheque every month for the prior 15 years, but he had said he wanted nothing to do with the child and went 15 years without makig any effort to see her, even though the mother wasn't oppoised to his seeing the kid. That he saw her at 15 was only becasue the teen went looking for him and found him. After a day with her he said "We'll have to see each other again" but never called back and never saw her again. Not seeing the child and having the lawyer send a cheque is legal responsibility and that is good and fine - better than being a deadbeat - but not "full responsibility". Full responsibility the courts can't enforce and comes from sharing from within (if one has the choice).

As A1 said earlier, sometimes the reverse is true - the guy wants to see the kid but the mother blocks him, takes the support money and excludes him from the kid's life. That really sucks.

 

[Mao Tse Tongue]

mao i gotta say that you RELINQUISHED your right to the "lifestyle you enjoy and have become accustomed to" when you made the irresponsible mistake of having unprotected sex and getting her pregnant (if it ends up being yours). you wont like to but you have to accept that as a truth. period. full stop.
if you have an ounce of morality and ethics inside you, you will gradually figure that out and you will do the right thing by taking full responsibility for the child. it will take time to come to this full realization...

Lol, this thread won't go away even though I have.

Far too many people proving that they can't read but sure can moralize:

I am not yet the baby's daddy, people. All that's happened is that the woman is question has told me she is pregnant, but has admitted there are other men at the table.

So keep on moralizing, but nothing's decided except I may be being played. If the baby is mine, then everything changes and I will step up. Until then, who knows where the truth lies.

Thanks again to those trying to help. To everyone else, go fuck yourself (but wear a condom.)

Adios again

 

[abstinent]

ive had few scares to. never again...
luckily for me, i can jerk off better than intercourse(weird isnt it)

keep us posted

cheers

 

[themexi]

Best of luck dodging the bastard bullet.

BTW... Maybe there's some way of getting an early paternity test & faking it.... hedge your bets.... maybe with a negative on you she'll do the right thing.

 

[alan9080]

Unfortunately we live in a country where hard work
and wealth creation is penalized.
If Mao was not financially well off, had no job, he would have
nothing to worry about.

I am willing to bet that he is not the father. She is playing him
to see how much she can get out of this or perhaps getting him to marry her.

I am glad I had a vasectomy 5 years ago!

 

[themexi]

You could always send her on a nice all expense paid trip to an Asian country.... slip some crack or opium in her luggage & drop a dime on her to customs when she arrives. You may still have to pay child support but at least she'll never see a penny of it.....

Hey, if she can play the system to get what she wants, you could play the system too