Lavalife
- Thread starter Sammy78
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It takes a lot of time and effort, but it can and does work.
Though be prepared for rejection and frankly a lot of women who have unrealistic expectations as to what kind of man they feel they are entitled to.
Though be prepared for rejection and frankly a lot of women who have unrealistic expectations as to what kind of man they feel they are entitled to.
i have come to the same conclusion ... You are better off trying to meet a real girl at the gym or around the city then on the dating site. Unless you're hot, rich, got lots happening on your life, you can bet these girls will back on the site looking for a better guy if you even get to go out with them.
This!
I remember seeing this one girls profile who had a picture of her inbox as one of the profile pics...it had 500! messages in it.
I'm wondering if what you state is especially true for Lavalife, or is true for dating websites in general.
It's true in general, but it's more so for Plenty of Fish. The ones where the women actually paid tend to be a bit more sincere/serious from my experience.
Iv'e been on those sites for years. Nothing but a waste of time for the most part. If you try really hard and stick with it, you will get some dates here and there but I'm at the point where it's just way easier to pay an sp to be your gf for an hour. I know it's not the same thing but I'm telling you, it's ALOT of work just to get a date, then you hope there is a mutual attraction. I went on quite a few dates and I was never really attracted to any of the women. They all looked way different in real life then their pics.
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I browse the listings on occasion and find it entertaining to discover that a few of the women (including the hot ones) have been on these sites for YEARS. You ever wonder whether they know WTF they're looking for? They'll never put out on a first date, but you'll never get a chance to ask on a second (or third) date. Some of them must have dated 100+ guys...and the end result is? Civvies with unrealistic expectations. I have no pity for them. As in the financial markets, market (and natural) forces will eventually work its magic.
A friend of mine once put in a "dream" profile - 25, stolen photo of hunk, white, $120K a year salary, BMW, Bay St. condo, 6ft, and the same text that he regularly used.
Result: 5 PMs received in 20 mins, and he setup a date. He didn't even turn up and the girl said it was OK, and still kept on hassling him for a replacement, rofl.
Result: 5 PMs received in 20 mins, and he setup a date. He didn't even turn up and the girl said it was OK, and still kept on hassling him for a replacement, rofl.
Took the words right out of my mouth. I've gone on a few dates from Lavalife and PoF over the years, none of them lead anywhere.. and they all required an enormous amount of work to pull off.
I did however, seem to have better luck on lavalife
Online dating is the easiest option. But unfortunately -- it sucks. I've tried eharmony and OkCupid and Match.com. The women are unreachable. I've found it easier to talk to women in person. And I'm not fugly, in my early 30s with that BMW and 120k salary and definitely not that hunk material anymore but still..... 
It's interesting to read all the negative posts regarding online dating (curious because a close female relative met her SO online). My own supposition is this:
(1) If you are male, looking for a long-term relationship, are relatively well-off financially, and post pics of yourself (and are not revolting ugly), online dating sites such as LavaLife might be useful.
(2) If you have low expectations and looking for the odd date, online dating sites might also be of some use (but again, keeping expectations very low).
(3) If you are only looking for a one-night stand or some other related sex-only interaction, online dating is a complete waste of time.
(4) While there are many people that I know of (including the female relative mentioned, as well as a few friends of mine) use online dating sites on a lark, purely for fun and entertainment, many other people with profiles on online dating sites are there out of desperation (assuming the profiles are not fake).
(1) If you are male, looking for a long-term relationship, are relatively well-off financially, and post pics of yourself (and are not revolting ugly), online dating sites such as LavaLife might be useful.
(2) If you have low expectations and looking for the odd date, online dating sites might also be of some use (but again, keeping expectations very low).
(3) If you are only looking for a one-night stand or some other related sex-only interaction, online dating is a complete waste of time.
(4) While there are many people that I know of (including the female relative mentioned, as well as a few friends of mine) use online dating sites on a lark, purely for fun and entertainment, many other people with profiles on online dating sites are there out of desperation (assuming the profiles are not fake).
Well Joey....i think as someone put it, Toronto women in their late 20s/early 30s are looking for Dr. Brad Pitt. Or they're frozen by indecisiveness or an inflated sense of self worth. I'm in category (1) of your 4 categories.
Granted I'm not the looker I was 10yrs ago (I'm 34) but I do bring a LOT to the table in terms of conventional wisdom (not the Terb "you have to be a black alpha male to get women!" theories). But zero luck. Either my pictures are horrible or I'm not something that every woman wants (university educated, low 6 figure salary, personable and a good human being to sum it up).
Granted I'm not the looker I was 10yrs ago (I'm 34) but I do bring a LOT to the table in terms of conventional wisdom (not the Terb "you have to be a black alpha male to get women!" theories). But zero luck. Either my pictures are horrible or I'm not something that every woman wants (university educated, low 6 figure salary, personable and a good human being to sum it up).
I think guys that are fairly literate (i.e. forum posters such as here on TERB) may actually have an advantage in some cases with online dating as a lot of people have poor writting skills and it is there on the page in black and white. BUT, you literally have to invest hundreds of hours of work. The women on those sites are shallow. I've found that the ones without pictures can turn out to be quite good looking - they are trying to limit the flood of emails - so my tip would be try some of these...but don't blame me if Godzilla's sister shows up on your blind date lol.
Serp, really, online dating site is for fun entertainment. Thats it. I won't be surprise those "hot woman" are guys, especially Asian ones (Jap AV girls pics or Asian celeb) and post it as themselves. LOL Similar case as wetnose, my friend pose a male mode pic with a perfect stats, 6'2, Marketing Director, mid 100+Ks salary, living at downtown condo drives a Audi R8. Same thing, around 20mins 6-7PM msgs. And the funny thing is when you look back, girls demand so much in their profile, saying don't be so lame on the message like a "hello, or hi beautiful, baby" yet, when my friend show me the msgs 5 of them say "hihi" or "hey handsome" lol. jokes
so to sum it up, best bet is to meet girls in person rather than dating sites
so to sum it up, best bet is to meet girls in person rather than dating sites
First of all, I don't think Toronto women are necessarily looking for Dr. Brad Pitt, or have an inflated sense of self worth. My suspicion is that that there are a higher proportion of successful working women in that age bracket who are confident in themselves that they can take care of themselves and hence do not need a man in their lives. Therefore, many (though not all) of these women will be in a position to be more choosy in who they prefer to date (btw, this attitude is neither unique to women, nor is it unique to Toronto -- I hear similar stories from people I know in New York and London).
Second of all, I have felt that only relying on online dating to seek a relationship is a poor way to go. I have always felt that the best, most reliable way to meet a compatible woman is to be introduced by friends. If you are, in your own words, relatively well-off financially and not unattractive, you should have plenty of friends likewise, and therefore you should let it be known that you are available, and hence let your friends try to match-make you.
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