Jokes Trivia - What's the Punchline?

[onomatopoeia]

How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, frat boys screw in pools of vomit.

 

[onomatopoeia]

Emo Phillips was sitting alone in a movie theatre. A man pointed to the adjacent chair, and asked "Excuse me, is this seat saved?".

What's the punchline?

If Aquinas ascertained that an animal has no soul, what less chance would an inanimate object such as a chair have of obtaining salvation?

 

[onomatopoeia]

What do you get when you cross a Canadian and a Ukrainian?

A grain elevator operator who speaks a little French.

 

[onomatopoeia]

What's the difference between an elephant and an Italian grandmother?

Four pounds and a black dress.

 

[onomatopoeia]

There was a young man from Madrass,
Who's balls were constructed of brass.

When jangled together,
They played Stormy Weather.

Complete the limerick.

And lightning shot out of his ass.

 

[onomatopoeia]

There was a wine steward named Fred,
Who's dick had a corkscrew-shaped head.

He found, having hunted,
A girl, corkscrew-cunted.

Complete the limerick.

But a lass with a Fred-reversed thread.

 

[onomatopoeia]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do.

 

[onomatopoeia]

At confession, Paddy says "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I've been having sex with animals".

Priest: "What kind of animals, my son?"
Paddy: "Dogs, Father.".
Priest: "I'm disgusted, my son. How low can a man go?".

What's the punchline?

Paddy: "I'm not sure, Father. Maybe a Jack Russell?".

 

[onomatopoeia]

A man goes into a hardware store in Nova Scotia, and sees a sale display - light bulbs, nine cents each.

The man asks the sales clerk why the light bulbs are so inexpensive.

What's the punchline?

The salesman says "They were made in Newfoundland, so they aren't very bright.".

 

[onomatopoeia]

A businessman travels frequently. Every time he returns home, his son, who is in the Cub Scouts, has a new patch on his uniform.

Father: "I'll bet you've been working hard to earn all of those patches.".
Son: "Nope.".
Father: "Then how did you get them?".
Son: "The Scoutmaster gives them to me.".
Father: "Why does he do that?".

What's the punchline?

Son: "Every time you go away on a business trip, the Scoutmaster visits mommy He hands me a badge and says 'Go take a hike'.".

 

[onomatopoeia]

Why did the Polish guy go through the car wash twice?

He liked the special effects, but didn't understand the ending.

 

[onomatopoeia]

What's green and red and travels 100 miles per hour?

A frog in a blender.

 

[onomatopoeia]

"Wow, these Saudi Arabian laws sure are strict!" Cried Tom..."

Complete the Tom Swiftie.

single-handedly.

 

[onomatopoeia]

The sickly young virginal bride,
Bit a green apple, and died.

As the apple fermented,
Inside the lamented,

Complete the limerick.

It turned to cider inside her inside.

 

[onomatopoeia]

A termite goes into a bar. What does he say?

Where's the bar tender?

 

[onomatopoeia]

What are the three characteristics of 'The Perfect Man'?

Three feet tall, ten inch tongue, breathes through his ears.

 

[onomatopoeia]

Why did the Klingon Warrior cross the road?

That is not your concern!

 

[onomatopoeia]

Two Americans are in Paris. They go to a drug store to buy condoms, but the pharmacist speaks no English, and keeps repeating "Je ne comprends pas."

Finally the two guys place ten dollars on the counter, whip out their dicks, and alternatively point at the money and their junk.

What three things does the pharmacist do?

1) Shrugs his shoulders.

2) Unzips and reveals a penis larger than those of the two Americans,

3) Takes the money.