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Jokes Trivia - What's the Punchline?

onomatopoeia

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Jul 3, 2020
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Cabbagetown
Two guys are walking down the street, and they see a dog licking his balls. The first guy says "Gee, I sure wish I could do that.". What does the second guy say?

"Don't you think you should pet him first?"

I tell this joke around the table at Christmas time, still gets yuks after all these years.
Correct!
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,200
17,292
113
Cabbagetown
Emo Phillips was sitting alone in a movie theatre. A man pointed to the adjacent chair, and asked "Excuse me, is this seat saved?".

What's the punchline?
 
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onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,200
17,292
113
Cabbagetown
There was a young man from Madrass,
Who's balls were constructed of brass.

When jangled together,
They played Stormy Weather.


Complete the limerick.
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,200
17,292
113
Cabbagetown
There was a wine steward named Fred,
Who's dick had a corkscrew-shaped head.

He found, having hunted,
A girl, corkscrew-cunted.

Complete the limerick.
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,200
17,292
113
Cabbagetown
At confession, Paddy says "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I've been having sex with animals".

Priest: "What kind of animals, my son?"
Paddy: "Dogs, Father.".
Priest: "I'm disgusted, my son. How low can a man go?".

What's the punchline?
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,200
17,292
113
Cabbagetown
A man goes into a hardware store in Nova Scotia, and sees a sale display - light bulbs, nine cents each.

The man asks the sales clerk why the light bulbs are so inexpensive.

What's the punchline?
 

onomatopoeia

Bzzzzz.......Doink
Jul 3, 2020
21,200
17,292
113
Cabbagetown
A businessman travels frequently. Every time he returns home, his son, who is in the Cub Scouts, has a new patch on his uniform.

Father: "I'll bet you've been working hard to earn all of those patches.".
Son: "Nope.".
Father: "Then how did you get them?".
Son: "The Scoutmaster gives them to me.".
Father: "Why does he do that?".

What's the punchline?
 
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