It's All Over
- Thread starter drlove
- Start date
I still can't really believe it happened.. I don't know what caused me to let the cat out of the bag like that. In any case, I want to thank all of you for your support, (Even Goober, I think?!) It really means a lot to me. 
This is just a thought......
I know that you say that your relationship was plutonic, and just friends.
But, maybe, recently, she had a change of heart and started having stronger feelings for you. Feelings where she'd consider a relationship, and hadn't yet told you about how she felt.
It could give reason to why she reacted the way she did.
Maybe?
It's too bad that it ended like that though.
I know that you say that your relationship was plutonic, and just friends.
But, maybe, recently, she had a change of heart and started having stronger feelings for you. Feelings where she'd consider a relationship, and hadn't yet told you about how she felt.
It could give reason to why she reacted the way she did.
Maybe?
It's too bad that it ended like that though.
Which again, is why she may have reacted the way she did.drlove said:Maybe... but that only makes it worse.
Sorry about this Dr L, I know you were in turmoil over it and losing a friend isn't the best feeling in the world.....As said, seems to me that she probably had more feelings for you than she let on, but then again, Holy Rollers are like that....they live by their rules and anyone who doesn't agree with their rules are wrong, no if's and's or buts.
That is why I don't believe in the hypocrasy of organised religion, do as I say, not as I do mentality. I always find it funny how most religions teach caring, understanding, foregiveness, yet in practicality, they are anything but....
In hindsight, you may have kept the friendship if you hadn't told her but from what I understand of you, honesty and openess is paramount in your character and to keep this from her just to save the friendship is not really being honest because, afterall, you're of a mind that hobbying is acceptable, and she isn't...
I SO hate it when someone tries to judge another based on their moral attitudes ie: you're bad because you do it but she's better because she doesn't believe in it....
Just remember this: SHE chose to end the friendship by her choice so no matter what, DON'T feel guilty.
I know how you feel about losing a friend, I recently lost one due to a situation I was put into by 3 others. Oddly enough this person who decided to end the friendship certainly kept their friendship with the 3 who put me into the unfortunate position to begin with. My attitude with that is, well, just shows you how good of a friend they were to begin with (not very good IMHO) and this is similar to your situation in the sense that if she cared about you SO much, she would be able to either accept your hobbying or at least try to understand and cope with it to continue the relationship....
This may sound blunt but really, if she can't accept you for who you are, then fuck her, she doesn't deserve your friendship.......
That is why I don't believe in the hypocrasy of organised religion, do as I say, not as I do mentality. I always find it funny how most religions teach caring, understanding, foregiveness, yet in practicality, they are anything but....
In hindsight, you may have kept the friendship if you hadn't told her but from what I understand of you, honesty and openess is paramount in your character and to keep this from her just to save the friendship is not really being honest because, afterall, you're of a mind that hobbying is acceptable, and she isn't...
I SO hate it when someone tries to judge another based on their moral attitudes ie: you're bad because you do it but she's better because she doesn't believe in it....
Just remember this: SHE chose to end the friendship by her choice so no matter what, DON'T feel guilty.
I know how you feel about losing a friend, I recently lost one due to a situation I was put into by 3 others. Oddly enough this person who decided to end the friendship certainly kept their friendship with the 3 who put me into the unfortunate position to begin with. My attitude with that is, well, just shows you how good of a friend they were to begin with (not very good IMHO) and this is similar to your situation in the sense that if she cared about you SO much, she would be able to either accept your hobbying or at least try to understand and cope with it to continue the relationship....
This may sound blunt but really, if she can't accept you for who you are, then fuck her, she doesn't deserve your friendship.......
time doesn't necessarily heal all wounds...it just blurs the memory and softens the pain
having said that...having ass sex is a ton of fun with a girl you are dating...when she puts on that strap-on..man alive is that a thrill
having said that...having ass sex is a ton of fun with a girl you are dating...when she puts on that strap-on..man alive is that a thrill
G
GlavaMan
The last one is really ironic in that she has a thing for Richard Gere.drlove said:
Pretty Women-Hires/has a relationship with a prostitute
Officer & A Gentleman-Grows up under a brothel in the Phillipines.
American Gigolo-Plays part of male prostitute.
Also, I'm guessing she never had a Gerbal while growing up!
Plan of action
What I'm thinking about doing is waiting a couple of weeks to let things cool down. Then if I haven't heard from her, I will send her an e-mail (since I find I express myself better through the written word) letting her know about some deeply personal reasons behind how I wound up in the hobby. I will also invite her to call me to discuss the matter more in depth. Hopefully, this will help her to understand where I'm coming from.
Unfortunately, I won't hold my breath since when I told her initially, I was very blunt about it (sorry, force of habit) and I recall her saying I was trash, and that she viewed the entire industry as sleazy.
Well, here's hoping!
What I'm thinking about doing is waiting a couple of weeks to let things cool down. Then if I haven't heard from her, I will send her an e-mail (since I find I express myself better through the written word) letting her know about some deeply personal reasons behind how I wound up in the hobby. I will also invite her to call me to discuss the matter more in depth. Hopefully, this will help her to understand where I'm coming from.
Unfortunately, I won't hold my breath since when I told her initially, I was very blunt about it (sorry, force of habit) and I recall her saying I was trash, and that she viewed the entire industry as sleazy.
Well, here's hoping!
Well, ok, what's wrong with that?drlove said:
I mean, I've been called a lot worse by people I really care about and while it is bothersome, it isn't that bad.I tell you I'd rather be trashy and sleazy than hypocritical...and BTW, weren't trashy and sleazy the 8th and 9th dwarfs?
Anyway Dr L, sounds like a good plan to let her cool her jets for a bit but I would also include something like this: If you still decide to end our - yr friendship over something like this I am truly disappointed as I thought we were close enough that we could share anything about ourselves, good and bad. I am espeically disappointed that something that does not involve you in the least could be the reason to end our friendship.......
because really, it has no bearing whatsoever on her, your friendship or your relationship....
What kills me about the whole thing is that probably one of the main reasons she is upset is that what you are doing somehow goes against her religious beliefs yet the catholic church not only employs child abusers but sheilds and protects them......
To thy known self be true
Friends should love and accept you for you... If you cannot be honest, perhaps she is doing you a favour, trust and believe in your self, regardless what others say.
Friends should love and accept you for you... If you cannot be honest, perhaps she is doing you a favour, trust and believe in your self, regardless what others say.
That sucks! You seem like a decent guy.
What I find most interesting is that you can't figure out why you told her, that it just came out of nowhere.
That really doesn't happen. My take? You knew, deep down, that she was the kind of person who'd call someone "trash" for having a different take on sex and relationships, and wanted to hear it from her own mouth. Now you have, and now the question is; does someone who calls you "trash" deserve to have you call her a friend? She's not a good friend, and she's not even true to her religious beliefs, unless she's one of those cherry-picking Christians who skip over judge not, lest ye be judged, the whole compassion and forgiveness thing, and the story of Mary Magdalene.
BTW? Even if she does appear to 'forgive' you, you can bet the farm that you'll hear about it every time you do something else she doesn't approve of. In my opinion, you don't owe her a damn thing; and she owes you an apology; in reality she'll be expecting you to tell her that you understand you're "trash", and can she forgive you!
She's not going to change. I suggest you allow that maybe the world doesn't need any additional sources of kneejerk bigotry and cut her loose.
Hoping for what? That she's become a different person? She's already shown you that she feels what's important is that you accept where she's coming from and that your take is of little importance.
What I find most interesting is that you can't figure out why you told her, that it just came out of nowhere.
That really doesn't happen. My take? You knew, deep down, that she was the kind of person who'd call someone "trash" for having a different take on sex and relationships, and wanted to hear it from her own mouth. Now you have, and now the question is; does someone who calls you "trash" deserve to have you call her a friend? She's not a good friend, and she's not even true to her religious beliefs, unless she's one of those cherry-picking Christians who skip over judge not, lest ye be judged, the whole compassion and forgiveness thing, and the story of Mary Magdalene.
BTW? Even if she does appear to 'forgive' you, you can bet the farm that you'll hear about it every time you do something else she doesn't approve of. In my opinion, you don't owe her a damn thing; and she owes you an apology; in reality she'll be expecting you to tell her that you understand you're "trash", and can she forgive you!
She's not going to change. I suggest you allow that maybe the world doesn't need any additional sources of kneejerk bigotry and cut her loose.
enduser1 said:Maybe she will become an SP. I'd pay $200.00 for some of that action.
EU
LOL you MAY live to regret that DOH.....
Nice post!!Vancouver Femme Fatale said:That sucks! You seem like a decent guy.
Hoping for what? That she's become a different person? She's already shown you that she feels what's important is that you accept where she's coming from and that your take is of little importance.
What I find most interesting is that you can't figure out why you told her, that it just came out of nowhere.
That really doesn't happen. My take? You knew, deep down, that she was the kind of person who'd call someone "trash" for having a different take on sex and relationships, and wanted to hear it from her own mouth. Now you have, and now the question is; does someone who calls you "trash" deserve to have you call her a friend? She's not a good friend, and she's not even true to her religious beliefs, unless she's one of those cherry-picking Christians who skip over judge not, lest ye be judged, the whole compassion and forgiveness thing, and the story of Mary Magdalene.
BTW? Even if she does appear to 'forgive' you, you can bet the farm that you'll hear about it every time you do something else she doesn't approve of. In my opinion, you don't owe her a damn thing; and she owes you an apology; in reality she'll be expecting you to tell her that you understand you're "trash", and can she forgive you!
She's not going to change. I suggest you allow that maybe the world doesn't need any additional sources of kneejerk bigotry and cut her loose.
It could be, although it gets a bit fuzzy. When I first met her, I was physically attracted to her, but she insisted she only wanted a friendship, which was fine. Did her feelings toward me intensify in the meantime?? If so, she didn't verbalize it; although we were close, we were never intimate. In some ways, losing just a friend is worse since most times, friends stick together no matter what - this case was an exception.enduser1 said:WOW,
Still I think she might come around. It could be that she had feelings for him and was deeply hurt by the fact that he was banging SP's. But, in that kind of scenario she is still playing headgames because she should have told him of her feelings.
EU
Was she a "holy roller"?? In some ways she was, yes. I don't blame her for it. Point being, part of what attracted me to her was that she was so kind and considerate in all other ways. With regard to our "break-up", I believe the way she was socialized has a lot more to do with it than anything else. I suppose if someone is raised in a strict Catholic background, they literally come to accept "the bible's teachings" as it were (esp. where sex is concerned), as gospel. If there is no room for movement, it becomes very difficult to justify any deviation from the norm. That seems to be the case here, unfortunately. I'm not saying I agree with it, simply that I understand it. My father was the same way, although I was smart enough not to buy into everything he said.
