Fell in Love/Lust with an escort. Young sex addict

gabelogan

Member
Jul 12, 2018
35
40
18
OP, I'm close to your age, and similar circumstances; reading this I can sympathize.

I think the one healthy way to continue this is to give that provider and yourself space.
See others or just go cold turkey. It's easier to quit and get a hold of yourself than some other addictions. Plus you can always jerk off, just try to develop some self control.

So that when you want to splurge and partake in these pleasures there is a reward system set up that drive your important goals, whatever they may be.
Like just stop seeing SPs for an extending time to give yourself a reality check (your wallet will thank you), yes almost 99% of the time you are simply an ATM which you found out in a difficult way.
People want to blame the provider, but this is how almost all businesses operate; revenue is the number one priority.

It can be a dangerous game, best advice I can give is to just take a break. Make sure it isn't a need, because it really isn't despite Maslow's hierarchy of needs claiming so.
Try to build relationships with normal people, isolation can be a bitch, and covid doesn't help anyone who is already introverted and most importantly never share this part of you. Remember the first rule about fight club.

In essence, your penis will function for another 50/60 or so years, so in the mean time try to improve yourself and put the breaks on this hobby.

Feel free to DM if don't wish to share anything personal, I'd love to discuss.
I text her here and there to see If she's doing okay because I genuinely care about her but I don't get a response 99% of the time. When she does respond, its some cold one liner like "Nice" or "good" lol. Sometimes I text her asking if I can talk to her because it used to help speaking to her(she was my emotional crutch) . But again no response. I stopped seeing her in January of this year. She gradually became colder and colder towards me as time went by. When I was a regular, I would get responses from her 24 7 lol. I've texted her at 3 AM before and she responded being all nice and friendly when I was her client. She made it seem like we were friends but I was just a client. I'm still in love with her so I hate to admit this but I try to reach out here and there. I feel like a fucking loser. I went into this hobby because I didn't want a relationship or catch feelings and just wanted easy accessible intimacy but it backfired. I did see a couple of providers this summer and it was great for getting my mind off her but now that I'm out of money, lonely , and stressed with school again, I keep thinking of her. I don't ever want someone to have this level of control over me again. I feel like a beta male. Lately I have been making efforts to reach out to friends and family but there's only so much you can do with covid going around and school being super busy. I'm way too young to be dealing with so much bs. I wish I had a magic pill to make my psychological issues go away...... I'm taking this as a learning lesson that I need to change or this habit will destroy me. I'll be okay. I am a good student and a hard worker. I know I have a bright future ahead of me so I'm focusing on myself now. My plan is to quit this habit for good but defeating an addiction isn't easy. Good news is I havent engaged in this hobby for 2 months so I'm happy about that. I'm working on self control and healthy coping strategies. Glad to hear someone out there can relate to me in some way..
 

daytimelover

Active member
Jan 16, 2017
148
81
28
Stop texting her, move on. Its over. Please do yourself this favor. I would block her so she can't text you and f**k with your mind. For such a young guy curious why a lady that is so much older than you.
 
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gabelogan

Member
Jul 12, 2018
35
40
18
Stop texting her, move on. Its over. Please do yourself this favor. I would block her so she can't text you and f**k with your mind. For such a young guy curious why a lady that is so much older than you.
I'm into older women and this hobby allowed to explore that side.Plus she was exactly my type from my young porn fantasies lol. Also, I think I have mommy issues so I probably subconsciously crave an older woman to fulfill some emotional need that wasn't met in my childhood( based on a conversation with therapist). Also, I've been told I'm more mature for my age so I naturally gravitate towards older people in general. I agree I should stop texting her and I will.
 
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luvyeah

🤡🌎
Oct 24, 2018
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I text her here and there to see If she's doing okay because I genuinely care about her but I don't get a response 99% of the time. When she does respond, its some cold one liner like "Nice" or "good" lol. Sometimes I text her asking if I can talk to her because it used to help speaking to her(she was my emotional crutch) . But again no response. I stopped seeing her in January of this year. She gradually became colder and colder towards me as time went by. When I was a regular, I would get responses from her 24 7 lol. I've texted her at 3 AM before and she responded being all nice and friendly when I was her client. She made it seem like we were friends but I was just a client. I'm still in love with her so I hate to admit this but I try to reach out here and there. I feel like a fucking loser. I went into this hobby because I didn't want a relationship or catch feelings and just wanted easy accessible intimacy but it backfired. I did see a couple of providers this summer and it was great for getting my mind off her but now that I'm out of money, lonely , and stressed with school again, I keep thinking of her. I don't ever want someone to have this level of control over me again. I feel like a beta male. Lately I have been making efforts to reach out to friends and family but there's only so much you can do with covid going around and school being super busy. I'm way too young to be dealing with so much bs. I wish I had a magic pill to make my psychological issues go away...... I'm taking this as a learning lesson that I need to change or this habit will destroy me. I'll be okay. I am a good student and a hard worker. I know I have a bright future ahead of me so I'm focusing on myself now. My plan is to quit this habit for good but defeating an addiction isn't easy. Good news is I havent engaged in this hobby for 2 months so I'm happy about that. I'm working on self control and healthy coping strategies. Glad to hear someone out there can relate to me in some way..
As mentioned previously in the thread, almost everyone goes through a phase where they become fixated on a regular.
It happens, and especially if you don't receive this attention elsewhere.
It seems like you were becoming a bit too needy, and her emotional support wasn't giving her a return financially so it just ended.
Can you blame her, people can only be so generous and especially with the hobby nothing out of paid companionship should be expected.
I wouldn't get upset or beat yourself over it, it's a learning opportunity.

A book to consider is the Rational Male. https://www.amazon.ca/Rational-Male-Rollo-Tomassi/dp/1492777862
 
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Nov 22, 2012
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I'm into older women and this hobby allowed to explore that side.Plus she was exactly my type from my young porn fantasies lol. Also, I think I have mommy issues so I probably subconsciously crave an older woman to fulfill some emotional need that wasn't met in my childhood( based on a conversation with therapist). Also, I've been told I'm more mature for my age so I naturally gravitate towards older people in general. I agree I should stop texting her and I will.
I'm curious how old you are and how old is the provider?
 

shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
51,348
9,946
113
Toronto
In terms of losing someone you love, there's an old proverb.

"The best way to get over somebody, is to get under somebody." Not gonna recommend any methodology.
 

luvyeah

🤡🌎
Oct 24, 2018
2,545
1,198
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I'm into older women and this hobby allowed to explore that side.Plus she was exactly my type from my young porn fantasies lol. Also, I think I have mommy issues so I probably subconsciously crave an older woman to fulfill some emotional need that wasn't met in my childhood( based on a conversation with therapist). Also, I've been told I'm more mature for my age so I naturally gravitate towards older people in general. I agree I should stop texting her and I will.
I also love the company of older women: the sterotypical MILF. While saying it's a "mommy issue" is a good way to categorize the fetish and be done with it.
I don't believe there is much merit to it and it's probably not healthy to entertain that there is something fundamentally wrong with you.

Freud got a lot of things wrong. As Tony Soprano would say "FOR THE LAST TIME I DON'T WANNA FUCK MY MUDDA."
 

daytimelover

Active member
Jan 16, 2017
148
81
28
When seeing any women, don't be very needed, its a turn off. Women can be hard to understand sometimes, Avoid escorts you sound like you get easily attached. You need to be calm cool, not overbearing. A girlfriend when your ready will be much better for you. I really like one escort alot, we text back and forth. I don't initiate the texts unless I am booking, if she wants to text me, we will chat otherwise I don't bother reaching out. I like her alot, she tells me she love spending time with me. ( if there was no money I don't think so). But its a great way for them to keep their clients especially if they are regulars
 

gabelogan

Member
Jul 12, 2018
35
40
18
When seeing any women, don't be very needed, its a turn off. Women can be hard to understand sometimes, Avoid escorts you sound like you get easily attached. You need to be calm cool, not overbearing. A girlfriend when your ready will be much better for you. I really like one escort alot, we text back and forth. I don't initiate the texts unless I am booking, if she wants to text me, we will chat otherwise I don't bother reaching out. I like her alot, she tells me she love spending time with me. ( if there was no money I don't think so). But its a great way for them to keep their clients especially if they are regulars
I do get very needy when I get attached to a girl and I hate that about myself so you're right. I wish I was addicted to drugs and alcohol like other kids my age but I'd probably be dead if that were the case lol. At least it would be Cheaper and less shameful
 

luvyeah

🤡🌎
Oct 24, 2018
2,545
1,198
113
I wish I was addicted to drugs and alcohol like other kids my age but I'd probably be dead if that were the case lol. At least it would be Cheaper and less shameful
No, you got it wrong man.
You picked the right drug!
Just play responsibly.
 
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daytimelover

Active member
Jan 16, 2017
148
81
28
Drugs and alcohol are the worst thing you can do. focus on school or whatever you do, get some help. You are a young pup you have so many years ahead of you. There are so many women out there. Forget this hobby now. Lose her number, block her, forget about her.
 

kherg007

Well-known member
May 3, 2014
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shack

Nitpicker Extraordinaire
Oct 2, 2001
51,348
9,946
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Toronto
With SPs and SBs, it's all about the $$.
But it's not like they are pretending otherwise. We all know, or should know, that is the game plan for them.
 

flying

Member
Aug 14, 2008
49
6
8
1. Be proud that You identified the problem and you have asked advice / input from the terb community
2. You are 22 years young. Don't fall in love.
3. Seek some medication and therapy/counselling. Be patient, Its tough finding any therapists these days due to long waiting lists. Depression and anxiety can be treated.
4. Stop thinking of her. Think of something else to do that is healthy to occupy your mind and body. Delete her contact, block her number , twitter, social media etc. And most of all dont look at her advertisements/website/photos.
 
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JackBurton

Well-known member
Jan 5, 2012
1,937
739
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I text her here and there to see If she's doing okay because I genuinely care about her but I don't get a response 99% of the time. When she does respond, its some cold one liner like "Nice" or "good" lol. Sometimes I text her asking if I can talk to her because it used to help speaking to her(she was my emotional crutch) . But again no response. I stopped seeing her in January of this year. She gradually became colder and colder towards me as time went by. When I was a regular, I would get responses from her 24 7 lol. I've texted her at 3 AM before and she responded being all nice and friendly when I was her client. She made it seem like we were friends but I was just a client. I'm still in love with her so I hate to admit this but I try to reach out here and there. I feel like a fucking loser. I went into this hobby because I didn't want a relationship or catch feelings and just wanted easy accessible intimacy but it backfired. I did see a couple of providers this summer and it was great for getting my mind off her but now that I'm out of money, lonely , and stressed with school again, I keep thinking of her. I don't ever want someone to have this level of control over me again. I feel like a beta male. Lately I have been making efforts to reach out to friends and family but there's only so much you can do with covid going around and school being super busy. I'm way too young to be dealing with so much bs. I wish I had a magic pill to make my psychological issues go away...... I'm taking this as a learning lesson that I need to change or this habit will destroy me. I'll be okay. I am a good student and a hard worker. I know I have a bright future ahead of me so I'm focusing on myself now. My plan is to quit this habit for good but defeating an addiction isn't easy. Good news is I havent engaged in this hobby for 2 months so I'm happy about that. I'm working on self control and healthy coping strategies. Glad to hear someone out there can relate to me in some way..
you got hustled by a veteran. No shame in being beaten by someone that’s been in the biz as long as you’ve been alive.

When you are feeling down and blue, remember what she did to your when you were at your lowest point: she ghosted you. No discussion, no action: she abandoned you when you needed her.

Thats the mark of a cowardly woman.

Its gonna sting for a while, the best thing to do has already been mentioned here: stand up straight, clean up your life and become a man who is interesting and stable with purpose. That’s your end goal, get after it.

Best of luck.
 

New World

Well-known member
Jul 23, 2003
1,261
542
113
toronto
I'm a 22 year old dude that fell in love with an escort. I'm an emotionally damaged person(deal with depression and anxiety) and I've blown thousands on this "hobby" for years to escape from my personal issues. I saw my first escort when I was 18. I started seeing a girl last year and over time I fell for her. I spent hours and months seeing her regularly.She helped with my emotional issues and so I kept seeing her. I spent all my savings on her like an idiot. She obviously did not feel the same way. I even thought she genuinely cared about me lol but it was obviously all about money and the moment I ran out of money, she stopped texting me and pretending to care lol. The whole time she pretended to really care about me and told me she doesn't care about money. She would say we're "friends" and that she genuinely cares.That was obviously not true lol. Anyways, I know she's a provider and she is not in the wrong here. She is here to sell a fantasy and I bought into it. I am the idiot here. I'm NOT a stalker nor a creep so I'm NOT going to cause any harm to this girl in any way.I will not EVER disclose her name or anything of that sort. I know that I don't deserve anything other than the time I pay for. I'm just here looking for suggestions on how I can deal with this hurt that I'm going through. Also, I know I'm an idiot for getting into this hobby at such a young age especially since I can't even afford it. I've gone into debt doing this and I'm left feeling hurt and heartbroken. I welcome any advice and criticism. I want you guys to tell me how stupid I am so I never do this again. This hobby has turned into an addiction and I don't wanna do this anymore especially not while I'm young. I'm a university student in a respectable program so I am doing something productive with my life and I have my shit together in other aspects of my life(work, school) so I'm not a complete loser lol. I started dealing with depression and anxiety while I was in school and ever since then, I've used this hobby as a coping mechanism. I am too afraid to date girls in real life even though I'm a good looking and funny guy( as I've been told my many people). Please help me. Please offer some advice. Tell me how stupid I am so my sex addicted brain can stop doing this and go chase after real women.
As a man you are born with the burden of performance. I recommend you read or listen to the following book

The Rational Male by Rolo Tomassi. You can buy it from Amazon or listen to it via Audible.

Btw when I was 22 years old I had approach anxiety. In addition I was not having any luck with the girls. I thought there was something wrong with me. I too would go home and drink. I was a borderline alcoholic and I had a gambling (Horse racing) problem.

Today I am 39 years old have a great career, try to keep physically fit and constantly pursue excellence. Oh yeah before I forget most of the ladies I have "sexual relations" with are between 20-24 years old!
 
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