Fell in Love/Lust with an escort. Young sex addict

[gabelogan]

Firstly, reading your posts - I think you have a Personality Disorder; you need a Psychiatrist.

Secondly, you said you went into debt....please don't tell me you are taking Cash Advances on your Credit Card in order to finance this....if you did, you are doubly stupid.

Finally, (and I'm saying this from personal experience) - once you start doing this, you don't want to date and have real relationships. You feel amazing because you are chasing a dopamine rush through your orgasm. Seeing escorts is quick and easy and gets you your fix. It's the same as an opiod addict injecting Heroin into his veins.

So, here is your action plan:

1. Pay off all your fucking debt....start with the most expensive debt (higher interest rate) first, and work down from there
2. Get therapy
3. Finish your schooling and focus on getting a sustainable income....job market is going to be a little choppy for the next 1 or 2 years
4. You must save 10% of what you earn....and put that in two separate savings account....one "rainy day" fund and one "hooker" fund....only see escorts when you have the cash to do so...DO NOT put yourself in debt again over this

Good luck, bud.

I definitely have a lot of emotional issues. I have seen a few psychiatrists but never found the right fit so I just gave up. I grew up in an abusive household so I'm a really fucked up person emotionally. But over the years, I've manage to hide it well and you would never be able to guess what I go through if you ever met me. I put up a fake wall of confidence but on the inside I am a fucked up and miserable person. Thats why Im here on this forum asking strangers anonymously lol. My debt isn't credit card related or anything high interest. It's mostly student loans that I could have paid off but instead blew my hard earned cash on chasing a high like an idiot. Ive learned my lesson and I'm at rock bottom right now. Heartbroken, lost cash, and regret. I don't wanna make this mistake ever again. Thanks your input. Really appreciate it. I needed that push and a sense of direction

 

[gabelogan]

get your shit together...get a decent job to finance your needs (first)..get a new hobby...(fishing / mtb) they are expensive too but if you invest fully in it...you won't be spending $$ everyday ( if that's how much you frequent a provider)...you will be spending more time in the wilderness and outdoors. This COVID has got me saved up nicely I was able to afford a decent mountain bike and a new fly rod and reel. Fishing is a good mental therapy...mountain biking is great physical...don't get me wrong...I'd still hobby once this pandemic is done...but i've mellowed down because of my other hobbies.

You're right. I do need to get my shit together and I need more fulfilling hobbies. I don't hobby everyday. I used to see the girl I fell for about 3 to 4 times a month last year and blew most of my savings on her. In fact, I haven't seen a provider for a couple months because I just can't afford it. My main goal currently is to land a good job after I graduate so Im hoping for the best. Appreciate your input

 

[gabelogan]

Be thankful you learned this lesson early. The profession is just entertainment, there’s no substance to it.

You can’t make a ho a housewife. It’s impossible.

Take a step back, work on your friendships with other people and when you return to hobbying you will do so with a clearer perspective

Totally agree with you. In a way, I'm thankful she hurt me because I learned a difficult but important lesson. I do want a relationship and want to settle down with someone eventually so this hobby probably isn't beneficial to someone like me in the long term.

 

[password88]

Now you know she’s all about your money, make an appointment to see her again and this time, come on her face and call her all the names she deserves. You met her as a hoe and she’ll never change.

 

[malata]

it's ok to fall in love. you just needs to make sure you can afford it

 

[password88]

Very disturbing! You must be real loser to do that. Whoever is doing this will only become more emotionally damaged. If this is your actual state of mind, I feel sorry for women who see you.

So, in your opinion it’s okay for her to play him emotionally?

 

[gabelogan]

Now you know she’s all about your money, make an appointment to see her again and this time, come on her face and call her all the names she deserves. You met her as a hoe and she’ll never change.

She played the fuck out of me emotionally. She was a great actress. She's an older woman too. Much older than me. About 20 years to be exact so she should've known better than to exploit someone going through severe emotional and mental health issues But I would NEVER do something like that. It's just not me. I don't want to hate her. She was just a great business woman offering a service that felt very real. She's just a hustler doing her job. I have to move on and be a better and stronger person.

 

[gabelogan]

Thanks for sharing your story, it is a cautionary tale for all the lonely souls including yours truly.

Please don't see SPs if you are feeling down. Don't beat yourself for this. Your emotions are real, your feelings toward that SP were real it's just that it was misplaced. That friendship between you and the provider could have very well been real. Just like friendship between a business person and a client or between co-workers. When you start working, you'll realize such feelings are real but they only last as long as the formal relationship that ties you both lasts. Going back and cursing yourself for having such feelings will only make you feel bad and deepen your pain. To be honest, I feel really down sometimes and shed a tear or two. That's ok as long as you realize the very folly of it and wakeup fresh another day.

Sounds like you are bright student and you are likely to make good money in the future. Set yourself a regular contributory program, set a solid financial goal. Once your financial goals are met, see SPs if you really have to. Only see those who are known to have an empathic personality and providers who are mature. It's critical because you don't want to be played up emotionally. It's ideal if you have a real unpaid romantic relationship. In its absence, surround yourself with good friends and family. That way you are not depending on SPs for emotional support. Just for some escape now and then. You still have years ahead of you. I hope along with a job you'll get a fiancé when you graduate.

Again, let bygone be bygones. Crush a coffee mug, laugh out loud and go win my friend!

This message made me tear up a little. Thank you for your empathy and inspiration. I really did feel something real for her and I thought we had a genuine connection. It felt real and its upsetting to me how in her eyes, it meant nothing. I'm a very sensitive person so I feel really hurt. I do have big goals for myself and I'm working very hard to achieve them. You're 100% right about setting up financial stability and then only seeing empathetic personality providers in the future. I'm grateful that I do have a lot of supportive friends and family members. Although, I could Never discuss this particular issue with any of them, hence why I'm posting anonymously lol. My life is not entirely a tragedy but we all carry some kind of pain. Your response was really encouraging so thank you again

 

[password88]

No, it wasn't ok. She either exercised poor judgment or she does operate an unethical business. But that's not an excuse to treat her that way. It's not ok to call any woman hoe in derogatory manner.
Just your opinion. Have you ever read any of ROCCO’s reviews? I’m entitled to my opinion.


You are a good man! She should have known better. Forgive her and try hard to move on. Remember this, no woman for that matter any human deserves to be treated poorly. Anybody who takes that deranged route suggested by that password guy is sure to NEVER get a partner who truly loves him.

 

[farquhar]

She should have known better. Forgive her and try hard to move on.

What she knew was she had a reliable source of income - and she took advantage of it until there was no money left.

I am reminded of the Bust-out scene from Goodfellas - I'm going to post the vid in order to cheer this thread up a little.

 

[password88]

Have you ever read any off ROCCO’s reviews? What’s wrong with coming on her face and calling her names? A lot of reviews, people likes to act like porn and come on their face. Idiot.

 

[james t kirk]

I'm a 22 year old dude that fell in love with an escort. I'm an emotionally damaged person(deal with depression and anxiety) and I've blown thousands on this "hobby" for years to escape from my personal issues. I saw my first escort when I was 18. I started seeing a girl last year and over time I fell for her. I spent hours and months seeing her regularly.She helped with my emotional issues and so I kept seeing her. I spent all my savings on her like an idiot. She obviously did not feel the same way. I even thought she genuinely cared about me lol but it was obviously all about money and the moment I ran out of money, she stopped texting me and pretending to care lol. The whole time she pretended to really care about me and told me she doesn't care about money. She would say we're "friends" and that she genuinely cares.That was obviously not true lol. Anyways, I know she's a provider and she is not in the wrong here. She is here to sell a fantasy and I bought into it. I am the idiot here. I'm NOT a stalker nor a creep so I'm NOT going to cause any harm to this girl in any way.I will not EVER disclose her name or anything of that sort. I know that I don't deserve anything other than the time I pay for. I'm just here looking for suggestions on how I can deal with this hurt that I'm going through. Also, I know I'm an idiot for getting into this hobby at such a young age especially since I can't even afford it. I've gone into debt doing this and I'm left feeling hurt and heartbroken. I welcome any advice and criticism. I want you guys to tell me how stupid I am so I never do this again. This hobby has turned into an addiction and I don't wanna do this anymore especially not while I'm young. I'm a university student in a respectable program so I am doing something productive with my life and I have my shit together in other aspects of my life(work, school) so I'm not a complete loser lol. I started dealing with depression and anxiety while I was in school and ever since then, I've used this hobby as a coping mechanism. I am too afraid to date girls in real life even though I'm a good looking and funny guy( as I've been told my many people). Please help me. Please offer some advice. Tell me how stupid I am so my sex addicted brain can stop doing this and go chase after real women.

Don't worry buddy, like acne, this addiction eventually goes away on its own.

Only problem for you is that usually occurs in your late 40's or so. So at your young age, if you keep it up, you'll be reduced to a puddle of goo by that time.

I don't know how you do it frankly. When I was 22 and in university, I could barely afford a panzerotti on a Friday night.

(Am I the only one who is skeptical about the legitimacy of gab's post?)

 

[Sonic Temple]

Mate - golden rule - never fall in love. So it happened to you, not an issue because that is human nature - the FACT that you recognize what is going on around you is BRILLIANT! That hurdle has been cleared, you gotta understand that. Now what....... The road to recovery is a lot easier because you actually know what you have done, how it happened, how you fed the addiction, why you fed the addiction and finally you acknowledged what needs to happened and what your weakness' are.

You are miles ahead and what you need to do is concentrate on SCHOOL mate. This will feed whatever you want to do in the future. Depression and anxiety is downright awful - you need to deal with this first either by therapy or medication or even both - get this DONE first - this is your base. Solidify the base and in your life your structure will forever stand on its own.

You are young and you are miles ahead in maturity - this is shown from your post -now use that to get help - many don't admit or realize what needs to be done, YOU DO!

Get help because at 22 - you have a lifetime to live debt free. First step is in parallel - Education + Therapy/Medication. Stabilize this, once stabilized you will meet women and who knows...but give yourself a chance to get there.

I wish you all the best mate - but know that you have been heard.

Keep us updated on your progress.

 

[Just Looking For A Latina]

My advice ...

- you need to deal with you issues now concerning abusive past.
- is to act now to improve your outlook on life.
- is that school can wait, your mental health needs to taken care of now.

- is to recognize the money is gone. Let it go.
- is determine what do you plan to do with the money you earn going forward.
- understand this is not a hobby, rather an addiction, an escape, an alternative to relationships.

You have guts stepping up and admitting what happened. Therefore, you are strong. Build on that strength.

Learn from what happened. Learning is a change in behaviour. If you continue to see SP's and spend too much money, then you know you have not learned.

 

[gabelogan]

Mate - golden rule - never fall in love. So it happened to you, not an issue because that is human nature - the FACT that you recognize what is going on around you is BRILLIANT! That hurdle has been cleared, you gotta understand that. Now what....... The road to recovery is a lot easier because you actually know what you have done, how it happened, how you fed the addiction, why you fed the addiction and finally you acknowledged what needs to happened and what your weakness' are.

You are miles ahead and what you need to do is concentrate on SCHOOL mate. This will feed whatever you want to do in the future. Depression and anxiety is downright awful - you need to deal with this first either by therapy or medication or even both - get this DONE first - this is your base. Solidify the base and in your life your structure will forever stand on its own.

You are young and you are miles ahead in maturity - this is shown from your post -now use that to get help - many don't admit or realize what needs to be done, YOU DO!

Get help because at 22 - you have a lifetime to live debt free. First step is in parallel - Education + Therapy/Medication. Stabilize this, once stabilized you will meet women and who knows...but give yourself a chance to get there.

I wish you all the best mate - but know that you have been heard.

Keep us updated on your progress.

I posted my story thinking people were probably gonna make fun of me and shame me for my actions but you guys have been really encouraging. I feel really inspired to take control of my life again. I am currently taking medication that somewhat helps and I am in the process of finding the right therapist. I will put in more effort into treating my mental health issues. I look forward to making better financial decisions down the line.School has always been my number 1 priority and I'm working my ass off and fighting my depression everyday. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much these words of encouragement mean to me!

 

[wazup]

This is going to be a 20 pager, I would put most of the blame on her. Professionally she should have backed off instead of feeding you lines of bullshit.

 

[luvyeah]

OP, I'm close to your age, and similar circumstances; reading this I can sympathize.

I think the one healthy way to continue this is to give that provider and yourself space.
See others or just go cold turkey. It's easier to quit and get a hold of yourself than some other addictions. Plus you can always jerk off, just try to develop some self control.

So that when you want to splurge and partake in these pleasures there is a reward system set up that drive your important goals, whatever they may be.
Like just stop seeing SPs for an extending time to give yourself a reality check (your wallet will thank you), yes almost 99% of the time you are simply an ATM which you found out in a difficult way.
People want to blame the provider, but this is how almost all businesses operate; revenue is the number one priority.

It can be a dangerous game, best advice I can give is to just take a break. Make sure it isn't a need, because it really isn't despite Maslow's hierarchy of needs claiming so.
Try to build relationships with normal people, isolation can be a bitch, and covid doesn't help anyone who is already introverted and most importantly never share this part of you. Remember the first rule about fight club.

In essence, your penis will function for another 50/60 or so years, so in the mean time try to improve yourself and put the breaks on this hobby.

Feel free to DM if don't wish to share anything personal, I'd love to discuss.

 

[Tashki]

Mate - golden rule - never fall in love.

I don’t like this rule. Falling in love with an escort is beautiful. The sex is amazing; Especially when they look like a pornstar.



And you never ever ever have to worry about them liking you back.

 

[Born2Star]

OP, trust me, 90% of the Johns here have fallen in love or at least grown feelings with a provider... and the other 10% are lying.

Cause we are only human.

You’re young, you actually got less to loss than most. I’m not gonna tell my story here but I’m a couple of wrong decisions away from losing my family my kids and all. I’m lucky as the lady herself was mature enough to walk away.

Im more worried about your mental problem. Seek therapy or even religion. Whatever fixes this. Then move on. You have good education you’ll find a good job make money etc. But stop this hobby for a while.

And when one day you come back to the scene at the older and right age, you will know you’re a wiser man and what not to fall for and just enjoy the fun.

Good luck.

 

[daytimelover]

When I sometimes feel I am getting to attached to one girl. I see other girls to break that feeling, work for me almost everytime.