Emotions - 1 step further - getting duped

[Oogabooga]

Yes, guys do need to wisen up - especially when it comes to seeking attention from women who do it for money. Sometimes they need to hear it from another guy. Like in forums, for instance.

Like this thread, for instance.
So I'll say it.

Dudes, don't get confused. Have your fun, but really, we're little more than mobile ATMs to dancers, MPs and SPs.

If you want quality companionship from someone who sees you as an equal, ya ain't gonna find it with an hourly price tag. Any servicewoman who claims differently is trying to snow you.

 

[twizzler2]

Yes, guys do need to wisen up - especially when it comes to seeking attention from women who do it for money. Sometimes they need to hear it from another guy. Like in forums, for instance.

Like this thread, for instance.
So I'll say it.

Dudes, don't get confused. Have your fun, but really, we're little more than mobile ATMs to dancers, MPs and SPs.

If you want quality companionship from someone who sees you as an equal, ya ain't gonna find it with an hourly price tag. Any servicewoman who claims differently is trying to snow you.

Ooga, I know you've gotten burned, and I think everyone has to greater or lesser extents ( including sps).

If that attitude helps you keep your senses about you and prevents you from getting burned, that's a good thing, for the short term.

On one extreme you might adopt the attitude that all SPs are saints and should trusted without question. At the other extreme is closer to what you're proposing which is trust none of them.

The truth of the situation is somewhere in between, and it takes much greater skill and personal fortitude to feel comfortable somewhere in the middle where you don't assume you know who or what a person is about before you ever meet them. It takes courage to be yourself, to set your own limits and stick to them, to allow yourself the risk of being disappointed when someone crosses your personal boundaries. The rewards are worth it. You get to meet and spend time with real people.

The extremes are far worse, either you're a doormat or you're hard. Neither has a positive outcome and I don't think for a second they are an emotionally healthy or even safe place to have your frame mind. At one end you're always the victim and are hurt, and at the other end you're never the victim but don't get to feel. The absence of pain is not pleasure in my book.

You may not be ready to try to do this just yet, but realize that finding that place balances how vulnerable you are with how much you enjoy yourself takes time and practice and is really a never ending process. The rewards however are part of that intangible pleasure of human interaction.


hope that helps,

Twiz

 

[JoyfulC]

Yes, guys do need to wisen up - especially when it comes to seeking attention from women who do it for money. Sometimes they need to hear it from another guy. Like in forums, for instance.

Like this thread, for instance.
So I'll say it.

Dudes, don't get confused. Have your fun, but really, we're little more than mobile ATMs to dancers, MPs and SPs.

If you want quality companionship from someone who sees you as an equal, ya ain't gonna find it with an hourly price tag. Any servicewoman who claims differently is trying to snow you.

Actually, this is pretty solid advice.

I would argue that we don't view customers as "ATMs" -- in most cases, we EARN the money we make. I can't speak for those who play upon customers' vulnerabilities to ask for loans and such because I've never done that. But for those of us who only get from customers the money we earn, it's not the same thing as going to an ATM and making a withdrawal -- just like no employee of a corporation could claim that they view the company as an ATM.

But you're absolutely right, Ooga: "If you want quality companionship from someone who sees you as an equal, ya ain't gonna find it with an hourly price tag."

And similarly, to an SP, I'd say you aren't going to find true love from some guy who is willing to pay you by the hour to provide him service. So if it feels good, enjoy it! But watch your business because, if you don't, you're just going to end up getting ripped off.

..c..

 

[lunarianqueen]

Well, why do you think I got hooked on her? She said, "I gotta surprise for you", an then she sat on it. It was just about the only thing (even in those younger, naiver days) that could get me hooked on a girl. And since it happened back in the early 90's, and I'm still around to talk about it, I guess I lucked out of it, none the worse for the wear.

interesting!

 

[JoyfulC]

there has been a gentleman in the past who's company I may have enjoyed more than others, and I have invited him to return at no cost to him. I'm not telling this man I love him, or want to be with him, I made clear my sexual intentions. What I would never do is mislead someone just to get their money. Like i said, this guy no longer has to pay for my company but at the same time we do not have a "relationship" and we're both ok with an occasional romp.

Okay, I'm scratching my head at this one. If you simply enjoy the sex with him, why not get paid to enjoy it too? Why give it to him for free? It seems to me like this is the surest way to ruin a good thing! And there's got to be throngs of men out there you will enjoy the sex with.

Do you, for a moment, think that any of the guys here would "like you so much" that they'd give you the money, no strings attached, nothing expected in return?

Get your head on straight, girl. My old boss, back home -- a crusy old doll who, despite her fearful appearance and pitt bull personality, never lacked for devoted regulars -- used to tell us this:

Get the money. If you can't do anything else, at least get the money.

If you can get the money and still make sure the guy has such a good time that he can't wait to come back, go for that too.

Lastly, if you can get the money and make sure he wants to come back, if you can still manage to really enjoy yourself, then go for it!

But for goodness sakes, maintain a professional focus.

..c..

 

[Forkyew]

Joyful, money is a limiting factor for most of us. If you like me and you want me to see you on a regular basis, I am not going to be able to do that if you charge me every time. By offering it for free, Alexxis gets it went she wants it rather than waiting until he can afford it.

 

[alexxxis]

Okay, I'm scratching my head at this one. If you simply enjoy the sex with him, why not get paid to enjoy it too? Why give it to him for free? It seems to me like this is the surest way to ruin a good thing! And there's got to be throngs of men out there you will enjoy the sex with.

Do you, for a moment, think that any of the guys here would "like you so much" that they'd give you the money, no strings attached, nothing expected in return?

Get your head on straight, girl. My old boss, back home -- a crusy old doll who, despite her fearful appearance and pitt bull personality, never lacked for devoted regulars -- used to tell us this:

Get the money. If you can't do anything else, at least get the money.

If you can get the money and still make sure the guy has such a good time that he can't wait to come back, go for that too.

Lastly, if you can get the money and make sure he wants to come back, if you can still manage to really enjoy yourself, then go for it!

But for goodness sakes, maintain a professional focus.

..c..

well i seriously hope i dont get banned for this, i dont think i'm advertising...rather DISCUSSING A TOPIC...
i'll take my chances.
I'm actually still seeing the guy.
It's become more regular.
I get what I want from him, which like stated b4, IS NOT HIS MONEY.
we have great chemistry and enjoy each other's compnay IMMENSELY.
(it's not even all about sex anymore, only most of the time, haha)
I do maintain a professional attitude with all my clients, exception of this gentleman. I wasn't looking for this, wasn't waiting for it to happen, it just DID. Further than that i can't explain. now as your comment for take his money and still make him come back, WOW. that's all i can even really say. UTTERLY SPEECHLESS.
I think it's EXTREMELY important to keep business and pleasure seperate and that is EXACTLY what I've done here. Had i met this guy in any other cicrumstances, he woulda never paid at all.

 

[The Lurker]

Hmmm.

Have to side with Alexxxis on this one. I have meet a lot of great women in my time, while I am not having sex with any I do have some friends. The same also goes for the dreaded Dancers too. I don't see them professionally anymore, just as friends.

Generally it does not really matter where you meet friends just as long as people realize that it maybe more problematic when you meet them professionally. One dancer I met when she kicked my beer across a club. Been taking it up ever since. Stopped seeing her last year even before she stopped dancing.

I think many may see it as one taking advantage over the other. If that is the case, I would imagine there is not much of a friendship there. Just my two Euros, but folks tend to see things so black and white in this hobby.

 

[Forkyew]

I find it very odd that Joyful has chosen to comment on a statement made by Alexxxis 5 pages ago. It is as if she is trying to bait Alexxxis who was recently on the banned list. Play nice ladies, please.

 

[alexxxis]

well seeing as none of the ladies speakin up are in blue - i better not get banned for this!

 

[The Lurker]

Doubt it. JoyfulC is not like that, the woman I have met and talked to has worked for many years with lots of stories she could tell. She does have some strong convictions and was just posting her point of view. Ladies need to lean on each other, if they can't on the Gov't.

As for banning, Terb is pretty fair with ladies just wanting to post for posting's sake.

 

[The Lurker]

WELL!............I do not mind playing the devils advocate..........................

BAN HER!

Lol I believe the phrase is "Burn her she's a witch!". But not in this case. As for the Devil's Advocate, Al Pacino would be much more subtle... lol Young Padawan... May the Farce be with ye.

 

[alexxxis]

WELL!............I do not mind playing the devils advocate..........................

BAN HER!

u know if u dislike me u don't have to make an idiot of yourself insulting me continuously.
u can jst go into the user CP and put me on the ignore list
u'd never see another post from me again.
get a life while ur at it.

 

[JoyfulC]

I musta missed something -- someone got banned?

Sorry, but I don't get on here as regularly as some of you do. And there's a lot to read, so I probably don't always respond in as timely a fashion as many of you are able to.

..c..
(ps to Alexis -- it usually doesn't work, but everyone once in a while, something wonderful happens. Best of luck to you.)

 

[JoyfulC]

Joyful, money is a limiting factor for most of us. If you like me and you want me to see you on a regular basis, I am not going to be able to do that if you charge me every time. By offering it for free, Alexxis gets it went she wants it rather than waiting until he can afford it.

Well, that's her choice and she's entitled. Still, I'm a bit puzzled by it.

As for charging guys every time, of course I must! This is how I make my living. Yes, I have personal needs, as well, and I have a life partner for that. In addition, I enjoy what I can when I can. But for myself, I decided long ago that when there's a conflict between business and pleasure, business must come first. For one thing, if I were existing simply for pleasure, I certainly wouldn't have to rent and maintain an apartment and pay for advertising, cell phones, web sites, etc. I don't think of myself as an unusually attractive woman, but perhaps I'm sensual and perhaps there are a lot of receptive people out there because I feel like I can't even go to home depot without getting flirts and very warm smiles. I'm sure it would be no problem to take it further in some instances, but on a personal level, I'm just not set up for that.

Just as money is a limiting factor for you in that you perhaps can't afford to see an SP as often as you'd like, it's also a limiting factor for me in that, unless I'm getting paid, I can't justify spending time with someone. It sounds cold put that way, but the alternative would be that I wouldn't be available at all. If this wasn't what I did for a living, I doubt I would ever find myself in these circumstances with the men I see.

I guess we all have to live within our limits, and enjoy what they allow.

..c..

 

[alexxxis]

u don't understand , ur puzzled....but why??
u have a "life partner"....does this person PAY YOU?
i am assuming no.
so what exactly is it that u don't understand?
is it the plain fact that ONCE AND ONLY ONCE, he was a client? is THAT the problem?

 

[Forkyew]

"As for charging guys every time, of course I must! This is how I make my living."

Do you charge your SO? I think Alexxxis would like to think of this guy as her SO rather than her client. Consequently, she doesn't charge him, or perhaps he is charged in the same way a regular bf is charged - dinner, drinks, entertainment etc. Still, it is entirely up to her whether or not she wants to treat a guy like a client or her friend.

Also, I genuinely believe that there is an emotional connection that is lost through a direct transfer of cash. Perhaps, she wants that emotional connection. I don't know. Let her speak for herself.

 

[alexxxis]

Dead On.

 

[JoyfulC]

u don't understand , ur puzzled....but why??
u have a "life partner"....does this person PAY YOU?
i am assuming no.
so what exactly is it that u don't understand?
is it the plain fact that ONCE AND ONLY ONCE, he was a client? is THAT the problem?

Well... he doesn't pay me a set rate. But rather, all he has is mine and all I have is his. Not exactly a "customer/service provider" relationship. We've been through many experiences together -- some exhilarating, some devastating. It's not just a relationship of mutually satisfying sex.

I have seen customers and service providers go forward to have healthy relationships -- but it's exceedingly rare.

And I'm sorry that you would be so ignorant of what life and love has to offer that you'd compare my relationship with my life partner to getting it on for free with a client. When your client has sat with you in the emergency room when you've got bones sticking out of your skin, cleaned up your vomit off the floor when you've been sick, bottomed out his bank account and credit to help you pull through on your dreams, put up with your parents' obnoxiousness, held your hand and cried with you through the loss of a child -- THEN maybe you can compare him to my life partner. But until then, please don't make the mistake of thinking that because you and your freebie guy are having great sex just like me and my life partner that it's the same thing. It's just not at all.

Clients don't come to us for all that described above. They come to us for a good time -- nothing more, nothing less. And that's the privilege they pay for.

..c..

 

[Forkyew]

I am certain that this situation with Alexxis's friend began as a sex for money arrangement, progressed to a mutual sex for fun arrangement, and has now progressed to something more. This may or may not be the man who will empty his bank account, or clean up her vomit, or .... etc. But, she is having fun. Let her enjoy herself.

Joyful, although I am happy for you that you have a found a man to be your SO, it is arrogant and exceedingly presumptuous to pass judgement on another person's relationship.