I think what she's talking about is not just cuddling, but actually not finishing till after the agreed time limit.repeat said:
Emotions - 1 step further - getting duped
- Thread starter Oogabooga
- Start date
That's an interesting question.At what point is it considered taking advantage of time. One meets with the escort, most likely having agreed on the amount of time already, they proceed to her play area. She sets a timer or music or just a clock on the wall and then they get on with the encounter. Everything moves along nicely , she finishes, he finishes and they lay together and cuddle after the encounter. The timer goes off, the music stops or what ever method is used for timing, does that mean get up get out, or is a little apres cuddling considered taking advantage. Who should make the first move, or is it just understood the time is up so move on? If you are just laying there holding each other and talking, is he then taking advantage of your time, even if there are no sexual advances made by him.
Just a few thoughts for the ladies.
I have always wondered the same thing.
Can some of the ladies elaborate on this?
"He was seeing me twice a week ( 2 hours at a time) and being as nice as I was to him, I'd go over time a bit. Ultimately I wanted to keep him as a regular." - Alexa Taylor
Alexa's statement sais it all. You are misleading people. You are pretending an interest you don't feel and then you whine about the consequences. If you are pretending to be 'nice' just to 'keep him as a regular' you get what you deserve because your ultimate motivation isn't friendship but money. A major point of friendship and REAL care is that you DO and SHOULD give freely.
I've been exploited enough times in my life by my supposed friends to realize that in most cases the fault is mine. I am failing to set limits for myself and for them. You need to train your friends right from the very beginning. People, friends or not, will almost always push your limits unless you set limits right from the very beginning.
Ladies, giving a guy extra time, to be 'nice', when in truth you are being 'nice' to capture him as your regular, only to whine later that he is taking advantage of you, is quite frankly an incredibly self-centered attitude.
Alexa's statement sais it all. You are misleading people. You are pretending an interest you don't feel and then you whine about the consequences. If you are pretending to be 'nice' just to 'keep him as a regular' you get what you deserve because your ultimate motivation isn't friendship but money. A major point of friendship and REAL care is that you DO and SHOULD give freely.
I've been exploited enough times in my life by my supposed friends to realize that in most cases the fault is mine. I am failing to set limits for myself and for them. You need to train your friends right from the very beginning. People, friends or not, will almost always push your limits unless you set limits right from the very beginning.
Ladies, giving a guy extra time, to be 'nice', when in truth you are being 'nice' to capture him as your regular, only to whine later that he is taking advantage of you, is quite frankly an incredibly self-centered attitude.
I didn't read Alexa's comments to mean that she was only going over to ensnare his regular business. I read it that she sincerely liked him and enjoyed his company, and since he was a good client anyway, she wasn't as strict as she might have been.
Sometimes it seems like people want to see wickedness and deception in an SP's every choice, but really, in every walk of life, don't people bend over backwards a little further to please their better accounts or the boss who has the power to promote them or give them a plum assignment or a raise?
But just like out there in the rest of the world, there are clients who sometimes (intentionally or unintentionally) take advantage, or bosses who walk all over the employees who treat them well in order to promote some jerk, sometimes we SPs also come to regret having been "lax" about time with a client. I think all Alexa was doing was describing such a situation from her own experience -- I don't see how you can equate that with being self-centred.
And besides, do you think our clients are dunces? If a guy pays for two hours, and gets 2-1/2 or three hours, don't you think they realize that they got extra time? And since the SP is a professional, who he met through an ad and phoned to make an appointment with, don't you suppose he understands that it's business for her and that being nice to him is part of what she's paid to do -- indeed, she wouldn't even be there if she wasn't being paid!
So surely a guy must know that he got more time and that she's a pro -- so he has _some_ responsibility for not taking more time than he's willing to pay for. And, of course, he always has the option of saying, "gee, I see we went an hour over -- here, let me pay you extra for it" or when he's booking his next appointment, he might say, "it seems like we've gone over our time for the past couple sessions, so maybe I should book a longer session this time."
Except don't hold your breath, because it doesn't happen that way!
I had a client earlier this year come in and go over his time, as usual. This had previously been a huge problem for us, but I recently lowered my rates a bit, adjusting to market conditions, and so with him, I never mentioned my lower rates and just stopped worrying about him going over. This worked fine for a few sessions.
But while this guy always professed to being just plain clueless about the time issue, I guess he figured he was a bit sharper in other areas. He noticed the rate change on my site. Then he comes and sees me, stays 2 hours on a 1 hour session, and afterward, says, "btw, I noticed the new rates -- do they apply to me too?" I told him they sure do -- and charged him the new rates. For both hours. He would have gotten the second hour for $50 as he had in the past and probably would have in the future, if only he hadn't been trying to be shrewd and sweeten his deal -- but now he pays the new rates and he pays for all the time.
Believe me, it's a huge issue with some guys, although not most. I've tried just about everything dealing with recalcitrant customers who seem determined to get extra time without paying. For example, one thing I sometimes do is make up playlists so I'll know that when a certain song is on, we're, say, 45 minutes into an hour session -- and I'll advise them of this and suggest they start gearing into wrapping things up. But some of them simply seem to view that as a challenge. I've tried (very sweetly!) noting to guys when they call to reschedule that since they went over their last few sessions, perhaps they need to book a longer one this time. Most guys who would take such a hint don't need it -- those who need it generally aren't going to take the hint, I find. As Alexa says, sometimes you have to let them go -- and like her, I share the sense of responsibility for having let things get out of hand in the first place. To some degree. But to some degree, the guys who do this are responsible too.
When is the session over? When the time you paid for is up. Most SPs will give you a bit of flex to get cleaned up and such, but at the point that the time you paid for is over, you shouldn't be expecting more cuddling -- you should be getting up and getting out of there so she can go on with her business day. Contrary to what some guys seem to think, we SPs aren't trust fund recipients. We're working women, trying hard to support ourselves and our families.
I appreciate the concept of wanting someone to like you for yourself, but if that's what you want, then don't call up an escort and expect it. I love the idea of a man cooking for me too, but when I go to a restaurant, I know the only reason I get served is because they expect me to pay.
..c..
Sometimes it seems like people want to see wickedness and deception in an SP's every choice, but really, in every walk of life, don't people bend over backwards a little further to please their better accounts or the boss who has the power to promote them or give them a plum assignment or a raise?
But just like out there in the rest of the world, there are clients who sometimes (intentionally or unintentionally) take advantage, or bosses who walk all over the employees who treat them well in order to promote some jerk, sometimes we SPs also come to regret having been "lax" about time with a client. I think all Alexa was doing was describing such a situation from her own experience -- I don't see how you can equate that with being self-centred.
And besides, do you think our clients are dunces? If a guy pays for two hours, and gets 2-1/2 or three hours, don't you think they realize that they got extra time? And since the SP is a professional, who he met through an ad and phoned to make an appointment with, don't you suppose he understands that it's business for her and that being nice to him is part of what she's paid to do -- indeed, she wouldn't even be there if she wasn't being paid!
So surely a guy must know that he got more time and that she's a pro -- so he has _some_ responsibility for not taking more time than he's willing to pay for. And, of course, he always has the option of saying, "gee, I see we went an hour over -- here, let me pay you extra for it" or when he's booking his next appointment, he might say, "it seems like we've gone over our time for the past couple sessions, so maybe I should book a longer session this time."
Except don't hold your breath, because it doesn't happen that way!
I had a client earlier this year come in and go over his time, as usual. This had previously been a huge problem for us, but I recently lowered my rates a bit, adjusting to market conditions, and so with him, I never mentioned my lower rates and just stopped worrying about him going over. This worked fine for a few sessions.
But while this guy always professed to being just plain clueless about the time issue, I guess he figured he was a bit sharper in other areas. He noticed the rate change on my site. Then he comes and sees me, stays 2 hours on a 1 hour session, and afterward, says, "btw, I noticed the new rates -- do they apply to me too?" I told him they sure do -- and charged him the new rates. For both hours. He would have gotten the second hour for $50 as he had in the past and probably would have in the future, if only he hadn't been trying to be shrewd and sweeten his deal -- but now he pays the new rates and he pays for all the time.
Believe me, it's a huge issue with some guys, although not most. I've tried just about everything dealing with recalcitrant customers who seem determined to get extra time without paying. For example, one thing I sometimes do is make up playlists so I'll know that when a certain song is on, we're, say, 45 minutes into an hour session -- and I'll advise them of this and suggest they start gearing into wrapping things up. But some of them simply seem to view that as a challenge. I've tried (very sweetly!) noting to guys when they call to reschedule that since they went over their last few sessions, perhaps they need to book a longer one this time. Most guys who would take such a hint don't need it -- those who need it generally aren't going to take the hint, I find. As Alexa says, sometimes you have to let them go -- and like her, I share the sense of responsibility for having let things get out of hand in the first place. To some degree. But to some degree, the guys who do this are responsible too.
When is the session over? When the time you paid for is up. Most SPs will give you a bit of flex to get cleaned up and such, but at the point that the time you paid for is over, you shouldn't be expecting more cuddling -- you should be getting up and getting out of there so she can go on with her business day. Contrary to what some guys seem to think, we SPs aren't trust fund recipients. We're working women, trying hard to support ourselves and our families.
I appreciate the concept of wanting someone to like you for yourself, but if that's what you want, then don't call up an escort and expect it. I love the idea of a man cooking for me too, but when I go to a restaurant, I know the only reason I get served is because they expect me to pay.
..c..
Quite frankly, I struggle greatly with the comparison that you and others have made between the sex industry and the rest of the service industry. Sex is only one small part of what you are selling. If sex were all you were selling then it would be very much like the mechanic, doctor, dentist etc. In contrast, you are selling something else that few other service related positions sell. You are selling an illusion. You are selling the illusion that you are actually attracted to the guy that you are screwing. Although there may be some clients who do attract you, I can say with absolute certainty that most are not attractive to you. This is where this whole being 'nice' issue becomes a big problem.
Recall how this thread began - Guys getting the wrong idea about a SP, MP, dancer actually being interested, and as a result they would find themselves ACTUALLY being exploited or simply disappointed. So long as you make a point of sticking to the time paid for, you send a clear message that this is business only. As soon as you step out of the time paid for, whether it is business only or your OWN pleasure, your real motivation suddenly becomes very ambiguous. 10 minutes over. umm that should be par for the course. Bank that in. 30 minutes ... 45 minutes ... 60 minutes and you're now trying to tell me, "that being nice to him is part of what you're (she's) paid to do"? Give me a break! What kind of game are you trying to play? When you go over your time limit like that without first negotiating with him, how can he possibly recognise your real motivation??
I hate that! I had a girl do something similar to me at strip club once. Lap dance. Lap dance. Suddenly her hands are up my shorts and she is jacking me off. I was drunk and didn't immediately react. I was surprised, but finally stopped her. The next thing she's trying to do is get an extra $80 out of me.
Don't give extra time or services without first negotiating. To give time away and then later hope he'll pay you for it is stupid and frankly very dishonest! Using the mechanic analogy, this is like replacing his wheels when all he asked for was to have them rebalanced.
Also, negotiating for the lowest possible price is normal business practice. If you are giving these extra hours, of course a guy is going to take advantage of it. This is very different from how this thread began, "Emotions - 1 step further - getting duped". These guys aren't duping you, they are attempting to get the lowest possible price.
Recall how this thread began - Guys getting the wrong idea about a SP, MP, dancer actually being interested, and as a result they would find themselves ACTUALLY being exploited or simply disappointed. So long as you make a point of sticking to the time paid for, you send a clear message that this is business only. As soon as you step out of the time paid for, whether it is business only or your OWN pleasure, your real motivation suddenly becomes very ambiguous. 10 minutes over. umm that should be par for the course. Bank that in. 30 minutes ... 45 minutes ... 60 minutes and you're now trying to tell me, "that being nice to him is part of what you're (she's) paid to do"? Give me a break! What kind of game are you trying to play? When you go over your time limit like that without first negotiating with him, how can he possibly recognise your real motivation??
I hate that! I had a girl do something similar to me at strip club once. Lap dance. Lap dance. Suddenly her hands are up my shorts and she is jacking me off. I was drunk and didn't immediately react. I was surprised, but finally stopped her. The next thing she's trying to do is get an extra $80 out of me.
Don't give extra time or services without first negotiating. To give time away and then later hope he'll pay you for it is stupid and frankly very dishonest! Using the mechanic analogy, this is like replacing his wheels when all he asked for was to have them rebalanced.
Also, negotiating for the lowest possible price is normal business practice. If you are giving these extra hours, of course a guy is going to take advantage of it. This is very different from how this thread began, "Emotions - 1 step further - getting duped". These guys aren't duping you, they are attempting to get the lowest possible price.
The reason I used that analogy was to illustrate that the same kind of effect can and does happen in a situation that is not emotionally charged. The fact that the effect is magnified the emotional aspect is really just more of a reason to be careful to make sure it doesn't happen to you or that you cause it to happen to someone else.
Many of us look for a GFE experience in order to get that emotional effect. Like you said, it's not just about the sex.
To continue where you left off...
Would you consider your mechanic dishonest if, when you came to pick up your car he said " I know you just brought it in to have the tires balanced, but I had these new ones here and it really looked like you could use them. So here you go, no extra charge."
Extravagantly generous, yes. Dishonest no.
Does he hope he will foster repeat business by such a gift, probably. Does that make him an evil conniving monster ? I think going above and beyond the expectations of a customer is a very standard way to encourage repeat business. Sometimes it's with tangible extras like the tires in example above, or a butcher who weighs a cut of meat, figures out the price and then throws in a little extra. In a business that's dealing in service rather than goods it's very common to do more than the customer is has negotiated for simply to show them you value their business. It's a way of showing appreciation rather than simply saying it.
You don't jump to the conclusion that you mechanic has a thing for you when he goes the extra mile, or that the butcher is staring lustfully at you ass when you leave the butcher shop. I think the same should apply for SP's. Don't jump to the conclusion they have a personal interest in you because they do the job that you paid them for well, or even go so far as to show you that they appreciate you business. Be happy that you found someone who is good enough at their job that they are convincing to you, and leave with a smile on you face.
If you frame your encounters in that context you will probably have less trouble with ones who are actually dishonest and manipulative. I believe that was the original intent of the thread.
T2
Many of us look for a GFE experience in order to get that emotional effect. Like you said, it's not just about the sex.
To continue where you left off...
Would you consider your mechanic dishonest if, when you came to pick up your car he said " I know you just brought it in to have the tires balanced, but I had these new ones here and it really looked like you could use them. So here you go, no extra charge."
Extravagantly generous, yes. Dishonest no.
Does he hope he will foster repeat business by such a gift, probably. Does that make him an evil conniving monster ? I think going above and beyond the expectations of a customer is a very standard way to encourage repeat business. Sometimes it's with tangible extras like the tires in example above, or a butcher who weighs a cut of meat, figures out the price and then throws in a little extra. In a business that's dealing in service rather than goods it's very common to do more than the customer is has negotiated for simply to show them you value their business. It's a way of showing appreciation rather than simply saying it.
You don't jump to the conclusion that you mechanic has a thing for you when he goes the extra mile, or that the butcher is staring lustfully at you ass when you leave the butcher shop. I think the same should apply for SP's. Don't jump to the conclusion they have a personal interest in you because they do the job that you paid them for well, or even go so far as to show you that they appreciate you business. Be happy that you found someone who is good enough at their job that they are convincing to you, and leave with a smile on you face.
If you frame your encounters in that context you will probably have less trouble with ones who are actually dishonest and manipulative. I believe that was the original intent of the thread.
T2
"Would you consider your mechanic dishonest if, when you came to pick up your car he said " I know you just brought it in to have the tires balanced, but I had these new ones here and it really looked like you could use them. So here you go, no extra charge."
Twizzler, you are absolutely right, if and only if he does this without any future expectations. It become dishonest when you do have an expectation. Giving a 'gift' of half hour - $100, one hour - $200 is very 'extravagant'. The extra time that these ladies are giving isn't 'free'. If you read carefully, you will recognise an implied price tag attached. Afterall, "surely a guy must know that he got more time and that she's a pro ...". This is very different from handing your client a fruit basket or bottle of wine as a gift, for example, at the completion of the deal. One is a simple thankyou, the other is arguably manipulation.
Twizzler, you are absolutely right, if and only if he does this without any future expectations. It become dishonest when you do have an expectation. Giving a 'gift' of half hour - $100, one hour - $200 is very 'extravagant'. The extra time that these ladies are giving isn't 'free'. If you read carefully, you will recognise an implied price tag attached. Afterall, "surely a guy must know that he got more time and that she's a pro ...". This is very different from handing your client a fruit basket or bottle of wine as a gift, for example, at the completion of the deal. One is a simple thankyou, the other is arguably manipulation.
I guess I don't see it quite that way,
I don't think the mechanics intent is what determines whether or not I am manipulated by, or appreciative of, his gift. In fact I would expect that he is at least hoping I become a repeat customer. If he gave me the free tires and then said "I would really appreciate it if you didn't come back" I would leave shaking my head.
I think either it's a gift or their are strings attached. If their are no strings attached then it up to me as a customer to decide in which frame of mind I accept the gift.
As a customer I have been guilty of seeing SPs who consistently spend a little more time with me than I book. In fact I didn't, at the time, think of it as an appreciative gesture on their part. I simply thought that's how they worked, they booked people for an hour and spent an hour and twenty minutes. I thought that was just par for course, so I didn't think of it as a gift. That's my fault. Certainly it was with an SP whom I enjoyed, and if she had suddenly started ending the sessions on the clock I would have taken it as message that she didn't really want me as a customer. Again this was because I was expecting the extra time rather than thinking of it as a gift.
I don't take full responsibility for thinking of the added value as normal. After all this was something she did every time I saw her and no mention of it was ever made. I think as a customer I have to set my expectations at the negotiated rate/time and be respectful of that agreement. As an SP I think always giving something away for free naturally creates the expectation in the customer that they will always get it. Making mention of the fact that extra time was given and that is not the norm would help with that expectation.
After all even the people who leave a fruit basket or a bottle of wine don't do so secretly or just leave it on the table when they leave. They make a point of handing it to someone and letting them know why they are giving it.
T2
I don't think the mechanics intent is what determines whether or not I am manipulated by, or appreciative of, his gift. In fact I would expect that he is at least hoping I become a repeat customer. If he gave me the free tires and then said "I would really appreciate it if you didn't come back" I would leave shaking my head.
I think either it's a gift or their are strings attached. If their are no strings attached then it up to me as a customer to decide in which frame of mind I accept the gift.
As a customer I have been guilty of seeing SPs who consistently spend a little more time with me than I book. In fact I didn't, at the time, think of it as an appreciative gesture on their part. I simply thought that's how they worked, they booked people for an hour and spent an hour and twenty minutes. I thought that was just par for course, so I didn't think of it as a gift. That's my fault. Certainly it was with an SP whom I enjoyed, and if she had suddenly started ending the sessions on the clock I would have taken it as message that she didn't really want me as a customer. Again this was because I was expecting the extra time rather than thinking of it as a gift.
I don't take full responsibility for thinking of the added value as normal. After all this was something she did every time I saw her and no mention of it was ever made. I think as a customer I have to set my expectations at the negotiated rate/time and be respectful of that agreement. As an SP I think always giving something away for free naturally creates the expectation in the customer that they will always get it. Making mention of the fact that extra time was given and that is not the norm would help with that expectation.
After all even the people who leave a fruit basket or a bottle of wine don't do so secretly or just leave it on the table when they leave. They make a point of handing it to someone and letting them know why they are giving it.
T2
I see your point Twizzler. It is often very difficult to differentiate between a "thanks. please come again.", manipulation, and standard practice.
I would be uncomfortable with the mechanic just changing my wheels without first talking to me. This is going just a little too far. I would question his motives. If he picked up the phone and said, "Hey, your tires are in real difficulty, I've got some spares here and I'll give you a reduced rate." I'd be very thankful and want to do business with him in the future. Similarily, if Joyful said to me "hey funforblueballs, you're going to go over your time. I'll give you an extra half just this once." I'd say, "thanks and hand her a big tip at the end".
I guess it is just my nature. If you are direct and honest with me, I'll treat you well. I don't like this attitude of quietly giving a guy a little extra time hoping that he'll notice and appreciate. It is slippery to me. It makes me uncomfortable.
I would be uncomfortable with the mechanic just changing my wheels without first talking to me. This is going just a little too far. I would question his motives. If he picked up the phone and said, "Hey, your tires are in real difficulty, I've got some spares here and I'll give you a reduced rate." I'd be very thankful and want to do business with him in the future. Similarily, if Joyful said to me "hey funforblueballs, you're going to go over your time. I'll give you an extra half just this once." I'd say, "thanks and hand her a big tip at the end".
I guess it is just my nature. If you are direct and honest with me, I'll treat you well. I don't like this attitude of quietly giving a guy a little extra time hoping that he'll notice and appreciate. It is slippery to me. It makes me uncomfortable.
Okay, so what about a casino that "comps" a high roller with a suite upgrade? Or even a hotel that upgrades a government employee or a corporate employee from a desirable company with a better accommodation?
But really, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. I don't think that Alexa at all implied that she gave the customer extra time to secure his regular business -- sounds like she already had that! But having been there myself, it was probably more like the other way around: he was a regular customer, a good paying one, and so he just went over. Could she say something about it? Sure. But for any person in any business, it can be hard to stand up to someone who is pushing past the limits of the contract. Believe me, I've seen it happen in plenty of other businesses!
The customer put her on the spot to have to tell him that the time was up -- but what? Was he disabled in some way? If he could afford a couple of 2-hour sessions a week, then I'm sure he was well aware that he was going over. Why put the SP in the uncomfortable position of having to play "mommy" and put the brakes on?? Wouldn't that spoil the mood for you? I know it always spoils the mood for me.
She didn't say that he did this, but there are some guys who fiddle around for the full session and THEN they decide they want to do this, and this and then some of that -- with 5 minutes left? This puts the SP in the uncomfortable position of having to either to be the "fun cop" and tell him that his time is just about up and there's no time for that, or choosing instead to let it ride for a bit longer to see if things can be wrapped up naturally on their own, without her having to deliver disappointing news.
This is one of the problems I have with MSOG. I had a guy today come in who popped off two in under half an hour -- I offered him a chance at a third, but he was honest enough to admit he didn't think he could manage it. As long as a guy sticks to the time he pays for, or pays for all the time he gets, I have no problem with MMSOG. Hell, I'm up for it. (I still think one long, slow, sexy prolonged one is better -- but it's their choice.)
The problem is when someone asks in advance if he can have MSOG, he does the first one, and then he can't quite get the second one. But he feels like he's "right there" -- the clock is ticking and he's begging you to hold on because he's "right there." More often than not, he doesn't get over the hump the second time, he goes way over his time, it creates an uncomfortable situation for both, and then doesn't offer to pay for the additional time he asked you to spend trying. That's quite annoying. That's why I'd rather employ a number of methods to prolong pleasure through teasing and edge play throughout a whole session than to take a chance on the old MSOG.
BUT, as many guys who've been with me will attest, when things wrap up short, I will very often bump a guy down to the shorter session rather than take his money for the longer session and send him out the door early or do the old chit-chat thing. (My clients can always phone or e-mail me if they want to chat. I don't charge for that, so it's silly to waste session time on it.)
Funforblueballs, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you are emotionally prepared to be doing this. It almost seems like you're saying that the only honest SP would be one who demonstrates nothing but disgust and contempt for you the whole time she's with you -- ???? That just doesn't make sense.
This is a service -- you should be phoning an SP to have a good experience. This is not an introduction service -- not a way to meet someone who likes you enough to be with you just for yourself. Don't get me wrong! An SP may very well like you. She may like you a lot!! The guy I talked about earlier in this thread is someone I could very easily fall for -- if I weren't already in a relationship. Of course, I realize that I don't know him outside of this venue -- I only know that time stands still when we're together!! But I'm also mature enough to know that a relationship involves a lot more than amazing sex.
And incidentally, we had "the talk." And we've seen each other since. He agreed that we should stick to our time -- and we did. But frankly, I felt rushed. I wonder if he didn't too. Did I do the right thing? Who knows??
You're wrong to think we aren't attracted to most. For myself, if I'm not attracted at all, then I'd rather not bother. There are too many guys I can find some reason to be attracted to, to be bothered with those I find unattractive.
..c..
But really, we're getting ahead of ourselves here. I don't think that Alexa at all implied that she gave the customer extra time to secure his regular business -- sounds like she already had that! But having been there myself, it was probably more like the other way around: he was a regular customer, a good paying one, and so he just went over. Could she say something about it? Sure. But for any person in any business, it can be hard to stand up to someone who is pushing past the limits of the contract. Believe me, I've seen it happen in plenty of other businesses!
The customer put her on the spot to have to tell him that the time was up -- but what? Was he disabled in some way? If he could afford a couple of 2-hour sessions a week, then I'm sure he was well aware that he was going over. Why put the SP in the uncomfortable position of having to play "mommy" and put the brakes on?? Wouldn't that spoil the mood for you? I know it always spoils the mood for me.
She didn't say that he did this, but there are some guys who fiddle around for the full session and THEN they decide they want to do this, and this and then some of that -- with 5 minutes left? This puts the SP in the uncomfortable position of having to either to be the "fun cop" and tell him that his time is just about up and there's no time for that, or choosing instead to let it ride for a bit longer to see if things can be wrapped up naturally on their own, without her having to deliver disappointing news.
This is one of the problems I have with MSOG. I had a guy today come in who popped off two in under half an hour -- I offered him a chance at a third, but he was honest enough to admit he didn't think he could manage it. As long as a guy sticks to the time he pays for, or pays for all the time he gets, I have no problem with MMSOG. Hell, I'm up for it. (I still think one long, slow, sexy prolonged one is better -- but it's their choice.)
The problem is when someone asks in advance if he can have MSOG, he does the first one, and then he can't quite get the second one. But he feels like he's "right there" -- the clock is ticking and he's begging you to hold on because he's "right there." More often than not, he doesn't get over the hump the second time, he goes way over his time, it creates an uncomfortable situation for both, and then doesn't offer to pay for the additional time he asked you to spend trying. That's quite annoying. That's why I'd rather employ a number of methods to prolong pleasure through teasing and edge play throughout a whole session than to take a chance on the old MSOG.
BUT, as many guys who've been with me will attest, when things wrap up short, I will very often bump a guy down to the shorter session rather than take his money for the longer session and send him out the door early or do the old chit-chat thing. (My clients can always phone or e-mail me if they want to chat. I don't charge for that, so it's silly to waste session time on it.)
Funforblueballs, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you are emotionally prepared to be doing this. It almost seems like you're saying that the only honest SP would be one who demonstrates nothing but disgust and contempt for you the whole time she's with you -- ???? That just doesn't make sense.
This is a service -- you should be phoning an SP to have a good experience. This is not an introduction service -- not a way to meet someone who likes you enough to be with you just for yourself. Don't get me wrong! An SP may very well like you. She may like you a lot!! The guy I talked about earlier in this thread is someone I could very easily fall for -- if I weren't already in a relationship. Of course, I realize that I don't know him outside of this venue -- I only know that time stands still when we're together!! But I'm also mature enough to know that a relationship involves a lot more than amazing sex.
And incidentally, we had "the talk." And we've seen each other since. He agreed that we should stick to our time -- and we did. But frankly, I felt rushed. I wonder if he didn't too. Did I do the right thing? Who knows??
You're wrong to think we aren't attracted to most. For myself, if I'm not attracted at all, then I'd rather not bother. There are too many guys I can find some reason to be attracted to, to be bothered with those I find unattractive.
..c..
I agree, I also think this is a tough subject to tackle in the moment, and the risk is that the customer feels rejected if he takes it wrong.
It's a bit of a catch 22, as customers we going looking (at least many of us do) for an SP who is capable of making us feel like this isn't just business , in fact we'll usually pay a premium for it. If we're lucky enough to find it we run the risk of being disappointed when we find out it is just business.
Maybe the solution is to leave ones self a note so when you get back home you can remind yourself of what you where looking for in the first place, and how lucky you are to have to be reading this in order to remind yourself.
T2
It's a bit of a catch 22, as customers we going looking (at least many of us do) for an SP who is capable of making us feel like this isn't just business , in fact we'll usually pay a premium for it. If we're lucky enough to find it we run the risk of being disappointed when we find out it is just business.
Maybe the solution is to leave ones self a note so when you get back home you can remind yourself of what you where looking for in the first place, and how lucky you are to have to be reading this in order to remind yourself.
T2
That's an unique idea!
Yes, I think you're right. Just as when we read a novel or see a movie, we expect to be absorbed in it, so it is with seeing an SP.
I read an amazing novel this week -- a gift from a client -- "The Devil of Nanking"" by Mo Hayder. It was really, really good and really sucked me into it. I'm a confirmed adrenaline junkie, as evidenced by 20+ years skydiving, racing, riding motorcycles, etc. And yet, this book made my hair stand on end in places. The night I finished it, I went to sleep with the TV on, and I guess the power went out at some point. I awoke to the sound of the TV going off, and believe it or not, my first thought was that this one creepy character from this book was in the apartment with me -- even though I know that's just plain ridiculous! But that's the evidence of a truly good book, eh?? Good enough to make me feel it, as though it were real.
We buy this all the time, in novels, movies, songs, video games. Of course we buy it in personal services too -- whether that be luxury restaurant or other purchases, or entertainment services such as this one.
A guy who can't separate the difference between an SP who is nice to him (and who might actually find things she's attracted to in him, while still being professional) and an SP who treats him with clinical coldness is someone who makes me feel afraid. This is the same kind of guy who can't distinguish movie or video game fiction from fact?? Maybe.
..c..
Yes, I think you're right. Just as when we read a novel or see a movie, we expect to be absorbed in it, so it is with seeing an SP.
I read an amazing novel this week -- a gift from a client -- "The Devil of Nanking"" by Mo Hayder. It was really, really good and really sucked me into it. I'm a confirmed adrenaline junkie, as evidenced by 20+ years skydiving, racing, riding motorcycles, etc. And yet, this book made my hair stand on end in places. The night I finished it, I went to sleep with the TV on, and I guess the power went out at some point. I awoke to the sound of the TV going off, and believe it or not, my first thought was that this one creepy character from this book was in the apartment with me -- even though I know that's just plain ridiculous! But that's the evidence of a truly good book, eh?? Good enough to make me feel it, as though it were real.
We buy this all the time, in novels, movies, songs, video games. Of course we buy it in personal services too -- whether that be luxury restaurant or other purchases, or entertainment services such as this one.
A guy who can't separate the difference between an SP who is nice to him (and who might actually find things she's attracted to in him, while still being professional) and an SP who treats him with clinical coldness is someone who makes me feel afraid. This is the same kind of guy who can't distinguish movie or video game fiction from fact?? Maybe.
..c..
Unfortunately both of you, Alexa and Joyful have taken this beyond the original scope of the thread, and Joyful. you did it with a very obnoxious, "you guys really need to grow up!" Your own attitude became very suspect after I read this. Please recognise that none of your clients that you have discussed are deceiving you. They are taking advantage of you. This thread was started because many SPs, dancers etc are being actively deceptive.
"Funforblueballs, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you are emotionally prepared to be doing this. "
Though I have been duped out of the business, I have never been duped in the business because I go with a clear objective. I think I am very uncomfortable with the emotional aspect of the so called safe Girl Friend Experience it seems very twisted to me which is why I joined this thread. I fear that these guys who have been duped are falling into an emotional trap. I think many escorts recognise this trap, and actively deceive their clients so that they can later exploit them. The SPs and dancers who do this are in the wrong.
Your issue is with guys who simply take advantage of your kindness. This is not the same issue that started this thread. It isn't even really a related issue.
"Funforblueballs, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think you are emotionally prepared to be doing this. "
Though I have been duped out of the business, I have never been duped in the business because I go with a clear objective. I think I am very uncomfortable with the emotional aspect of the so called safe Girl Friend Experience it seems very twisted to me which is why I joined this thread. I fear that these guys who have been duped are falling into an emotional trap. I think many escorts recognise this trap, and actively deceive their clients so that they can later exploit them. The SPs and dancers who do this are in the wrong.
Your issue is with guys who simply take advantage of your kindness. This is not the same issue that started this thread. It isn't even really a related issue.
Its actually all a pretty simple and eternal business practice.( Business 101) If I am doing business with someone, I never know if that person is going to do repeat business. I give them a fair price and good service. If after, the client decides to call me up and give me more business I will be extemely appreciative and bend over backwards to keep them happy. A repeat customer with ongoing business is worth much more than a once only customer. If they pay me and are fair with me I will generally end up providing MORE service for the SAME amount of profit. It is so much better to work with a customer I know, who pays and is fair then try someone new. Of course all within reason. I'm not going to go out of business to please a customer, just provide amazing customer service. I think you ladies need to understand that REGULAR customers DO deserve more. Its NORMAL business practice.
"i personally would never "dupe" anyone. I like to think I have a professional attitude. Now that being said, there has been a gentleman in the past who's company I may have enjoyed more than others, and I have invited him to return at no cost to him. I'm not telling this man I love him, or want to be with him, I made clear my sexual intentions. What I would never do is mislead someone just to get their money. Like i said, this guy no longer has to pay for my company but at the same time we do not have a "relationship" and we're both ok with an occasional romp. If this person were to ask me to stop escorting or "take it to the next level" i would as sweetly as possible let him know those aren't my plans. Too bad not everyone is on my wave lenght...honesty is a big thing. Watch out guys. Most times things that appear TGTBT...are.
(MOST times, not ALL)"
Ladies, please read this quote from Alexxxis from earlier in this thread. Would you be honest with this guy, or would you continue to collect your money?
(MOST times, not ALL)"
Ladies, please read this quote from Alexxxis from earlier in this thread. Would you be honest with this guy, or would you continue to collect your money?
Alexa, the misunderstanding that exists between you, Joyful and me exists because you have both stepped outside of the scope of the original post. What you are saying now makes complete sense. There is no disagreement here. This thread was about those women who actually intentionally deceive. Within that scope, your additional time given has a very different interpretation and motivation.
You are right. That is a very difficult challenge. From a guys perspective, outside of the business, where I have been fooled into a false state of hope, you need to recognise that some unscrupulous women are very good at recognising this weakened state in men, and DO exploit it for their financial/and other gain. If these same men go to the SP and dancer, they become a very easy target. I've been stunned by some guys who have dropped thousands of dollars hopeful that they might later get action. This reminds me a little of my earlier self when I was being too nice to women because I hoped they would like me and be my girlfriend. Yes, I needed to change myself, but this does not change the reality that these women who took advantage of me were unscrupulous.
Unfortunately, in my humble opinion, your other arguments fail because you are in a position of absolute power and control. You create the fantasy. You dictate the terms. Most of you take the money at the beginning of the appointment. If you are exploited, it isn't because of a weakened state in you, you have actually made a choice from a position of power - a choice based on your desire to maintain your business. Why would you put yourself in a position where you let a guy finish half hour or hour after his alotted time? 10 minutes over I can understand, and frankly I think it should be expected. At some point when that guy is still banging at you 15,20,30 minutes after is time allotment you have to have the courage to stop him. If he gets on this board and complains then please speak up and tell all of us what's going on. This suggestion is particularily valid for you Alexis given your long standing positive reputation.
Additionally, I think you will find that most people will appreciate you very much if you ARE as business like as possible AROUND the time allotment, but give as much as possible of yourself DURING the time. Those who don't apprecitate this, I think, should be avoided. Yes, I know, in a perfect world... but there are more decent guys out there than you might realize.
Unfortunately, in my humble opinion, your other arguments fail because you are in a position of absolute power and control. You create the fantasy. You dictate the terms. Most of you take the money at the beginning of the appointment. If you are exploited, it isn't because of a weakened state in you, you have actually made a choice from a position of power - a choice based on your desire to maintain your business. Why would you put yourself in a position where you let a guy finish half hour or hour after his alotted time? 10 minutes over I can understand, and frankly I think it should be expected. At some point when that guy is still banging at you 15,20,30 minutes after is time allotment you have to have the courage to stop him. If he gets on this board and complains then please speak up and tell all of us what's going on. This suggestion is particularily valid for you Alexis given your long standing positive reputation.
Additionally, I think you will find that most people will appreciate you very much if you ARE as business like as possible AROUND the time allotment, but give as much as possible of yourself DURING the time. Those who don't apprecitate this, I think, should be avoided. Yes, I know, in a perfect world... but there are more decent guys out there than you might realize.
As the person who started this thread, I stand up and cheer funforblueballs, as his point is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. We guys are the vulnerable ones here, and we're the ones giving the money. We wouldn't be doing ANY of it if we didn't have some kind of weakness, whether it be esteem issues, having a wife/girlfriend who won't provide us with what we guys need (which, unlike women, is something we guys NEVER talk about to anyone - we just wander around, try to cope, and end up at a stipclub, massage parlour, or cathouse), or are simply very lonely.
Either the woman in this scenerio (be it a dancer/mp/sp) is honest and upfront, or she is not. The man is not leading ANYONE on in this scenerio, and to pretend otherwise smells only like more 'truth-bending' to me. It IS that black-and-white when money is involved.
Either the woman in this scenerio (be it a dancer/mp/sp) is honest and upfront, or she is not. The man is not leading ANYONE on in this scenerio, and to pretend otherwise smells only like more 'truth-bending' to me. It IS that black-and-white when money is involved.
"Yes I do agree. However at the same time you have to be alert in knowing when NOT to be a doormat. Don't allow yourself to be victimized just because you are lonley or have certain issues."
Having been in this position, one doesn't recognise this reality in themselves until after the fact. Its like telling a drunk he should avoid the pub. He won't avoid the pub until he recognise he's a drunk and makes an active choice to stop drinking. Women are extremely good at recognising this weakness in men. Alexa, I'm certain that you can identify this type of guy the moment you meet him at the door.
Having been in this position, one doesn't recognise this reality in themselves until after the fact. Its like telling a drunk he should avoid the pub. He won't avoid the pub until he recognise he's a drunk and makes an active choice to stop drinking. Women are extremely good at recognising this weakness in men. Alexa, I'm certain that you can identify this type of guy the moment you meet him at the door.
