That's a really great comment. I've never seen those things written down so succinctly before. I've been manipulated by ladies outside the trade several times and they cost me far more (in money, time and frustration) than any SP ever could!Oogabooga said:
Emotions - 1 step further - getting duped
- Thread starter Oogabooga
- Start date
We all have.
At the same time, I'm no mysogynist, there's good and bad folks in all genres, races tints and creeds. There is a certain type of person I can't stand, and their classification is based solely on their individual intent over anything else.
At the same time, I'm no mysogynist, there's good and bad folks in all genres, races tints and creeds. There is a certain type of person I can't stand, and their classification is based solely on their individual intent over anything else.
One thing I noticed about myself is that I am a sucker for the symbolism of actions. When women tell you that they only do certain things for their boyfriends, I can see exactly the point now. Going further triggers emotions in them that can't be controlled. It's equally as true for the customers.
When I was young & naive, I used to think doing specific things meant that they were really serious about me. One specific kind of action that used to trigger strong emotions in me was BBBJTCIM or BBFS. If the woman trusted me enough to receive and keep a bit of me inside of her, then she must surely be serious about me, I used to think. I eventually found out that not all people associate the same symbolism to these actions as I did.
These days, I try keep it loose. If she wants to give me BBBJ, then she wants to give me BBBJ, and it means nothing more than that. However, if she wants to give me BBFS, then I draw the line right there, I figure that girl is not thinking properly at that moment in time, and I better do the thinking for the both of us. The decision to give BB-anything is a lapse of judgement from momentary emotions, usually not from deep emotions.
When I was young & naive, I used to think doing specific things meant that they were really serious about me. One specific kind of action that used to trigger strong emotions in me was BBBJTCIM or BBFS. If the woman trusted me enough to receive and keep a bit of me inside of her, then she must surely be serious about me, I used to think. I eventually found out that not all people associate the same symbolism to these actions as I did.
These days, I try keep it loose. If she wants to give me BBBJ, then she wants to give me BBBJ, and it means nothing more than that. However, if she wants to give me BBFS, then I draw the line right there, I figure that girl is not thinking properly at that moment in time, and I better do the thinking for the both of us. The decision to give BB-anything is a lapse of judgement from momentary emotions, usually not from deep emotions.
You guys really need to grow up!
Do you think that falling in love only works one way? Hell, we fall in love too. All the time. But most of us know better.
You complain that you fall for someone and then she asks you for a loan or for something out of the ordinary. Don't you suppose that we fall for clients who expect something for nothing from us too because they sense how we feel? IT HAPPENS!
Let's face it, people don't place ads or answer ads because they're looking for true love. Can it happen? Sure. You can win the lottery too, but it's not likely! (And I know this is lost on all those lottery ticket purchasers out there.)
All I can recommend to any hobbyist or SP who is feeling something special with their counterpart is to just enjoy the moment, and don't expect anything more. This is one of those perqs that life tosses us. If you expect more, you'll probably be disappointed. If you let it be a path to duping you, then you'll probably end up being used and duped.
Just take it for what it is. When it happens, enjoy it! Relish it! It doesn't always come around. It's a special "click" that only occurs every so often in nature. Don't put any other strings or dependencies on it. The person you click with may not be the most ethical in the world, nor may they be in a position to have a relationship with you. You didn't go looking for a relationship -- you went looking for a good time.
So take the good times and enjoy it. 'nuff said!
..c..
Do you think that falling in love only works one way? Hell, we fall in love too. All the time. But most of us know better.
You complain that you fall for someone and then she asks you for a loan or for something out of the ordinary. Don't you suppose that we fall for clients who expect something for nothing from us too because they sense how we feel? IT HAPPENS!
Let's face it, people don't place ads or answer ads because they're looking for true love. Can it happen? Sure. You can win the lottery too, but it's not likely! (And I know this is lost on all those lottery ticket purchasers out there.)
All I can recommend to any hobbyist or SP who is feeling something special with their counterpart is to just enjoy the moment, and don't expect anything more. This is one of those perqs that life tosses us. If you expect more, you'll probably be disappointed. If you let it be a path to duping you, then you'll probably end up being used and duped.
Just take it for what it is. When it happens, enjoy it! Relish it! It doesn't always come around. It's a special "click" that only occurs every so often in nature. Don't put any other strings or dependencies on it. The person you click with may not be the most ethical in the world, nor may they be in a position to have a relationship with you. You didn't go looking for a relationship -- you went looking for a good time.
So take the good times and enjoy it. 'nuff said!
..c..
JoyfulC, I totally agree with you and for the most part your advice is what I use when meeting a lady. This becomes very difficult to do when a gentleman see very few SPs or MPs or to one lady only for an extended period of time. It is difficult for the business relationship not to evolve into some kind of a friendship and maybe a little more. In is such cases I try very hard to stick to your advice but find it increasingly difficult not to feel something - how can't you when you've known a person for so long. Sticking to your advice and feeling the way I just describes above becomes a formula for some sadness and hurt. Its not easy, but like you said try to focus on the moment and enjoy it as something you have today, something special and something you will probably not have tomorrow.
Yeah, I know what you mean. There's a guy I've been seeing for a few months. I really really enjoy being with him -- and I know he's not the best heeled guy around. A half hour a week is his budget, and I respect that.
But what I don't like is that he always goes over his time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every minute I spend with him, but at the same time too, some part of me feels resentful that he's taking advantage of the "click" we're experiencing to sweeten his deal. If he wants more time, he should be willing to pay for it. That's the nature of our relationship.
I would never dream of exploiting the amazing connection we have to get something more out of him, and so I can't help but be disappointed in him that he would do it. It's eroding my respect for him and my comfort with the situation.
I guess I wish we could just keep it to the half hour. But since he doesn't seem able to realize it on his own, what will probably end up happening is we'll have "the talk" (... and after the #*@&! talk, usually nothing is ever the same again). Or if we don't have "the talk," (which is likely, since I abhor "the talk"), I'll probably just find excuses not to be available.
No one appreciates being taken advantage of. As an SP, I appreciate it when a guy sticks to the amount of time he pays for, without my having to mind it for him. If I were a hobbyist, I'd appreciate an SP who gave me a good value for the full time that I paid for (didn't try to push me out the door early) and who also understood that it's simply wrong to take advantage of any feelings or "click" to ask for favours or loans.
But sadly, people are more often than not the architects of their own unhappiness -- and more often than not, it happens in the process of trying to sweeten what's already a good deal. How ironic is that?
..c..
But what I don't like is that he always goes over his time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy every minute I spend with him, but at the same time too, some part of me feels resentful that he's taking advantage of the "click" we're experiencing to sweeten his deal. If he wants more time, he should be willing to pay for it. That's the nature of our relationship.
I would never dream of exploiting the amazing connection we have to get something more out of him, and so I can't help but be disappointed in him that he would do it. It's eroding my respect for him and my comfort with the situation.
I guess I wish we could just keep it to the half hour. But since he doesn't seem able to realize it on his own, what will probably end up happening is we'll have "the talk" (... and after the #*@&! talk, usually nothing is ever the same again). Or if we don't have "the talk," (which is likely, since I abhor "the talk"), I'll probably just find excuses not to be available.
No one appreciates being taken advantage of. As an SP, I appreciate it when a guy sticks to the amount of time he pays for, without my having to mind it for him. If I were a hobbyist, I'd appreciate an SP who gave me a good value for the full time that I paid for (didn't try to push me out the door early) and who also understood that it's simply wrong to take advantage of any feelings or "click" to ask for favours or loans.
But sadly, people are more often than not the architects of their own unhappiness -- and more often than not, it happens in the process of trying to sweeten what's already a good deal. How ironic is that?
..c..
you could try
Putting up a simple laminated note that would remind all of your clients that you A) enjoy the time you spend with them, so much so that you yourself occasionally lose track of time. and B) Even though you can enjoy yourself so much that you aren't watching the clock, if they find they are a customer who consistently goes over the arranged time to please monitor themselves or book longer sessions.
It seems reasonable and fair to me things should work this way.
It may take some of the sting out of the message if he feels it's not directed solely at him. You can put it up only when he visits ( or leave it up if you like )but laminating it would make it seem its wasn't intended solely for him like the conversation would.
Just a thought,
T2
Putting up a simple laminated note that would remind all of your clients that you A) enjoy the time you spend with them, so much so that you yourself occasionally lose track of time. and B) Even though you can enjoy yourself so much that you aren't watching the clock, if they find they are a customer who consistently goes over the arranged time to please monitor themselves or book longer sessions.
It seems reasonable and fair to me things should work this way.
It may take some of the sting out of the message if he feels it's not directed solely at him. You can put it up only when he visits ( or leave it up if you like )but laminating it would make it seem its wasn't intended solely for him like the conversation would.
Just a thought,
T2
Well I have to admit that I am really stupid... I have been seeing a lady who is not advertised for well over a year. Time and time again she reminds me that we both have our own life and this is an arrangment. Yet I have loaned her lots of money which she has paid back most of.. We go out for dinner together, and when she needs a shoulder to cry on I am there. I have met her family and have gone to her apratment to watch tv or movies on occaision with not more than that expected. I feel that there is more to the relationship even though down deep I know it is what it is.. I guess its hard to separate the act from the feeling when its over such a long length of time. I am at the point where I have to say we become friends with benefits or just friends and no more... The sex is so fantastic that I am addicted. I have tried several advertised SP's who are extremly hot but they just cant compare.
This thread is a bit of therapy and I hope we get more input to keep it going..
This thread is a bit of therapy and I hope we get more input to keep it going..
I completely agree. I was not going to respond to Joyful Spirit's comment, "You guys really need to grow up!" until I read this. Perhaps I misread the intended interpretation, Joyful. It sounded extremely judgmental. Perhaps, instead of judging you should join us with the common understanding that we all are falsely hopeful at times. Some people men and women, in and out of the sex industry, love to exploit this vulnerability that exists in all decent people regarless of their sex. Grow up? No. This is hardly relevant. Maybe you mean we should toughen up. You certainly sound rather toughened/hardened in a few of your recent posts in this thread and others. Sorry to attack you, but I was offended by this comment of yours, Joyful.ixlr82 said:
I'm sorry you picked one sentence out of a whole post to take offense at -- if anything, I was trying to point to some commonality between SPs and hobbyists: we are all vulnerable to "falling in love" or developing a special "click" with our counterparts. This certainly isn't something that only happens to poor innocent men at the hands of ruthless and greedy SPs. This is an intimate business, and such is the fruit of intimacy.
And sadly, nor is it only SPs who take advantage of such a situation. I was simply trying to point out that it's not at all uncommon for guys who realize that we feel this way to take advantage of us, too.
When I said "grow up" I meant grow up and realize that this is something that, sadly, people do to people -- it isn't just SPs doing it to hobbyists, or even vice versa. Friends take advantage of friends. Family takes advantage of family. Neighbours take advantage of neighbours. Ever been invited to a Tupperware party? Or had your neighbour show up at your door canvassing for some charity that you may or may not agree with? People put people on the spot all the time, and we all know how hard it can be to say "no" when we don't want to disappoint someone we want to like us.
And while I'd disagree with you that I'm "hard" I would admit to perhaps having a bit more common sense than some. Sometimes, even when a truth is unpleasant to behold, the only practical thing you can do is see it for what it is. If a customer has an SP hitting him up for loans, then I think that should raise a red flag -- does that make me ruthless and heartless? Or simply sensible? And when an SP has a favourite client who always stays over his time, I think that should raise a red flag too -- believe me, I know how hard it is to look at it that way, when you'd like to find any other excuse for it but that. But sadly, that's what it is.
..c..
(Thanks for the laminated sign suggestion. I'm not sure it would fit into my situation, but it's worth considering.)
And sadly, nor is it only SPs who take advantage of such a situation. I was simply trying to point out that it's not at all uncommon for guys who realize that we feel this way to take advantage of us, too.
When I said "grow up" I meant grow up and realize that this is something that, sadly, people do to people -- it isn't just SPs doing it to hobbyists, or even vice versa. Friends take advantage of friends. Family takes advantage of family. Neighbours take advantage of neighbours. Ever been invited to a Tupperware party? Or had your neighbour show up at your door canvassing for some charity that you may or may not agree with? People put people on the spot all the time, and we all know how hard it can be to say "no" when we don't want to disappoint someone we want to like us.
And while I'd disagree with you that I'm "hard" I would admit to perhaps having a bit more common sense than some. Sometimes, even when a truth is unpleasant to behold, the only practical thing you can do is see it for what it is. If a customer has an SP hitting him up for loans, then I think that should raise a red flag -- does that make me ruthless and heartless? Or simply sensible? And when an SP has a favourite client who always stays over his time, I think that should raise a red flag too -- believe me, I know how hard it is to look at it that way, when you'd like to find any other excuse for it but that. But sadly, that's what it is.
..c..
(Thanks for the laminated sign suggestion. I'm not sure it would fit into my situation, but it's worth considering.)
Well, to get back to the origin of this thread... what's a girl to do?Alexa Taylor said:
Not deliberatley decieving people is a start. And by that, I'm only referring to the ones that do this, not SPs or MPs who just do their job and inadvertaently have guys who've fallen for them.
Alexa, thanks so much for your comments. You're absolutely right that it's up to us to make sure we don't get taken advantage of, but I've been guilty of letting things get out of hand on occasions. It never comes to any good! (... but we don't usually go over because we're talking! 
)
Many many years ago, I ended up having to rebuild my entire client base simply because I was too lax about time. When I was single, and didn't have to coordinate my life around a partner, I was way too lax about time -- and really, that's not right since my rates are based on time.
But I did get really sloppy. And after I was married, I started needing occasionally to stick to a tighter schedule. At first, some of my clients who were used to getting double or more time for their money responded by acting like I was ripping them off. When I pointed out that they were only paying me for a certain amount of time, they pointed out that was true, but they were used to getting more. But still, I tend to attract really nice decent guys, and pretty much one and all agreed that it wasn't right to expect me to spend additional time with them, and that they should view it as a gift and not an entitlement when I did.
Unfortunately, that didn't solve the problem. Thereafter, clients would phone me up and ask for an appointment, but say, "are you going to be in a hurry today?" (In other words, they wanted to know if I would have to stick to the time they paid for or whether I'd be free to give them some extra.) If I said I had to stick to the time, they'd say perhaps we should make it another day when I had more time. Sometimes, I'd counter by asking them if they wanted a longer session, and they'd often point out -- and legitimately so -- that their budgets didn't really allow for that. I can understand that. But still, it left me with a large base of customers who were only interested in seeing me when I could give them extra time for free. It wasn't good.
I think that's just human nature, and I don't blame any of them for it. However, this is how I make my living, and I had to realize that I'd made some serious mistakes. I pretty much had to find new customers and, this time, keep better track of time. I believe with all my heart that the best situation is when the customer gets a quality experience that lasts pretty much the whole time he pays for -- and while I respect the ladies here who say they have clients who essentially come to them for conversation, that's not the case with the kind of guys I attract! I have guys who will exchange a couple dozen e-mails with me over a two week period, discussing current events or whatever, and yet, when we actually meet, we may not exchange a dozen words during the entire encounter. So go figure! I guess it's different for everyone and everyone's interests are different.
Anyway, while I've never once taken (or asked for a loan) or any other advantage from a customer, I just want to say that it's not just customers who find themselves on the wrong end of being taken advantage of. And I don't necessarily think that all people who take advantage are bad or malicious. Sometimes it's just human nature. Still, there would probably be a lot fewer problems if each of us kept ourselves in check that way.
..c..
)Many many years ago, I ended up having to rebuild my entire client base simply because I was too lax about time. When I was single, and didn't have to coordinate my life around a partner, I was way too lax about time -- and really, that's not right since my rates are based on time.
But I did get really sloppy. And after I was married, I started needing occasionally to stick to a tighter schedule. At first, some of my clients who were used to getting double or more time for their money responded by acting like I was ripping them off. When I pointed out that they were only paying me for a certain amount of time, they pointed out that was true, but they were used to getting more. But still, I tend to attract really nice decent guys, and pretty much one and all agreed that it wasn't right to expect me to spend additional time with them, and that they should view it as a gift and not an entitlement when I did.
Unfortunately, that didn't solve the problem. Thereafter, clients would phone me up and ask for an appointment, but say, "are you going to be in a hurry today?" (In other words, they wanted to know if I would have to stick to the time they paid for or whether I'd be free to give them some extra.) If I said I had to stick to the time, they'd say perhaps we should make it another day when I had more time. Sometimes, I'd counter by asking them if they wanted a longer session, and they'd often point out -- and legitimately so -- that their budgets didn't really allow for that. I can understand that. But still, it left me with a large base of customers who were only interested in seeing me when I could give them extra time for free. It wasn't good.
I think that's just human nature, and I don't blame any of them for it. However, this is how I make my living, and I had to realize that I'd made some serious mistakes. I pretty much had to find new customers and, this time, keep better track of time. I believe with all my heart that the best situation is when the customer gets a quality experience that lasts pretty much the whole time he pays for -- and while I respect the ladies here who say they have clients who essentially come to them for conversation, that's not the case with the kind of guys I attract! I have guys who will exchange a couple dozen e-mails with me over a two week period, discussing current events or whatever, and yet, when we actually meet, we may not exchange a dozen words during the entire encounter. So go figure! I guess it's different for everyone and everyone's interests are different.
Anyway, while I've never once taken (or asked for a loan) or any other advantage from a customer, I just want to say that it's not just customers who find themselves on the wrong end of being taken advantage of. And I don't necessarily think that all people who take advantage are bad or malicious. Sometimes it's just human nature. Still, there would probably be a lot fewer problems if each of us kept ourselves in check that way.
..c..
I knew an SP years ago who I got along well with and genuinely liked. We met socially outside of client/SP encounter for dinner or a movie, had each other's phone numbers and would chat just catch up or say hello. There was even some thinly veiled conversation about being more than just friends and how that might work. All of this stayed an arms length social conversation.
When I did call her for an appointment, I would say right off the bat the reason I was calling and not mix the two sorts of conversation much. She did the same and it didn't seem awkward. I never asked her for a discount and she rarely went over the scheduled time unless we were just talking at the end of our session together.
On one particular occasion I had an appointment with her for the whole evening (4 hours ) I think. I Didn't ask the rate but paid her 4X the hourly rate when she arrived. As she was putting the money away and I was fixing drinks she said;
"I don't want you to feel obligated in way, but I wanted to let you know that tipping is okay"
My entire perspective shifted because of that one little sentence. I hate people ASKING for tips, tips are voluntary by nature. All of the sudden I was thinking about all of the dinners and movie tickets I had purchased, how typically multiple hour rates were cheaper than a simple multiplier of the hourly rate. I thought to myself, If this wasn't tipping, what was ?
I attempted to save the moment by responding;
"I think your rate is fair..." and trailed off realizing there was no good way to end that sentence.
We spoke a few more times after that but things dwindled off pretty quickly. My problem was that I felt she was taking advantage of the situation and leveraging our personal connection to get more than she would have from another customer she didn't know. Unfortunately once that line is crossed there is no way to un-cross it.
I guess what I'm taking away from this thread is not only the solidification of the idea that this happens on both sides of the relationship but that it can happen without the person who is taking advantage intending to do so or realizing the extent to which they are doing so.
Good thread everyone.
T2
When I did call her for an appointment, I would say right off the bat the reason I was calling and not mix the two sorts of conversation much. She did the same and it didn't seem awkward. I never asked her for a discount and she rarely went over the scheduled time unless we were just talking at the end of our session together.
On one particular occasion I had an appointment with her for the whole evening (4 hours ) I think. I Didn't ask the rate but paid her 4X the hourly rate when she arrived. As she was putting the money away and I was fixing drinks she said;
"I don't want you to feel obligated in way, but I wanted to let you know that tipping is okay"
My entire perspective shifted because of that one little sentence. I hate people ASKING for tips, tips are voluntary by nature. All of the sudden I was thinking about all of the dinners and movie tickets I had purchased, how typically multiple hour rates were cheaper than a simple multiplier of the hourly rate. I thought to myself, If this wasn't tipping, what was ?
I attempted to save the moment by responding;
"I think your rate is fair..." and trailed off realizing there was no good way to end that sentence.
We spoke a few more times after that but things dwindled off pretty quickly. My problem was that I felt she was taking advantage of the situation and leveraging our personal connection to get more than she would have from another customer she didn't know. Unfortunately once that line is crossed there is no way to un-cross it.
I guess what I'm taking away from this thread is not only the solidification of the idea that this happens on both sides of the relationship but that it can happen without the person who is taking advantage intending to do so or realizing the extent to which they are doing so.
Good thread everyone.
T2
"And by that, I'm only referring to the ones that do this, not SPs or MPs who just do their job and inadvertaently have guys who've fallen for them."
This is why I reacted to your comment about growing up Joyful. Even the most mature person can be fooled by a liar. Clearly, there are lots of situations in which people unintentionally mislead. We are talking about those who blatently and intentionally deceive. It would seem that you and Alexa don't fall into this category.
On a related issue, in my previous years I was very guilty of being the so called 'nice guy'. I would frequently find myself in a situation where women were taking advantage of me. For a while I became quite resentful, until I learned I was getting what I deserved because through my lack of self-confidence, I was failing to set limits for myself and the women in my life.
You ladies have been in this industry for a long time, I find it very difficult to believe that you are still struggling to set limits for your clients. In my case, in hindsight, I realize that I was failing to set limits because I wanted a girlfriend and was fearful that if I told her the truth she would get angry and leave. It took a while to learn that if she's the girl that leaves, than she is a bad person to have in my life. In your case, are these men really taking advantage of you, or do you fear the repercussions of telling them the truth - lost revenue?
As I said, you two have been in this industry for a long time. You chose this life-style. You are therefore in absolute control. If men are taking advantage of you its because you have given them that control.
This is why I reacted to your comment about growing up Joyful. Even the most mature person can be fooled by a liar. Clearly, there are lots of situations in which people unintentionally mislead. We are talking about those who blatently and intentionally deceive. It would seem that you and Alexa don't fall into this category.
On a related issue, in my previous years I was very guilty of being the so called 'nice guy'. I would frequently find myself in a situation where women were taking advantage of me. For a while I became quite resentful, until I learned I was getting what I deserved because through my lack of self-confidence, I was failing to set limits for myself and the women in my life.
You ladies have been in this industry for a long time, I find it very difficult to believe that you are still struggling to set limits for your clients. In my case, in hindsight, I realize that I was failing to set limits because I wanted a girlfriend and was fearful that if I told her the truth she would get angry and leave. It took a while to learn that if she's the girl that leaves, than she is a bad person to have in my life. In your case, are these men really taking advantage of you, or do you fear the repercussions of telling them the truth - lost revenue?
As I said, you two have been in this industry for a long time. You chose this life-style. You are therefore in absolute control. If men are taking advantage of you its because you have given them that control.
I have known a dancer for 7-8 years. I had seen her intermitantly up until a few months ago and now see her approx. once a week at her club. We have gone out to dinner a couple of times, accompanied by a friend of hers and a friend of mine. Lots of fun. They came back to my place after and we all watched a movie. All very innocent. I really like her and am obviously very attracted to her. Our conversations have run the gambit from very personal to silliness. She has included me in her social networks ie. facebook where she shares alot of her life. Her dances for me have gotton extremely erotic. We have done some very naughty (not FS) things as well as DFK etc. I always pay her for her dances but have never really paid her more. Clearly this is a business/friend relationship. I have feelings for her but I will keep them in check ie. our relationship will continue as is unless SHE lets me know otherwise. The thing that really gets strange is the sex thing. A dancer does this for a living so sex to her is not really a big deal. We get confused. You have to be really strong. Girls.....do you think she is leading me on? or do you think I/we have a handle on this.
I think trying to maintain a friendship and client/service business relationship is a recipe for ruining both.
If you neighbor was a mechanic and you got along with him as a neighbor, had a few beers together watch the game occoasionly...etc. If you decide to start taking your car to him for regular service, if there is a problem with the client/service relationship, from either side, the friendship is going to suffer or stop all together. What if he thinks you're a picky customer and nothing is ever done to your satisfaction ? What if you call 40 times a day asking when the car will ready ? What if you say, hey Joe since you need two days to fix my car can I borrow yours to run an errand ? What if after a while you're not happy with his work ? What if you feel like he always works on your car as a low priority because he knows you ? What if he uses your car to run an errand while it's in his care because he know you won't mind ?
Some of those things are pretty tough for a friendship to recover from. With someone you're attracted to there are even more power dynamics. It's best to avoid crossing this boundary unless you're both absolutely sure that's what you want to do. I would even say discuss it before hand. If discussing it before is too uncomfortable then there is no chance you'll survive an emotionally charged bump in road.
At least in my experience...
T2
If you neighbor was a mechanic and you got along with him as a neighbor, had a few beers together watch the game occoasionly...etc. If you decide to start taking your car to him for regular service, if there is a problem with the client/service relationship, from either side, the friendship is going to suffer or stop all together. What if he thinks you're a picky customer and nothing is ever done to your satisfaction ? What if you call 40 times a day asking when the car will ready ? What if you say, hey Joe since you need two days to fix my car can I borrow yours to run an errand ? What if after a while you're not happy with his work ? What if you feel like he always works on your car as a low priority because he knows you ? What if he uses your car to run an errand while it's in his care because he know you won't mind ?
Some of those things are pretty tough for a friendship to recover from. With someone you're attracted to there are even more power dynamics. It's best to avoid crossing this boundary unless you're both absolutely sure that's what you want to do. I would even say discuss it before hand. If discussing it before is too uncomfortable then there is no chance you'll survive an emotionally charged bump in road.
At least in my experience...
T2
What if you used his car for a few romps with a few of your favorite SPs in the back seat and you didnt clean it up and left the seats a lil sticky!!!
What if you sneezed all over the inside of the windshield and left it a lil snotty....
What if you ate an extra large anchovie pizza and stunk the damned car up....
What if this one time at bad camp......you used his car to go to band camp !!
Who cares about your mechanics friggggen car!!!
What if you sneezed all over the inside of the windshield and left it a lil snotty....
What if you ate an extra large anchovie pizza and stunk the damned car up....
What if this one time at bad camp......you used his car to go to band camp !!
Who cares about your mechanics friggggen car!!!
JP, too bad you didn't get Twizzler's post -- I thought it was right on. It doesn't matter if someone's a mechanic or a dentist or a lawyer or a sex worker -- it can be quite uncomfortable when people take advantage of friendship to get free service.
..c..
..c..
At what point is it considered taking advantage of time. One meets with the escort, most likely having agreed on the amount of time already, they proceed to her play area. She sets a timer or music or just a clock on the wall and then they get on with the encounter. Everything moves along nicely , she finishes, he finishes and they lay together and cuddle after the encounter. The timer goes off, the music stops or what ever method is used for timing, does that mean get up get out, or is a little apres cuddling considered taking advantage. Who should make the first move, or is it just understood the time is up so move on? If you are just laying there holding each other and talking, is he then taking advantage of your time, even if there are no sexual advances made by him.
Just a few thoughts for the ladies.
Just a few thoughts for the ladies.
