Dating an sp

[afterhours]

Coming from both sides... I find that the majority of my massage clients were just easier to like (and don't get me started on the excitement of the natural and incredible sexual tension) versus my PSE clients who approached me asking for all the acronyms in the industry before ever introducing themselves. I still have fond memories of those guys who CHOSE to see me for massage with hard limits... we definitely enjoyed ourselves in other ways, which I think allows you to have a more genuine connection. Sort of like those high school kids who are too scared to lose their virginity because they might get pregnant... so they end up dryhumping the crap out of each other and thinking of other ways to be sensual. Except of course we MPAs are a little more advanced with our grown up techniques
I should also mention... the good SP's offer a true GFE where their focus is on the same genuine and sensual connection that MPA's might seem to offer more.... except we SPs are not limited to having a client laid out on a table in a massage room with other people next door and lined up in the lobby.

So kids were not fucking because they were afraid to get pregnant..ok I get that. But why would an adult man who is afraid to fuck (for whatever reason) be attractive? Shouldn't we despise cowards?

PS - I admit that I don't understand and probably never will understand MP attraction. Seems like fake meat for vegetarians, imitation of real food at best.

 

[afterhours]

Put me on all 3 of yours! :biggrin1:

Are you still talking about lists or are we talking orifices now?

 

[lazysausage]

Are you still talking about lists or are we talking orifices now?

Perhaps both.

 

[demien2k5]

I am surprised that so many in this thread are so willing to speak in 'absolute' terms. Finding true love and happiness for many, if not most, no matter what their chosen lifestyle, career or hobbies may be, can be a very rare and difficult thing to find. I've always believed the adage 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. If two consenting adults are open and honest with each other (and challenge themselves to remain so for the duration of their interactions together) why shouldn't mutual attraction merit at least the consideration of evolving the positive nature of the relationship? You connect with the person, not the job. In the case of dating an SP, it's pretty much guaranteed there will be difficult hurdles to overcome, but so what, there are hurdles in every relationship. If the person and the relationship are important enough to both parties, they will find a way to make it work. Why give up before even trying. Even in my own marriage we have faced many difficult challenges related to career, health issues, and money. Yet still very happily married after 33 years. Looking at what I have now, I'm damn happy I didn't throw in the towel before even really trying.

I have met many many incredibly wonderful women working as SPs over the years, and many times wondered how incredible life would be to be their life partner, and watched as they indeed found their soul mates and left the industry. Some chose to keep working, and still found a way to make it work with the person they loved. Was never surprised to find see them find and follow their dreams, with someone who obviously knew and appreciated them for who and what they were, not simply for what they could 'do'.

I say, if she's willing to at least try, go for it. You never know what can happen if you try. Or what you might lose if you don't.

 

[brazilianguy]

I am surprised that so many in this thread are so willing to speak in 'absolute' terms. Finding true love and happiness for many, if not most, no matter what their chosen lifestyle, career or hobbies may be, can be a very rare and difficult thing to find. I've always believed the adage 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. If two consenting adults are open and honest with each other (and challenge themselves to remain so for the duration of their interactions together) why shouldn't mutual attraction merit at least the consideration of evolving the positive nature of the relationship? You connect with the person, not the job. In the case of dating an SP, it's pretty much guaranteed there will be difficult hurdles to overcome, but so what, there are hurdles in every relationship. If the person and the relationship are important enough to both parties, they will find a way to make it work. Why give up before even trying. Even in my own marriage we have faced many difficult challenges related to career, health issues, and money. Yet still very happily married after 33 years. Looking at what I have now, I'm damn happy I didn't throw in the towel before even really trying.

I have met many many incredibly wonderful women working as SPs over the years, and many times wondered how incredible life would be to be their life partner, and watched as they indeed found their soul mates and left the industry. Some chose to keep working, and still found a way to make it work with the person they loved. Was never surprised to find see them find and follow their dreams, with someone who obviously knew and appreciated them for who and what they were, not simply for what they could 'do'.

I say, if she's willing to at least try, go for it. You never know what can happen if you try. Or what you might lose if you don't.

i think you're my new hero bro lol i completely agree

 

[nobody123]

I agree with you that it is much more convenient for us to assume that she just naturally likes sucking these old strangers' dicks and is not doing it for money, so there is no need to hint at or offer any help. I've been through that too.

Really? That's the takeaway here? Cause I thought I was just saying fuck what's convenient and assume nothing. Or, at most, assume that the (hypothetical) SP you are (hypothetically) dating and that you (hypothetically) trust, love, and know well enough to want to see happy as a (hypothetical) human being, might, hypothetically, as a human being with a brain and all that, be (hypothetically) capable of letting you know whether they find their choice of profession less than satisfying. Hypothetically speaking.

 

[Pum-Pum Stabba]

Don't fucking do it.....just saying!

 

[My Johnson]

Parts of this are great advice for any relationship !

I ran across this yesterday - great advice.

http://christianbvega.blogspot.ca/2013/04/how-to-date-sex-worker.html

 

[Ridgeman08]

While I have never "dated" an SP, (for longer than 1 night at least...), the prospect of doing so has been presented to me on several occasions...

My advice to you is don't do it. Unless she is committed to quitting the biz and you are committed to quitting the hobby. Here's why:

Recreational sex (ie "sport fucking") is different than emotional sex.

Recreational sex is what this "Hobby" is all about.

Emotional sex is what a relationship is all about. The two cannot coexist... because one will be the demise of the other. I know that is not going to be a popular opinion on this forum, but it is almost always the case.

Us guys "hobby" because there is something missing in our lives: gratifying sex! Those of us without SO's, are seeking female companionship with the guarantee of sex and are therefore in a different situation than those of you with SO's. Those of you with SO's and who are still in love with those SO's, aren't getting what they want, (be it a particular fetish, or maybe looking to scratch an itch of some kind...), so they turn to SP's. That is what I call recreational sex. Once the SO finds out about it, the relationship almost always inevitably ends... because the spouse is unable to separate the two types of sex. (Edit: This is equally true for guys as well as girls BTW).

SP's hobby because there is something missing in THEIR lives. The financial means to live the sort of lifestyle they want. That is not to say that some (many) also enjoy their jobs, because many of them do. Sex FEELS good! (If done right of course... as with all things there are exceptions to every rule...) I know many SP's say they do this for a living because they just enjoy sex so much, and while I'm not disputing that they DO in fact enjoy it, (I know first hand that many of them do...) they don't do it for THAT reason exclusively, because then they'd be doing it for free. LoL (Kudo's to them for having a fun job, they enjoy, that also pays them good money!)

Occasionally, there comes a time when recreational sex turns into emotional sex, and that is when the prospect of dating an SP occurs. However, unless the SP is willing to quit the business and rely on a different means of living their lives to the standard to which they are accustomed to, and the hobbyist is going to stop seeing other SP's, then this relationship is doomed. Its the nature of the beast. And cannot be avoided. (In spite of one's best intentions...)

Time and time again have I read and heard stories of SP's and clients trying to make a go of it, but unless they are both completely committed to the relationship and cut themselves off completely from other recreational sex partners, it won't last... It may survive for awhile because everyone is having fun, but eventually the inevitable will happen.

The only possible solution is to have recreational AND emotional sex with the same partner... exclusively.

Just sayin....

 

[d_jedi]

Most relationships end. In this day and age, it's the exception rather than the rule for two people to meet, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. More likely than not, somewhere along the way things will fall apart, for whatever reason. So I don't think this is a reason to not give it a shot with a SP - both parties willing. It may end up that you break up, and the reason for that breakup may be related to her line of work. The breakup may be very painful for a while - but as the saying goes, "tis better to have loved and lost" (which is not absolutely true, but more often than not, with time, it is..)

That said, I think 9 times out of 10, if a client develops feelings for an SP.. the feelings are not reciprocated. The paid time we spend together is the extent of our relationship. The emotional connection you make means she does her job well, providing you a true girlfriend experience.

Determining whether there actually is anything there is tricky business. It's generally taboo to ask a sex worker to see you "off the clock". And the girl may not suggest it either, fearing losing a client if the guy is in a situation where he does not want to move things outside a SP/client relationship.

I have never dated a sex worker. Along the way, I've met some girls who I would be willing to give it a try with, but I've never proceeded. I really wouldn't know how to ask. And that's probably all for the best.

 

[asian_sampler]

Don't fucking do it.....just saying!

clear your pm box

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

I love this thread. Every time one of our stunningly beautiful SP 's on this thread notes a male terb sentence that reveals a hint of typical social bias against their profession, guys are twisting themselves like pretzels as they try to re position their phrases to gain approval.

I can only imagine that motivations and circumstances of each SP is about as varied as the customers who utilize their services. I personally find the question of would you date a SP every bit as prejudicial and degrading as asking an SP if she/he would ever date a customer. Maybe it's me but the question almost sounds like ' Would you ever lower yourself to date ....'

A few years back, I was dating a dancer. I never mentioned this to our friends not because or any embarrassment but because of stupid social stigmas. In my mind the dancer was irrelevant, I was dating a warm beautiful individual and we had a great time. If you asked me if I would date an SP - I'd answer no - the same if you asked if I'd date a dancer. I wouldn't hesitate however to spend my time with a soul mate - having problems of the world fall away in her embrace, sharing the triumphs, pit falls and beauty of this world. That and nothing else is what is important to me.

you Sir are a Romantic. very nice.

 

[LadyTY2Uall]

I am surprised that so many in this thread are so willing to speak in 'absolute' terms. Finding true love and happiness for many, if not most, no matter what their chosen lifestyle, career or hobbies may be, can be a very rare and difficult thing to find. I've always believed the adage 'nothing ventured, nothing gained'. If two consenting adults are open and honest with each other (and challenge themselves to remain so for the duration of their interactions together) why shouldn't mutual attraction merit at least the consideration of evolving the positive nature of the relationship? You connect with the person, not the job. In the case of dating an SP, it's pretty much guaranteed there will be difficult hurdles to overcome, but so what, there are hurdles in every relationship. If the person and the relationship are important enough to both parties, they will find a way to make it work. Why give up before even trying. Even in my own marriage we have faced many difficult challenges related to career, health issues, and money. Yet still very happily married after 33 years. Looking at what I have now, I'm damn happy I didn't throw in the towel before even really trying.

I have met many many incredibly wonderful women working as SPs over the years, and many times wondered how incredible life would be to be their life partner, and watched as they indeed found their soul mates and left the industry. Some chose to keep working, and still found a way to make it work with the person they loved. Was never surprised to find see them find and follow their dreams, with someone who obviously knew and appreciated them for who and what they were, not simply for what they could 'do'.

I say, if she's willing to at least try, go for it. You never know what can happen if you try. Or what you might lose if you don't.

Very well said.

 

[unbiasedguy]

my friend got bbfs and the girls phone number after. hes a good looking young guy, any way he can play this into a fuckbuddy scenario? or does she just want to be set for life by having his kid because hes one of those trust fund kids

 

[bazokajoe]

my friend got bbfs and the girls phone number after. hes a good looking young guy, any way he can play this into a fuckbuddy scenario? or does she just want to be set for life by having his kid because hes one of those trust fund kids

Hmmmm,I would say she wants his kid for the trust fund $$$$.

 

[Pum-Pum Stabba]

clear your pm box

Done!

 

[Pum-Pum Stabba]

While I have never "dated" an SP, (for longer than 1 night at least...), the prospect of doing so has been presented to me on several occasions...

My advice to you is don't do it. Unless she is committed to quitting the biz and you are committed to quitting the hobby. Here's why:

Recreational sex (ie "sport fucking") is different than emotional sex.

Recreational sex is what this "Hobby" is all about.

Emotional sex is what a relationship is all about. The two cannot coexist... because one will be the demise of the other. I know that is not going to be a popular opinion on this forum, but it is almost always the case.

Us guys "hobby" because there is something missing in our lives: gratifying sex! Those of us without SO's, are seeking female companionship with the guarantee of sex and are therefore in a different situation than those of you with SO's. Those of you with SO's and who are still in love with those SO's, aren't getting what they want, (be it a particular fetish, or maybe looking to scratch an itch of some kind...), so they turn to SP's. That is what I call recreational sex. Once the SO finds out about it, the relationship almost always inevitably ends... because the spouse is unable to separate the two types of sex. (Edit: This is equally true for guys as well as girls BTW).

SP's hobby because there is something missing in THEIR lives. The financial means to live the sort of lifestyle they want. That is not to say that some (many) also enjoy their jobs, because many of them do. Sex FEELS good! (If done right of course... as with all things there are exceptions to every rule...) I know many SP's say they do this for a living because they just enjoy sex so much, and while I'm not disputing that they DO in fact enjoy it, (I know first hand that many of them do...) they don't do it for THAT reason exclusively, because then they'd be doing it for free. LoL (Kudo's to them for having a fun job, they enjoy, that also pays them good money!)

Occasionally, there comes a time when recreational sex turns into emotional sex, and that is when the prospect of dating an SP occurs. However, unless the SP is willing to quit the business and rely on a different means of living their lives to the standard to which they are accustomed to, and the hobbyist is going to stop seeing other SP's, then this relationship is doomed. Its the nature of the beast. And cannot be avoided. (In spite of one's best intentions...)

Time and time again have I read and heard stories of SP's and clients trying to make a go of it, but unless they are both completely committed to the relationship and cut themselves off completely from other recreational sex partners, it won't last... It may survive for awhile because everyone is having fun, but eventually the inevitable will happen.

The only possible solution is to have recreational AND emotional sex with the same partner... exclusively.

Just sayin....

Well said! I can relate because I was just in a situation where recreational sex with an SP became emotional sex. Neither, of us committed so it just ended up in heartache ( she kept working/ I kept hobbying to keep myself sane). The past 6-8 week have been a fucking emotional roller coaster ride for both of us. NEVER AGAIN! I forget that the reason why I pay is so I can leave. I brought this starving malnutrioned bitch a container of stones for lunch today. I wish I was there to see her face when she opened it after I had left. Plus, I spit in her soybean milk and gave it a good stir.

 

[needtono]

Well said! I can relate because I was just in a situation where recreational sex with an SP became emotional sex. Neither, of us committed so it just ended up in heartache ( she kept working/ I kept hobbying to keep myself sane). The past 6-8 week have been a fucking emotional roller coaster ride for both of us. NEVER AGAIN! I forget that the reason why I pay is so I can leave. I brought this starving malnutrioned bitch a container of stones for lunch today. I wish I was there to see her face when she opened it after I had left. Plus, I spit in her soybean milk and gave it a good stir.

Oh yeah... Very cool

 

[barrowing]

I think it all depends on how the relationship evolves. Many guys fall in "lust" with an sp. Several years ago one of Durham's favourite sps confided that she had "feelings" for me. I was totally shocked by this. I liked her and we had a blast when we met but I always figured I paid her to be nice & act like she was into me. It took me a while to determine if she was serious or just giving me a line. As it turned out she was very serious about having real feelings. She had a real job as well so leaving, which she wanted to do if we were going to connect, was financially feasible. So, there was a transition from sex feelings to emotional feelings for both of us. This was very humbling as I often said to her there are guys who are younger, richer, better looking, "bigger" etc; many of whom would have loved to have had her for themselves. Emotions & feelings are hard to understand. My "fantasy" was turning into my "reality".

Life isn't always fair I have found out. The lady in question, who was around 40 at the time, developed some very serious health issues shortly after we began to explore our lives from an emotional perspective. She was in and out of cancer treatments for a couple of years where I became her best friend and supporter. She is in virtual palliative care, living with a cousin out west. At one time when she was short on $ she talked about going back to being an sp. She asked me if I could handle her having sex with others and most likely enjoying it. I conjured up images of some of her previous reviews on this board and told her I would have a difficult time separating her having sex from true intimacy. It doesn't matter any more. But it gave me an interesting perspective on this industry. We both agreed that it really doesn't matter how you meet your true "soulmate" just that you do. I now think we both did.

Unfortunately, life ain't fair and maybe a fantasy just is not meant to become reality.

 

[lazysausage]

I'm thankful for all your contributions to this post, as well as keeping it still alive. All reviews have one thing in common, it didn't work out. Maybe the ones that did get married/had kids don't bother coming on here no more. lol