Not everybody in society is as open minded as you or I. Hence, many SP's don't use their real name or show face pics. Also, why many hobbyists don't use their real name.
Dating an sp
- Thread starter lazysausage
- Start date
And your point is not as "clear-cut" as you make it. If my partner, say a lawyer, is working herself towards a coronary, I will most certainly want to save her from that!
The thought of "saving someone from a whorish lifestyle" never entered into my thoughts. That's like saying you want your partner to leave the army so that they stop murdering people and causing war, violence and hell on earth. Neither of those sentiments is what I had in mind at all.
All I am saying is that when two people are in a relationship, their choice of career impacts the relationship and the other person in it. It is most certainly within my prerogative to tell my partner my thoughts and feelings about their chosen career, and the impact it has on me - whether that person be a saint or a perceived sinner in their career.
Being in a relationship also means supporting one another's decisions. Trust is a main factor in it as well. Whether she quits or not is not up to you, she makes that call. The status of the relationship whether its open or not is another topic of interest.
I think some people here need to learn about how relationships actually work. To be clear I am obviously not against dating an SP or SPs in general, but there are some things above that show you don't understand relationships.
I am not there to support my partners decisions all the time. If my partner comes to me and says she wants to take a $1-Million dollar loan out on our house to invest in swampland in Florida, I most certainly am NOT going to support that decision. I am in a relationship to be supportive, and have support given to me. BUT I am not there to sublimate my thoughts and needs to show blind and even foolish support for my partners decisions.
You are correct though in that if I was dating an SP she would make the call to quit. However, I could make the call to leave the relationship. And to be honest, if my leaving or threatening to leave somehow got her to quit, it doesn't mean that the relationship would remain stable. There is no way I would want her resenting me if she somehow felt pressure to quit. If she quit because I was leaving, that would only be the beginning of figuring out how the relationship would proceed.
I have met some SP's that I think I could date and could enjoy a relationship with. Some of them have posted on this thread.
But what would be a big problem for me, would be the fact that I am a bit of a worrier, and I don't know how well I would be able to deal with the fact that the person I cared about was in such a dangerous occupation. Or at least one that I perceive to be dangerous.
But what would be a big problem for me, would be the fact that I am a bit of a worrier, and I don't know how well I would be able to deal with the fact that the person I cared about was in such a dangerous occupation. Or at least one that I perceive to be dangerous.
reality check: don't expect your [mostly] married clients who live a lie day in and day out to easily accept that you, an SP, might be a better and bigger person than they are
You have misunderstood me entirely Jessica. My comments are strictly directed at this poster and his notions about relationships IN GENERAL. I was making a general comment about his view that one is there to support a partner's decisions - IN A GENERAL SENSE. That proposition is simply not true. I WAS IN NO WAY SAYING THAT BEING AN SP IS AN IRRATIONAL DECISION!!! But I do think that a partner in a relationship should not support an irrational decision. For example, I noticed you gave up smoking in a previous thread. If we were dating, should I just support your picking up the habit again, even if I don't smoke?offensive alert again!
first, you are comparing the decision to be an SP to the decision to buy overpriced swamp land . .... what's irrational about my decision to be an SP? why not compare my decision to a SOUND financial decision instead of an IRRATIONAL one?
second, you are suggesting that if you were to date an sp and she didn't quit, that you would leave the relationship... that's emotional blackmail. Why enter the relationship in the first place if that's how you feel?
and lastly ... someone who feels the way that you do should never consider a relationship with a sex worker. Ever. Period. Full stop.
As to your second point - you are bang-on. Why enter a relationship, any relationship, when something - anything - is off? Again, this is a general comment about relationships - not specifically being an SP. If you don't find anything wrong with dating an SP, then date an SP. If there is something wrong with it, don't date an SP. However as a GENEARL COMMENTI have been around the block enough to know that some things do not change in relationships. Look at dating sites - they list weight, height, age, location, smoking, drinking, occupation, number of children, wants children, religion etc... all of which are common variables on which one chooses a mate. So yes, if you don't like something about someone don't enter into the relationship.
However, if I did enter a relationship with someone who I want to change, and they don't, then it is entirely an option to leave. In fact it is emotional blackmail to me if you say something like "How could you leave me because I still do xxxxxxxxxxx?" I would say "I have outlined my reasons before. At some point I have to look after myself." That xxxxxxx could be anything from being an SP, through to picking their nose, through to excessive drinking, through to wearing polka-dots, through to drug use, through to playing Disco music too loud, etc...
I have nothing but respect for SP's, the profession and the work. The profession, like many others, does impact the dynamics of a relationship and it would be foolish to think that it doesn't.
Thanks! I knew I didn't deserve the creepo alertI think we agree on some things and disagree on others... and I obviously misunderstood some of your post... my apologies. There is only one line here that I don't understand and that's this one....
"However, if I did enter a relationship with someone who I want to change, and they don't, then it is entirely an option to leave."
this is where we differ. I would never enter a relationship with someone I want to change, as I don't want to change anyone, except for possibly myself... ie there's always room for improvement
But we are in complete agreement though. I TOO, NOW, would never enter into a relationship with someone I want to change. But I learned that the hard way, and I'm sure many other people have as well.
We also need to keep in mind that not everyone's habits/behaviours are known at the start of a relationship (though being an SP certainly would be). Also, sometimes small habits have a way of multiplying either in intensity, or in perceived annoyance such that there are times where we enter into a relationship and eventually find that we want someone to change.
As I was commenting on relationships in general, it is important to keep in mind that we could enter with expectations of change, or we could find-out into a relationship that change is required from the other person in order to continue.
Ah but she's your regular and what you describe is actually normal in that situation.
I haven't checked lately but I would hazard to guess that most ladies charge under $1,000 for a four hour dinner date where two hours is dinner time, and not from room service!
If an SP was my GF or SO, I would encourage her to have a part-time career in another field other than this industry as a cover. Most SPs I know are intelligent enough to have alternative careers, but there's an opportunity cost to do something else. A loving & supportive relationship may be enough of an incentive to find alternative part-time work if she isn't doing so already.
offensive alert
your post borders on offensive for the following reasons...
first, we are not all in this biz for the money, although its a big bonus, it's certainly not the case that we all just need money so we can "get out of this business"
second, if you enter a relationship with an SP, it is not a test of your decency whether or not you talk her out of the biz
third, you don't need to 'let her' continue working. It's not up to you, and she doesn't require your permission.
I agree with you here, although one industry gal told me that if she was dating a guy who couldn't try to get her out of this industry or support her if they were in an exclusive relationship, she wouldn't think that he loved her enough.
I love this thread. Every time one of our stunningly beautiful SP 's on this thread notes a male terb sentence that reveals a hint of typical social bias against their profession, guys are twisting themselves like pretzels as they try to re position their phrases to gain approval.offensive alert again!
I can only imagine that motivations and circumstances of each SP is about as varied as the customers who utilize their services. I personally find the question of would you date a SP every bit as prejudicial and degrading as asking an SP if she/he would ever date a customer. Maybe it's me but the question almost sounds like ' Would you ever lower yourself to date ....'
A few years back, I was dating a dancer. I never mentioned this to our friends not because or any embarrassment but because of stupid social stigmas. In my mind the dancer was irrelevant, I was dating a warm beautiful individual and we had a great time. If you asked me if I would date an SP - I'd answer no - the same if you asked if I'd date a dancer. I wouldn't hesitate however to spend my time with a soul mate - having problems of the world fall away in her embrace, sharing the triumphs, pit falls and beauty of this world. That and nothing else is what is important to me.
Ha! I was also going to post this. I thought it was a well-written & insightful post.
It's an emotionally charged topic, discussed on an impersonal and anonymous medium. Clarifications are a sign of patience and maturity.
Though there is some overlap between the two MPAs and SPs pretty
much belong to two different worlds. Popular MPAs don't necessarily have
to provide high mileage services to keep the clients come back. SP type
services in established MPs are more of exceptions than the norm. Both
provide services of a sexual nature but the level of physical intimacy in a
typical MP session is nothing compared with a PSE escort session. I am of
the view that rapport built between a MPA and her client is likely to be
more genuine. I hope the SP ladies don't find this offensive.
much belong to two different worlds. Popular MPAs don't necessarily have
to provide high mileage services to keep the clients come back. SP type
services in established MPs are more of exceptions than the norm. Both
provide services of a sexual nature but the level of physical intimacy in a
typical MP session is nothing compared with a PSE escort session. I am of
the view that rapport built between a MPA and her client is likely to be
more genuine. I hope the SP ladies don't find this offensive.
What makes you think he ever wanted to ? You can put me on that list as well .
I'll put you on mine .
