Kiarra, I have certain reasons why this industry is not a great choice for a life long career. Unlike other careers, this is short lived cuz come 40 yrs old, it's gotta be downhill from there. You just can't compete with the 21 yr olds anymore, so the pickings are slim. Secondly, it's a risky biz especially if you do incalls, which are illegal. Thirdly, most just live the hi life instead of socking the $$$ away for later or investing. Fourth, it's hard to get away from making that kinda money after so many years & adjust your lifestyle. Fifth, is at sometime she wants to settle down & have a family, it's difficult to be open & honest about your past with someone you get serious about. Most men wouldn't take an escort home to meet the folks, and what about kids? Unfortunately, there is still some stigma society attaches to the adult/sex industry, and she wouldn't want her kids to suffer cuz of her past. So, as you see there are a lot of reasons why it's not a great career choice.
Career Aspirations for SPs
- Thread starter Big Daddy
- Start date
Sure some sex workers take drugs but...
I have met only 3 sex workers who were drug addicts.
But you know what is really scary, I have met many more doctors and lawyers who have drug and alcohol problems.
Ask anyone who works at a law firm or some who works in a hospital.
A sex worker who takes drugs is one thing...... but just imagine your doctor or lawyer, profesionals who your life may depend on. Now thats scary!!!!
Someone I know personally and an excellent role model and example of a sex worker
(www.veronicamonet.com)
I have met only 3 sex workers who were drug addicts.
But you know what is really scary, I have met many more doctors and lawyers who have drug and alcohol problems.
Ask anyone who works at a law firm or some who works in a hospital.
A sex worker who takes drugs is one thing...... but just imagine your doctor or lawyer, profesionals who your life may depend on. Now thats scary!!!!
Someone I know personally and an excellent role model and example of a sex worker
(www.veronicamonet.com)
I had a friend in high school whom I had alot of respect for. He was a ver intelligent and wise dude. His aspirations was to become a writer. No, he did not go onto university like the rest of the graduating class, but I still have that admiration for him till this day. BTW, he's in Australia right now as "struggling writer", but so what?!?! My respect for him has not died out ...
As for education, well, going to school does not make one "educated". My dad and many of his friends barely finished high school, yet are as wise as hell. On the other hand, many of my friends have gone, but are not as wise. Yeah, you can say that my dad's friends has learned from life experiences while my friends have not, but what I am trying to get at is, going to school does not make you "educated". For one thing, if you look back into history, many "educated" people never went to school. Some were self-taught or had a private tutor. I think the best example of an uneducated educated man is Socrates. Plato and Aristotle were educated men but yet, their hero was an ugly bumb who barely made a living ...
I do not mean to be biased because of my attraction to Buddhism, but when I went to Asia I spend some time with a few monks and they never went to school. But I considered them educated. Same with some Church ministers. They ain't got no degree, but they are educated ...
As for going to school for a job ... well, what does the word "school" come from? It comes from the Greek word "skhole" which bascially means to "do nothing". Of course back then, school was only for the aristocrats and the clergy/Church ministers but now, in modern times, school is accessible by allm at least the high school level. Now in Canada, we all have free edecation till high school. If a person decided to "abandon" this free opportunity offered by the government, its their choice. Yet, I am not saying that all high school drop outs are "bad people", its just they find out that school is not for them. Some people like school, while others like to learn a skill instead. One different between university and college is that one is based on reading and the other based on practical skills. In almost all cultures, we always value those who use the mind over the body. But yet, as coop programs and collaborative univerity/college programs have shown, a "succeessful" person needs both. As a Chinese Ne-Confucian scholar once said, "knowledge is action" ...
I think there is a difference between being intelligent, educated and wise. As for me, I prefer to be wise over all else. Education, as many have prove can mean a different thing for different people. But I think I have already presented my position what education meansn to me ...
As for education, well, going to school does not make one "educated". My dad and many of his friends barely finished high school, yet are as wise as hell. On the other hand, many of my friends have gone, but are not as wise. Yeah, you can say that my dad's friends has learned from life experiences while my friends have not, but what I am trying to get at is, going to school does not make you "educated". For one thing, if you look back into history, many "educated" people never went to school. Some were self-taught or had a private tutor. I think the best example of an uneducated educated man is Socrates. Plato and Aristotle were educated men but yet, their hero was an ugly bumb who barely made a living ...
I do not mean to be biased because of my attraction to Buddhism, but when I went to Asia I spend some time with a few monks and they never went to school. But I considered them educated. Same with some Church ministers. They ain't got no degree, but they are educated ...
As for going to school for a job ... well, what does the word "school" come from? It comes from the Greek word "skhole" which bascially means to "do nothing". Of course back then, school was only for the aristocrats and the clergy/Church ministers but now, in modern times, school is accessible by allm at least the high school level. Now in Canada, we all have free edecation till high school. If a person decided to "abandon" this free opportunity offered by the government, its their choice. Yet, I am not saying that all high school drop outs are "bad people", its just they find out that school is not for them. Some people like school, while others like to learn a skill instead. One different between university and college is that one is based on reading and the other based on practical skills. In almost all cultures, we always value those who use the mind over the body. But yet, as coop programs and collaborative univerity/college programs have shown, a "succeessful" person needs both. As a Chinese Ne-Confucian scholar once said, "knowledge is action" ...
I think there is a difference between being intelligent, educated and wise. As for me, I prefer to be wise over all else. Education, as many have prove can mean a different thing for different people. But I think I have already presented my position what education meansn to me ...
...hey, what about...
badkat...she's got a lot going for her...just won a major competition...back studying at university...working parttime to make some bucks...
selina...working on some important artistic ventures with some high level people...
there are usually exceptions to the rule...
badkat...she's got a lot going for her...just won a major competition...back studying at university...working parttime to make some bucks...
selina...working on some important artistic ventures with some high level people...
there are usually exceptions to the rule...
Why I do this?
I do it for the money
PERIOD
If a client is nice, genuine, a real gentleman...
..that makes it even better
I do it for the money
PERIOD
If a client is nice, genuine, a real gentleman...
..that makes it even better
Where there is demand, there will be supply
You know guys, is it really sad that an SP can't get out of the biz? Most of the SPs we see are in the biz by choice. Most of these SPs like (in order):
a) the money
b) the sex
c) the great guys (& gals) they get to meet
An SP can work just a few hours per week and make tens of thousands per year. I can't think of any other job that gets you that kind of income.
But, back to my main point - is it sad that ladies stay in the biz for a long time, or is it sadder still that we hobbyists just can't stop hobbying? When it comes to sex and women, men are fools - and I probably rank as one of the biggest.
You know guys, is it really sad that an SP can't get out of the biz? Most of the SPs we see are in the biz by choice. Most of these SPs like (in order):
a) the money
b) the sex
c) the great guys (& gals) they get to meet
An SP can work just a few hours per week and make tens of thousands per year. I can't think of any other job that gets you that kind of income.
But, back to my main point - is it sad that ladies stay in the biz for a long time, or is it sadder still that we hobbyists just can't stop hobbying? When it comes to sex and women, men are fools - and I probably rank as one of the biggest.
my two cents
--> The thing about sex workers being drug addicts is overblown. Sure some are messed up this way, but not most.
--> The thing about not being able to leave the money behind is dead on. Everyone knows a few who always claim to want to leave the business but say they "need money" even though they have seen much more of it than most people.
--> The thing about a stigma is dead on. If there weren't a stigma associated with it, it wouldn't be such a high paying job. The pay is good to compensate for the stigma. Some day we'll all get over our hang ups and we'll legalize it and accept it and it'll be a $20/hr job.
--> The thing about education is overblown. Sure a degree is useful. But you know what else is useful? An extra four to eight years working experience. In my industry there is absolutely no substitute for experience and lots of it. Obviously you won't be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer without a degree but that's somewhat artificial and in 90% of jobs experience is worth more than a degree. If you get a non-professional degree hopefully it was for the life experience and not just to improve your career.
--> The best bit of this thread is watching everyone take it all so personally and slam Asian Lover because he generalized a few things. Almost every post here contains the same kind of generalizations only because they go the other way ("SPs are all so smart and educated") nobody is slamming them--you only get slammed here for generalizing if you say something not great about sex workers. Let the generalizations ride and deal with the meat: he was wrong about the drug thing but right about some other stuff.
--> The thing about sex workers being drug addicts is overblown. Sure some are messed up this way, but not most.
--> The thing about not being able to leave the money behind is dead on. Everyone knows a few who always claim to want to leave the business but say they "need money" even though they have seen much more of it than most people.
--> The thing about a stigma is dead on. If there weren't a stigma associated with it, it wouldn't be such a high paying job. The pay is good to compensate for the stigma. Some day we'll all get over our hang ups and we'll legalize it and accept it and it'll be a $20/hr job.
--> The thing about education is overblown. Sure a degree is useful. But you know what else is useful? An extra four to eight years working experience. In my industry there is absolutely no substitute for experience and lots of it. Obviously you won't be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer without a degree but that's somewhat artificial and in 90% of jobs experience is worth more than a degree. If you get a non-professional degree hopefully it was for the life experience and not just to improve your career.
--> The best bit of this thread is watching everyone take it all so personally and slam Asian Lover because he generalized a few things. Almost every post here contains the same kind of generalizations only because they go the other way ("SPs are all so smart and educated") nobody is slamming them--you only get slammed here for generalizing if you say something not great about sex workers. Let the generalizations ride and deal with the meat: he was wrong about the drug thing but right about some other stuff.
penguin: $20/hr is roughly $40k/yr which is an above average wage for a job that doesn't require prior experience or a degree. but that would be the wage only if it were a totally acceptable career choice that nobody had any problem with, was regulated, legal, and as a result safe.
it's costly today because the ladies have to take a big risk getting into this career--a risk that they endure because our societ is still to intolerant and conservative to accept what they do--which also means we fail to protect them from disease and assault as we should, and so the job becomes a little dangerous as well as looked down on.
maybe we'll never be able to take that stigma away--i have no idea, but in some imaginary world where we could it's just another job and would get paid as such.
it's costly today because the ladies have to take a big risk getting into this career--a risk that they endure because our societ is still to intolerant and conservative to accept what they do--which also means we fail to protect them from disease and assault as we should, and so the job becomes a little dangerous as well as looked down on.
maybe we'll never be able to take that stigma away--i have no idea, but in some imaginary world where we could it's just another job and would get paid as such.
Well I understand your viewpoint, but I still think it's worth more than 20/hr.........stigma aside! For example; most jobs (other than factory work, ie. wrists!) don't affect the person directly. And most people in factory work do so until they're 65? (if they live that long......lol!) PERIOD.
I scanned the posts earlier about those employed in this line of work generally being drug addicts. I don't know if the term "naive" comes into play here. I know of a couple lawyers and bankers who are drug abusers...does that make all of them abusers? No. I think making that assessment from such a small number, and extapolating that to the point of making a general statement tells me that you probably either failed stats, or you are easily confused.
Well, I really don't think going to university can ever be a bad thing. To dwell on the point of Larry Ellison or Bill Gates bucking the trend is not a very valid argument to drop out of university, or not go all together. They are basically one in a million - you probably have a better chance winning the lottery than creating your very own software empire.
The very least to me, is if you go to university, that's great. If you don't go, that's fine too. I don't judge people on the basis of having letters behind their names - I judge them by who they are, period.
As for SPs and career ambitions...well, personally - I think we could learn a lot from them. They in essence, run a franchise. They have an adverstising budget, and they have to factor in business expenses. Frankly, if I was to be hiring for my business, I would be hiring an SP, degree(s) or not - they have probably more hunger and knowledge than that fresh-faced kid out of MBA school looking for a nice office to brag to his friends about and a nice Christmas bonus.
Just my 2 cents.
Well, I really don't think going to university can ever be a bad thing. To dwell on the point of Larry Ellison or Bill Gates bucking the trend is not a very valid argument to drop out of university, or not go all together. They are basically one in a million - you probably have a better chance winning the lottery than creating your very own software empire.
The very least to me, is if you go to university, that's great. If you don't go, that's fine too. I don't judge people on the basis of having letters behind their names - I judge them by who they are, period.
As for SPs and career ambitions...well, personally - I think we could learn a lot from them. They in essence, run a franchise. They have an adverstising budget, and they have to factor in business expenses. Frankly, if I was to be hiring for my business, I would be hiring an SP, degree(s) or not - they have probably more hunger and knowledge than that fresh-faced kid out of MBA school looking for a nice office to brag to his friends about and a nice Christmas bonus.
Just my 2 cents.
I'm not sure about the danger pay. For a BBBJ or any other BB maybe. Certainly there's a perception that SPs are at risk but I think the safe/responsible type of SP is at no more risk of catching a disease from a client than a hairdresser or a nurse. SPs tend to understand and practice safe sex--at least the sane ones do. I agree there ought to be some Darwin pay for those who provide BB services.
Sex sure does sell, and it always will. But that alone doesn't justify the price. It justifies perhaps $20/hr for unskilled work versus say the more typical $10/hr but it doesn't justify $200/hr. To get to that number requires an SP to take on significant additional risks.
As for Asian Lovers generalizations--no they weren't right, but neither were they necessarily mean nor did they cause you to misunderstand the substance of what he was trying to say--I'm just saying people attacked his style rather than his ideas. I think there are lots of SPs who are in school or who are educated and I think only a few are messed up. On the other hand it's true that most SPs will never, ever be able to find another career that pays as well, and many have trouble to leave the industry as a result even though they seem to want to.
I just think terb is a little biased--if you come out on one side of this issue you will get picked apart for technicalities and if you come out on the other side you will get praised for saying really dumb and over general things.
Sex sure does sell, and it always will. But that alone doesn't justify the price. It justifies perhaps $20/hr for unskilled work versus say the more typical $10/hr but it doesn't justify $200/hr. To get to that number requires an SP to take on significant additional risks.
As for Asian Lovers generalizations--no they weren't right, but neither were they necessarily mean nor did they cause you to misunderstand the substance of what he was trying to say--I'm just saying people attacked his style rather than his ideas. I think there are lots of SPs who are in school or who are educated and I think only a few are messed up. On the other hand it's true that most SPs will never, ever be able to find another career that pays as well, and many have trouble to leave the industry as a result even though they seem to want to.
I just think terb is a little biased--if you come out on one side of this issue you will get picked apart for technicalities and if you come out on the other side you will get praised for saying really dumb and over general things.
Oh Really Sparkie .......
My late teens, twenties and the majority of my thirties were spent as a single parent raising two children. I therefore entered the Escort/SP business late in life and believe you me, my pickings are far from being slim and I definitely do not feel the need or desire to compete with 21 year olds. In fact, I offer something no 21 year can ever hope to compete with, ie: maturity!
It seems that lately generalizations regarding an SP's aspirations, reasons for working in the business, intelligence etc. have become fairly rampant here on Terb. Why not just enjoy us?
Ciao
Astra
Sparkie:sparkie said:
My late teens, twenties and the majority of my thirties were spent as a single parent raising two children. I therefore entered the Escort/SP business late in life and believe you me, my pickings are far from being slim and I definitely do not feel the need or desire to compete with 21 year olds. In fact, I offer something no 21 year can ever hope to compete with, ie: maturity!
It seems that lately generalizations regarding an SP's aspirations, reasons for working in the business, intelligence etc. have become fairly rampant here on Terb. Why not just enjoy us?
Ciao
Astra
Re: Oh Really Sparkie .......
You have to admit that career longevity in this profession is shorter than most so you either have to sock a lot of money away or develop a second skill for whenever the fateful retirement day comes .
'cause we're just sentimental slobs who worry about you when you're old and grey ?Astra said:
You have to admit that career longevity in this profession is shorter than most so you either have to sock a lot of money away or develop a second skill for whenever the fateful retirement day comes .
Re: Oh Really Sparkie .......
I'm in my late fifties, and I have a tough time relating to ladies who are younger than my own daughter (mid-twenties). I usually book for two hours and, let's face it, I can't f**k for two hours straight. Hell, I couldn't even do that without a break when I was 25! The young ones may be very attractive physically, but they usually can't cut it as companions the way the more mature ladies can.
Besides, the sex with the older ladies is nearly always better, too!
You're absolutely right, Astra. That's why I hardly ever agree to see an escort under 30. My two favourite ladies in Toronto, Astrid and Annalee, are both 40 and wonderful company during the intermissions as well as the active periods. They both didn't start escorting until they were in their late thirties. Likewise, my favourite ladies in Montreal are between 38 and 49.Astra said:
I'm in my late fifties, and I have a tough time relating to ladies who are younger than my own daughter (mid-twenties). I usually book for two hours and, let's face it, I can't f**k for two hours straight. Hell, I couldn't even do that without a break when I was 25! The young ones may be very attractive physically, but they usually can't cut it as companions the way the more mature ladies can.
Besides, the sex with the older ladies is nearly always better, too!
Kathleen, do you mind if I ask you a question? When you do decide to quit and become a fitness trainer or nutritionist do you think you will have any problem with accepting much less pay than you get now?
I'm not questioning that you have savings, you sure do. But wouldn't you feel that a job like you describe would be a waste of your time, hours and dollars wise? If not why not? Nothing's gonna compete with the tax free fast money you're making now so you may feel that other work, especially the kind of long hours and hard work it would take to establish a new fitness/nutrition practice, and for so much less money, simply isn't rewarding for you versus your current expectations.
I ask because I know a woman who has been an SP for quite some time. She's the nicest person you could ever meet, she has a professional degree and a lot of experience and she's not messed up at all in any drug or emotional sense. She always says she's about to quit, she's been saying that for the whole time she's beein an SP--it's always been just six months away, and for years now. But she's been an SP so long now that her degree is dated, her skills rusty, and the number of years since her last job so long that it'll be tough to explain the gap to any employer. At every moment there is this or that thing which she says she "needs money for", so she says she's going to work just a few more months to get what she "needs".
I've come to realize that she is _never_ going to quit, not so long as the SP work continues to pay her well. No matter how much money she has she is always going to have something in mind that makes her think she "needs more". Originally she had debts to pay off, but those have long been paid, and she has reasonable savings now. Her personal life has suffered enormously as her line of work has stopped her from having many rewarding relationships, and terminated a few friendships along the way. It's put some serious strain on her relationship with the rest of her family (who have discovered or at least suspect what she does), and she's always fearful that her son is going to find out what she does (somehow he appears not to know yet, despite mom getting calls at all hours of the day and night from strange men who she goes out to meet). It's only a matter of time before that ticking bomb explodes, which may be one reason why she is always talking about quitting.
But I don't think she ever will quit. And though she's not messed up with drugs or emotionally unbalanced or anything like that, I do think it has harmed her life quite a bit in the relationship/family sphere.
So everyone is different and I'm sure your story is nothing like hers, and will turn out differently. But how do you see yourself avoiding a fate like that?
I'm not questioning that you have savings, you sure do. But wouldn't you feel that a job like you describe would be a waste of your time, hours and dollars wise? If not why not? Nothing's gonna compete with the tax free fast money you're making now so you may feel that other work, especially the kind of long hours and hard work it would take to establish a new fitness/nutrition practice, and for so much less money, simply isn't rewarding for you versus your current expectations.
I ask because I know a woman who has been an SP for quite some time. She's the nicest person you could ever meet, she has a professional degree and a lot of experience and she's not messed up at all in any drug or emotional sense. She always says she's about to quit, she's been saying that for the whole time she's beein an SP--it's always been just six months away, and for years now. But she's been an SP so long now that her degree is dated, her skills rusty, and the number of years since her last job so long that it'll be tough to explain the gap to any employer. At every moment there is this or that thing which she says she "needs money for", so she says she's going to work just a few more months to get what she "needs".
I've come to realize that she is _never_ going to quit, not so long as the SP work continues to pay her well. No matter how much money she has she is always going to have something in mind that makes her think she "needs more". Originally she had debts to pay off, but those have long been paid, and she has reasonable savings now. Her personal life has suffered enormously as her line of work has stopped her from having many rewarding relationships, and terminated a few friendships along the way. It's put some serious strain on her relationship with the rest of her family (who have discovered or at least suspect what she does), and she's always fearful that her son is going to find out what she does (somehow he appears not to know yet, despite mom getting calls at all hours of the day and night from strange men who she goes out to meet). It's only a matter of time before that ticking bomb explodes, which may be one reason why she is always talking about quitting.
But I don't think she ever will quit. And though she's not messed up with drugs or emotionally unbalanced or anything like that, I do think it has harmed her life quite a bit in the relationship/family sphere.
So everyone is different and I'm sure your story is nothing like hers, and will turn out differently. But how do you see yourself avoiding a fate like that?
