Its not drama, its discretion. I would not want an SP to hug me in a bar or a grocery store, any more than I would approach her. There is no industry. Get it? A life could be ruined by a casual encounter like that, if someone sees it and a good or realistic answer isn't available. On either side. Not to mention one or the other person may be trying to put the past behind them and don't need the reminder of what their life was like before. That includes a quiet hello in the hallway. Just stay away. To boot, do you really want to be chatting with EX-GFE, giving out "hollas" to her hooches? Generation gaps exist for a reason.
can't stand this kind of hobbyist...
- Thread starter ExGFE
- Start date
Attitude? He was basically trying to get in my pants when I was totally giving him the no go.Tugg Speedman said:It's all about attitude. I bumped into a former sp in a bar and she was excited to see me and we hugged. What's with all the drama? Sheeeesh.
And of course I saw myslef as a prostitue, I would be delusional to deny it becuase I would only be lying to myself. My sanity and positivity is I saved my money, got out when I wanted to, made a life for myself, and best of all never looked back. Until now though, stupid me, what to expect coming onto a site dominated by only one side of the hobby. Including all the ladies that don't want to post because of losing business, which I understand. Oh well forget it I am sorry for the drama.
In reading this, my only comment would be that it's a good thing for both you and us that you got out of the business.ExGFE said:
But that's the point - he DID come up and start a conversation. And her friend was nearby. And let's not act like it's the first time this has happened. I've read it here and heard stories from SPs all the time.slowandeasy said:
Re-read what I wrote - eye contact? ok. smile/hi? ok. Anything more with the express consent? Not ok.
I just thought the OP was being a bit silly. Overly dramatic for effect. Was her message too raw? I guess. But no more so than a lot of the stuff on here directed towards escorts, women, minorities, other punters, etc.
The real issue was the asshole coming up and starting a conversation uninvited when his only contact had been through the hobby. All the other stuff ExGFE wrote was just dumb white noise.
And that's how it's supposed to be handled. Not "Hi baby, how's it going? I miss you! Blah, blah, blah..." That goes BOTH ways - guys and girls.slowandeasy said:
Yes, but I'm tall, good looking and well dressed!slowandeasy said:
ExGFE, it was not that you got upset with the guy for being stupid... it was because you shit on the rest of us who might not be.ExGFE said:
Obviously, you are sensitive about your past, and would like to keep that locked away. Like I said earlier, there is no need to be ashamed or paranoid about it. This might happen again, just be prepared with a standard line.
"sorry sir, I think you have me mistaken for someone else". if the guy is really dense, he will probably try to clarify himself... but there is nothing you can do if he really is that stupid... just don't hate the rest of us because of it..
E
enduser1
Hi,ExGFE said:
Well, now that you have spelled it out, I get it. I didn't realize from your earlier post that he was trying to hire you. That is difficult. I guess the frustrating part is that you didn't want to be picked up.
One of the hottest most scorching proposals I ever recieved was with an escort who had quit. I met her in a parking lot of a Loblaws. I said hi, she said hi back. She had quit and was pretty vocal about it.
Anyway she came up to me and said, "I can't believe how much I want this. I have an hour if you have the money." I didn't have the hour. I was just too busy which is too bad. Really too bad.
EU
Hopefully not all of us?ExGFE said:
He's a moron. I would never do that, and I would be mortified if an SP did that to me in public. It comes as a surprise too quickly to come up with a convincing lie on the spot and potentially puts you in a very bad situation.
I understand how you must have felt!
There's an SP in Toronto who kept calling my cellphone on slow days to see whether or not I was interested--sometimes she would call when I was with my wife, or friends. I would just say "wrong number", etc., but really, totally inappropriate behavior.
I have heard that about you... do you have pictures?? Are you a pitcher or a catcher? I prefer being the pitcher, so I hope you don't mind catching..Captain Fantastic said:
Alright, enough of this
Well it could be anything, honestly. He could be your father-in-law, your neighbour, your older co-worker, friend of the family, friend's dad, ex BF's dad, anything.ExGFE said:
Of course when you have to figure out a lie on the spot it isn't pleasant and understandably you want to cover up your past so obviously it will be a big source of worry for you.
However for your own sanity don't assume that other people will immediately see that you must be an SP, there are actually a million ordinary reasons why an older guy might walk up and say hello to a younger woman.
I have to agree with ExGFE on that ... the 'Ho' insult was totally uncalled for, and coming form a lurker with a grand total of 11 posts, who has contributed nothing but a few smartass remarks (and not even one review btw), I would hope an apology is in order. Sounds like we have another misogynist trashing the ladies, behind the safety of his anonymity.ExGFE said:
Sensitive? You are sensitive for defending my little venting fit and trying to be difficult where as you agree with why he was wrong anyways. How is it you keep saying things or assuming things when I addressed many of the points. As for the strange men, LOL that is the point those guys come at me with charm or lack thereof. But this guy comes at me asking if I still work, if I want to go out and all based on the fact he paid me in the past as well as willing to pay again if I saw him. See the other guys don't seem strange because they have balls to do so. This guy wouldn't talk to me othewrwise. Strange is the old married guy talking to a young hoochie that looks obviously uncomfortable. I mean if I walked off and really told him what I thought, how am I suppose to know if he will hurt me. This really dissappoints me becuase it is so easy to be the big bad hobbyist behind your keyboard. You see a weird looking girl and not only do you jet but probably come on here to harrass. gosh where my ladies at? And thanks guys for understanding.
Is that a sincere thanks or sarcastic? Can't tell without hearing the inflection in your voice.ExGFE said:
Honestly I am about to play both sides of the fence on this topic. I had just started in this biz mid last year, I was having dinner with a bf and coinsidentally, My first client ever with my agency strolls in and got seated right beside me. I was shitiing myself thinking I just seen buddy yesterday . Is he gonna say "hey how are you?" Then I got up to use the bathroom and sat back down at my table and relized he was as nervous as I was. He was with a friend and probably had the same concern that I had thinking I was gonna shoot around and Say "hey John thanks for yesterday" . But neither of us said anything which was greatly appreaciated on both ends.
But wish I can say the other part of the story was that way. I recently was out on date with a client/friend. He is yonge so am I and we are of the same race. So to everyone else we look like a typical couple,now here comes my old "friend" and walks right up to me with ease and says "Hey Max!" I said Hi Jack! whats going on, and he starts making convo with me while Im on my date mind you. Asking about my old sp friend and where she is? Now Im beyond mortified.......thinking how the F*** does this look? I kinda indicate for him to leave...After 5-6 min of convo While on my date! Then I was left to explain my relation to this gent whom was older and definitely outside my nationality...... oh that was fun!!!!! And to add icing to the cake he whispers his suite number to me, for me stop by and come up for a drink! So trust there are those guys that know nothing about DISCRETION. Men I tell ya!
. Is he gonna say "hey how are you?" Then I got up to use the bathroom and sat back down at my table and relized he was as nervous as I was. He was with a friend and probably had the same concern that I had thinking I was gonna shoot around and Say "hey John thanks for yesterday" . But neither of us said anything which was greatly appreaciated on both ends. But wish I can say the other part of the story was that way. I recently was out on date with a client/friend. He is yonge so am I and we are of the same race. So to everyone else we look like a typical couple,now here comes my old "friend" and walks right up to me with ease and says "Hey Max!" I said Hi Jack! whats going on, and he starts making convo with me while Im on my date mind you. Asking about my old sp friend and where she is? Now Im beyond mortified.......thinking how the F*** does this look? I kinda indicate for him to leave...After 5-6 min of convo While on my date! Then I was left to explain my relation to this gent whom was older and definitely outside my nationality...... oh that was fun!!!!! And to add icing to the cake he whispers his suite number to me, for me stop by and come up for a drink! So trust there are those guys that know nothing about DISCRETION. Men I tell ya!
Sorry for the white noise, but if you wanted suspense go to a hitchcock film. Here I was just trying to have a little discussion. Regardless which opinion is right, can I just confirm that you do want my perspective, or don't? As I said I don't want to spoil the whole boys club thing.
- J xoxo
Ps I was sincere for all those that understand. Just stay away unless the girl
initiates. And please keep in mind this guy was not casanova. I wasn't flustered. Him on the other hand could have been flustered, or bastard. First real play on words joke. I am learning.
- J xoxo
Ps I was sincere for all those that understand. Just stay away unless the girl
initiates. And please keep in mind this guy was not casanova. I wasn't flustered. Him on the other hand could have been flustered, or bastard. First real play on words joke. I am learning.
In no way am I condoning this behaviour (being approached), but if I were you, I'd be counting my lucky stars. In my situation, I had to explain what was going on...it wasn't easy and has been brought up a few times since. A few ladies I have known, one lost her job, the other, her SO found out and she was beaten over it and another her parents. And I am quite certain I will be approached again, it's just a matter of time but I will be prepared. There are many risks in this business, and this is one of them. I hope you can get over this All the best to you.
All the best to you.ExGFE said:Sorry for the white noise, but if you wanted suspense go to a hitchcock film. Here I was just trying to have a little discussion. Regardless which opinion is right, can I just confirm that you do want my perspective, or don't? As I said I don't want to spoil the whole boys club thing.
- J xoxo
Ps I was sincere for all those that understand. Just stay away unless the girl
initiates. And please keep in mind this guy was not casanova. I wasn't flustered. Him on the other hand could have been flustered, or bastard. First real play on words joke. I am learning.
I certainly look forward to contributions from the ladies when they are well thought out and they understand the audience they are talking to . Take a look at Maxine's post . I would rate that as an excellent post from the SP's perspective . She applauds the good behaviour and puts down the bad behaviour with excellent examples . Remember you aren't talking to your girlfriends but a collection of characters from both genders and some in between that come with sensibilities that need to be respected.
I am glad to hear you made a life for yourself after being an SP . Now that is an interesting topic .
.Sweet_Maxine said:Honestly I am about to play both sides of the fence on this topic. I had just started in this biz mid last year, I was having dinner with a bf and coinsidentally, My first client ever with my agency strolls in and got seated right beside me. I was shitiing myself thinking I just seen buddy yesterday
But wish I can say the other part of the story was that way. I recently was out on date with a client/friend. He is yonge so am I and we are of the same race. So to everyone else we look like a typical couple,now here comes my old "friend" and walks right up to me with ease and says "Hey Max!" I said Hi Jack! whats going on, and he starts making convo with me while Im on my date mind you. Asking about my old sp friend and where she is? Now Im beyond mortified.......thinking how the F*** does this look? I kinda indicate for him to leave...After 5-6 min of convo While on my date! Then I was left to explain my relation to this gent whom was older and definitely outside my nationality...... oh that was fun!!!!! And to add icing to the cake he whispers his suite number to me, for me stop by and come up for a drink! So trust there are those guys that know nothing about DISCRETION. Men I tell ya!
.
Excellent post Maxine .
not to worry, IMO, the ladies perspective is always welcome, at least by most terb members. However there are always a few ego-driven misogynists for whom some SPs are too much 'woman' to handle (par example, Gen), who ruffle a few too many feathers, I guess. But hey, we're big boys ... we can take it.ExGFE said:
Believe me, even the guys have to go through a bit of a 'hazing' ritual, by the alpha-males, before being allowed full membership into the terb boy's club. Just be prepared to take some heat ... sounds to me like that should be no problem for you.
