If you want to moan about monetary issues, compare notes with many people here about how much money they spend every year on SP's. Add it up, and a lot of people on terb could probably have bought a nice luxury car by now, and a few people are into second home territory. You pay your money, you take your chances, and hopefully you enjoy the ride. No use, whatsoever, in thinking about the money. It's a "sunk cost", you already spent it, it's gone, you aren't going to get it back. Even if this girl comes back to you, it's not going to be compensating you for the gifts you bought her.
Maybe you are the kind of guy who likes showering your girl with gifts. Great. Nothing wrong with that. Find a new girl to shower gifts on.
If you REALLY think you want to try again with this girl, then the following is the only way it's going to happen, and you have to be SINCERE in this: Take a break from her. See other people. Go out on some dates. Don't let any of those relationships become too seriously (at least, don't plan to -- hey if one does, is that bad?). Get your friends to set you up on dates, do the online dating thing, ask chicks out at your work or parties--do your thing.
Once you've dated a couple of different women you'll have a fresh perspective. You can think about them, you can think about her, and you can put into perspective whether she's really something special to you, or whether you're just hung up in the moment and not thinking clearly.
If after, say, six months or a year, you still feel that you really want to see her, that she's so much better then all these other girls, then go tell her that at THAT time. Say, you know, I dated this girl, I dated that girl, and right now I'm kind of seeing this other one, but I just thought I'd see how you're doing because you seem better.
BUT -- you cannot have that conversation until it's real. You can't fake it. You can't go on dates with other women just to try and get the first one back. Really go on those dates. Really see. And once you see, if she is "the one" and it's "destiny" well then maybe give it another try.
But I bet you will find someone new, and you will just move on.
And yeah, there is a bit of a chance that once she realizes that you are dating someone else, she might want you back. And at that point, you may want to think about whether YOU really want her back.
I will tell you this: One of my early girlfriends dumped me for another guy. I set out on a MISSION to get her back. I did all the right things, kept a distance, but made my intentions clear. I sent inexpensive but thoughtful gifts from time to time. I kept enough of a respectful distance not to creep her out. And bit by bit, my efforts paid off. Eventually, she came back to me. We got back together, she moved back into my place. And you know what? I was just sick of her shit. I didn't really want her back, and we just broke up again, because I wasn't into it. I was into not being dumped, and really, we just weren't meant to be.
Sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees. You REALLY need a fresh perspective. Get out there and date.
