breakups

[Ms.FemmeFatale]

Yawn!

Is this not done yet?

 

[red]

the thread is already longer than the stalking (i mean relationship)

 

[jw01]

hey guys

thanks for all the comments and help...it definitely helps to vent out the issues and get great advice good/bad from anyone here, so i do appreciate it....yes it's alot harder but it is what it is.

strange but she called me on friday night 4 times, i didnt pick up....again, called me last night thru a random # at 12.30am i picked up only to realize it was her when she spoke. she said shes sorry she called but wanted to know "if i missed her"...she said she misses me alot all the time every min....and then went to being random and telling me how her life is better w/o me and shes happy, eating better, enjoying life --> as if i stopped her from doing all this sheesh!!!, then she tells me shes seeing someone but shes confused but misses me and doesnt know if what shes doing is the right thing. she said she broke down fri night telling her mom, she feels like she made a bad decision....hence why she called me so many times that night....

anyways, i told her, i have no intentions to talking to her but in all honesty i do miss her and i told her that.....anyways, just dont know what to do or why she calls to say this shit to my face?.....

 

[jw01]

Thank you Blofeld. That means a lot.

Sophie...thanks for your kind words and advice like the rest of the guys here....im definitely trying but it's tough man!

 

[massman]

hey guys

thanks for all the comments and help...it definitely helps to vent out the issues and get great advice good/bad from anyone here, so i do appreciate it....yes it's alot harder but it is what it is.

strange but she called me on friday night 4 times, i didnt pick up....again, called me last night thru a random # at 12.30am i picked up only to realize it was her when she spoke. she said shes sorry she called but wanted to know "if i missed her"...she said she misses me alot all the time every min....and then went to being random and telling me how her life is better w/o me and shes happy, eating better, enjoying life --> as if i stopped her from doing all this sheesh!!!, then she tells me shes seeing someone but shes confused but misses me and doesnt know if what shes doing is the right thing. she said she broke down fri night telling her mom, she feels like she made a bad decision....hence why she called me so many times that night....

anyways, i told her, i have no intentions to talking to her but in all honesty i do miss her and i told her that.....anyways, just dont know what to do or why she calls to say this shit to my face?.....

wow. Maybe she is just really confused, doesnt know what she wants. Maybe she wants her cake (whoever she is with) and wants to eat it too (still have your undying love and admiration). Maybe she is a stone cold hearted bitch. Maybe she was hammered and all of the above got mixed together.

In any case, telling someone you miss them and think of them all the time and then saying she is better wihtout you is messed up. Anyone with a pulse would know that would hurt you and mess with your emotions especially given recent events. think about this. About how important it is for her to "let all her feelings out" vs. the consequences for you. Sure maybe she is really confused, relationshiups and life re natually completely fucked up and defy logic, but through all of this, from what you have said, she has (in her own words) been "all about her". Sure we all need to look after ourselves. But disregarding the feelings of someone who you have shared years with is pretty cold, and ill dare say, selfish.

 

[Mikehorn]

As soon as she finds out you're dating someone else, she will beg you to take her back. If you really can't live without this emotional basket case, that's the way to do it.

 

[Vermeer27]

Ask yourself "what happened to me in my life to make me believe I deserve this bullshit!" Because if you still like her, you have an emotional need to let people hurt you. No shame in this, many people think this way. Figure yourself out, recognize the patterns, because the next user that comes along will have you figured out and this will happen again.

 

[**Sophie**]

Sophie...thanks for your kind words and advice like the rest of the guys here....im definitely trying but it's tough man!

My pleasure JW. I know it's hard. Sometimes it would be easier to get a punch in the face, at least we would heal faster.

 

[IM469]

As soon as she finds out you're dating someone else, she will beg you to take her back. If you really can't live without this emotional basket case, that's the way to do it.

Yes, there might be a ~ 1% chance that she a) actually finds out you are dating someone else. b) when she does, she gets jealous

or

99% chance that she will be happy that you moved on because a) she doesn't have to feel any residual guilt about the break up b) she is now free to move on without having to worry about the stalker.

BTW: Any thoughts about the girl you will date with the plan to dump her when the old girl friend 'begs' for your return ? What do you do with her when your plan fails ?

 

[Mikehorn]

Yes, there might be a ~ 1% chance that she a) actually finds out you are dating someone else. b) when she does, she gets jealous

or

99% chance that she will be happy that you moved on because a) she doesn't have to feel any residual guilt about the break up b) she is now free to move on without having to worry about the stalker.

BTW: Any thoughts about the girl you will date with the plan to dump her when the old girl friend 'begs' for your return ? What do you do with her when your plan fails ?

Not saying she will be jealous exactly, she doesn't want him but probably can't stand the thought of him being happy with anyone else (you're forgetting we're talking about two very immature people here). She wants to keep him at arm's length, but still feel free to yank the leash anytime she likes.

 

[jw01]

wow. Maybe she is just really confused, doesnt know what she wants. Maybe she wants her cake (whoever she is with) and wants to eat it too (still have your undying love and admiration). Maybe she is a stone cold hearted bitch. Maybe she was hammered and all of the above got mixed together.

In any case, telling someone you miss them and think of them all the time and then saying she is better wihtout you is messed up. Anyone with a pulse would know that would hurt you and mess with your emotions especially given recent events. think about this. About how important it is for her to "let all her feelings out" vs. the consequences for you. Sure maybe she is really confused, relationshiups and life re natually completely fucked up and defy logic, but through all of this, from what you have said, she has (in her own words) been "all about her". Sure we all need to look after ourselves. But disregarding the feelings of someone who you have shared years with is pretty cold, and ill dare say, selfish.

yeah man, u said it...i get it she is confused and prob just wants to go awol once and enjoy herself, but to this shit and f with my mind, it's so fucking retarded on her part. she got jealous when i told her during our call that i went on a date and started acting really wild...i could sense she was jealous which was odd b/c i dont know if she wants me or doesnt want me? heck she was out of love for me for a couple of yrs but she knows what ive done for her inside her heart, regardless of what her mind tells her or what her mom may influence her.

anyways, i get fkd up in my head b/c it's so confusing and like wtf do u want from me type of deal, jeez :S i love the girl clearly but man, at times i dont get it man.

 

[hemi]

When you met this girl, she was overweight. She didn't think she could do any better, so she "settled" for you. It didn't hurt that you were buying her expensive LV bags and Louboutins.

Now that she has lost the weight and is hot, she realizes that she can do a lot better. She wants to have fun and sleep around. It doesn't really matter if the new guy turns out be a jerk, because she's not looking for a husband now.

You want to marry her because she's hot and you don't think that you'll ever be able to do better.

If you could find a new girl as hot and really into you, you would forget about her very quickly. This is what you need to concentrate on now, not wasting your time trying to win her back.