breakups
- Thread starter jw01
- Start date
He is in no mental state to start dating. Why should some other chick become prey to his problems?
JW: work out. invest yourself in your career. make new friends. become a BETTER MAN than she knew.
I GUARANTEE you that this chick will find no happiness, not in the short term anyways. Her family seems to be her enablers.
You are 26 and she's 23, this was not going to be a relationship for life. Take this as a learning lesson, shrug it off and move on. You dodged a bullet.
so you guys dont think i should interfere and tell her cousin to talk to her about what i heard???? her mom is a fking idiot and thinks her daughter should smoke up to relief her stress and go out and shit...which is fine but smoking up and all OK...but anyz....i just thought her mom would see me for what i did for her daughter, but that hurts the most.
it's so hard to not think about her or what she is doing. i went on a casual date or chat with a chic and i just ended up talking about my relationship etc...it was stupid. even if i go see SPs i am just thinking bout her body or wanting to be with her - it's such a temporary solution.
i just want someone to talk to her about this dude so she can see what his intentions are regardless of the fact that he introduced her to his mom and shit and appears to care.....i know sometimes ppl need to learn the hard way but man....how can she be so easy on other vs. be so hard and tough on me? i get we have a history and past but man....i still care for her and dont want her hurt.....i wish i could fast forward my life right now and now have this feeling anymore!
stop whining and man up. seriously, you've dodged a bullet. Like Sophie said, let go. And after letting go, spend some time and the money you've saved by investing in yourself. And someone better will find you.
i have been going to the gym past couple of weeks which is good...in terms of trying to become a better man...i want to show her this but w/o an opportunity from her, how am i suppose to show ive changed? that ive learned where i messed up with my folks in our relationship and it wont happen again. we were young and made mistakes, we are human. but i need her to believe in me and show me some faith...but she has her mind set that i am not meant to be in her life right now....and this douchebag is...no knock on em, he paves road for a living and drive a 03 cavalier man, like wtfff.....i get he introduced u to his mom, but ur prob the 5th or 6th chic he has introduced to his folks...vs u were the only girl i fought my folks for. yes, they are new to the country and its a culture shock, but i did so much more for her that our relationship shouldnt be based on all this external noises?
uggg..i wish God can help me and show her a sign that we can make this work. she has so much hate for me that even homeless joe looks like an allstar!!!!
you become a better person for yourself, not someone else. And this level of desperation is sad.
yeah...i think i really fkd up up a couple weeks back by writing her essays after essays and msging her mom long messages...looked so desperate like a high school girl....any chance i had i think i just killed it by constantly nagging at her....but she was cold as fk and kept playing mind games with me which didnt help.....but yeah....i just hope i didnt fk it up for good.
ill stay away from messaging or contacting her b/c she doesnt care anymore but wish she could call and beter, if i can tell her bout that guys true intentions or the fact that guys boy was talking smack.
The relationship was over before you did that. She is already fucking other guys. Even if you "warn" her not to fuck this one guy, even if she listens (which she won't, she likes fucking him) she will just find another guy to fuck.
Best thing you can do is move on. Any lessons you can learn about how to behave better in a relationship, you can apply to the next time..
Your writing a zillion messages isn't what drove her away. If she liked you, the first couple would have worked. If she liked you, anything would have worked. Nothing worked because she doesn't like you, and nothing you do will change that.
Go on some dates. Don't take them seriously. Have fun. Move on.
Listen, she's with someone else now so get over it. To put this is plain English, she is having sex with this dude. Don't want to hurt your feelings but it is what it is. Don't blame new guy for being with her. It's not his fault that she decided to be with him and not you. It really bothers me when guys put the hate on the new boyfriends. It ain't his fault bro !!
You need to just get over this and the sooner the better. Do you think she is spending time thinking about you, the way you are thinking about her? NOPE. You had good times together and now it's over. You will have many more break ups, so move on and live life and enjoy new pussy.
Jw01 I know you are in your mid 20`s but man you are immature, I was looking over your posting history and you ask a lot of questions about what to do in life.
If its not about brekups its
Thread: verbal harrasment at work
Thread: relationships and families - issues
Thread: anniversary gift idea
Thread: job opportunity
Thread: Restaurant ownership (dummies guide)
Thread: what to buy and how to save?
Thread: variable cost per person - restaurant catering
Thread: hiring employees
Thread: business planning
Thread: financing for a house
Thread: relationship question
And those are the threads I found only going back to last year you started asking questions.
I think you need get up from the computer and go see a psychiatrist or some type of a counsellor to help you with your issues. It seems like you are trying to find a shortcut to everything you want to do and not looking to learn or experience anything for your self.
Again I will tell you no women in her right mind wants to date an immature boy they want a man who can stand up for them and according to the following threads you started you didn`t stand up for your girl for a very long time and she finally left your ass which to anyone in the right state of mind is deserved.
08-02-2010, 01:59 PM #1 jw01
View Profile View Forum Posts Private Message View Blog Entries View Articles Add as Contact
Registered User
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Join Date:Jul 2005
Posts:234breakup rules
Hola amigos,
So I posted earlier bout relationship issues but it feel retarded and I don`t want to leave her but no point being in something where I`m giving 100prcnt and she doesn`t care....yet she gets pissed when I look at other women etc and says she loves me etc...anyz
So my question is, if we end up leaving each other (which is becoming more and more apparent from her behavior); do I get or ask for everything I have given her to date?
I have spent a lot of $ on her, buying clothes, louis, gucci bags over 5k, and so much more, which depresses me cause its a big sum!!!! So do I want all the items back and being a bitch like she is?!? I`m not sure what to do, cause I don`t want to leave her but...ur input guys will be helpful and pls no wise_guy comments here...I`m being emotionally drained so suxs ass....thxs
Cheers
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?298241-breakup-rules&p=3212952&highlight=#post3212952
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?366457-relationship-question
BTW I think you are pissed off more about the money you have spent on her and you have not gotten what you wanted out of her, and you prove this point by stating it over and over in every thread about her.
If its not about brekups its
Thread: verbal harrasment at work
Thread: relationships and families - issues
Thread: anniversary gift idea
Thread: job opportunity
Thread: Restaurant ownership (dummies guide)
Thread: what to buy and how to save?
Thread: variable cost per person - restaurant catering
Thread: hiring employees
Thread: business planning
Thread: financing for a house
Thread: relationship question
And those are the threads I found only going back to last year you started asking questions.
I think you need get up from the computer and go see a psychiatrist or some type of a counsellor to help you with your issues. It seems like you are trying to find a shortcut to everything you want to do and not looking to learn or experience anything for your self.
Again I will tell you no women in her right mind wants to date an immature boy they want a man who can stand up for them and according to the following threads you started you didn`t stand up for your girl for a very long time and she finally left your ass which to anyone in the right state of mind is deserved.
08-02-2010, 01:59 PM #1 jw01
View Profile View Forum Posts Private Message View Blog Entries View Articles Add as Contact
Registered User
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Join Date:Jul 2005
Posts:234breakup rules
Hola amigos,
So I posted earlier bout relationship issues but it feel retarded and I don`t want to leave her but no point being in something where I`m giving 100prcnt and she doesn`t care....yet she gets pissed when I look at other women etc and says she loves me etc...anyz
So my question is, if we end up leaving each other (which is becoming more and more apparent from her behavior); do I get or ask for everything I have given her to date?
I have spent a lot of $ on her, buying clothes, louis, gucci bags over 5k, and so much more, which depresses me cause its a big sum!!!! So do I want all the items back and being a bitch like she is?!? I`m not sure what to do, cause I don`t want to leave her but...ur input guys will be helpful and pls no wise_guy comments here...I`m being emotionally drained so suxs ass....thxs
Cheers
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?298241-breakup-rules&p=3212952&highlight=#post3212952
https://terb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?366457-relationship-question
BTW I think you are pissed off more about the money you have spent on her and you have not gotten what you wanted out of her, and you prove this point by stating it over and over in every thread about her.
It's sad to think that you provide this woman with gifts (defined as: a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.) and now you want them back! I get it you are upset but any item you gave her without a promise or arrangement in the past is not yours anymore sorry, let it go. In the future, don't buy gifts, go on trips that way if you spend 5k at least you are getting something out of it and she can share the cost when you get there.
You keep mentioning that this girl is naive with men but maybe that's what she needs to experience? You said you were seeing her for 8 years and she is 23. Maybe she wants to try different things before she settles down.
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I was in your place once, it's a hard task but sometimes you need to take a hard look on the inside before you can move forward instead of just focusing on the outside.[/FONT]
You keep mentioning that this girl is naive with men but maybe that's what she needs to experience? You said you were seeing her for 8 years and she is 23. Maybe she wants to try different things before she settles down.
[FONT=arial, sans-serif]I was in your place once, it's a hard task but sometimes you need to take a hard look on the inside before you can move forward instead of just focusing on the outside.[/FONT]
Answer me this.... Why is this any of YOUR problem?
Btw, has it occurred to you that she's being extra mean to you because she can't stand to have you around her? Has it occurred to you that that is because she knows that she isn't deserving of your kindness?
Probably going to take some heat for this. Sure it sounds like she treated you like crap, and I'm sure there is emotional pain from the breakup.
But, if you were madly n love with her and she was the only woman for you, why would you frequent a board that reviews escorts?
Is it possible, that she was able to sense tha you were less than fully committed?
Just something to think about especially when you move into another relationship...
But, if you were madly n love with her and she was the only woman for you, why would you frequent a board that reviews escorts?
Is it possible, that she was able to sense tha you were less than fully committed?
Just something to think about especially when you move into another relationship...
I might sound a bit harsh here but please understand that it all comes from a place of kindness.
You are too young to be engaged and she is definitely too young to be engaged. I think you were the one who made a thread about your family not accepting her and agonizing over how to manage it all. At the time, the fact that you were unwilling to immediately take a firm stand with your family was a pretty good indicator that you're not ready for such a serious commitment. And it sounds like you two had been together for a while. If so, she's so young that she hasn't really had a chance to experience life. This is something she needs. My one disagreement with the great advice you're getting from many of the others on this thread is that she's probably not a bad person. The fact that you're so desperate to get back with her proves she must have many good qualities. She's young. She's needs to experience life, make mistakes, and grow as a person. And this often means hooking up with people who may not care for her any way other than sexually. That's ok. Nobody worries about men doing that (um, terb!). You don't own her body so stop trying to control what she does with it. There's a very good chance she knows that this guy (or guys) is not 'good' for her, but it's what she wants right now. She may end up hurt, but that's life. She needs a chance to experience life and it feels like you're trying to stifle her. People don't react well to that and it's probably why she's being so cold.
Finally, the gifts. It's totally appropriate to get your stuff back but not the gifts. Gifts are gifts. Asking to get back things you bought her demonstrates a real lack of class/maturity. Again it sounds like you trying to own her. I can't imagine anyone reacting well to learning that what they thought was given in generosity was actually just an assurance for her continued devotion. I'm not saying all this to be a jerk. Many of us have been in similar situations. Now we look back and realize that 1) it probably saved us from a lot of misery later on and 2) it's a chance to grow and mature personally. In two years you'll be shaking your head and laughing at how dramatic it all seemed at the time.
You are too young to be engaged and she is definitely too young to be engaged. I think you were the one who made a thread about your family not accepting her and agonizing over how to manage it all. At the time, the fact that you were unwilling to immediately take a firm stand with your family was a pretty good indicator that you're not ready for such a serious commitment. And it sounds like you two had been together for a while. If so, she's so young that she hasn't really had a chance to experience life. This is something she needs. My one disagreement with the great advice you're getting from many of the others on this thread is that she's probably not a bad person. The fact that you're so desperate to get back with her proves she must have many good qualities. She's young. She's needs to experience life, make mistakes, and grow as a person. And this often means hooking up with people who may not care for her any way other than sexually. That's ok. Nobody worries about men doing that (um, terb!). You don't own her body so stop trying to control what she does with it. There's a very good chance she knows that this guy (or guys) is not 'good' for her, but it's what she wants right now. She may end up hurt, but that's life. She needs a chance to experience life and it feels like you're trying to stifle her. People don't react well to that and it's probably why she's being so cold.
Finally, the gifts. It's totally appropriate to get your stuff back but not the gifts. Gifts are gifts. Asking to get back things you bought her demonstrates a real lack of class/maturity. Again it sounds like you trying to own her. I can't imagine anyone reacting well to learning that what they thought was given in generosity was actually just an assurance for her continued devotion. I'm not saying all this to be a jerk. Many of us have been in similar situations. Now we look back and realize that 1) it probably saved us from a lot of misery later on and 2) it's a chance to grow and mature personally. In two years you'll be shaking your head and laughing at how dramatic it all seemed at the time.
hey
i think you are bang on with your theory...she often complained to me that she needs to experience life and that i "held her back" - may be b/c i know what guys are like and didnt want her hurt but at the same time, she was guilty of this as well. yes i am on terb and did see SPs previously in the past so i should not be acting the way i am b/c i was not true myself. i did what i did with the SPs to get away from the drama and enjoy sex when it was not the greatest with her with her emotions and all. anyhow, i know i have lost her but just hope there is a chance or place in her heart where she sees us together may be down the road? she often emphasized after new years, not sure what but her recently email a few days back pretty much said she is through with me....only b/c i think she has this new dude to put her shoulders on.
shes often cried to me that she needs to make mistakes in her life to learn so i guess that is what she is rebelling against. i guess her weight before and all that limited her and just used me as a scapegoat right now to get rid of me in her life for now?
im trying to be positive and not think of her but it's difficult b/c its so fresh and also b/c its psychological. the fact she is pushing me away so much with no remorse is for some reason telling me i want her that much more. im not sure if another girl in my life will eliminate such feelings, as it appears another random dude has done that for her for now?
in terms of the gifts, i realize gifts are gifts and i spent my hard earned money to buy her expensive gifts...it's a lesson for sure to not do overboard but i did it with full commitment to have a future. the only reason i would want any of the gifts back is b/c of her treatment towards me and how cold she is. but to date i have not msgd her or her mom to return me any of the items. i still love this girl truly but i guess was naive or think it would not end in this misery. like i said, i thought the good ive done in her life would out weight any negative or at least one day she would sit back and see how i treated her like a queen. she knows this but to ur point wants to rebel and "experience" life.....suxs b/c i didnt wanna lose her a partner!
