Backlash after psychologist claims men lonely due to high dating standards

[angrymime666]

You know what? I should re-phrase that because there are many women who think that as well and find out that it is not what sustains a relationship.

Loving, caring, good communication, empathy, emotional maturity, etc. There are some of the things needed.

This goes for both sides as well, but we are talking about men because the article was about them. You really could write an identical article about women

an identical book. I dont think so. women want different things then men. there could be some slight overlap but we have different mating strategies

Lead? Whose "Lead" supercedes whose?

I am not providing nor following a lead. I am what I am, you are what you are. I take you as you are, you take me as I am.

end of story.

sure a person is the way they are. there are leaders and followers. there are dominant and submissive personalities.

there are also people that act one way but after time act completely different(the honey moon period)almost chameleon like.

some people have some skills and other have a completely different set of skills.

competency in my opinion sets a person as a leader in a relationship.

I like being upfront about my relationship requirements and if they dont like it they can exit the door they came in. competency and consistency have shaped my life in what I have wanted. Im not willing to jeopardize what I have built for someone who wont follow my lead or fuck with I have built.

 

[angrymime666]

I haven't closely read this entire thread.

But this much I am sure of.

The idea of entering a relationship, and feeling that in any way whatsoever you have the right to CHANGE another person's behaviour is quite frankly ridiculous. And I don't use language like that often. But it doesn't make sense. Let me explain why.

We all have our (1) Quirks (2) Tastes ( 3) Behaviour.

Of course, quirks and tastes are a subset of behaviour, but I have separated them intentionally.

Quirks:

Whistling. Humming. Chewing on your moustache. Constantly checks the time. Starts every sentence with, "Like, .."

You get the idea.

Tastes.

I like black, brown and blue, you like peach, mango, and aquamarine. I like Ozzy, you like Buble.

Behaviour.

You are an arrogant asshole prick drama-queen. Or you are a calm, helpful, mature individual.

You have no right to change (1) or (2). WTF are you even doing with someone one whose ( 3) values are so different to yours?

I dont think I said anywhere to change someone. however, vetting someone and deciding whether those quirks, tastes and behavior are either tolerable or exiting stage right has nothing to do with rights but choosing the type of behavior and person you wish to keep around you . they can keep being the way they want just not around me.

 

[angrymime666]

"I have found a lot of men either can’t or won’t bring much else to the table."

And therein lies the crux to modern relationships.

I would say that its not just what men bring to the table, but women also dont bring what men want to the table. the sexes are at an impasse. accept it, navigate as best as you can and enjoy your life in the best manner you see fit.

 

[New World]

The sexual market place is not a nice place. The 80 /20 rule is real... And it's not what you think. 100% of women want the top 20% of men. That does not mean they will get a top 20% man. Hypergamy is real..

 

[jeff2]

I would say that its not just what men bring to the table, but women also dont bring what men want to the table. the sexes are at an impasse. accept it, navigate as best as you can and enjoy your life in the best manner you see fit.

No compromise. No deal.

 

[Claudia Love]

Backlash after psychologist claims men lonely due to high dating standards

Doc gets hate mail after claim men lonely because of high standards of modern women

torontosun.com

men are dumb they want a 10 and waste there life hoping for one when a 6 could be there soulmate and bring them so much fun out of life and home

being lonely gets you in trouble .....you must be happy being single before you find a partner or you'll be clingy

 

[NotADcotor]

The sexual market place is not a nice place. The 80 /20 rule is real... And it's not what you think. 100% of women want the top 20% of men. That does not mean they will get a top 20% man Hypergamy is real.

They say that, and it is probably true in the clubs and dating apps but in the real world, females tend to be settled down, I rarely come across one who is single, and they are not sharing the 20% of guys. Usually in the couple the guy and girl are pretty close to the same level and temperment. Nerds with nerds, Idiots with idiots etc.

 

[Jenesis]

an identical book. I dont think so. women want different things then men. there could be some slight overlap but we have different mating strategies

You also missed the point of the article. The article was about lack of communication. That can apply to women as well.

Or are you saying only men have communication issues?

 

[xix]

I have met women and men of all levels of education and I believe in selective hearing/conversation exist in ways don't notice. Another group people Can't communicate, and most will only communicate at work if managers or if they like you but outside of work they won't.

There are some YT channels that cover relationships positive and negative.
You can try

Justperalythings
or
Entrepreneurs in Cars

 

[barnacler]

I dont think I said anywhere to change someone. however, vetting someone and deciding whether those quirks, tastes and behavior are either tolerable or exiting stage right has nothing to do with rights but choosing the type of behavior and person you wish to keep around you . they can keep being the way they want just not around me.

Exactly, it needn't be antagonistic.

 

[luvdog]

100% of women want the top 20% of men. That does not mean they will get a top 20% man

There is one aspect that I disagree with, even though I know what you saying.
The top 20% of men is subjective.
If you are going to measure Top men by wealth and status, then people like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos should have great lives.


I see many women marry losers. They want a tall, assertive tough guy to lead and protect them.
They also want to control the relationship as well.
In the end, they end up getting abused by them, and their marriage ends in divorce.
You also see the increase of single motherhood.

Women aren't perfect.
Just because a Woman rejects you for someone else, doesn't mean that other guy is better than you.
It just means that she "thinks" he is.

Wish society wouldn't label Men as the only gender that needs fixing.

LD

 

[luvdog]

The article was about lack of communication. That can apply to women as well.

There are many articles that talk about Men having a lack of communication skills, hardly any on Women.

LD

 

[canada-man]

How To Test For High Quality Women

 

[Jenesis]

There are many articles that talk about Men having a lack of communication skills, hardly any on Women.

LD

Women lack communication skills as well. Women yell instead of talk, talk over instead of listen. We have our communication issues as well.

 

[angrymime666]

You also missed the point of the article. The article was about lack of communication. That can apply to women as well.

Or are you saying only men have communication issues?

never. both sexes are very dysfunctional in different ways.

 

[angrymime666]

No compromise. No deal.

it really depends on what the compromise is. some things are not going to be compromised on.

 

[Jenesis]

never. both sexes are very dysfunctional in different ways.

Exactly. That is all I was saying.

That and men and women seem to think that a job, house, car etc is what makes a good man. This is showing that communication among other personal traits are what is important and both sides lack in these as well.

 

[New World]

There is one aspect that I disagree with, even though I know what you saying.
The top 20% of men is subjective.
If you are going to measure Top men by wealth and status, then people like Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos should have great lives.


I see many women marry losers. They want a tall, assertive tough guy to lead and protect them.
They also want to control the relationship as well.
In the end, they end up getting abused by them, and their marriage ends in divorce.
You also see the increase of single motherhood.

Women aren't perfect.
Just because a Woman rejects you for someone else, doesn't mean that other guy is better than you.
It just means that she "thinks" he is.

Wish society wouldn't label Men as the only gender that needs fixing.

LD

Yes agreed. The top 20% is subjective.

 

[jalimon]

men are dumb they want a 10 and waste there life hoping for one when a 6 could be there soulmate and bring them so much fun out of life and home

being lonely gets you in trouble .....you must be happy being single before you find a partner or you'll be clingy

So much agree with you. Its dating 5 or 6 for a few years and having so much fun and fucking like a rabbit eventually lead me to have 2 kids with a 10

 

[nottyboi]

yes women are becoming increasingly selective, which is their prerogative.

however its mens prerogative whether they wish to meet their standards. men behave and show their emotions differently them women. I have found that women want men who emote like women, which is the farthest thing men should do.

They think they want it, but when they find it, they realize it not what they want.. most of the time. The #1 thing women seem to want is confidence.