Backlash after psychologist claims men lonely due to high dating standards
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Sounds like you picked the wrong women. You are right, the partner has to be on the same level unless one is willing to carry the other. Which is fine. Many are willing to do that. I personally am not.
In a lot of ways, I understand the MGTOW movement but I think it should be people going their own way. Many men think that because they have a good job, a nice car, money in the bank - that somehow makes them a good catch. This is so far from the truth.
I learned this when I became stable financially. Once I was on equal ground with car, house, job, etc. I have found a lot of men either can’t or won’t bring much else to the table. Like this article said, there is no such thing as communication at all. And that is just one example.
I have just resigned myself to living alone, escorting for companionship (and retirement savings, let’s be real, the money is important) and life is good and balanced this way.
He says men have trouble communicating, which holds them back. He says society doesn’t teach young men how to communicate.
I tend to agree, but that both men and women have communication problems. We’re becoming more insular and less social even with more social media and connectivity.
Single person homes are more common and there’s less stigma to being alone.
I tend to agree, but that both men and women have communication problems. We’re becoming more insular and less social even with more social media and connectivity.
Single person homes are more common and there’s less stigma to being alone.
You know what? I should re-phrase that because there are many women who think that as well and find out that it is not what sustains a relationship.
Loving, caring, good communication, empathy, emotional maturity, etc. There are some of the things needed.
This goes for both sides as well, but we are talking about men because the article was about them. You really could write an identical article about women
In theory, works great!!! In reality, both need to be mature, open to communicating, (letting th other person talk and listening) and not super sensitive to criticism from their partner. IMHO, can’t deal with excessive crying over nothing. Not a fan of sugar coating or babying while taking. It wastes time.
The above red confused me.
But I understand the last sentence. And yes women like to control and change men. Which it cannot be done and I have a met a few. Religion or no religion in them some people are just nuts.
I am trying to stay single but two women are now pushing it in their way. IF I can't say anything to your KIDS, then walk away.
Jenesis,
Could you elaborate more on that statement? I like living alone too at the moment and being a hobbyist.
But after the good job, car, and money, what else was this man lacking?
Unless he was a total douchebag.
LD
Key part, women too.
I have met a few who can't communicate, without pouting in silence.
LD
Ok. There is one. He could be a douchebag
he could have a good job but not be financially responsible.
He may be a emotionally or mentally immature, a guy who plays video games all day.
He could lack communication skills.
He could hate dogs. LOL. JK but lacking in over all manners, etc.
Those are some small things. Then others can be addictions, anger issues, etc. which are a bit worse.
That is just a little list. Again, having a job and a car and bank account doesn’t make a “good man”
yes most definitively, hence why I have a 4 year vetting period. it takes time for people to drop the façade and get over the emotional rush of a new person. it takes time to learn the actual dirt of a person. which is why people who rush into getting married and having kids without properly vetting their partner over time fail.
unfortunately finding a partner on the same level is next to impossible. its a numbers game really and when you combine your list of things you want and need you really narrow down your options.
carrying another person is a catastrophe waiting to happen. Im not willing to part with half my shit just because the government deems it so. I bet most people would feel the same.
mgtow is great but fundamentally if everyone went their own way society would implode. mgtow is a lifestyle. men walking away and choosing a path of least resistance to further improve there own lives be it personal, physically, emotionally or financially. if women choose to go their own way, all the best to them.
in past all those thing are a sign of security and stability. back when women did not make their own money it was a necessity to find a man like that. that was enough. today women out earn men when they are younger unless they pick a field which is not financially as lucrative. now; women want that and a whole lot more, which for many men is difficult to provide for. expectations have grown and its difficult to meet them. as men we were always expected to provide for our families, but that it is no longer enough.
as far as communication. women want men to communicate like women, which we are not. men communicate much differently. while some men will jump through hoops for women others will not. women know this and the majority of men are thirsty and will do so.
its interesting how you mention that men cant or dont bring much to the table. womens view of what a man should bring to the table is completely different than what a man wants a woman to bring to the table. we have different mating strategies.
I agree that being alone is the easiest way to navigate life. I have exponentially grown my empire while having an extremely laid back chill life without a live in companion. its much easier to pay for companionship when I want it versus date or live with someone.
spot on.
also another strategy. dont play the game. just rent. much better roi when you look at the cost of dating, marriage and divorce.
I haven't closely read this entire thread.
But this much I am sure of.
The idea of entering a relationship, and feeling that in any way whatsoever you have the right to CHANGE another person's behaviour is quite frankly ridiculous. And I don't use language like that often. But it doesn't make sense. Let me explain why.
We all have our (1) Quirks (2) Tastes ( 3) Behaviour.
Of course, quirks and tastes are a subset of behaviour, but I have separated them intentionally.
Quirks:
Whistling. Humming. Chewing on your moustache. Constantly checks the time. Starts every sentence with, "Like, .."
You get the idea.
Tastes.
I like black, brown and blue, you like peach, mango, and aquamarine. I like Ozzy, you like Buble.
Behaviour.
You are an arrogant asshole prick drama-queen. Or you are a calm, helpful, mature individual.
You have no right to change (1) or (2). WTF are you even doing with someone one whose ( 3) values are so different to yours?
Lead? Whose "Lead" supercedes whose?
I am not providing nor following a lead. I am what I am, you are what you are. I take you as you are, you take me as I am.
end of story.
"I have found a lot of men either can’t or won’t bring much else to the table."
And therein lies the crux to modern relationships.
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