any other guys who don't want kids and never want to get married?
- Thread starter desert monk
- Start date
Man, this is a complicated topic.
On one hand this and on the other hand that. The old saying, "you can't have your cake and it eat too" definitely comes to mind.
I've never been married, but I've "lived with" two (7 years and 2 years). Boy, that was an eye opener (in one case for sure.) I've also had several long term girlfriends -one who I was insanely in love with. (I'm actually able to fall in love without too much difficulty (something some men can never do no matter what)). I'm fairly happy with my life as it is for the most part. I wouldn't mind having kids, but as time marches on, that seems less and less likely.
I must admit, I see and understand the economic pitfalls associated with marriage. I've busted my ass over the years and the idea of giving a woman half after a year or two of marriage is just not something I feel like doing. (Call me selfish.) Until the divorce laws in Canada truly get reformed (i.e. with respect to the division of property) then really, I have no reason to get married.
To the OP I would suggest that you do whatever makes you happy.
In my case, that is single, but I'm all for having a committed Girlfriend. She doesn't have to be a "knock out" or the be all to end all. There's lots of other aspects to a woman that would intrigue me to date her.
On one hand this and on the other hand that. The old saying, "you can't have your cake and it eat too" definitely comes to mind.
I've never been married, but I've "lived with" two (7 years and 2 years). Boy, that was an eye opener (in one case for sure.) I've also had several long term girlfriends -one who I was insanely in love with. (I'm actually able to fall in love without too much difficulty (something some men can never do no matter what)). I'm fairly happy with my life as it is for the most part. I wouldn't mind having kids, but as time marches on, that seems less and less likely.
I must admit, I see and understand the economic pitfalls associated with marriage. I've busted my ass over the years and the idea of giving a woman half after a year or two of marriage is just not something I feel like doing. (Call me selfish.) Until the divorce laws in Canada truly get reformed (i.e. with respect to the division of property) then really, I have no reason to get married.
To the OP I would suggest that you do whatever makes you happy.
In my case, that is single, but I'm all for having a committed Girlfriend. She doesn't have to be a "knock out" or the be all to end all. There's lots of other aspects to a woman that would intrigue me to date her.
no, your not alone. im the exact same way. i dont want children, and have no interest in them. same with marrige.
Maybe she a great cook and likes to do laundry and keep your house clean. Not many girlfriends or SP's fit that mold.
I understand you see a wife or SO as a source for a loss of freedom. I never have and I feel just as unrestrained in my daily life.
If you want to be single go for it it, but it certainly doesn't give some people that sense of something negative. It actually cost me less money to have an SO. We share the cost of many things. Where do you think the phrase two can live cheaper than one comes from?
I have a few male friends who chose to remain spouse-less and child-less. Now into their late 40s/early 50s, that are, without exception, lonely, a little bitter and frankly, childish. They still carry on like 20-somethings, forever on the hunt for some young thing. (The ladies closer in age, all come with "baggage"... kids).
In my younger days, I worked too hard, earned great money but too late I realized it was at the expense of really strong relationships with my kids. For the past 5 - 8 years, I have worked very hard at fixing that, and now I have great relationships with all of them.
Would I have kids again, given the choice? Absolutely. But I would reduce the work hours etc. My kids are the best thing I've ever had a hand in creating. I'm very proud of all of them.
I remarried at 50 to a much younger woman who wanted a kid. I convinced her that that wasn't a great idea, but I sometimes regret that...
In my younger days, I worked too hard, earned great money but too late I realized it was at the expense of really strong relationships with my kids. For the past 5 - 8 years, I have worked very hard at fixing that, and now I have great relationships with all of them.
Would I have kids again, given the choice? Absolutely. But I would reduce the work hours etc. My kids are the best thing I've ever had a hand in creating. I'm very proud of all of them.
I remarried at 50 to a much younger woman who wanted a kid. I convinced her that that wasn't a great idea, but I sometimes regret that...
If you think about it most marriage end up due to convenience and the right timing for us to meet, greet, have sex and kids and grow old. It is not necessarily with the right partner since timing is the reason why you got married in the first place and not out of of love...not for most couples at least and that is why most marriages fail.
Think about it, of all the relatshionships that we get in, dont tell me that the one you married is the perfect of best person for you to spend your life with...in most cases it is , oh youre single, have a job, bored of going out to clubs trying to pick up...then helll marry me and save me...
that is why we get married as the time is ticking and moreso for woman so that is why as we live with the person we get bored, argue, fight over money and in laws...etc...
so in most cases it is best to date, have your freedom and enjoy life rather than be with a bitchy, complaining partner who knows that if you leave that that person will have 50% of your ASSets....
we men get the shit out of divorce and breakups due to the favoritism of woman in the court system...and the worse is when theyre kids involved...
besides, how many species out there have one partner and remain together until they die...only us...humans...who try to follow the good moral way of having one wife and live happily ever after....ya right...how rare do you see that now...especially now with the internet and new ways to communicate...just ask Tiger woods, has everything a man wants, money, fame, hot wife, kids and yet what does he do....hes an animal...or a ChEATA and not tiger anymore...that shows you how much we need variety in our life and thats why we love being with different woman at different times in our lives...
Well, its nice to have kids and wife but when all they do is cause stress, eat your bank account, suck out your zest for fun, then we must ask ourself cant we just live off of terb mp, sp, and sc partners and be happy and still save more money in the end?
Think about it, of all the relatshionships that we get in, dont tell me that the one you married is the perfect of best person for you to spend your life with...in most cases it is , oh youre single, have a job, bored of going out to clubs trying to pick up...then helll marry me and save me...
that is why we get married as the time is ticking and moreso for woman so that is why as we live with the person we get bored, argue, fight over money and in laws...etc...
so in most cases it is best to date, have your freedom and enjoy life rather than be with a bitchy, complaining partner who knows that if you leave that that person will have 50% of your ASSets....
we men get the shit out of divorce and breakups due to the favoritism of woman in the court system...and the worse is when theyre kids involved...
besides, how many species out there have one partner and remain together until they die...only us...humans...who try to follow the good moral way of having one wife and live happily ever after....ya right...how rare do you see that now...especially now with the internet and new ways to communicate...just ask Tiger woods, has everything a man wants, money, fame, hot wife, kids and yet what does he do....hes an animal...or a ChEATA and not tiger anymore...that shows you how much we need variety in our life and thats why we love being with different woman at different times in our lives...
Well, its nice to have kids and wife but when all they do is cause stress, eat your bank account, suck out your zest for fun, then we must ask ourself cant we just live off of terb mp, sp, and sc partners and be happy and still save more money in the end?
+1
Too many people get married and have kids because they think it's the next thing to do..... wrong answer.
I have two fantastic kids, wouldn't trade them for the world, literally..... but if you don't have it in you don't fake it, there are enough fucked up people out there as it is.
OTB
I sense some bitterness. So little of the above applies to me at all. I guess I'm lucky. I would have used blessed, but i didn't want to give some CM something to scratch away at. I'm on my second and it's definitely different then my first, not better or worse, just different. No children but a scaringly large extended family; all out of town.
no bitterness, just observation from all the friends and family that have gone through this and complained all the way to the courts and the banks and wallets...
sucks to be them...but the question now is whos next on the choppping block....
sad but true, marriage isnt what it used to be.
these days were not afraid to split because woman are more protected by the courts as well as theyre more independent and can leave without the fear of not able to survive by themselves...
if prenuptial agreements were in all marriages i guarantee you that most woman or man whoever has more funds, will think twice before leaving as they cant eat on bread and water everyday.
sucks to be them...but the question now is whos next on the choppping block....
sad but true, marriage isnt what it used to be.
these days were not afraid to split because woman are more protected by the courts as well as theyre more independent and can leave without the fear of not able to survive by themselves...
if prenuptial agreements were in all marriages i guarantee you that most woman or man whoever has more funds, will think twice before leaving as they cant eat on bread and water everyday.
Well, someone put forward that you are who you hang out with and many times it's very true. Most of my close single friends are in their 40's 50's or 60's, self employed, or the entrepreneurial types, in other words, doers. They haven't got times for games, the hunt, or whining and moaning. Very few bitch about being single, or not making a marriage work, They just tried it didn't work didn't like it, now on with life. Only one was married to a shrew and he got on with it after an initial shock/rebellion and recovery periods. he also doesn't spend too much time with idiot wanna daddy types. I know very few that are still in it for the kids, they've all moved out.
I know some really bitter people and a couple of them who got really screwed by ex's of both sexes (sorry) in my extended circle, but we don't tend to spend a lot of time hanging out.
I want to have a wife that would make me want to be a better man.
Not a wife who would be my maid and cook and who would hope that I am not fucking other women. I already had that. Bad fucking karma.
