Married Hobbying

[FunInToronto2023]

If you feel you are addicted, 1) permission to continue your addiction is not at all helpful, it is only enabling. 2) you are kidding yourself if you think you will be able to just stick to MPs. Guarantee you will escalate right back up to FS activities.

Either way, telling your SO/ asking for permission is not helpful and actually is a selfish to assuage your guilt, not to benefit or show more respect to her.

OK thank you for your input

 

[FunInToronto2023]

Telling your wife that you want to see MP's is probably the worst decision you can make unless your a swinging couple and your wife is ok with you being with another women. Most wives are not ok with their husband going to see an MP and having a naked women rub herself against you and jerk you off. If the guilt sets in then take a break and try your best to be loyal to your wife.

Thank you for your input on this!

 

[GeeBee]

After years of almost no sex with your SO I believe you're entitled to seek sexual satisfaction and physical intimacy elsewhere.

Believe me I felt no guilt at all.

But getting "permission" from your SO will likely blow up in your face, and if you're used to SP's and SB's, etc., etc., seeing only MP's will probably not be sufficient to satisfy your needs.

You've gotten away with it so far, and it seems on a grand scale. Just keep doing what you're doing, like 99% of the rest of us here do, and keep it on the "down low"...

Amen to this.

You’ve now got 2 separate lives going on and each are satisfying in their own way, or else you’d already be divorced.

Like a lot of guys here, including myself, you must have something that's keeping you with your wife. So don’t fuck that up by mixing it with the great alternate identity you have. It’s kind of like an alternate reality, or secret identity in a spy novel. You have a secret sex life and a home life, keeping them separate is the only way to keep them both going.

 

[CaligulaKing]

Should I tell my wife that I want to see MPs? Has anyone on here ever told their significant other out of guilt, exasperation at their home sex life or put serious thought into it? If yes, what was the reaction like?

Don’t skewer me it’s something I’ve thought about for awhile and of course each situation has endless variables.

Note I said MPs and not SPs as that immediately means FS in pretty much every case.

Bro... continue with the hobbie or not. Get MPs or get SPs or abandon and redeem yourself. BUT never tell her, never. If she discovers your little secret, deny it, deny it until the end. Nothing good can come out of confessing anything. Live on your own terms.

 

[FunInToronto2023]

Amen to this.

You’ve now got 2 separate lives going on and each are satisfying in their own way, or else you’d already be divorced.

Like a lot of guys here, including myself, you must have something that's keeping you with your wife. So don’t fuck that up by mixing it with the great alternate identity you have. It’s kind of like an alternate reality, or secret identity in a spy novel. You have a secret sex life and a home life, keeping them separate is the only way to keep them both going.

I think you’re probably right that seems to line up the most with my situation.

 

[Jenesis]

Thank you I can’t stop I’m addicted. MPs are nothing compared to the small army of SPs and SB’s I’ve seen. I’m legit crazy or some level of addicted narcissist (but a very nice caring person). I was thinking maybe with permission it wouldn’t be as big of a deal.

A narcissist only plays nice and caring. It is not an actual part of their personality traits. Lying and gaslighting are though.

Not saying any of this about you but you seem to be. Maybe some help other then what the board could provide is in order. Putting narcissistic and addiction together, with your current thoughts, is just a recipe for disaster.

 

[FunInToronto2023]

A narcissist only plays nice and caring. It is not an actual part of their personality traits. Lying and gaslighting are though.

Not saying any of this about you but you seem to be. Maybe some help other then what the board could provide is in order. Putting narcissistic and addiction together, with your current thoughts is just a recipe for disaster.

I don’t think I gaslight but I definitely lie when it comes to what I’m doing or where I’m going to provide cover for my horrible behaviour. I agree that I need to see a professional of some sort. I’ve seen two so far but the therapist hasn’t been a good enough fit for me to open the floodgates of truth to start recovering. I’ll put it on my to-do list for 2025.

I looked up narcissistic personality disorder and I don’t have “an unreasonably high sense of self importance’. I usually think of the needs of others before my own.

 

[The Options Menu]

Thank you you’re probably right that it’s the best way to go. I’ve never had FS at an MP place but am already interested in finding an MP that will do that (but can’t talk about those details on here due to community rules)

At that point why not just use a reputable agency with minimal verification?

 

[FunInToronto2023]

At that point why not just use a reputable agency with minimal verification?

I like the layout of places like Elevate they seem nice and clean whereas when I’ve done incalls at agency places you can see totally wrinkled sheets and super dirty carpeted floors. Don’t get me wrong I like the girls and obviously see them but the bedrooms are sometimes pretty gross. Especially in calls that aren’t hotels. Maybe an Indy is a better experience

 

[maddielikesu24]

Tell her if you want a divorce. lol

 

[The Options Menu]

I’ve done incalls at agency places you can see totally wrinkled sheets and super dirty carpeted floors. Don’t get me wrong I like the girls and obviously see them but the bedrooms are sometimes pretty gross.

That would be something to politely mention to the agency when done. I've been lucky with my incalls, and I get outcalls when I'm on the road.

 

[knees]

to OP, if you feel guilty about doing this while married (or unmarried), you can make yourself feel better by doing good deeds. I often buy those food bank donation bags at Metro or Loblaws.

Half hour with an SP cost about $180 - $250, a bag of food costs $10 after tax and can feed a whole family.

 

[lollivanessa]

why would this even thing cross your mind?

 

[sweetxaxame]

Want to know why you suddenly want to tell her what you are doing?

 

[Haggy64]

Should I tell my wife that I want to see MPs? Has anyone on here ever told their significant other out of guilt, exasperation at their home sex life or put serious thought into it? If yes, what was the reaction like?

Don’t skewer me it’s something I’ve thought about for awhile and of course each situation has endless variables.

Note I said MPs and not SPs as that immediately means FS in pretty much every case.

Ahhhhhhhhhh.… No dude

 

[FunInToronto2023]

why would this even thing cross your mind?

Guilt and I wasn’t raised to act so selfishly. And to have

Want to know why you suddenly want to tell her what you are doing?

I’m not sure maybe it’s to clear part of my conscience? But if I take a step back from that thought, it can’t be true because I’m asking to be able to have permission to be greedy, so it’s likely a more narcissistic reason. Or combination of both.

 

[FunInToronto2023]

Tell her if you want a divorce. lol

That’s true on several levels

 

[waltdub]

If you're so unhappy that you're stepping out, why not just get divorced? Maybe meet someone you actually like.

lol. You’re clearly not married!

 

[tobermory]

I like the layout of places like Elevate they seem nice and clean whereas when I’ve done incalls at agency places you can see totally wrinkled sheets and super dirty carpeted floors. Don’t get me wrong I like the girls and obviously see them but the bedrooms are sometimes pretty gross. Especially in calls that aren’t hotels. Maybe an Indy is a better experience

There’s no absolutes here, but mostly seeing indies from tryst, ie higher end ones, I’ve found the incalls to typically be quite nice condos.

 

[Jenesis]

lol. You’re clearly not married!

Shockingly, many men think that until they do get divorced. Then they feel freer then they have ever felt and wondered why they didn’t do it sooner.

At least this is what many clients have told me.